Imagine Eddie Getting Annoyed By A Biker Who Keeps Revving Their Loud Engine Down The Street When His

Hear me out. Cafe owner/florist Stede and Bikey gang Ed

SOMEONE NEEDS TO WRITE THIS.

Eddie made a bulk order of regular running shorts but ends up getting these, and he wants to call and complain but Richie is like WELL HANG ON A SEX- I MEAN SEC.... maybe you should give them ago????

After this whole time, I'll never accept Richie would just leave Eddie there. THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.

Eddie: Can you stop telling your twitter followers when we have sex? It's weird.

Richie: *halfnaked and already sent the tweet* whoops

I saw a tiktok that made me think of fem reddie oml

A: Do you listen to “girl in red”?

B: Oh, no I don’t

A: Oh… *sips drink*

B: I mean, I like pussy if that’s what you’re asking

A: *splurts*

Richie's plan is to not nut for November while simultaneously making Eddie nut SO MUCH, he's bought books about tantric sex, he's super prepared (he thinks) to blow Eddie's mind. And like... at first, it WORKS. He's got the stamina when they're getting down to business and he's FOCUSED and he actually has the self control to make Eddie come and then just pull out and not finish himself off. But then day three Eddie bends over in front of him and he comes untouched in his pants.

HAHAHOMgG Anon!

I literally have 23 tabs of fics to read but I sincerely hope there's some reddie fics of vampire!Eddie and werewolf!Richie waiting for me~

(1) "I recognized Eddie right away." Richie gestures towards him with his empty glass, fighting a laugh. Bev almost says 'I bet'-- it wasn't something she saw that summer, the brief time she'd known and loved these boys, she hadn't had the chance to see it and she wouldn't have known it if she had, but she's seeing something now, watching the way he looks at Eddie. "I recognized Eddie right away because he's the exact same height he was the last time I saw him."

OMGGG THANK YOU ANON!! THIS IS CUTE!

(2) "What? Fuck you!" Eddie squawks ('fuck me?', Richie laughs, Richie laughs and laughs, like he's been holding it back for twenty seven years or like he forgot how and he's only been faking it all this time). He throws a pea pod at Richie's head, it bounces off his chest instead. "I'm average height! Okay, you're just, your perspective is skewed because someone put you on the rack and stretched you out, you're a circus freak. I'm not the problem."

(3) "The rack? Kinky." Richie pops the pea pod into his mouth, to Eddie's theatrical disgust. He glows over the reaction it nets him, he sits up even taller in his seat. "I didn't say you were a problem, I just said you were little. Like a teddy bear. Where are you the average height, the Lollipop Guild?" (and he breaks into the song, does the voice and everything, while Eddie says 'The Wizard of Oz, really?', and Bev remembers the ghost of a school play, just for a moment)

(4) "Average height for men worldwide, you can look it up! You can look it up! I'm normal." Eddie bristles, defensive, and her memory sharpens. He'd been the tin man, with a funnel strapped to his head. Richie was the scarecrow, mugging for all the parents. Was it second grade? "You're the statistical outlier, your legs are RIDICULOUS." (Richie egging him on, braying with laughter, gasping out 'my legs?', mock-scandalized, throwing one up on the chair between them for Eddie to kick at...)

(5) "That worldwide average is like... taking in little people, right? And countries where everyone is short because of widespread nutritional problems? Because you are little, dude. You could sit in my lap like a little ventriloquist's dummy." Richie says, and Bev's eyebrows go up a good quarter of an inch as he scoots back in his chair and pats a thigh like he really wants Eddie to go for it.

(6) "You're the dummy." Eddie rolls his eyes, has to turn away from Richie to hide how hard he's fighting his smile. "I can't even believe you right now, I'm a normal adult man, I'm not sitting in your lap. I'm not a puppet or a teddy bear or a munchkin or a-- whatever other dumb thing you want to say, dude, it's just that you're a freaking giant... freaking giant freakish gangly bear man."

(7) "Otter." Richie says, and then his mouth clicks shut hard and his eyes bulge comically as he rushes to cover, as Eddie mouths 'what' at him. "I oughtta just-- you're a tiny baby boy, I oughtta pick you up, I could pick you up because you're so cute and little. You're so small I could like... carry you around, or throw you around, you're-- like I could just pick you up, I could do that, it would be easy."

(8) "I'd like to see you try, bro." Eddie shoves Richie's leg down from where it's reclaimed the chair between them, so that he can move into the seat beside Richie's. "I'd love to see you try to pick me up and carry me. What, you've got-- you're just gonna lift me, old man? You think you can lift me? You got some strong arms, you're gonna pick me up with your giant hands?" (She'd think she was crazy if Ben didn't turn to her at last to whisper 'what?', if Mike and Bill weren't staring, too)

(9/9) From 'strong arms' and 'big hands', somehow they wind up arm wrestling, and if it wasn't some kind of weird Richie-and-Eddie mating dance before, Eddie screaming about taking off shirts and kissing would get that message across. The way his eyes darken when Richie slams his hand down on the table. It feels a little like intruding on something, until the moment passes without either of them commenting on it. Really, she thinks, if they're the last to know, it goes to figure...

Anyone want to read a reddie where Eddie's a teacher and Richie has a wingman kid, please read this! (AP)Parent Trap It's so cuuute. I have so many meat cute fics to read