Ford "Icarus Didn't Flap Hard Enough" Pines

I'm obsessed with the idea how their hands can interact with each other

some fords i drew recently

Stanford really went for 12 PhDs just to find a moment to brag and tell someone he has a PhD for every finger he had.

notes: temporary character death

You were a little kid, when you’d first met him. But so was he. It had been a time before time, when many things did not yet exist, and even more were simply incomprehensible. 

Other kids always talked about Bill and his ‘weird’ eye. You didn’t really get it. Your mom told you to be nice to Bill, but you didn’t really know him. When you asked the other kids why he or his eye was weird, none of them knew what to say. And if they did, they all gave a different answer. You guessed their parents just told them he was weird. Maybe you were weird, too, then. You never really knew what to say or how to approach anyone, and it’d only become a problem when your parents asked you if you had any friends. That was the moment you had realised that you didn’t. 

You didn’t really know why you picked Bill, back then. You didn’t care about him either way. But you did liked his shoes. They were big, a cool colour, and they were squeaky when he moved. What was there not to like? That morning, you had asked your dad what you should ask when you wanted to play together with someone. He had said that, after school, you should get someone’s parents’ permission if you want to play after school. 

“Bill’s mom, can Bill play?” You’d ask who you would later get to know as miss Scalene.

“I don’t know!” She responded, in that slow, sweet tone people who spend a lot of time around young children naturally begin to emulate. “I think you should Billy ask that.”

“Oh. I thought his name was Bill! I’m sorry.” You called out, swaying a little from side to side. 

“It’s Bill,” he’d said. His voice was higher than you had expected. “But mom calls me Billy.”

“Oh,” you started again. “Can I call you that too?” You asked. 

“…Mm.” Billy had hummed. “Okay. I guess.” Even when he’d said the affirmative, he hadn’t sounded entirely convinced. He was hesitant to appear from next to his mom. 

“So. Do you wanna play, Billy?” He glowed a little brighter. 

He was quiet for a moment. You think his mom squeezed his hand. “Sure. But what?” 

You didn’t really have much experience playing with other kids, either. But you weren’t about to tell your new friend Billy that! You’d offered to play hide and seek together, to which he’d agreed. After just a little bit of time together, talking and playing came a lot more easily. 

You would play hide and seek together quite a lot. That was the first time you really came face-to-face with Billy’s mischievous side. He had advantages over you that you simply could not imagine. With his eye, that could see ‘every’ which way, was always able to spot you long before you bumped into him. Yours were always just fixed in a single direction, bumping into other shapes was normal and expected. Billy never did that. He could suddenly appear behind you, and you had no idea how he did it. If you ever found him, it was because he could no longer contain his laughter, or because of the squeaking of his shoes. 

For a while, this went fine. But you grew sick of losing all the time. You’d eventually stopped, swayed violently from side to side (a sight of great displeasure amongst your two dimensional race) and cried big, fat tears. Your purple glow diminished to a flickering.

“It’s not fair!” You mumbled out, and crossed your arms in front of your chest. “You always win, and I never, ever do. You’re cheating.”

“I’m not cheating!” He exclaimed a little too loudly, and you cried even harder. “It’s my eye,” he said and pointed at it. “It’s not my fault I can see things you can’t. I’m not cheating.” 

“…It’s still cheating if you’re not doing it on purpose,” you mumbled huffily. Not to mention, he had been way too happy beating you over and over and over again! You sniffle and loosen your arms. “Did you know people call your eye weird? Why is it like that?”

“Yes. Duh. I know people say that… And I dunno. Mom says it’ll be alright when I’m older.” You were too young to know to recognize or maneuverer around a touchy subject. “…Do you think it’s weird?”

“I don’t know yet,” you responded. “What else can you see? And do?” 

Billy told you about the stars. Whereas his parents had tolerated his talks about the stars, had found his enthusiasm for something they couldn’t see endearing and worrying in equal measure, you were fascinated by them. Perhaps exactly because you couldn’t see them, your interest had expanded. Bill and you would exchange drawings. He’d draw the stars for you, while you would show him what the world looked like to you, or other things. Sometimes, you drew the two of you together, too. 

Afterwards, the two of you had become inseparable. And, years later, when Billy’s parents had lost all hope in the possibility that his eye would change, when people started to fear him, you’d stuck by his side like glue. He had told you of his plan to show everyone the stars, and you’d practically vibrated with excitement. You had counted down the hours. 

And, like the rest of them, you had ended up smashed. Into. Pieces, scattered into nothing but the finest of dust, leaving behind a pile of static, writhing blood. Maybe, unlike the rest, you had felt a sliver of happiness when you died. Maybe you’d even gotten to see it. 

--

In another life, many, many, many years in the future, you had been a human. In this life, you were born with the same fascination for the stars, and granted the opportunity to study them to your heart’s content. Maybe the Axolotl had taken mercy on your soul, or something along those lines. You had a good life. A comfortable one. A life that was much, much happier than the one you had lived a trillion years ago. 

But you had a childhood imaginary friend. Perhaps a part of your traumatic past life had lodged itself so deeply in your soul that not even reincarnation had washed away all memories of it. You had a childhood imaginary friend named Billy, who was a floating little triangle with a big, glossy eye and cool shoes. As you grew older, he’d slipped from your mind, and the only remnant of his existence were some drawings you’d kept of him in a forgotten drawer in your room. 

When you had doodled him again once, many years later, the shape was in line enough with his current appearance to allow him a portal of view into your life. He hadn’t been able to explain what it was that drew himself to you. Why he started to infiltrate your dreams, merely to watch from a distance. The design of your mindscape, the big, starry expanse spanning out above it, had felt familiar to him. The desire to watch you go about your day and do the boring, mundane things that every meatbag does every single day. But when he finally decided to show himself in one of your dreams, it had all clicked into place.

“Billy!” You’d exclaimed happily. “Huh… I haven’t thought about you in forever. It’s been a really long time.” It was something in your eyes and the way you’d said it, that had jolted him back all that time. He’d almost forgotten about you. Forgotten your name, and what you’d looked like. Only vague memories of happiness had remained in contrast with the sight of your corpse. “But you look a bit different from what I remember. Well, a dream’s a dream, right?”

“Y…Yeah, well, ahahaha!” It wasn’t often that Bill was thrown off-balance, and it’d made him a little sick. His mind jumped between destroying you from the inside out then and there, and cradling you into a little pocket dimension he could fit in the palm of his hand for the rest of his eternity. “You’ve changed, too, kid. Like you said, a lot of time has passed. So! What are you up to now, huh?” 

Bill knew from the moment he set his eye upon you, that he’d have a soft spot for you. It was dangerous. You weren’t like those others, who he could grow amused with for a little bit, toy around with and, eventually, discard without a second thought. No. The two of you went waaaay back, and he’d already seen you die once before. 

Could he really let that happen again? 

One of my favorite things in GF fics is when Stan throws something Ford has said/ written about him in his face.

Like, for example, some time during their travels Stan somehow reveals that this whole time he's had this creeping thought that Ford only wants him around out of guilt or obligation. Ford is naturally taken aback by just how far from the truth it is and, more importantly, very hurt that his brother can even think that about him.

And so Stan says something along the lines of

"Am I supposed to believe that you suddenly give a shit about me now? Or is it just that I've done something worthwhile for the first time in my life? That I was useful to you?"

And Ford's immediate reaction is

"God, Stanley, why'd you even think-

-oh"

Like, the whole thing of Stan still thinking about those words that were said years ago, now when everything is fine and when Ford is actively doing everything he can to show his brother that he loves him. Meanwhile Ford never thought much about those words, never placed any importance on them and only perhaps meant them the moment when he said them, when he was angry and very tired. He didn't even really regret them because he didn't remember about them, that's how little they mattered. But they mattered to Stan, still do and haunt him every day

I think Stanford made an alt tumblr account again

Speculative Biology of Euclydians (and Bill Cipher) part 1

Part 2

We're doing this, babies!

This analysis is based on two assumptions:

Before Bill Cipher became a demigod, he was a biological, living organism and so were the rest of his species.

Even after Bill Cipher became a demigod, he still retained some physical characteristics of his biological form.

I will clearly specify which of his abilities are innate abilities of his species, which ones are definitely his divine abilities and which ones could be both.

This is part one. This analysis became VERY long, so I'll separate it into FIVE parts:

Part 1: What is Euclydia and what are Euclydians?

Part 2: How Euclydians function as animals? (This is where I explain how are they built, what their organs do, how they feed, move, speak etc.)

Part 3: Reproduction NSFW (this one I separated because it's NSFW. It'll be nothing explicit, but I doubt your boss would be thrilled if he found out that you're reading about how triangles fuck in your office)

Part 4: Growth and development (here I will also talk about Bill's deformity and Euclydean society)

Part 5: How Bill Cipher destroyed Euclydia and got his god like powers?

SO, without further ado:

What is Euclydia and what are Euclydians?

I'm gonna drop a bomb first.

Euclydia IS NOT a flat two dimensional plane. Before you load your shotguns, let me explain!

There are many proofs both in the Gravity Falls show and The Book of Bill that Euclydia isn't a flat plane like the imaginary two dimensional world from Flatland by Edwin A. Abbot.

The first one is actually Bill himself. Bill's species has complex camera lens type of eyes. Such eyes are possible in 2D world, but not on the front, like Bill has. He was born like that, so that is proof that Euclydia isn't 2D.

Next, when Bill is talking about his home in Weirdmageddon part 3, he shows an image of his home planet:

This planet has RINGS. That is COMPLETELY impossible in 2D. Even if the planet was completely flat, the rings would go through it. They would never be able to actually encircle this planet. So, if Euclydia was two dimensional, Bill's home planet would not be able to exist.

In the Book of Bill, we see image of Bill as a baby. In that image he's standing on some kind of field with grass and you can clearly see that there's grass in front of him and behind him, and that's impossible in 2D:

(also sorry for the shit quality of this pic)

But the best proof is that image from thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com that you get when you type VALLIS CINERIS in the computer. It shows Bill Cipher as a child with his parents. The parents are holding him in a manner that is completely impossible in 2D:

The image quality sucks, but you can clearly see that his parent's hands are IN FRONT OF him and he is also IN FRONT OF his parents. The position of "in front of" isn't possible in two dimensions and yet on this image the overlap happens many times. (I circled his parents' hands in red where they overlap with Bill and I circled him in blue where he overlaps with his parents. Bill's bow tie is also in front of him.).

With all that being said, what is Euclydia?

Well, just like Bill said, it's a flat world. Not two dimensional, but flat. The third dimension of Euclydia is limited somehow. Basically, in 3D, creatures are defined by 3 axis:

x axis is left and right (width)

y axis is up and down (height)

z axis is towards and away from (depth)

All three dimensional objects have both width, height and depth. Two dimensional objects have just width and height, so just x and y axis. And Bill has depth. It's a very limited depth, but it is depth nonetheless. So he's not really a triangle, more like a very thin pyramid. This is his side profile lmao:

So Euclydeans have some depth, but for whatever reason, they can't move on z axis. They can only move left, right, up and down. They also can't turn around.

This is how thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com explains Euclydian movements:

Two dimension to and fro, you always know which way to go. If you're lost, don't be afraid, in Euclydia you've got it made. Run too far right to right of frame, you'll appear on left again. Jump too high don’t cry or fret, pop up from the ground I bet. In this place, there is no fear, loved ones will be ever near. Roles and rules always flea/clear. Euclydia, we hold you dear.

So, if they move too far left, they'll come from the other side. This is actually something that in possible ONLY in non-euclidean geometry, which means that Euclydia, ironically, is a non-euclidean place. It's actually a sphere (or a similar elliptical body).

In non-euclidean geometry of the sphere, there exists something that sounds paradoxical: a straight line is actually a circle. But it's actually very easy to understand with this example:

Imagine that you're flying a plane in a straight line. You feel like you're going in a straight line, but your plane is actually following the curvature of the Earth. If you manage to fly around the entire Earth, you will appear on the same spot where you started flying. You were flying in a straight line, but because Earth is a non-euclidean sphere, you were actually flying in a circle. And both of those are true!

The plane is very very small compared to the size of the Earth. So, to the plane, Earth's curvature is so negligent that we could say that in a small radius around it the Earth is actually a flat plane. So, for example, houses, neighborhoods, even cities are built relying only on euclidean geometry (the geometry of a flat plane) because the Earth is so goddamn big.

And Euclydia is actually a whole fucking dimension. Let's say that our dimension is our universe. Our universe is approximately 93 billion light-years wide. So let's say that that's the size of Euclydia. How tiny is Earth compared to the Universe? That's why planets and everything else in Euclydia can be treated as a flat plane: every object is so small compared to the size of this giant sphere that the curvature could be completely omitted from the equation.

Now this is my theory, but I imagine that Euclydia looks like a giant soap bubble. Soap bubbles are made when two thin layers of soap molecules trap a thin layer of water:

Euclydia is the water - that thin layer is where all the planets, stars and living beings on them are located. That's why movement on z axis is so limited. The soap molecules are membranes that separate Euclydia from the other dimensions, one inside the bubble and one outside.

Since Euclydians can't move across z axis, they have eyes on their sides that can see only left and right. Their vision is limited to one dimension. But Bill's eye is located in a spot that allows him to see both left and right, but also up and down. He can see two dimensions, just like us! Here's a diagram I made, so you can understand better:

(there are stars outside too, but I didn't want to clutter this image more)

So, now that I've spent SO MUCH TIME explaining what is Euclydia, let me tell you what are Euclydeans.

Euclideans are animals (or their equivalent in their dimension). Animals are defined as multicellular heterotrophic organisms with an internal digestive tract. This basically means multicellular organisms that eat.

Euclydeans have to be multicellular because they have extremely complex structures such as: camera lens eyes, teeth, fingerprints, exoskeleton and so on. These traits cannot be achieved by a unicellular organism. And they definitely eat their food, we've seen Bill do it. So they are (their dimension's equivalent of) animals.

And how they function? What type of animal are they? Well, see you at part two, if this didn't bore you to death already!

Thank you to @forseenconsequences @extremereader and @ok1237 for asking me to do this. Hope you like it, guys!

that one fucking pingu screenshot.

Just some headcanons I've been thinking about lately.

I put together a short thing of just some random (old) miscellaneous trans stan drawings I did and tried to put them on like, letter size paper files so that you could theoretically print them out on printer paper if you wanted. I'm calling it a zine, but theres not really any extended comics or anything.

some of them I no longer had the original files for, so they'll probably print out a bit... scronked. But most of the drawings I was able to resize properly. Theyre CMYK too so hopefully the colors dont come out looking too too weird.

If it DOES come out looking weird. Consider it part of my homebrew charm.