Hehehe I Am A Little Gay Gremlin

*writing in my diary using a glitter gel pen* I'm losing my sense of humanity

Every time i get my special 12.5mg high somebody famous(typically a politican) gets badly injured or dies. What does this mean

AU where the Dream SMP is literally just. Dream’s house, and everything else is the same. He invites his closest friends to be roommates. He invites a few people over for a party and they don’t leave. Wilbur announces the attic is claiming independence and won’t move out. Tommy and Tubbo steal Dream’s i-pod even though it only has two songs and become outraged when he tries to take it back. Dream can’t make anyone leave but he can exile Tommy to the spare bedroom closet. Jack Manifold has somehow been stabbed, buried in the garden, and crawled back out alive and well. Snowchester is the kitchen and Las Nevadas is the room with a pool table and Techno and Phil sleep in tents on the front lawn. Sam and Quackity conspire to lock Dream in a shed they built out back. It doesn’t occur to anyone that they shouldn’t murder each other over a house

i had to write something for this LMAOO this is such a fucking funny prompt - that being said, enjoy absolute crack and c!dream having enough!! please send me more asks like this because this is the funniest fucking thing KJEFKJNL i love writing crack i miss doing it so much

tag for this au is > l’houseberg au !!

warnings: fire, violence, fighting, alcohol + smoke mentions, pure crack LMAO

“Hey man,” his neighbour says conversationally, “so how’s things?”

Dream doesn’t even wince at the sound of screaming coming from his house. He’s used to it by now. “Oh, hi Techno, uh, you know-” He ducks under a flaming book thrown at the back of his head by a yelling Tommy, watching it land in his lawn and start burning freely. “Uh, things are a little quiet recently-”

“Quiet?” Techno’s eyebrows fly into his hairline. “You’re callin’ this quiet?”

“Um, well, things are better than they were last week,” Dream says optimistically, “so, um, the attic has been taken over by some guy I let into my house because he said he was homeless and had two kids with him, but you know, I’ve decided that’s fine. A few other people have showed up, for some reason, I don’t really know who they are, but-”

“Is- Is that the guy that stole your attic?” Techno points to Wilbur, who saunters by with a peanut butter sandwich from the kitchen while two others scream at him. “Wilbur Soot?”

Dream blinks. “You know him?”

“Yeah?” Techno scoffs. “Dude, he’s not even homeless. He lives with Phil. You know, like, the guy who lives next door to me?”

“He’s not homeless..?”

“You’ve been exiled!” A man in a beanie yells at Wilbur. “That means you can’t come into the attic again! Stop trying to break back in!”

“Let me talk to Schlatt,” Wilbur demands, “he’s been keeping the peanut butter from my people. I want to talk to him. He needs to treat my people better.”

“He’s passed out drunk in the attic, dude, I don’t know what you want from me-”

“Dream.” Techno interrupts their listening with some concern. “I hate to pry, but when was the last time you slept?”

“Oh, you know,” Dream laughs, voice cracking, eye twitching at the sound of something being smashed from the inside, “uh, like, a week or so ago!”

So that explains why he’s so calm. Techno winces, and then eyes the blanket and pillow in his hands. “I didn’t wake you as you were tryin’ to sleep, did I?”

“No, no,” Dream claps him on the back as he heads outside to a deckchair in the front yard, putting the pillow down and putting on sunglasses, deliberately ignoring the dismal weather and the fact his window cracks very suddenly behind him as someone is flung into a wall, “I decided to take a break for a bit. It’s like... vacation, you know?”

“Have you considered therapy?” Techno asks politely, as the sound of screaming gets louder. “This is pretty rough luck, man.”

“It’s okay,” Dream says absently, pulling the blanket over himself, already half asleep, “wake me up if they burn down my house, please.”

“TECHNOBLADE!”

Techno finds himself being yanked inside, and by the time he gets his bearings, the door is firmly shut and locked behind him. Heart sinking, he turns round to see a hyperactive TommyInnit and a very tired looking Wilbur Soot, one of them beaming, the other scowling.

“Hey,” Techno greets warily, “what’s goin’ on?”

“We’re taking back L’Attic,” Tommy says dramatically, throwing his arms out and shattering a photo of Dream and his friends that had been on the wall, “and you’re going to help.”

Technoblade glances upwards, where he can smell the faint stench of alcohol and smoke. “You mean Dream’s attic?”

“Revolution,” Wilbur stresses, crossing his arms, “we’re rebelling against the government, Technoblade. Are you in?”

...Techno turns to the door, still very firmly locked, and then to Quackity and Tubbo, who are yelling at each other over Dream’s bills.

“Yeah,” he sighs, resigning himself to his fate, “yeah, I’m in.”

and you know what ill be crazy and say it IDC if closeted people make lighthearted gay jokes and also i know schlannie comfort character jschlatt isnt going to come talk to me about accountability and how to foster a non-toxic community And while im at it im so sorry that someone was hypercriticized for being homophobic to Dream GOOD LORD it must be so hard having thousands of eyes on them picking apart their every word but APPARENTLY if they were in Dream's shoes it would all be different so really whats the problem wheres the gracious apology? and i knaurrrr we all love to cry privileged rich dude on the internet but besides the obvious fact that ummmm You just described half of your Fav CC list, its srsly time you deconstructed this twisted notion that Dream is the second fucking coming of elon musk -- because really im sitting here wondering what lavish luxuries Dream is sitting in as he stews in his dark ass fucking room for a full two years terrified of leaving his home and only experiences the social interaction of his discord friends and every bitch on twitter who has some shit to say, and he cant even trust the people he has on discord to defend him either because here comes dsmp member #33 cranking out a cheap diss for clout -- not that he'd call them out for it. and maybe if u got off ur prideful high horse about being the paragon of virtue then youd be able to actually do something good in the world instead of telling some 22 year old to khs because all ur twitter friends have made him the perfect punching bag for u to take cheap shots off of while u project every issue uve had with another human being onto him (luckily those kind people who doxxed a teenage girl have provided something for you to talk about for 3 years) and you can cry and mald over the fact that Dream HAS done a lot of good for the gaming community and its probably more of a # leftist win ! then youll ever accomplish in your gawddamn life. but umm heres a consolation prize for reading more carrds i guess. and yes, people WERE asking him to come out and if u have selectively chosen to forget that then its a problem with your neurologist and not my fucking issue and ultimately if you are upset with Dream all u are doing is causing urself and others misery by continuing to scrutinize his every act so move on and be above the internet drama like you apparently would if you were Dream.

PLUS, RATIO.

FORGET EVERYTHING ELSE THIS EDIT SAVED MY LIFE

https://www.reddit.com/r/MinecraftChampionship/comments/uh4u2c/participants_losing_their_minds_over_dreams_sot/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

reddit

r/MinecraftChampionship - Participants Losing Their Minds over Dream’s SOT Run

613 votes and 40 comments so far on Reddit

There are people who still thinks they're straight ??? After seeing them ???

Tumblr has made me delusional to the point of forgetting that there's actually people out there that look at eddie munson and steve harrington and see two perfectly straight men

I'm a recursive gnostic. I believe there is no god, just an infinite chain of demiurges stretching out to eternity.

we need to romanticize lying on the floor and not doing anything

back to thinking thoughts