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One day One…day… That day will come. What ever that one day means to you. Whether it be the day you choose to stay, Or the day you choose to leave. The day you choose them, Or the day you choose yourself. The day that scares you the most, Or the day you choose to be brave. There’s always that one day. I hope it finds you when you need it most.

I will love you quietly. In my way. You are in my thoughts, and songs, and poetry. You are in my dreams night and day.

I read this quote once that said something along the lines of, "If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ideal of being known".

Of the thousands of quotes I have saved across varying platforms of social medias, this quote has lived in my subconscious more than the rest.

We as humans have to have social interaction and through our interactions we search for love. Our greatest fear as a species is being alone and within that being lonely.

To not end up alone though, we have to put ourselves out there and open up and let people get the chance to know us. Opening up to let people see our true selves is possibly the most terrifying thing for a person to do. Here let me show you my demons and the things I struggle with on the daily and please, dear god love me for it?

How are we supposed to open up and let people see our inner desires and not have them run screaming because what they have seen doesn't line up with their struggles or beliefs?

Here are my demons, love me anyway.

I will always apologize for my existence.

To be alive is in this world, in this humanness, is quite exhausting.

I am convinced I am wrong to be here as this; this living being, this whole person who has thoughts that can be spoken aloud.

I was meant to be something living, but quiet.

Something that has a voice, but no words that can be spoken.

I suppose, like a breeze that just whispers past.

A breath of wind that is craved on a warm day, but dreary in the winter.

I am meant to be a part of this world but not like this.

I speak with the moon, most nights.

I tell him my secrets and dreams.

He listens intently at all I have to say.

People may say I’m crazy, but I have the stars that witness my madness.

I believe in the moon more than any person. He doesn’t judge me for what I have to say.

If I listen closely, he speaks back to me.

He tells me of his darkness, and how no one truly sees him without the sun.

He holds a special place in my heart.

For I am also unseen in my darkness.

I want to be one of those normal people.

I know what you’re thinking, ‘there’s no such thing as normal.’

There are people out there though, that don’t hesitate to walk out the door to go to a store. There are people that don’t fantasize about death. There are people who don’t have trauma or flashbacks and nightmares about what others have done to them.

I want to be one of those people that wasn’t diagnosed with a major depressive disorder at 17.

I want to be one of those people that didn’t have to try several medications just for them all to fail.

I want to be one of those people that doesn’t have an anxiety disorder, and has a hard time just leaving the house.

I want to be one of those people that didn’t have to go to a therapist, just to add PTSD to the list of mental disorders.

I want to feel like a person again, instead of a number of things wrong with me, that affect my day to day life.

Please. Just let me be..

I mourn for all the women that were misunderstood in the past. The women who wanted to live their lives without the restraint of man telling them how they should live. Women who were burned alive for no reason other than they were born the wrong gender. Women who spoke their minds and were persecuted because their beliefs were different.

I will mourn for all the women who live after me. Women in the future will face the same things we have been experiencing for thousands of years. I have never considered myself a ‘feminist’. After years and years though, you’d think that something would change. If it hasn’t changed yet…why would anything ever be any different?

You don't know this yet. You are my sunshine.

The smile I can feel from a whole country away, well it takes the breath out of me. You are beauty in the rawest form. Your eyes hold the earth, the soil and grass. I could get lost in them and not worry if I need to be found. I feel warmth getting to bask in your light. Your voice melts all the sorrows.

I am not one for words and ideas of affection, but when I feel the sun radiating everyday, you must be made aware.

I was not looking for love when you came along. I learned to live with mediocrity. I knew how my life would turn out. I had made peace with this. Everything was not quite how I had imagined, but it was good. Not great; who gets greatness these hard days anyway? You came along and reminded me of the great in this world. You made me want to live again. We found something between us that we didn’t know we needed.

When I have no ideas for putting together the thoughts that need to read aloud by others, I like to pretend that it is not my time yet for my words, thoughts, feelings to be put out in the world. Please, give me a sign when it is my time to emerge from my subconscious once again. These thoughts are slowly drowning me and must be set free.