Yuri Shipping

Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:

The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.

Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.

It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.

Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄

Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.

also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh

⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️

Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D

Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.

Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:

'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.

you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH

And, finally:

lmao this is shit

True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.

Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD

Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D

Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)

Right, considering the current state of corporate politics on this site, and that it seems that only those affected seem to be actively speaking on the matter, it is up to I, the only fucking cishet on tumblr, to drag this out to a wider audience.

REBLOG IF YOUR ACCOUNT IS A TRANSFEM SAFE SPACE.

We need to show these higher ups how much we truly value them.

t-shirt that says i <3 when fictional characters make shortsighted and selfish decisions that will certainly make things worse and lead them to ruin

ᯓ★ PALAYE ROYALE PROMPTS, a collection of prompts / lyrics taken from palaye royale’s songs from their album, the bastards.

( mentions of possibly triggering subjects such as violence, self-harm, death and more. ) 

✦ LITTLE BASTARDS

i can’t take this. i’ve been a little patient.

i’ve got to get away a little faster.

run, you little bastards.

fake friends all around, they watch while i drown. no one is there to help me.

sometimes i’ve been losing my mind, running out of faith.

i’ve been feeling lonely, put me in my place.

so, fuck you — i don’t even like you.

no sleep, got another nosebleed. i can’t feel my face.

✦ ANXIETY

indecisions have been breaking my sanity.

retaliation when i’m full of anxiety.

a band-aid on a bullet hole that’s still bleeding.

numb you up until you can’t feel a goddamn thing.

a generation full of anti-sobriety. a generation that is full of anxiety.

all the voices in your head that keep talking.

all the blood on your skin that keeps crawling.

i was born to be anything i wanted to be, raised to be fucking mean.

i’m a masterpiece.

blasphemy meet again in a world so vicious.

mothers scream, fathers drink and all you bastards scream.

✦ TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT I DIE

lonely, another day. drowning, please save me.

i am struggling in my own daydream.

i know i can’t live much longer, hear the angels sing.

could I be a prisoner to the voices in my brain.

my mind is gone to waste, can’t stand to look at my face.

all these thoughts inside my head will be silenced by the bang.

believe me when i say tonight is the night i die.

as i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i look at you as i take my last breath.

as i die and fall to the floor, my pain and suffering is no more.

✦ LONELY

my life don’t mean that much to me so i’m living for you.

and you can’t stand the sight of me so what’s the point of this fucked up catastrophe?

i pop these pills to waste some time as i’m fading.

too lazy for a suicide, i just watch the days pass hoping to die.

daydreaming of my funeral — like who would show, bet no one would go.

hey dad, would you show up for me now? just to bury your little boy in the ground.

you broke my heart when you left me.

so sick and tired of being alone. so long, farewell — i’m on my own.

i dug this grave i call my home.

✦ NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

twist the knife just a bit further.

don’t look at me — i think about murder.

i think i’m about to explode. i think i’m goin’ to have a nervous breakdown.

start to feel myself panic again and all the blood rushes to my head.

you say you love me but you still left me — i guess that’s why i hate myself.

you say it’s over but you’re still calling — i guess that’s why i live in hell.

my brain has been fucked enough. please, stop wasting all my thoughts.

cut my throat and please let me go.

✦ MASOCHIST

’cause i’ve been craving your sweet haven.

so i keep turning while your body burns to the ground.

don’t try to tell me that i should go softly.

just look me in my eyes and feed me your sweet lies.

i’ll cut through your alibis.

hang a cross upside down. your church is burning down.

just take me for the night.

✦ BLACK SHEEP

do you see what i’ve become? why are you still holding on?

something lingers in my veins, that’s telling me i’m not the same.

i am sinking now. the water’s over my ears and i can’t hear no sounds.

scream out or drown — can you hear the voice say now?

go home and back to sleep, and count the black sheep. 

go on away from me, i am the black sheep.

you said it’s all in my head, you said it’s all in my brain.

there’s nothing left that you can say to me.

i am everything you hate.

i am unwanted, i’m not the answer. you were hoping that i’d change.

you push me down once again because i seem different.

✦ STAY

i see you for what you are

it’s something in your eyes that look past my scars.

where do you go when you leave in the night? ‘cause i see those teary eyes.

i am the only hope for you and you are the only hope for me, too.

i just wanted you.

so stay this time. don’t go away.

the end is near, i really don’t want to know.

it’s haunting me to watch you go.

✦ REDEEMER

can’t you see that everyone is dying?

the animals are crying, religions are dividing as my family keeps on fighting.

now i’m caught in something — my eternal suffering.

looking for the meaning of it all but i got nothing.

don’t know where i’ll go when i die, must be better than this.

ain’t it sad when you got nowhere to go? got no place to call your home. burden to everyone you know.

i try just not to think about my life so i do another line. it keeps me numb just for the night.

and i’m here just waiting for you to come home.

and i’m screaming all on my own with the revolver and a note.

will you please pick up the phone? will you please come back home?

In AiA, does Mark ever find out that Cesar is an alternate? If he does, how does he react? Does he accept the knowledge (possibly after freaking out) and live with it or does he lose his mind/sanity and do something drastic?

There is one time he finds out about Cesar’s true nature, but his memory of that night is damaged and he doesn’t remember finding out. Alt Cesar manages to lie to him for several years longer about it, and Mark is none the wiser. After all, an alternate wouldn’t save his life, would he?

…

…would he?

What type of games would Bps members enjoy, like out of puzzle games, point and click, adventure, horror, interactive novel, platformers? Maybe some tabletop, like monopoly or dnd? Idk, i got my Mark would be a Sonic fan headcanon stuck so hard that i need to ask.

I could see that, Sonic the Hedgehog 2 was out in 1992, which was like Sonic 1 but better. Since the BPS members were teens around the late 1990s to early 2000s, their favorite series would probably be whatever came out in the late 1990s to early 2000s. I could see Sarah and Evelin as being more fantasy JRPG types, like Final Fantasy and/or Dragon Quest. Adam is giving me hardcore horror game fan, and Silent Hill 2 as well as Resident Evil 4 came out during this era so it was a golden age for early modern horror. Jonah seems like he'd like PvP games of any kind, but particularly Mortal Combat or (every classic gamer boy's favorite) Call of Duty.

🪽✨Fly away now, fly away now, fly away~✨🪽

Panty & Stocking screencap redrawn w TMC victims bc I’ve been listening to the OST a lot lately. Also, cause you know, they kill ghosts in the show

(Greyscale vers. below)

HE FUCKING STOLE HIM 😭😭

Like… I have some art of Mark (one +Cesar) that I think he looks cute in but his Heathtitties are out and I don’t trust some of you children not to be mean about it so if you wanna see it EVERYONE has to promise to behave or you’ll have to be old enough to join my server where I know you have a developed enough frontal cortex not to make shitty assumptions about me based on a drawing 😔😔

Gabriel this Gabriel that. GUYS LOOK AT SIX. HE IS CLEARLY THE MOST ATTRACTIVE IN THE WHOLE SERIES.

Also since Gabriel likes wearing the Jesus 4000's (slippers) does he go PLAP PLAP PLAP every time he walks?

No barefeet for free

(Transcript)

S: As if his Royal Highness would walk anywhere when he can fly. Standing on the ground is just a courtesy.

G: I would be barefoot, but I know some of you mortals wouldn’t behave. So you’ll have to pay premium for those.