Due To This Post Alone I Have Come To The Conclusion That Mr. Beast Is Actually An Avatar Of The Corruption

my favorite somewhat underrated jarchivist moments

“a COMPLAINT? i could just as easily COMPLAIN about her WASTING MY TIME”

“before i address the central point of this statement, namely the question of…. whether the sky can eat people .”

melanie: “i should have known this was a COMPLETE waste of my time” jon: “probably 🙄”

“you don’t seem like you’re in your fifties?? or- or burnt to a crisp”

“you’re serious? you’re going on a date with… the dullard of skull mountain just so you have an excuse to eat a shopska salad?”

“another startling insight from the piercing investigative mind of georgie barker”

“WHAT is my metaphorical pit???”

melanie: “i mean it’s not like you have any reason to kill me” jon: noncommittal sound

martin: “melanie seems okay but i get the feeling she’s planning something?” jon: “i- i got that feeling. Too.”

“so. kidnapped. Again.”

“like colors, but if colors hated me. got it. christ i need a cigarette.”

“MARTIN. STOP trying to TOUCH the PLASTIC EXPLOSIVE. just PUT YOUR HANDS in YOUR POCKETS or SOMETHING-”

basira: “so would you say this was supposed to be churchill or alfred hitchcock?” jon: “jowls like that, could be either”

“coma! great! let’s rearrange his office! sleeping people don’t need. pens!”

“police brutality lawsuit? :)”

[picture of edwardian offense] “I what?”

daisy: “it’s a joke, jon.” jon: “oh! hAha! yes.”

“i mean you’re not suggesting that santa works for the people’s church..”

long-suffering sigh “fuck.”

“i’m starting to feel a little. Self Conscious being a post apocalyptic google !”

martin: “did it stir any feeling in you?” jon: “Yes! Nausea! Because of the Horrible Things In It!”

“Yes the Colossal Web stretching down into an Endless Pit is a Significant improvement😑”

“‘free will’ she says, as we stand in the middle of her FUCKING WEB”

Sorry for getting physically ill over insane and pathetic queer men it will be happening so many more times

I made the distortion hallway!

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my dealer: got some straight gas. this strain is called "the black box" youll be deep inside your mind

Me: yeah fuck you and fuck your train. i dont feel shit.

1 hour later: dude I swear the walls are beginning to tear. No not the walls of the train those of our false and hollow reality.

my buddy Lyfrassir, pacing: The recordings are clear now. I can see everything.

My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

bonus:

I swear Colin is just speed running Jon's arc from Magnus Archives. In less then a season he's gone from being the grouchy Co worker, to incredibly paranoid, to foolishy smashing haunted objects. If he hasn't become God by the end of this season I'm going to be very disappointed

Gwen "tehehehe😁 😈🍷🥂🍾😈😁"

The rest of the cast "oh God oh God oh dear oh no oh God oh no oh fuck oh jeeze oh dear oh fuck"

Boom. It’s cat jmart.