The Signs If They Could Fly

The signs as learning types

Aries: Musical 

Taurus: Naturalistic 

Gemini: Fuck You 

Cancer: Intrapersonal 

Leo: Verbal-Linguistic 

Virgo: Interpersonal 

Libra: Bodily-Kinesthetic 

Scorpio: Murder

Sagittarius: Visual-Spatial 

Capricorn: Logical-Mathematical 

Aquarius: Intrapersonal

Pisces: Crying

Latin Phrases for the signs

Aries: “Dulce bellum inexpertis.” War is sweet for those who have not experienced it.

Taurus: “Fluctuat nec mergitur.” It is tossed by the waves but does not sink.

Gemini: “Volens et potens.” Willing and able.

Cancer: “Serva me, servabo te.” Save me and I will save you.

Leo: “Dum excusare credis, accusas.” When you believe you are excusing yourself, you are accusing yourself.

Virgo: “Cogito ergo sum.” I think, therefore I am

Libra: “Si vis amari, ama.” If you wish to be loved, love.

Scorpio: “Forest fortuna adiuvat.” Fortune favors the brave.

Sagittarius: “Dum viviumus, vivamus.” When we live, let us live.

Capricorn: “Ut desint vires, tamen est laudanda voluntas.” Although the power is lacking, the will is commendable.

Aquarius: “Semper inops quicumque cupit.” Whoever desires is always poor.

Pisces: “Dum spiro spero.” While I breathe, I hope.

Weird Holidays the Signs should celebrate

Aries: Common Courtesy Day (Mar 21)

Taurus: Pizza Party Day (May 19)

Gemini: Repeat Day (June 3)

Cancer: Take your Dog to Work Day (June 23)

Leo: Lazy Day (Aug 10)

Virgo: Be Late for Something Day (Sep 5)

Libra: Wear Something Gaudy Day (Oct 17)

Scorpio: National Absurdity Day (Nov 20)

Sagittarius: Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day (Dec 8)

Capricorn: Make up your Mind Day (Dec 31)

Aquarius Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk Day (11 Feb, United States)

Pisces: Public Sleeping Day (Mar 16)

The Signs as Rain

Gemini: Sudden storm that wasn't on the forecast.

Cancer: A soft drizzle that you don't need an umbrella for.

Leo: Really loud rain that you can hear even when the windows are shut.

Virgo: Not even "rain" more like mist.

Libra: The first few drops before a HUGE storm

Scorpio: A FUCKING HURRICANE

Sagittarius: Really cold rain on a hot day.

Capricorn: The extra rain drops the day after a storm that balance on leaves and fall when the wind blows.

Aquarius: A loud thunderstorm with lots of lightning and harsh wind.

Pisces: The smell before it actually starts raining.

Aries: Rain when the wind blows it sideways and you still get wet even though you have an umbrella.

Taurus: A storm that lasts for days on end.

THE SIGNS AS GREEK GODDESSES

Aries: Athena, Goddess of War

Taurus: Aphrodite, Goddess of Beauty

Gemini: Hebe, Goddess of Youth

Cancer: Selene, Goddess and Titan of the Moon

Leo: Hera, Queen of Goddesses

Virgo: Demeter, Goddess of the Harvest

Libra: Themis, Goddess of Divine Justice

Scorpio: Persephone, Goddess of the Underworld

Sagittarius: Artemis, Goddess of Hunt and Nature

Capricorn: Nike, Goddess of Victory

Aquarius: Hectate, Goddess of Magic and Witchcraft

Pisces: Eos, Goddess of Dawn and Hope

THE SIGNS AS GREEK MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURES

Aries: Chimera

Taurus: Minotaur

Gemini: Hydra

Cancer: Harpies

Leo: Manticore

Virgo: Nymphs

Libra: Sirens

Scorpio: Lamia Vampires

Sagittarius: Centaurs

Capricorn: Medusa

Aquarius: Muses

Pisces: Merpeople

type of humor

aries: deadpan

taurus: knock knock jokes

gemini: self-deprecating

cancer: juvenile 

leo: hyberbolic

virgo: morbid

libra: highbrow

scorpio: sarcasm 

sagittarius: puns

capricorn: memes

aquarius: stand-up

pisces: situational irony

The signs dancing

Aries: Twerk it Taurus: soft groovin’ Gemini: how bout no Cancer: white dad at a barbecue Leo: they think they’re great… Ssh Virgo: nah Libra: grinding on everything Scorpio: My eyes are burning Sagittarius: stripper who’s rent is due tomorrow Capricorn: no Aquarius: looks like they’re being electrocuted Pisces: they think they can twerk

Signs as dog breeds

Aries: doberman pinscher

Taurus: golden retriever

Gemini: pomeranian

Cancer: chihuahua

Leo: labrador retriever

Virgo: shiba inu

Libra: collie

Scorpio: pit bull

Sagittarius: beagle

Capricorn: australian shepherd

Aquarius: bulldog

Pisces: yorkshire terrier

types of magic the signs use as wizards

Aries: Metamorphosis

Taurus: Nature healing magic

Gemini: Illusion

Cancer: Healing waters and potions

Leo: Fire magic

Virgo: Telekinesis

Libra: Karma magic

Scorpio: Blood magic

Sagittarius: Fireballs

Capricorn: Invisibility

Aquarius: Speed of light

Pisces: Frost magic