chayawaxman

Latest Posts by chayawaxman

I would trust Tony hawk with the aux

Dave England!!!

just a bunch of silver foxville photos that make me go crazy

How to handle critics Jackass style

Steve O talking about Jeff Tremaine

Jackass: Where Are They Now? (2007)

April helping Johnny get paint out of his hair

ehren mcghehey the original ipad kid

i just know that these two would make the best creative duo on earth and you can't convince me otherwise

please please please write a fic for ville? i really don’t have a bright idea besides they meet through a mutual friend and go on a date.

Blind Date

After a long and excruciatingly exhausting breakup, you have decided that maybe a single life is the way for you. Why bother to look for anything else when you just can stay by yourself, happy and unbothered? 

Your friend, however, had a different idea in her mind.

“You just have to trust me, I found a perfect guy!”

“Perfect guy? Come on, Hannah, that’s not even possible.” – you murmured, finishing your iced latte.

“Well, maybe not perfect… But close! Seriously, Y/N, you have to get out there and have some fun! Life’s not only about your studies and shit!” – Hannah was weirdly persistent, dragging you away by your arm. The mall was filled with people and both of you just wanted to get some fresh air.

“Alright, alright, you win” – you sighed. – “I’ll do it for you. But it’s just one time thing!”

Hannah giggled, opening the mall door for you.

“You won’t regret it!”

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After getting ready, you took a long look in the mirror, thinking about this whole situation. When was the last time when you agreed to a blind date? These things are like a russian roulette, you either get a totally amazing, fun experience, or you end up planning the best excuse to get out as quickly as possible. You were just hoping that this “perfect guy” is not going to turn out to be a complete freak.

Punctual as (almost) always, you got to the spot. Dimly lit bar, candles flickering on tables, small fireplace glowing in the corner. Near the main street, but hidden just well enough not to be overcrowded. Most of the people there seemed to be regulars, sitting comfortably in their velvet chairs.

“Sorry, are you Y/N by any chance?” – you heard his voice, deep and alluring, before you even saw him. “Hannah told me to expect a lookalike of a greek goddess, and you fit the picture perfectly.”

You stood speechless for a short while. What was this guy thinking, getting so bold right from the start? What happened to hello, what’s your name?

“Oh, I’m sorry. Too much. I didn’t mean to…”

“No, no, alright, I was just a little surprised. Yes. I’m Y/N… and you?”

“And I’m Ville. Nice to finally meet you, after everything I heard. Well, let’s go inside, shall we? We are blocking the entrance a little bit.” – he smirked, holding the door for you.

You took place at your assigned table, surprised that this guy has already made a reservation.

“I picked the best spot” – he lowered his voice like he was about to tell you some great secret. – “Close to the fireplace, away from most of the crowd, just enough to hear your own thoughts.”

“Seems like you have it all figured out.” 

“Figured out? No, no, I just like to plan ahead, the risk of an unpleasant surprise drops drastically. And you? Are you a risk-taker, Y/N?”

Before you could even answer, a young waiter brought you your drinks. Red wine for him, a tall glass of english garden for you. The first sip told you everything you needed to know. Someone behind the bar definitely knew their craft. It smelled, looked and tasted like early summer, when everything blooms and sun kisses your skin. 

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“Hey, Y/N, what would you say for a little adventure?” – Ville asked, setting aside his third glass of wine, almost empty. You were just taking your last sip of a very fresh mojito.

“What kind of adventure?”

“The one you take without planning. I want to show you something.” 

His words brought promises of something mysterious. The more you looked, the more you started to notice this unique, almost vampiric aura around him. 

Usually, you would just call it a night and catch a cab to your flat. However, the night was still somewhat young, and you thought that maybe it was the right time to finally do something. To get out of your comfort zone, as Hannah would preach to you, praising the bright side of living in the moment. Maybe it was time to finally start living. 

“You know what? Okay, alright, you got me interested. I just hope it’s not that far enough.” – you said, pointing to your slightly uncomfortable shoes. They might be the best looking pair in your collection, but they certainly were not made for adventures.

“We’ll figure something out. Alright, let’s go.” – he said, offering you an arm to help you get up from this low seat.

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After getting across a few busy streets, you found yourself near the tallest building in the district. From what you heard, it used to be a home to a lot of businesses, although some financial and legal complications made all the tenants leave a year ago. Now it stood tall, proud and a little bit scary. 

“Come on, I know a secret entry.” 

Ville guided you through the back doors, then up the abandoned elevator, which was surprisingly still working. As you have passed floor after floor, you noticed that your final destination was at the last number on the board. Floor 45th, doesn’t it sound a little scary?

“Let me guess, do you know a secret entrance somewhere here too?” – you teased him a bit after walking out of the elevator.

“You’ve got it right.” – he laughed, showing you the way to a ladder, leading to what you’ve assumed was the rooftop.

“Oh no, no, I’m not doing that!”

“You’ll be completely safe, seriously. I’ve been here many times.” – he reassured you, placing his hand gently on your arm. You were both a little bit tipsy, which made this accidental proximity even easier. 

Live a little, you thought to yourself. Get out, experience, maybe even get scared, but it’s time to finally feel something. Don’t you deserve it?

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The landscape of the city looked like a box of jewelry, gently glimmering with golden lights. Rich, busy, fast-paced, loud, exposing all of its rights and wrongs to your slightly drunken stare. You were cautiously keeping to the center of the rooftop, even though there were barriers all around. You felt proud for finally overcoming your fear of heights, even if it was just this one time. 

“Y/N, are you alright? You look a little pale.” – Ville asked.

“Yeah, I just… It’s scary, but it’s fine.” – you smiled, looking on the glowing horizon.

“Remember, if anything happens, I’m right next to you.”

You both sat on something that used to be a luxurious bench. Close to each other, slowly interlocking fingers, as the midnight air wrapped around you like a transparent shawl. Then, without overthinking it, you took a risk. Your lips locked, you felt his hand gently caressing your hair. The night was young, and so were you. Why not live a little?

Happy Mianus Monday, everybody!!

knight in shining armor

2004

would you be open to writing dark content for the jackass boys x reader? 🥺🫡

hi, define darker stuff please!! but if you mean it in a modern booktok-stalking-borderline-abuse way, then absolutely not, I'm strongly against this kind of stuff, especially that I know that there are younger people reading my posts! the darkest thing you will find here is probably just some angst/heartbreak/yearning for the love that never happened.

the world is already full of abuse content disguised as the new flavour of content for the young girls, which can influence their view of what is normal and acceptable in relationships. Jackass guys in my universe can be silly, goofy or angsty, but they always treat the reader with respect. Excuse my rant, but I just have a lot to say about the current normalisation of this kind of stuff.

anyway, here's my family portrait once again, I wish you all the best day possible!

holyyyyyyyyyy molyyyyyyyy 😪

Tony Hawk

jackass members - date night perfume edition!!

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johnny - something classic, but not too overpowering (although i can see him with a layer of an old-time-cologne, the one with manly man design and a strong pine/aldehyde scent). there's also a very light whiff of tobacco and... do you know how air smells on a hot summer day, behind a gas station, when road dust settles all over your skin, but everything around you blooms, and it's the best day of your life? yeah, that's the one, gasoline, dust and mid-heatwave euphoria.

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steve-o - raw, alive and somewhat hedonistic. i can picture him wearing some heavy perfume (bull's blood on the picture is probably the best example, roses, musk and tobacco), probably overspraying it a bit, who's going to tell him? there is also an undertone of sickly sweet soda that he spilled on himself on his way to you, and faint, but definitely present, hint of the few joints that he carries around in his chest pocket, waiting for the special occasion to light them up (preferably with you).

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chris - rules and playing it safe? they are not in this guy's vocabulary! chris has his favorite signature scent (probably something unisex, maybe even more female-leaning) that comes with him everywhere. it's a complicated (maybe even too strong for some) combination of vetiver, ylang-ylang and patchouli. he loves green scents that make him smell like a deep breath after summer rain.

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bam - we're definitely getting something edgy here. incense, amber, smoke, just imagine a burning haunted house and there he is. ash, burnt match, leather and dried flowers. gothic, dark and alluring, like a late night cemetery walk. he will probably keep a flask of his favorite perfume in his pocket and respray every time he goes to the bathroom/you leave the room - you have to keep up your vampiric charm!

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the vibe i bring to the function

i need smutty headcons with ehren mcghehey GOD 😭 nobody is writting ahout this fucking man and i love him

(slightly) smutty ehren mcghehey headcanons!

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ehren treats you like a princess/prince. although he can be a bit shy about more in-your-face pda, he makes it up for you when you are alone. i’m talking homemade, elaborate dinners, date nights in the arcade or movie marathons (he always lets you pick your favorite films!)

he really likes it when you tell him directly what to do. this man can be indecisive, and straightforward commands can really get him going.

he’s a really great kisser (especially after e got his implant for the pulled out tooth [i’m sorry])! ehren also pays attention to show his love and gratitude by longer series of smaller kisses to your neck and collarbones – which can often lead to you almost losing your senses, so better tread with caution!

he loves to simply be close to you. it’s the type of guy who holds your hand through the whole movie in the cinema, helps you with putting your coat on and likes it so much when you sit on his lap on any occasion.

he can get a little protective, especially if someone criticizes you. *hey, watch it, y/n didn’t actually mean it!* in his eyes, you will always be an angel who couldn’t hurt a fly. like a medieval knight, he’s eager to fight your battles for you, so you sometimes have to remind him that you can take care of yourself.

he gets really affectionate when he's drunk. this man just can't get his eyes (and hands) off of you. he worships you then even more, sometimes leaving his friends confused, when he stands up from the table to confess his love to you.

when your phone buzzes randomly in the middle of the night, you can be sure that it's from ehren. this guy just loves to send you teasing texts when he's away filming another stunts. words of affirmation, confessions of love, but also promises of everything he's going to do to you once he comes back. while it was usually all talk and no action with most of the guys you've been with, you can attest that this man, ehren mcghehey, has never broken his word.

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omg yay commissions are open!! I'd love some johnny knoxville flirtatious angst 😂 I don't have any ideas beyond that, but maybe you can find inspiration from this pic

tysm chaya!!

୨୧ 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐓𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫 ୨୧

sorry, i got a bit carried away with this concept, so that may not be 100% true to the original request, but!! welcome to the world where you and Johnny are ex-college sweethearts, reconnecting after years of absence and some really gnarly fight. enjoy! <33

It’s been a long time since you and Johnny had a chance to see each other, or even talk like civilized people. All of your recent interactions could be summarized in a small – but how entertaining! – collection of text messages, dating back to the day after *the accident*. Looking back at it, it was nothing serious, just a foolish, drunken debate, that made both of you go too far with heavy words. Again, nothing to write home about, just you two sharing the last drink of the night, recalling some silly memories from college days, when you two were… How exactly could one call it? You were definitely more than friends, a cluster of unspoken sentiments, heavy glances, a few after-party kisses. Just enough to make you two, almost ten years later, fight to death about the final questions. Why you two never worked it out? Who didn’t call? Who was the first to try to forget all about it? And there you were, supposed to cherish a quick moment of reunion due to his crew that just accidentally happened to film in your area. Who knew this would turn into a verbal wildfire, that none of you seemed too eager to put out?

Today, you woke up unusually late. Quick shower, quick breakfast, quick guilt trip about already wasting almost a half of your day. In the meantime, your phone screen started to glow with a notification. New text message, how convenient, sent from the man that only a few days ago wanted to forget about everything you shared together – even if it was just a young love fantasy, that none of you really wanted to let go. That specific kind of head rush, which can be caused only by something so idealized, because you two never had a chance to get bored with each other.

“can i take you out? i’m nearby and thinking about some things. i want to make it up to you. i promise ma’am, i’ll be more civil this time”

You sighed, letting your thoughts run wild, sprinkled with anxiety and confusion. Was this a good idea? Maybe it would be for the best if you two closed this unhinged chapter and just moved on with your respectable lives. Although, you said to yourself, what harm could it cause? Just one evening and everything will go back to the way it was before. You will both forgive and forget (ideally), him and his crew would leave the town, and you will finally get some well-deserved peace and quiet. 

“Only if you promise not to get sentimental.” – you could feel your palms shaking a little bit while pushing the send button. Maybe it wasn’t so casual after all?

“on my way”

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹

– Why have you brought us here? – you asked, looking with suspicion at an empty football pitch.

You tried to act all nonchalant, like you already forgot that back in the day it was your spot. Johnny used to sneak beers from his parent's house, you drank them like it was the olympian ambrosia, laughing, making unreal plans, while the evening glow showered everything in this nostalgic shade of blue. Until now, you had a chance to drink cooled martinis at the beach and cosmopolitans, carefully put together by your best friend, made to taste like a piece of heaven in a glass. Despite that, you were not able to forget this sweet aftertaste of flavored beers in a room temperature, shared with a man that you thought was your soulmate. Here he was, theatrically showing you the way to the empty bleachers, offering you an arm. He never lost his love for acting, even in the most foolish situations.

– And they say that chivalry is dead – you snarked playfully, accepting his offer after a moment of contemplation. 

– Never with me, ma’am – he replied, confidently walking to a pair of seats that already had a blanket put on them. – Yeah, I figured it might get cold in the evening.

– Oh, how thoughtful of you – you still did not want to drop the sarcastic act, not after everything that happened in the last few days. 

Johnny offered you a seat on the blanket-covered chair, a piece of weird luxury on an empty football pitch. Without saying a word, he took out two bottles of raspberry beer – how they could even fit in his pockets?

– A little something, treat it as an olive branch – his half-smile was *almost* remorseful.

– Olive branch? I’m afraid it’s gonna take a bit more than a bottle of beer – almost laughing, you took the bottle out of his hand nonetheless. 

– And yet you still decided to take it – Johnny noticed, his stupid smile becoming almost contagious.

– Jo, if I knew that it would give you such an ego boost, I’d turn down every drink on this planet.

How could you let that slip out of your mouth? Jo, his nickname that only you could use, just added to the tension that was building up between you two. So many memories running through your head like a messed up slideshow, fusing and merging, creating this emotionally loaded footage of everything that went wrong. Despite pushing off the thought, you couldn’t help but imagine… What if he never left the town? What if you had a second chance, a fresh start, what if… No, no, that ship has sailed a long time ago. The only thing you could do now is to sit down, enjoy the view, drink your beer and not get lost in his superstar smile.

– And I thought I was the sentimental one, bringing you here and all. But hey, Y/N, looks like I underestimated you!

– Leave it, Johnny. Don’t act like you didn’t hate me almost three days ago.

– Hate you? I could never! – Johnny noticed the side-eye that you gave him, making him finally get into a more serious tone. – Seriously, Y/N, I could never. And if I came off that way, then well… There’s nothing left for me but apologize. Sincerely. I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m sorry for…

– Johnny, stop, you don’t have to. Listen, today we’re here, the next day you and your friends would get back to your Hollywood’s hall of fame, or wherever is your current residence. We don’t have to do this, we don’t have to get into this weird, pushed conversation just for the sake of politeness. 

A moment of awkward silence hovered above your heads. He didn’t turn his eyes off of you, like – despite everything being said between you – he was afraid of losing another moment of admiring how beautiful you were. You could feel his remorse, nostalgia and genuine need to make things better, even if it lasted just for this night.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹

– Y/N, again… I never wanted to hurt you. I know how I feel and deep down I can only hope that maybe you feel this too. Yeah, yeah, I know, it didn’t work out then… And it doesn’t have to work out now. I’m fine with both, as long as I can hang out with you today.

This caught you a little bit off guard. You expected a little more bickering, some stuck-up arguments about misremembered words and unfinished affairs that could haunt you like first-class victorian ghosts. Instead, he gently took your bottle out of your hand and opened it with his chipped pink lighter.

– Impressive, I know – his sarcastic, almost self-aware remark cleared the air a little, while you still didn’t know how to respond.

After all of it, why can’t you just enjoy the night? Even if it won’t last forever, like you used to believe it will.

– Maybe for a college kid – you picked up the playful act, maybe going with the flow won’t hurt anyone?

– Oh, Y/N, so cruel again! You know what? Watch this.

Johnny took a mini CD player from his pocket. Just like the one you used to replay your collection of Fleetwood Mac’s music on. And just like that, the first notes of Seven Wonders started to flow out of the slightly screeching speaker. 

– I hope you still like it, because if not, then well, I don’t have any kind of plan b – he said, sipping his beer slowly.

– You still have this old thing? – you almost gasped, surprised and maybe even impressed. 

– Yeah, I guess it’s hard to get rid of something that… Hey, did you see that? 

– What?

– A shooting star! Quickly, make a wish – he nudged you, still following some distant constellations with his gaze.

– Ah, alright, alright. I wish for… - you started, but Johnny quickly interrupted you,

– You can’t tell me, otherwise it won’t come true! Come on, Y/N, don’t you know the star-wishing rules? – his slight laughter lit up the atmosphere.

– If that’s the rule, then I wish for us to argue again, fight often, maybe even never seeing each other again – you let yourself get your guard down a little. It’s still a joke, right?

– Woah, that’s some great reverse psychology upon an astronomical body. You’ve got me here, miss Y/N.

Stevie Nicks in the background sung another song about dreamy, star-crossed lovers’ fate. You felt his arm around you, both of you still admiring the beauty of a night sky. Lingering aroma of his classic cologne filled the air between your bodies. However, the distance between you started to shrink. The night was young, bottles clinked between your hands, summer was in a full bloom. Just like back then, for a while, there was nothing to worry about. No chores, no relatives or coworkers to get back to. Just you, Johnny, and this sentimental reenactment of your very first kiss.

Tony Hawk Tuah

grind on that thang

today some old dude at the skateshop tried to mansplain to me who tony hawk is and what is his lore . . . i wish i had some reddit-type-of-beat comeback at hand, but i just left that at oh yeah, i know! (he didn't listen)

stop trying to gatekeep my old men from me me please :(( next time i'm whipping out my phone and showing them my tumblr fr

one time offer!

hi! i'm chaya and my jackass hyperfixation is back. do you know what that means? yeah, i'll gladly take commissions for fics of any kind! here's what/who i write for:

⛧ jackass!

johnny knoxville bam margera ryan dunn (no smut, i beg of you) steve-o chris pontius danger ehren dave england

⛧ jackass-adjacent/cky people!

ville valo tony hawk (i'll love you forever for a request for this man) dico rake yohn jimmy pop (if i forgot somebody, i'm so sorry!)

Johnny Knoxville magazine covers???!!! 🙀🙀🙀

is he tho? (he probably is)

thought this was a beautiful butch lesbian but it's just steve o

beware of the vampire glare

girls be like "oh my god rake yohn is SOOO hot"

rake yohn: