Made An Opposite One For The Other Freaks, Pick Your Yaoi I Mean Poison

Okay but, it just occurred to me, that Oliver's ex wife cheated on him with Teddy Dimas (in fact, Will isn't even Oliver's biological son). So, when you put that in perspective, his bout of jealousy in episode 4 makes a little sense.

(also I find it incredibly endearing ngl)

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Martin Short and Kurt Russell on the set of Captain Ron…

What do you think of Timon & Pumbaa's love interests in the show?

Oof. I’ve got complex feelings about this particular topic.

Sooooo. Let’s just rip-off the band-aid:

I think they kinda suck. Especially Timon’s love interests. The only love interest that was kind of okay between the two of them was Sharla, the pink warthog from Home is Where the Hog Is. Mainly because she was hilarious and actually had a fun personality, and some cute chemistry with Pumbaa (and even with Timon too! I loved the part where Sharla started hamming them both up as heroes and Timon immediately changed his tune about her. CUTEEEE.)

But… and this is a BIG but… her character design is so effing ugly. Like, did she have to be pink?! With lipstick?!!! And a tiara?? Could she not have just been a cute lady warthog that fit in with the natural aesthetic of the other animals!?! Aghhh.

Rosebud, the other female warthog from the episode Madagascar About You, was no better. Again… ugly ass character design. Bright pink and kinda gross looking. (I’M SORRY AHHHHHH.)

But Timon’s love interests were worse. He had two major ones, Princess Tatiana from the episode Once Upon a Timon, and an unnamed female meerkat from the Lights! Camera! Traction! episode.

Now, Once Upon a Timon is one of my all-time favorite episodes. Timon and Pumbaa are BEAUTIFULLY characterized in that episode, and the animation is to die for. Plus, I kinda liked the overall storyline of Timon being exiled for daring to shirk his responsibilities for ONE MOMENT (something Fred got away with all the time, I might add!!!!) for the purpose of pursuing a love interest. This gave actual backstory and substance to Timon’s canonical distrust of romantic love and vulnerability. But I digress. We are here to talk about the love interests!!

Anyways—TATIANA. She is cuter than Pumbaa’s love interests, but I can’t stand the long hair and tiara thing. It’s so overly gendered. AGHHHH. But yeah, she’s not a bad character, per se. She’s more… boring? I guess? She doesn’t feel well developed at all, and she only has like, what? One line shared between her and Timon? They barely even talk!

Now, in my opinion, a love interest for Timon (one that would actually HOLD his attention and not bore him or scare him away,) would be one that could match him wit-for-wit, challenging him intellectually, and one that could banter with him and poke holes in his ego in a way that feels playful, rather than mean-spirited. He needs someone that won’t let him steamroll them, someone that exhilarates him by NOT letting him be the dominant one in the conversation, and someone that, frankly, terrifies him. She (or he) would need to not coddle him or even comfort him—he needs someone that makes him face himself, someone that won’t put up with his deflections and bravado—so that he can actually grow and not stagnate.

Tatiana does… none of that. She just serves as a prize that he wins at the end of the episode for being heroic. YAWN. And, uh, also… he would be SOOO bored of her within two weeks. 🤣☠️

Now, his other love interest, the one from Lights! Camera! Traction!, is probably the worst out of all of them. Their dynamic is so shallow and weird and heteronormative. That episode reeks of compulsory heterosexuality.

Now, Timon trying to pretend he’s something that he’s not to impress a love interest feels VERY on-brand to me. In my mind, Timon is not only insecure, but has a deep-rooted sense of shame and even self-loathing, to the point where he believes he is fundamentally broken and unlovable as he is. (He would NEVER admit this out loud, of course.) Sooo, it would make perfect sense for him to avoid sincerity at all costs when he’s feeling vulnerable.

However, the part that feels off to me in that episode is the way that Timon just PUSHES himself onto the female meerkat. Like, trying to force her to kiss him while her body language screams “no!” That is ICKY. That is not in-character in the SLIGHTEST for Timon. He’s cocky and full of bluster, yes, but he is not some womanizing Casanova, nor is he a predator. No, he is awkward and neurotic, and completely swag-less. 🤣

NOW.

What makes my feelings about this so complex?!

I grew up with this show, and I used to absolutely RELISH when the female meerkats and female warthogs would show up. Baby Camy knew she was gay before grown up Camy even knew. ☠️☠️☠️

The pretty girls would make my heart flutter. 😭😮‍💨

So yeaaaah, I can critique these episodes all day, but I still enjoy them for nostalgia’s sake.

Let’s be so for real though—THESE TWO are the real love interests. Whether you ship them romantically or not, they are soulmates.

PERSONAL HEADCANON THAT NO ONE ASKED FOR TIME!!!!

I personally think that they effectively live as partners all the way through TLK 2, getting all of their companionship needs met through each other, but that they have just never named their relationship or acknowledged its depth verbally.

Timon is deeply emotionally constipated, and Pumbaa, bless his heart, doesn’t push. He lets Timon stay in his comfort zone, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But I also think they both avoid acknowledging the full depth of their bond because doing so would make it real—and terrifying. Admitting how vulnerable they are with each other would mean confronting the possibility of loss. And for them, that kind of honesty feels dangerous, because loving each other openly would make the risk of losing one another unbearable.

Anywho—their greatest love story is with each other. 🥹❤️

Bonus picture: these female meerkats were my bisexual awakening. 🤣

So I had to do some errands today and then stopped by Five Below and saw this cute guy:

Sadly, his husband seems to be missing. ;-;

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Being in this fandom is crazy because sometimes you remember things like when Martin Short wrote a musical about Martin Short with the same guys who co-wrote Which of the Pickwick..., and in that musical Martin Short died and people wanted to replace him with Meryl Streep, and it's a real song.