This Is So Funny Bc Ryan Reynolds Just Got The App. He's Almost Certainly Gonna Be Trying To Figure Out

“we should breed and ask our offspring what they think” has quickly become my favorite way to respond to someone disagreeing with me

autism be damned my boy can work a cauldron

blub blub

THIS ONLY HAPPENS ONCE EVERY FEW YEARS, REBLOG WHILE YOU CAN

You give a knight a phone with the tumblr app installed and he makes an account and immediately follows the urls king.tumblr.com and queen.tumblr.com and then he accidentally drops the phone in a muddy creek

Chapter 4: TYSON PLAYS WITH FIRE

“Yeah but, he’s already done that once in this book and seemed no worse for wear,” Will reminded Percy before he could get too worked up with worry again, not that he really had back in his school. Percy definitely seemed to have some instinct about Tyson.

“Kind of catchy though, Tyson the guy on fire,” Alex said in a flashy tone of voice.

“You and my mom can start a book club,” Percy snorted.

“Percy, a book club isn’t-” but Magnus stopped himself and shook his head as Alex looked way to excited about the prospect.

Mythologically speaking, if there’s anything I hate worse than trios of old ladies, it’s bulls.

“Ironic since your dad loves them,” Will pointed out.

“He can deal with all of them from now on then,” Percy huffed.

Last summer, I fought the Minotaur on top of Half-Blood Hill. This time what I saw up there was even worse: two bulls.

“Be grateful it wasn’t three?” Jason offered.

“Thanks,” Percy snorted.

And not just regular bulls—bronze ones the size of elephants. And even that wasn’t bad enough. Naturally they had to breathe fire, too.

“There is way to much fire going on in this book,” Magnus frowned.

“I’m sure the monsters will tone it down and switch to cotton balls if we ask nicely,” Percy sighed.

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Happy #InternationalCatDay Creature Adventurers! #wildkratts #cats #catsoftiktok #learnontiktok #krattbrothers

ok I just saw this and I love leopards so I’m legally required to info dump about leopards. DISCLAIMER: mostly I’m talking about African leopards as I’m not very familiar with the other subspecies but they are all fairly similar just the comparisons will be different.

Okay here we go:

- leopards claws are specialised in a way that allows them to climb trees facing both forwards and backwards

- leopards are one of the strongest mammals for their size and are capable of carrying around 3-4 times their own body weight vertically up trees

- leopards carry and hang their prey in trees in order to protect it from lions and hyenas

- like all big cats (and most African wildlife) a leopards coat is designed to help it blend in with its environment

- they need this camouflage as leopards hunt in a very similar way to, say, cheetahs. They will stalk their prey and get close enough to them that they won’t have to waste energy running them down

- how they differ to cheetahs is that, unlike a cheetah who will run the last distance to their prey, a leopard will often jump it - from a crouched start they can leap 6 meters (20ft) horizontally and 3 meters (10ft) vertically

- while a leopard will often flee from a large pack of hyenas or a pride of lions they are in fact one of the most capable of the big (African) cats in terms of fighting. A lion will usually only use its front claws and teeth to fight, a cheetah is just all around terrible at fighting a target that isn’t running away, whereas a leopard is know to fight with all four claws plus teeth at the same time - and due to rotting animal flesh on their teeth and claws leopard wounds will often become infected quickly and fatally.

- a leopards favourite type of meat baboon but they are opportunists and will go for just about anything, including fish

- There are currently 9 subspecies of leopards recognised by the AWF, these are: African, Indian, Javan, Amur, Arabian, North Chinese, Indochinese, Persian/Caucasian, and Sri Lankan

- Leopards coats differ from leopard to leopard, similar to wild dogs

- Leopards, unlike the other African big cats, basically cannot be made to be your friend :(. this is because of their solitary and opportunistic life and their brain is hardwired to see anything that isn’t a leopard as potential food. Leopard cubs do not have this tendency though so they can seem all sweet but one day they will turn against you

- they are extremely solitary animals, the most solitary of the African big cats, and have very wide hunting ranges that they, well, hunt in. These ranges are often marked by claw marks or urine

- male leopards are significantly bigger than female and have far bigger ranges that often meet with several female ranges

- leopard cubs first eat meet at about 6-7 weeks old but don’t stop suckling until about 2-3 months, they will stay with the mother for about 2 years. The father does not help the mother raise the children

- leopard hunt during the night hours in order to catch their prey off guard and aid their camouflage as baboons have very good eyesight (which is similar to humans in that they can see colour, but equivalent to a 8x zoom magnifier if a pair of binoculars). However, leopards can also be seen active during the day

- a leopards can make purring and meowing sounds like a house cat but their main call is often compared to that of a saw cutting through wood

- leopards often reach speeds of up to 56km/h (35mph) but when hungry can reach 64km/h (40mph) - slow compared to other big cats.

- leopards like most felines have retractable claws to help them move more quietly. Notably cheetahs do not have these because they are way too specialised for running really fast

- leopards are cool

- they are my favourite animal

- cheetahs are way too specialised for their own good

JUST REALIZED WE’RE ACTUALLY GONNA HAVE A BOOK COVER WITH NICO ON IT WHEN SOLANGELO BOOK COMES OUT. FINALLY MY BOY’S DESERVED ONE FOR SO LONG

Pjo fandom about every character

Will, walking into Gilan’s office: Alright, what’s this about—

Gilan: *slams door shut from behind*

Will, spinning around, saxe in hand: Gilan!?

Gilan: It’s time, Will

Will: Time for what? What’s going on?

*Gilan, appearing from the shadows, rope in one hand and scissors in the other*

Will: gILAN—

Gilan: It’ll be over soon

Will: Gilan nO—

*everything goes dark*