Let me be the answer to your questions, little Starmaker.
(I will be the morning star that swallows you whole)
I have a feeling that beneath the little halo on your noble head There lies a thought or two the devil might be interested to know You're like the finish of a novel that I'll finally have to take to bed You fascinate me so
You Fascinate Me So, Blossom Dearie
this user has gone 0 days without thinking about good omens. the record is 0 days
Finnly and Jac my loves
Credit to @mellon-soup for refrence
You have become so damaged, that when someone wants to give you what you deserve, you have no idea how to respond.
They are the epitome of gender envy... I wanna be them
A friendly reminder as the RWRB movie approaches that none of the actors or actresses are obligated to share their sexual orientation with you. I don’t know if either of the two leads have come out or spoken publicly about whatever their sexuality might be, but let’s not have a repeat of Heartstopper and bully someone into submission.
One, two, three, breath Chris you’re fine. My internal monologue screamed at me, clawed at my brain. He wouldn’t ditch me, not when it’s something important, he just wouldn’t.
I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, it’s fine, it’s going to be fine. He’ll be here in a few minutes, he’s only five minutes late, it’s fine. I looked down at the mug sitting on the table in front of me, trying to drown out the buzz of the people around me. I ran a hand through my dark hair, my finger tapping on the table mindlessly, the buzz of these people’s gonna drive me insane. That’s when I heard the door open.
Benny sat down in the seat across from me, a smile across his face, I must look panicked because as soon as he looked at me his expression turned to worry. “Chris, are you alright?” he sounded genuinely concerned, maybe he wouldn’t run away. No, he wouldn’t do that, Benny isn’t like that. He’s not, and I know that.
“Benny, if I told you something that you might not like, would you stick around?” my voice was shaky and his eyes widened at the question.
“You know I wouldn’t up and leave you.” He picked up my mug and took a sip of the coffee inside, looking at me over the cup. The light hit his eyes and made the dark brown look like rich honey. I liked his eyes, they made me feel safe.
“Well, um… I just don’t want you to hate me,” I took the mug from his hands a took a sip, letting the warm liquid help settle my nerves. I could feel that lump in my throat, and the burn in the back of my eyes, “you’re my best friend.”
“I could never hate you, man you’re like the most important person to me,” he put his hand over the mug and lowered it to the table, locking his eyes with mine, not letting me drop my gaze. “Chris I could never.” He said it strongly a firm expression on his face. He wasn’t lying, he wouldn’t leave.
I took in a breath. “So, you know how you’ve been trying to set me up with a girl?” He nodded his head, knowing not to speak or I might go into a panic. “I want… no, I need you to stop.” I put my hands on the table scraping at the wood with my nail.
“Okay, you don’t want a relationship that’s fine man, I mean whenever you’re ready.” he leaned back in his seat. “I’m sorry I pushed that.”
I away from him, biting at my lip, and shaking my head. “It’s… It’s not that I don’t want a relationship, Benny…” my voice was barely a whisper, but he heard me. My vision started to become blurry and I looked out the window. I felt the wet tear slide down my cheek. “I just don’t want one with a girl.” I wiped my face and looked up at him. I couldn’t read his face, but it looked like shock. “You can go if you want, I get it, okay.” I heard my voice crack and I swallowed thickly.
He stood up, and dread immediately washed over my entire body, and I felt myself sink into the chair, as I tried not to let this god awful noise leave my throat.
But he walked over to my seat grabbing my shoulders and pulling me into a bone-crushing hug. I balled my fists into the back of his shirt, burying my face in his neck. I was shaking from head to toe, my knees about gave out on me. But he squeezed me tighter.
“It’s okay, Chris. You’re okay.” He soothed, and I just let the hot tears fall from my eyes. “I’m glad you told me. Chris, I could never hate you for who you choose to love… never.” I nodded my head, a smile he couldn’t see across my face. I couldn’t believe it, it took me so long for me to be okay knowing that I was gay, but he… he accepted it just like that. I dropped my arms and lifted my head, the grin still on my face. He smiled back.
I think it’s going to be okay, I think we’re gonna be okay. I don’t have to hide behind this mask anymore. I don’t need to be as afraid. I can be okay with me again, and I can be happy with that, just as I should be.
too sleepy to elaborate at this time but I miss the old fandom culture of interacting with fanfic writers and fanfic artists as members of the fandom community who enjoyed engagement and discussion and feedback instead of the modern trend of seeing us as content creators up on a pedestal who don't need positive feedback but DO need to churn out constant content to feed the a03 machine
Chloie she/her I love Supernatural, Harry Potter, Good Omens and Stranger Things I'm a weirdo trying to run through life, while looking in all directions. Green witch and worshiper of Apollo and Aphrodite
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