This reminds me of the time I was 12 and someone casually roleplayed offing themselves on Royale High (roblox) WITH GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS AND EVERYTHING.
This one has got to be my favorite one so far
this is my favorite subreddit
Why does tumblr keep recommending aromantic posts like what are you trying to tell me. I know my last relationship failed leave me alone
They’re just like me fr
I have three modes of reading
Dont read
Read a 500 page book in a day
Read only fanfiction until my eyeballs drop out of my skull from exhaustion
"a human is just a sack of water"
"I once heard one of our professors explain to another one how incredibly important physical chemistry is. The other one replied, 'Yes I know. But it's so boring'"
[draws a goat on the wipeboard]
"I thought to myself, 'god, I'm still so young and these people are building a hydrogen bomb next door!'"
"the alchemists were lonely people because they stank"
"look at this unit! Physicists make everything more complicated"
"hydrogen is that guy who does sports. Deuterium is the one who wishes he did"
"not a day goes by that something doesn't explode in this faculty. Our dearly departed professor [name] who blew himself up in his laboratory and died on the spot-"
"who here enjoys trigonometry?" [Several people raise their hands] "you're weird"
"generally speaking, you can't write one over zero or else everyone gets a stroke - so we're going to use these anti-stroke brackets"
"when I was a little kid I liked to play with mercury. You don't do that though!"
And my personal favorite:
"so many great inventions in science have been made because people dream - so, I encourage you all to dream every day"
the secret history is so wild. like there's a hundred different analysis essays you could write about it and it's meaning and whatnot. but there's also a genius who thinks of elaborate ways to kill someone but didn't know or believe that the moon landing happened. they pull off the murder of their classmate and don't get caught. they try to hit a wasp with a prayer book during said classmate's funeral service. the unreliable narrator does cocaine in a burger king parking lot. said unreliable narrator lives in a hippie's house that has a hole in the roof in a vermont winter and doesn't realize it's literally killing him. the absolute hilarious unhinged energy from this book is overshadowed by a writing style where the most batshit things seem almost mundane. i love it.