Just some headcanons I've been thinking about lately.
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Can we talk about how freaking happy Stan is in “Roadside Attraction?”
Like, pretty much the whole episode.
I mean, look at this.
He is having the time of his life, driving these kids around.
More of this Stan, please.
Uhm I only made this because he reminds me of nachos and... And Im not obsessed, ok?
🟥🟡👁️🔹🟢
Wherein Bill escaped the Theraprism, and Dimension #5150 sends their best bounty hunter after him. YOU!
But none of them ever expected you to fall in love with him.
The Theraprism was a place built to rehabilitate. But with the Great Axolotl's sudden disappearance, a lot of convicts used the opportunity to slip away and disappear. Among them, was the infamous Bill Cipher.
~~~
You pick up his book after finding the last human who read it. Your mind is hungry for information about him- the first ever convict to escape the Theraprism, a space outside of time, a place of redemption.
How evil and powerful do you have to be to escape such a place?
You convince yourself you're reading it to find out where he is. To know the scale of Bill Cipher's crimes. But deep down, you knew better than that.
It was helpful in tracking the triangle down, but also for entertainment.
"Slow days? Why don't you come on over for a drunk at O'Sadley's, my favorite pub in the entire Rock Bottom Asteroid Belt of the Vicious Spiral Nebula! Their "I'm Fine" juice is guaranteed to keep you coming back."
The book entertains you on a boring day.
"Ever think to yourself, mystery reader, what would happen if two warring planets collided in an epic, world-ending display? Ya ever pick up any romance novels? I'm a sucker for Enemies-to-Lovers fics, myself. So I made two planets kiss once, it was COOL! FIXED THEIR LITTLE WAR PROBLEMS TOO AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
There was a lot of filler pages just filled with "AHAHAHA"s, you noticed.
The contents were indeed disturbing. At least, to a mortal or any normal person. You've seen worse in your line of work, really. But so far, all you saw were funny little stories of mischief and shocking antics. Nothing of a dimension or planet killer.
Perhaps, that was all that he wanted you to see.
"SAY PAL, I KNOW I ASKED YA LIKE A BAJILLION TIMES ALREADY... BUT D'YA WANNA MEET UP FOR A DRINK? I COULD USE A NEW DRINKING BUDDY AFTER THAT LAST ONE GREW A SPINE AND TRIED TO ZAP ME OUT OF EXISTENCE!"
The book spoke to you. Tried to befriend you. You knew deep down it was a ruse, that it was manipulating you. It even asked you to give it some of your blood, once. Ha! No one would ever fall for that. So you decided to take a break from it.
The next time you opened it, the words written there weren't so funny.
"Y'know, I wish I could see the look in your face while you're reading this", the book wrote, its ink fading into splotchy letter.
"Why are you stalling? What's taking so long? Can you really not find me, or is it that...."
A singular, giant eye flashed through the darkened pages of the book, startling you.
"...You're having fun reading my book? You're enjoying my stories, aren't you. Ya sick little freak! We're not so different, you and I."
"You're not as good and moral as you think you are, [REDACTED]."
Upon surrendering the book to the Wardens of the Theraprism, you were tasked with hunting Bill down.
You closed the book after that, heart hammering in your chest. You couldn't look at it for days.
~~~
Shaken yet determined to do your job, you set out after him. It needed to be done, the book was made of lies. The book was made to manipulate the reader.
You needed to do your job, before Bill destroys more lives. You needed to be a Warden, and bring him to justice.
You needed to go back to your monotonous, violent, and bleak life, where all you did was spill blood and-
You needed to find Bill.
He asked you time and time again to have a drink with him.
And you knew just the bar to find him in.
Psst, thanks for reading!
Pitching an idea into the void here. The reader isn't human, still fleshing out what she is. But she is an entity whose SOLE purpose is to be a bounty hunter and warden to the Theraprism.
Damn they got me here
Voting Ford because I'm loyal but that sexy, scrawny, sickly scientist on the left makes me wanna MMSBJDSJ
Bill Cipher with no powers just means he should have 10 guns
Simple Bill vs Land Orca from TBOB
PUTTING THE "ROT" IN "EROTIC"
prints
Puppeteer
I need my man to win
Let's write!20+ | She/her | Artist and fanfic writer | MDNI for your own safety.
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