MY HAND SLIPPED.

GIRL I WILL THROW MYSELF INTO THE ARMS OF THE LOCHNESS MONSTER, GOBBLEWONKER, OR JERSEY DEVIL JUST TO BE SAVED BY HIM???

SCOLDED BY HIM WHILE CARRIED LIKE A SACK OR POTATOES OR (preferrably) PRINCESS CARRIED HOME?

hsgsjansjjsjkaka thanks for entertaining my headcanon

I headcanon that post-portal ford would try to impress you by doing really athletic stunt for really mundane tasks.

We all know he'd jump out the attic window for something as simple as getting money back from mothman

Picture evidence below:

But also I feel like he'd show off his strength by lifting heavy equipment to and from the lab without breaking a sweat. He'd be chopping wood for your fireplace even if you didn't ask him to.

He may even abandon his turtleneck to "cool off" but everyone knows he'd wear his usual coat even if there's a heatwave lol.

He'd pick you up and carry you to ned if you're being bratty and doomscrolling too much. OR if he just wants you all to himself fshsgdhsjajwjdh

Idk I just goddamn love this man

GRRRRRR no because im actually gnawing drywall over this. im feral over Ford performing feats of strength like a damn mating display. i swear, if he pulled any of that shit in front of me i’d react exactly like Dipper, screaming internally. but unlike Dipper, i would jump this man and eat his face like pizza. don’t test me

i am so weak for strong Ford its humiliating. yeah baby chop that wood. carry that weird space gun across the shack. grunt a little. wipe ur forehead. take the turtleneck off just to flex those arms and then put the coat back on because you’re still dramatic come on. id faint right there

yes, please carry me bridal style through the woods, saving me from some random dangerous anomaly shit. i’m the distressed damsel now. i’ve twisted my ankle. i need rescuing. let me hold your neck while you save me from smth dangerous

and that line “or if he just wants you all to himself” i smiled like an idiot because YES. YES. FORD POSSESSIVE. like you’re doomscrolling or ignoring him and he just decides nah. scoops you up like nothing, takes you to bed, and doesn’t even say anything at first. just kisses you because he wants to remind you who you belong to.

“you’ve been on that phone too long, sweetheart,” he mutters, already pulling your legs around his waist. “let me give you something better to focus on.”

saw this one and immediately knew what I had to do

Well angry, well sitting, he needs to rest finally

I wonder if it would hurt or help Ford as he tries to heal from what Bill did to him to know that yes, a God did fall in love with him.

Computer Bill has my whole heart I love that thing

okay okay goodnight

"I have missed you"

more dom-reader?

A/N: Yes!! So excited for this, I have way more fun than I should writing dom!reader tbh. Also thought this would be a good opportunity to write more vampire!reader and I threw in a little primal play for good measure! Anon, I hope you don't mind! If, of course, this isn't to your liking I'd be more than happy to write you something different! Don't be afraid to reach out, lovely! I hope you enjoy either way~

CW: sub!Ford, dom!reader, vampire!reader, monsterfucking, blood drinking, pinning, marking, strength kink, blood play, mild pain play, primal play, edging, orgasm denial, whiny Ford, desperate Ford, nipple play, begging, aphrodisiacs, dirty talk, mild degradation, praise, hand jobs, overstim, kind of chasing??, there's a small amount of running

!!! MDNI OR ILL GET THE BROOM !!!

Smut under the cut!

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?"

Your incredulous tone matched the shock written out on your features as you turned your head to stare at Ford. Ford, who was resolutely not looking at you, instead staring rather intently at the open book in his lap but you knew he wasn't reading any of it. The blush you so adored was making it's appearance, crawling across his cheeks and you could hear the rapid thump-thump-thump of his heartbeat.

"...you heard me," he mumbled. He was clearly embarrassed and you softened your expression. Standing from where you'd been perched at your vanity, engaging in your usual before-bed ritual, you crossed over to the bed. Standing at the foot of it, you lifted a knee, placing it on the bed and using that to leverage yourself. You crawled over the comforter, pleased when he immediately spread his legs to accommodate you.

"I did," you admitted, tone soft and gentle. He shivered when you slid a hand up his leg, starting at his ankle. "But, I want to make sure I heard you correctly." He still wasn't looking at you, but you heard his breath hitch when your other hand came to rest on his inner thigh, nails scratching lightly over his skin. You waited until his eyes flitted to yours, finding your expression open and eyes darkening with desire. "Humor me, darling. Please?" You murmured, and he swallowed. You fought against the smile, trying to pull at your lips when he looked away again, flush beginning to crawl down his throat.

"I-" His breath hitched again, nerves making his belly flutter as he tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. He felt spread open, pinned beneath your gaze. Vulnerable. And even though he knew you'd never make fun of him for anything, it was hard not to feel embarrassed by admitting his less than conventional desires so openly. "I want you... to... ch-chase me- oof!" His breath left him in a grunt as suddenly your hands gripped him behind the knees and pulled. Yanking him from his reclined position on the bed to lie flat on his back, your weight settling over his hips as you pinned him beneath you. He couldn't have escaped if he wanted to, your preternatural strength keeping him captive. It made his heart rate, heat suffusing his veins and making him squirm. You grinned, sharpened fangs glinting as your slitted pupils dilated, expanding like a creature on the hunt.

"Do you want me to chase you or..." You trailed off, leaning closer just to hear the way his breath quickened, heart thudding rapidly in his chest. It made the predator in you roll and roil, wanting to sink your teeth in and mark him. Claim him in the most primal way. "Do you want me to catch you?" Your lips were at his ear, and you were pleased when his head shifted, baring his throat before he could think better of it.

"Yes," he said in a rush, voice breathless and choked by desire. "I want it, want both, want it all." Your chest rumbled with a pleased purr, and Ford arched into you, seeking out the press of your fangs when you let them graze his skin.

"You know I would deny you nothing," you murmured softly and the boundless love Ford felt for you warmed his chest. Your thumbs stroked along the insides of his wrists where you held them, pinned to the bed in your hands. "But I worry you don't really know what you're asking of me." Ford began to protest, wanting to insist that he was a grown man, thank you, and though you had many, many years over on him he was more than capable of knowing what he wanted, goddamnit. He was silenced, though, by his own instinctual whine when you nipped gently at his throat. The points of your double fangs catching his skin.

"Hush, puppy," you murmured, voice fond and teasing. You knew the face he was making would be equal parts flustered and indignant from the rarely-used nickname. You wanted to look him in the eyes, needing to see his face for the conversation, but you were loathe to leave the soothing cloak of his scent that enveloped you. You nuzzled at his throat, placing a kiss against his racing pulse before you finally pulled away, looking down at him as you sat over his hips.

"I only mean that you have a habit of asking questions but not the right ones." Your voice was teasing, but there was an undercurrent of seriousness that caught his attention. He kept his eyes on you, even as you lifted a hand to cup his cheek, and he turned his face into the touch. You smiled, wholly in love with the beautiful man beneath you, and stroked a thumb across the top of his cheekbone. "Have you really thought all the way through this request of yours?" You arched a brow, considering how best to word this. "I think sometimes you forget I'm not human anymore. Haven't been for a long time. This... act I put on is just that, an act. If you run, I'll chase you. If you hide, I'll find you. I... can't promise I'll be gentle when I do. Or that there will be any stopping me if you decide it's too much. At least, not with our usual ways when we play." Ford swallowed thickly. He had considered that, of course, but hearing you say it, admit to what he could have only guessed at, brought it all into stark, startling clarity. You watched him, watching you. Saw him consider the weight of your words before his gaze flickered back to yours and held it, lips parting.

"I'm okay with that," he said, voice unwavering and strong in its conviction. Your belly fluttered, anticipation turning your blood hot in your veins. You opened your mouth to speak, but he cut you off, forging onwards. "I'm well aware of your nature, and that's part of why I want this. I want... to experience you, all of you." He turned his head to press a kiss to your palm, and you swallowed, a shaky smile on your lips.

"And the other part?" You asked once you were sure your voice wouldn't tremble. Ford blushed, biting at his lower lip, and you could smell the shift in his scent. The way desire made it sweeter, thick, and cloying on your tongue. He nuzzled at your palm, looking at you with hooded eyes.

"I want to feel you, all of you," he murmured softly. Want laced his low voice, and you shivered atop him when large palms came to rest on your knees. Sliding up your bare thighs, feeling your soft skin beneath his touch. "I want you to hurt me, to hunt me. I-" He swallowed, mouth suddenly dry as your eyes darkened, tracked his every twitch and movement. "I want to know what you're like when you lose control. You're always so careful, even when you tie me up and make me beg. Is it so wrong for me to want to know what it's like when you're not?" Your hand shifted, thumb moving down to trace over his lower lip, and he nipped lightly at it, flashing you an impish smile. You were quiet for a few, long moments, and the nerves in Ford's belly rioted every second. He was grateful when you finally broke the silence.

"We'll be having a more in-depth discussion about this before we do anything," you said finally, carefully. Ford nodded, eagerness tightening his throat. "I'm serious, Ford. I'm not leaving anything to chance; the last thing I want to do is hurt you in a way you don't want." His hands flexed, squeezing lightly at your thighs. He nodded, eyes bright.

"Of course, I wouldn't expect anything less." You chuckled softly, shifting to allow him space when he sat up suddenly, crowding into your space. He hummed softly in pleasure when you held his face in your hands. The slight chill of your skin sending a shiver up his spine. "Kiss me?" He asked and you were all too happy to oblige, deciding the necessary conversations could wait for now.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Ford's breath came out in soft, short pants. His heart pounded in his chest, anticipation crawling up his spine and making his skin prickle. Around him, the woods were silent, save for the usual noise and chatter of the more nocturnal creatures that called it home. The air was warm, a light breeze blowing through and making him shiver. He felt the unmistakable sensation of being watched, knowing you were hiding somewhere nearby, silent and deadly. But, unlike the paranoia and fear this would normally instill in him had it been anyone else, he only felt anticipation and desire churning hot and heavy in his belly.

"I'd start moving if I were you," your voice, low and heavy, interrupted his thoughts and the relative quiet of his surroundings. He whirled around, turning a big circle as his eyes scanned the tree and darkness. He couldn't see you, however. Wherever you were, you intended on staying hidden from him a little longer. His eyes darted left, in the direction of where he knew your house was waiting, tucked amongst the trees. You chuckled, and the sound reverberated through him.

"If you're going to run, I'd do it now, darling. I'm afraid I don't know how much longer I can hold back; I can taste your desperation," the word trailed into a low, near feral growl, and Ford broke out into a run. Your laughter seemed to follow him, taunting him, and it only made the heat in his belly grow hotter. You'd fed before your little game, and the aphrodisiac of your venom was starting to burn through him, making his knees feel weak and sweat dampen his forehead and the back of his neck. He could've sobbed with relief when your cabin finally came into view.

He had just managed to shimmy in through a low open window when he felt you. Almost as if you'd materialized out of thin air. He felt your hand, skin warm with the blood you'd taken from him only an hour before, as your fingers curled around his ankle. He fell back to the ground with a soft oof and a dull thud. The impact of his knees hitting the hardwood flooring of your cabin might've hurt if a dull, throbbing need hadn't begun to settle just under his skin. Rising to the surface and heating him from the inside out at the first touch of your hand on him. Your other hand planted itself between his shoulders, shoving him to the ground. Your knees settled behind his, pinning his legs, as you gathered his wrists in either hand. Stretching them over his head and pinning them, too. Your claws pricked at his hypersensitive skin, and the moan he let out was shameful, though he couldn't find it in himself to be ashamed. He pressed back eagerly into the cloak of your warmth when you settled your front against his back, and he blushed to realize you were practically mounting him right there on your living room floor. That thought was quickly wiped from his mind, however, when you planted your face in the curve of his neck, inhaling deeply and rumbling a low, pleased growl.

"Look what I've caught," your every word was tinged with a growl and your voice was thick, like you were having trouble talking. It wasn't until you dragged your mouth along his skin that he realized why; your fangs had grown well past what he was used to seeing when you fed from him. So much so it felt like they were crowding out of your mouth, poking past plump lips and scraping across the skin of his neck. He shuddered beneath you, pressing back into you on instinct. A gasping whine ripped itself from his throat as suddenly the heat that had been just a low simmer beneath his skin melted into a blazing fire, like it had been waiting for your touch.

"Such a sweet little treat and so desperate, too." You nuzzled at his neck, fangs catching and making him whimper. His cock, which had been half hard since the start, was now rigid and dripping down his thigh. You released his wrists with a low growl of stay, and Ford nodded, eyes fluttering and rolling back as you dragged your hand down over his skin, still frustratingly clothed.

"H-Hot, s'too hot, please," he moaned, gasping as his thoughts were clouded by a thick haze of desperate need. The noise you let out was pleased, and his hips bucked when your seeking, searching hands slid under his shirt, finally touching bare skin.

"So pretty like this," you sighed against his ear. "So desperate; just a needy little toy, aching to be played with." Your words stoked the fire in his veins, arousal burning through him. Your hands groped along his belly, the soft fuzz of his happy trail, and up towards his chest. Wicked fingers found sensitive nipples and he whined, jerking and arching forwards into your touch, filling your clawed hands with the meat of his chest and you squeezed appreciatively.

"Oh, oh fuck," he gasped out. He writhed beneath you, nerves sparking with pleasure as you teased and toyed with his nipples. You shushed him gently, a soft coo leaving your lips.

"Shhh puppy, don't fight it. Be a good little toy, and let me play with you." Your voice wormed its way through the sticky molasses of his thoughts, and he clung to it, a lifeline amidst the dualing sensations washing through him. His body obeyed before his brain could catch up, and his overzealous squirming beneath you ceased. You rumbled a purr in your chest and licked at the throbbing of his pulse in his throat.

"So good for me," you cooed and the praise was almost like a physical caress, making him shudder and moan. "Love you like this; all pliant and desperate, bet I could make you cum just like this." He throbbed where he was trapped behind his zipper, hips bucking into nothing with a pitiful whimper of your name. You could smell his desperation, so thick you could almost taste it, and it made you ravenous. Made the incessant chanting of your instincts louder, a dull roar of fuck, claim, mate, mine, mine, mine.

"Yours. Yours, all- fuck, all yours, please," he was panting the words, lips hung open and almost drooling. The need coiling at the base of his spine ready to snap but unable to, not without you. You squeezed roughly at his nipples in a sharp pinch, soothing the sting with your thumbs, and he sobbed. "Please! Please please please darling, mistress, wanna cum, want- wanna be good for you, please please let me cum." You moaned, gritting your teeth against the sudden urge to bite, to mark him as deeply as he'd marked you. You trailed a hand down, not giving Ford a single moment to mourn the loss of stimulation before you were cupping long, slender fingers around the shape of him through his trousers.

"Fuck!" His hips jerked into your hand and he sobbed your name, desperation clawing at his throat. You let him buck and grind into your hand, simply holding it there and squeezing around him. He tipped his head back against your shoulder, throat bared to you completely, and you were helpless to resist the siren call of it. Not like this, not when you were so lost to your baser instincts already. Ford lifted a shaky hand, threading it through your hair and tugging you to plant your face firmly in the curve of his throat.

"Bite me," he begged, breathless. "Bite me, please, please bite me, mark me, claim me. I need - I need to be yours, please, please, mistress." You couldn't stop the snarl that ripped out of you, and it only seemed to spur Ford on. Your beautiful, perfect Ford. How could you deny him anything? You couldn't, really. He had barely a moment to think when he felt the prick of your fangs, and then they were sliding in. Cutting through skin and muscle like butter, flooding his veins with your venom. The keening, desperate cry caught in his throat as his hips bucked and grinded into your hand and he was cumming. His orgasm tearing through him so forcefully it left him dizzy. You growled against his throat, jaw clamping tighter as his blood seemed to turn sweeter in your mouth. You drank him down in heavy, greedy gulps, hand idly squeezing at his still hard cock just to hear him whimper.

When you released him, tongue laving over the mark left behind until the blood clotted and the wound started to close, you slid your hand up to splay over his belly. You stayed like that for a moment, both of your panting as the desperate, clawing need seemed to subside for the time being. Though it stayed a low, steady thrum in your heads and veins. Ford was the first to crack, breath coming faster as the heat began to build again, encouraged by the new flood of venom through his system.

"Let me- I want to see you, please?" He asked, voice soft and slightly cautious, unsure of how you'd react. You paused, hesitating.

"I'm not- I don't look... the same," you said haltingly, unsure how to prepare him for the way you looked now that you had dropped your usual glamours, unable to keep them up as you tapped into your more primal instincts. Ford huffed, and you thought you could almost hear him rolling his eyes.

"Really, I had no idea," he deadpanned, and you nipped at his ear in retaliation for his cheek. You nuzzled at his throat, feeling the mark your teeth had left behind when you'd bitten him.

"It might scar." You murmured, only just now realizing. He hummed in acknowledgement.

"Good. I want it to." He huffed a laugh when you rumbled a low, pleased purr despite yourself. You lapsed into silence once more, seemingly content to nuzzle and lick and kiss over his throat as you let the heat build up once more, slower this time. Ford allowed you to avoid his request for a few moments longer before he spoke up again, voice gentle.

"Darling, please? For me?" You paused again, the heaved a long-suffering sigh. He had barely a moment to bask in his success before you were pressing him gently to the floor, shifting back and your weight up to allow him to turn over. You straddled his hips then, and his hands came up to rest on your thighs, reminiscent of the night he'd first brought this up.

"Look at me. Please?" He lifted a hand and held it up, halfway to cupping your cheek, letting you close the rest of the distance. After a brief hesitation, you did, leaning forwards and into the press of his palm. You looked down at him through lidded eyes, and Ford's heart thudded in his chest.

Your fangs weren't quite as large as they'd first felt, though definitely larger than usual. He could see the sharp tips, then at least half an inch more, before they disappeared back behind your lips. Your secondary pair glinted slightly in the low light, tips just barely visible where, normally, he wouldn't be able to see them at all. His blood was smeared over your mouth, giving your full lips a flushed, deep red color. Your ears were longer, larger, and he vaguely thought they resembled something of a bats, but he couldn't be sure as they were largely hidden by your hair. Everything about you seemed... sharper, wilder. More dangerous, but no less alluring. Perhaps most striking was your eyes. They glowed stronger than he'd ever seen them, seemingly lit from within. The whites of your eyes had gone black, and your pupils were slowly returning to the thin slits he normally saw.

"You're beautiful," he breathed, and you might have scoffed. You might have brushed off the compliment and reverent tone of his voice if you couldn't see in his eyes how true they were. Your heart swelled with love for this beautifully strange man beneath you. He curled his fingers around the back of your neck, threading through your hair, and tugged you gently towards him. "Kiss me? Please?" You sighed and leaned down, letting him guide you where he wanted you.

You took your time learning how to kiss him like this, and it felt like the first few months of your relationship all over again. How nervous you both had been, though, for different reasons. You enjoyed the slower pace. You liked that you got to savor each other, let the heat build slowly. It was when you slid your tongue into his mouth, and he felt the long split through the middle, that the low, simmering heat in his veins kicked up, and he whined into the kiss. His hands gripped roughly at your hips, and you rocked yourself down, grinding against where you could feel him, throbbing and hard against you. You wound a hand through his hair and wrenched his head back so you could look at him, gratified by the flush on his cheeks and the way his mouth hung open, panting.

"Awww, look at you~ haven't had enough yet?" Your voice was edged with a low, rumbling quality like a growl. It made him moan, cock twitching where it sat, still sticky with cum, in his boxers.

"Never." He murmured breathlessly. Mesmerized by the feral grace you exuded. The next few moments passed by in a blur, punctuated by flashes of sensation. The cool warmth of your hands on his skin as you divested him of his shirt. The feeling of the hardwood against his back as you pinned him, pressing bodily against him just to shove your tongue down his throat. The way every part of him started to ache and burn with the sweetest pain the longer he went without your hands, your mouth, or, oh god, your cunt. He could feel you, wet and soaking the gusset of your panties as you rocked against him, long skirt hiked up to your hips before it was gone, too. When your clothes lay in a crumpled heap on the floor, both of you naked as you could be, he seemed to come back to himself. Aided by the sight of you between his legs, wicked grin curling your otherworldly features as you ran a long, split tongue over the curve of his cock, tasting him.

"Fuck!" He shouted, hips flexing against the hold you had on them, though he was no match for your strength. His hands scrabbled uselessly at the floor beneath him, heaving out soft, gasping breaths. "Fuck fuck fuck, darling- darling, please," he sobbed, high and breathy. You hummed softly and wrapped your lips around his dripping tip. Mindful of your fangs, you hollowed your cheeks, tongue flicking at the sensitive spot just under the head that had his toes curling. He fell back on his forearms, head dropping and baring his throat, bringing the bite mark on the curve of his neck out in stark relief. "Darling, I- darling, I can't, I can't- please," he huffed, voice edged with a whine.

"You can," you rumbled lowly, already knowing what he was whining for and wrapping your fingers around the base of him tightly. Squeezing, cutting off the orgasm threatening his sanity as he sobbed above you. "And you will. I want you crying with how badly you need it, and I won't settle for less." And with that, you set back to your task, lapping at the precum beading along his slit.

Ford moaned above you, sagging back against the floor. He knew there was no dissuading you. He'd seen that feral little glimmer in your eye enough times to know that. And you always kept an ear out for the safeword, but it never came. Only his desperate moans and whines of your name, pleas for your touch. You used the flexibility of your tongue to your advantage, widening your jaw to allow the split muscles to wrap around the shaft of his cock as you kept your lips around the head. Ford jerked under you, unable to get far with you, pinning his hips. But you felt his muscles tense and bunch beneath your touch. He brought his hands down to tangle in your hair, and you hummed around him, pleased. You brought him to the edge and back, over and over, just like this. You didn't have to wait long for him to break.

"Fuck, fuck please darling, please please I need it, need you now, I- I can't-" he cut himself off with a desperate sob, and you glanced up at him through your lashes. The sight of him was breathtaking. Cheeks red, eyes dazed and glossy with tears as his mouth hung open, moans pouring out freely. It pleased you in a vicious, primal way. You pulled off of him with an obscene pop! All but prowling your way back over him, until you were able to slot your dripping cunt over his cock. His hand immediately went to your hips, squeezing and moaning.

"Darling, please," he panted, then groaned when you rolled your hips. A moan pagted your own, and, like that one noise had broken the floodgates, you couldn't stop more from pouring out. You kept up your steady rocking, unable to stop as the desperate, clawing need you felt for him built higher and higher. He sat up abruptly, one hand supporting himself and the other wrapped around your neck, tugging you forward as his knees came up to support your back, giving you further leverage. "I need to be inside you like I need to breathe, fuck, please. Please, I- shit, I can feel how fucking wet you are, let me take care of you? Please? Use me, use me however you need to, I'm yours." He panted the words against your open mouth and you could taste the desperation in them.

Nodding, unable to find your voice, you lifted yourself up on your knees. Taking him in hand, you lined him at your entrance and sank down in one smooth glide to the hilt. You moaned in unison, and Ford pressed forward until he had you beneath him. Your knees hooked over his shoulder as he pressed down, down, down into a filthy mating press, and waited. You flashed a filthy, fanged grin. Even now, when he had you pinned beneath him and your needy cunt clenching around him, he knew who was in charge.

"Well? What're you waiting for? Be a good puppy and breed me."

This is an interaction that kept playing in my head. Last night, when I should have been doing other things, I caved in and scratched this up so it existed. I have a soft spot for mabel and therapy bill being buddies :')