"loneliness Was A Fundamental Part Of Being A Human In An Essentially Meaningless Universe"

All I wanted to say is life could be hard sometimes so go easy on yourself.

My mind is divided into two parts. One part always motivates me to do my best but the other part just demotivates me. Most of the time the other part wants to punish me for my failure. Not physical pain but the mental pain. These mental pain reduces my enthusiasm to do any work which leads to emotional breakdown and overthinking. The part which motivates me had helped me to deal with this emotional breakdown. Books have also helped me alot. Writing helps me to deal with overthinking. But still its quite hard.

Does this happen to you?

In the end, that was the problem with romance. It was so easy to romanticise romance because it was everywhere. It was in music and on TV and in filtered Instagram photos. It was in the air, crisp and alive with fresh possibility. It was in falling leaves, crumbling wooden doorways, scuffed cobblestones and fields of dandelions. It was in the touch of hands, scrawled letters, crumpled sheets and the golden hour. A soft yawn, early morning laughter, shoes lined up together by the door. Eyes across a dance floor.

I could see it all, all the time, all around, but when I got closer, I found that nothing was there.

A mirage.

Loveless by Alice Oseman

Ma. You once told me that memory is a choice. But if you were god, you’d know it’s a flood.

Ocean Vuong,One earth we are briefly gorgeous

"How was a friendship any more codependent than a relationship? Why was it admirable when you were twenty-seven but creepy when you were thirty-seven? Why wasn’t friendship as good as a relationship? Why wasn’t it even better? It was two people who remained together, day after day, bound not by sex or physical attraction or money or children or property, but only by the shared agreement to keep going, the mutual dedication to a union that could never be codified. Friendship was witnessing another’s slow drip of miseries, and long bouts of boredom, and occasional triumphs. It was feeling honored by the privilege of getting to be present for another person’s most dismal moments, and knowing that you could be dismal around him in return."

A little life, Hanya Yanagihara

"The fairy tales we read as children are very one-dimensional. There are good people and bad people in those stories. But in the books adults read, it becomes harder to divide up characters into absolutely good and absolutely bad people."

I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki,Baek Sehee

"We are all alone trapped in these bodies and our minds and whatever company we have in this life is only fleeting and superficial."

Jennifer Niven, All the bright places

KAREN: I think people that are too similar…they don’t mix well. I used to think soul mates were two of the same. I used to think I was supposed to look for somebody that was just like me.

I don’t believe in soul mates anymore and I’m not looking for anything. But if I did believe in them, I’d believe your soul mate was somebody who had all the things you didn’t, that needed all the things you had. Not somebody who’s suffering from the same stuff you are.

Daisy Jones and the six, Taylor Jenkins Reid

“You’re so obsessed with finding someone to love you because you can’t love yourself.”

— Unknown

"But you were like this invincible force to me,even then. You were a safe place to hide my hopes."

Alexandra Bracken, Lore