★The Little Ordinary Things That Everyone Ought To Do★

to everyone who is alone, merry christmas 🎄❤️

Father Mulcahy - Conflictions and Confessions

Fandom: M*A*S*H (show) Pairing: Father Mulcahy x gender neutral reader Requested by @inlovewithmulcahy​: something with reader and Mulcahy would be great.. I guess like something with a dancing, kissing, cuddling etc. Very sensory driven? Maybe some confessions of love (and if you’re comfortable then turn up the heat with light NSFW?) Word count: 1028 Notes: This is my first imagine for M*A*S*H and my first time writing for Father Mulcahy. This isn’t meant to offend anyone who is of Catholic belief. I understand that generally priests do not have relationships, but this is only fiction. I hope you enjoy!

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You swayed slowly to the grainy-sounding song playing on the jukebox in the officer’s club. Your arms were wrapped loosely around Father Mulcahy’s neck, and his were around your waist. His hands were firmly rest on the small of your back, never straying or going any lower. Your head was on his shoulder; his leaned against yours softly. You could feel his crucifix necklace against your chest, and you felt his breathing on your neck.

It had been a very long week. There had been tons of casualties and one day the compound had been shelled. Luckily, no one had been injured but it caused a great deal of fear and tension. It was quiet now, though, and you and Father Mulcahy were relishing in it. Almost everyone else had left the club, for it was late and everyone was exhausted from such a long week. The only other people in the place were Hawkeye, Lieutenant Baker, and Klinger who was manning the bar. But you and Father Mulcahy just wanted to spend as much time with each other as you could before things picked up again.

You sighed slowly. “I wish we could have more moments like this.”

“As do I,” he replied. “But I am grateful for the moments we do have.”

You smiled. “Me too. Especially after this week.”

He nodded. “The Lord knew what we needed.”

“Thank him for me next time you see him,” you said half-jokingly.

You felt a laugh rumble through Father Mulcahy’s chest. “I’ll try to remember.”

“Keep room for Jesus, you two,” Hawkeye teased, moving closer to the two of you with Baker practically attached to his hip. They, too, were dancing, though they were pressed more firmly against each other than you and the Father.

You rolled your eyes playfully at Hawkeye who just grinned.

“There is always room for Him if you let there be,” Father Mulcahy said, though he did move back slightly. You knew it was conflicting for him to be so close to your physically and follow his beliefs. You never pushed him or did anything he wasn’t comfortable with. It was confusing enough for him as it was without you putting any kind of pressure onto him. You were just happy to spend time with him in whatever ways he felt most comfortable with.

“Well said, Father,” Hawkeye replied.

You pulled back fully and untangled your arms from his neck. “It’s late. I should probably get some sleep. Will you walk me back to my tent?”

“Of course, my dear,” Father Mulcahy said with a smile. He removed his arms from your waist and nodded at Hawkeye. “Goodnight Hawkeye. Lieutenant.”

“Night Father, night Y/N,” Hawkeye said. He smiled. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

You smiled and saw Father Mulcahy’s cheeks redden.

He led you through the camp, hand gently rested on the small of your back. You two walked in silence, just enjoying the quiet of the night.

“Well,” you said as you approached your tent, “this is my stop.”

Father Mulcahy smiled. “Goodnight, Y/N. Thank you for tonight.”

“It was my pleasure,” you said with a grin. “I’ll meet you in the mess tent for breakfast?”

He nodded. “I’ll see you then.”

You leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. You felt his cheek muscles tighten with a smile. “Do you want to come in for a bit?”

He hesitated. He frowned with thought, then said, “Well, perhaps for a little while.”

You smiled widely and opened the door to your tent. You shucked off your shoes and sat on your cot. “Make yourself at home.”

Father Mulcahy smiled softly and sat beside you on the bed.

“Just so you know, I’m not expecting or thinking about anything other than just hanging out,” you told him.

“I appreciate that,” he said with a nod. “But perhaps… we could lie in the bed together?”

A grin broke out across your face. “I’d love that.”

You two lay down and Father Mulcahy wrapped his arms around you, awkwardly at first but once you nuzzled against his chest he relaxed. You listened to his heartbeat, the sound calming your mind and your body.

You sighed in content. “You know, maybe the only good thing about this war has been meeting you.”

“I have felt the same way about you.” He gently ran his fingers up and down your bicep. “The connections and relationships we’ve made here will always be something I cherish. But what I have with you… is something I have never felt. I never thought I would ever feel like this.”

You smiled softly. “I know how confusing it must be, being a priest and all.”

“Yes,” he admitted slowly. “But these are trying times, and I… hope the Lord will forgive me.”

“Being close with someone shouldn’t be a sin,” you said gently. “But I know that you will be forgiven.”

“Thank you. I apologize if my confliction ever causes you discomfort.”

You shook your head. “You don’t have to apologize. I knew what I signed up for when I started having feelings for a priest,” you said with a small laugh.

Father Mulcahy smiled. “Y/N, may I confess something to you?”

“But I thought you were the priest,” you joked.

He laughed. “Even we need someone to confess to every now and then.”

“You can tell me anything,” you said, moving to prop yourself up on your elbows.

He looked at you nervously. “I think… I might be falling in love with you.”

Your eyes widened and your heart skipped a beat. You stared at him with your mouth open slightly for a good minute while he looked at you anxious for a response.

“I… I think I’m falling in love with you, too,” you replied, smiling widely at him.

“Really?” he asked, a smile spreading on his face.

You nodded.

“Well, then, may I kiss you?” he asked meekly.

You placed a hand on his cheek gently. “Please.”

His gaze moved from your lips up to your eyes. When he met your gaze, you both smiled. He leaned in, softly pressing his lips against yours.

  ── ❝ It’s You, Because No One Else Makes Sense❞ ──

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       ✫彡Genre/Prompt: Fluff/Fluff Alphabet

       ✫彡Pairing: Weyoun x (Gender Neutral) Reader

       ✫彡Word Count: Idk man, a lot

       ✫彡A/N: Mentions of trauma, etc. (y/f/c)=Your favourite character

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A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

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With defection came a wide plethora of new foods, ideas, and things to explore for the Vorta. And Weyoun wants to explore every single one with the one he love most: you. 

A few of his favourite activities to indulge in include watching films and trying out new culinary delights. He, of course, has no sense of aesthetic, but with your help he begins to finally understand the simple pleasures in life. 

If anything, when it comes to films, he enjoys analyzing the character’s behaviour so that he can apply his newly gained knowledge to those around him. Whether it has any real life application and truth is something that he will happily figure out through trial and error. 

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B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

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If something is perfect, can someone really pick an aspect to favor over all the others? That’s how Weyoun views it at least. So why should you be any different?

To Weyoun, every aspect of you was sculpted by the Founders; there was not one part of you that was less than perfect and Weyoun intended to prove that point every day. 

Despite that though, Weyoun has a strange interest in your eyes. He read somewhere that the eyes were the gateway to the soul, and to know that he can access the depths of your inner psyche just by gazing into your eyes intrigues him more than anything else has. If your soul was anywhere near as beautiful as your eyes, Weyoun swears that he would fall even more in love with you.

Oddly enough, he is also particularly found of your arms. He knows it’s a weird thing to focus on, but the way in which you wrap them around him makes him feel like the safest person in the galaxy. Especially when his fears begin to dominate his thoughts.

Mentally, he appreciates your compassion and honesty. Before you, he had only encountered those who had their minds made up on how they felt about him. No one tried to get to know the real him and had attempted to look past the responsibilities the dominion had thrust upon him even less. When you came around though, he finally got to experience what it was like for a person to care for and appreciate even the smallest aspects of himself.

And to be cared for and loved in such a genuine way for the first time is one of the most emotional things to a love-starved person. 

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C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

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Anytime you feel burdened by an issue, Weyoun is by your side in an instant. He knows how it feels to be unappreciated and unloved so, if that's something you've been struggling with, he is more than happy to sit down with you and silence those fears. 

Working to make sure you know how much of a priority you are to him is as vital as breathing in his books.

If you have a day where you feel more depressed and apathetic, he has no issue laying with you and taking care of the aspects you feel like you can't deal with. Even if that means calling in sick for you, cancelling both of your appointments, or just helping you bathe.

Being skilled in the art of diplomacy, as well as being educated on all sorts of human issues, Weyoun knows how to deal with everything in a timely and efficient manner; especially when it comes to people. So if it’s an interpersonal issue you’ve been dealing with, he is more than glad to take the reigns and deal with people for you. 

Overall, he can't stand seeing you in pain of any kind. 

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D reams -  How do they picture their future with their s/o?

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Before defecting, Weyoun knew that there was little point in dreaming up a future with you. Although you liked his company, you did not like the company he hung around. And that was something that he knew would keep the two of you apart.

After defecting, he let his inner fantasies run wild. The more he learned about you, your culture, and everything else about you that he could get his hands on, the more he wants to be like the things you love. Anything as long as it meant he could be with you. 

There’s little that he doesn’t want to do with you actually. Get Married? Already bought the ring. Have a child? Don’t even mention it, he’s got time set aside or adoption papers ready as you speak. Up and run away to live a peaceful life by yourselves? The escape pod is ready darling...

All in all, Weyoun just wants to be there for and with you. So your future together is just based on what you and him are most comfortable with; which is usually something of your choice.

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E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or are they rather passive?

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Ever since he defected from the dominion, Weyoun has had a tad bit of trouble being dominant over someone he respects so highly. With those he considered beneath him, it was easy to be dominant. But with someone he loved and basically worshipped? He could never.

He is excessively submissive in a relationship, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. To you, this is a fantastic opportunity to shower him in affection, praise him, and let him heal from the horrific treatment he received at the hands of his 'Gods.' 

It may be a lot different than what he is used to, but after he gets the general feel of it everything clicks into place. 

Only after developing trust in your relationship will he begin to show his newly developed dominant side towards you. And let's be honest, we all liiivvee for dominant Weyoun 😩👏👏

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F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How is their fighting?

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True to his nature and profession, Weyoun is undoubtedly good at defusing situations; your fights being one of them. Though, that also means you two end up having a shockingly small amount of ‘fights’ over the period of your relationship. 

With your sympathetic and compassionate nature, as well as his diplomatic skills, you two have an effortless system devised in order to get to the root of every issue that ends up popping up.

Much like how he was to the founders and his ‘superiors,’ Weyoun is almost too willing to forgive your slip ups and mistakes made against him. And, although this may seem nice, the fact that he accepts any unwarranted judgment towards himself really concerns you. Just like many other traumas from his past, you are trying to help him move past and heal from certain experiences that make him feel inferior and unworthy.

If you two somehow did end up getting into a fight, he is somewhat ruthless with his words. When he reverts back to his old ways to comfort himself, he ends up being cold and calculating; putting himself in a better position so that he can feel safe and keep you at bay. When you both finally realize why he does this, you both make an attempt to heal the trauma and move on. 

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G ratitude - How grateful are they they in general? Are they aware of what there s/o is doing for them?

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Being a born diplomat, he is naturally grateful. He understands the effort and care you put behind things, so he has no qualms with expressing his gratitude towards such efforts. 

Given the fact that he has had to be on the look out for everything his ‘enemies’ did, as well as anything that would make the ‘gods’ upset, he notices every little detail you put into things. This is especially true when it comes to you guys’ relationship; he knows how hard you work to help him heal, and he puts in just as much effort for you day in and day out.

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H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything? 

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Besides the secrets he has to keep for work and other people, Weyoun keeps an open and honest stream of communication between you two. He knows how vital knowledge can be when trying to achieve a goal. Especially when that goal is love. And, in order to experience everything that love has to offer, one lesson he is forced to learn is that of mutual trust.

Quid Pro Quo essentially. 

If you are willing to be vulnerable and trust him, why shouldn’t he be the same way?

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I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

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Being honest, you and Weyoun have both learned something from being in a relationship together. 

For Weyoun, he learned the importance of vulnerability and how not everyone has negative intentions towards him; he can make friends with people AND receive things in return without having to give back. For him, anything foreign was not to be trusted. Everyone had negative intentions and didn’t realllyyy like him. But after you two got together, he learned to heal from those emotional wounds and learned about parts of himself that he never would have under the Dominion. 

On top of that, he learned to let loose and have fun with the things he experiences. Instead of always looking for the practical use of things and attempting to be productive, Weyoun begins to take his time and relax. Something he has, admittedly, never done before. 

On your part, Weyoun was taught you a lot about self-discipline and charisma. He taught you how to not only handle your emotions, but the emotions of those around you. And while others have picked up on the weird, but not entirely unwelcome change in you, they refrain from bringing it up. Especially when there’s a suspiciously intense Vorta breathing down their neck every time they do.

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J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

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Keeping you guys’ relationship a secret came with a lot of things. One of the main ones is having other people hit on you. CONSTANTLY. And while he too appreciates your beauty and personality, he feels as though he is the only one that should be graced with all the secret and vulnerable parts of you. Only he can be with you and know you on an intimate level.

So imagine how awful it felt when he learned that you had friends. The kind that you told loved and respected as well. Oh the humanity; boy is devastated.

Being serious though, he hides his jealousy very well. At first it wasn’t an emotion that he could pinpoint very well; he knew he was upset, he just didn’t know the reason why. 

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K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

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Weyoun is a fantastic kisser. Cannot. Stress. This. Enough. Man’s calculated, educated, precise, and adaptable. Of course he’s gonna pick up on all the little mannerisms you enjoy and prefer. Being honest, Weyoun probably does a plethora of research before you two have your first kiss so that he doesn’t disappoint you. The Vorta have no use for physical affection, so things like this, at first, are very confusing to him. Until he gives it a shot and learns about the benefits of it he’s probably hesitant to try things out with you.

His first kiss with you probably looked something like this:

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L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

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I feel as though Weyoun would really go all out for his confession, but like, in a very subtle way. Weyoun has no prior experience with being in a relationship, so naturally he has to do some research. Especially when he isn’t even sure what emotions he’s beginning to feel towards you.

At first he began to look for signs that you could possibly like him back. Flushed cheeks, nervous tone of voice, longing glances thrown his way, seeming too interested in your conversations and time spent together, literally anything. If you didn’t, then what was the point in wasting time admitting his feelings? Better to avoid it entirely than get outright rejected...

If you do show signs of having feelings towards him he begins to plan his next move: confessing. 

In order to achieve the best possible result, Weyoun researches everything he can on your interests and preferences. He picks the perfect date location, best food options, and even wears cologne that meets your scent preference. Then, he casually asks you if you want to spend sometime together and lets the night unravel itself; everything calculated, but not outright obvious.

When the night hits its peak, he begins to reveal all the emotions that he’s been developing towards you. He explains what drew him to you, how you’ve changed him, and how excited he’s become to move on from his previous lives. All because of your presence in his life.

It shocks you, no doubt, but you can’t help but believe him when he says:

“It’s you, because no one else makes sense. Whenever we’re together, the struggles become worth it and I find that I can only make it through the day when you’re around.”

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M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

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To Weyoun, being able to legitimize your union and show the universe just how dedicated you are to each other would be an absolute dream. Despite his apprehensiveness about it.

Once he learns to trust you fully (which will take a significant amount of time) the first thing he wants to do is ask you to marry him. Since he doesn't have any real friends, and even less people like him, you two have a small wedding on a friendly planet close to Deep Space Nine. You end up having (y/f/c) be your (person) of honour while he has Keevan be his best man. Along with what little company you two have, you both enjoy yourselves to the best of your abilities; having your ceremony, sharing the food you love, and exploring the woodland region you two got married in.

He doesn’t have any traditional clothing to wear from his home planet, so he gets Garak to tailor a purple suit to match nicely with your lilac wedding dress/purple suit. 

Something like this:

Overall, you both have a wonderful day and even better night.

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N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

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Since Weyoun isn’t accustomed to the many nicknames those in the Alpha Quadrant use, he uses those from his own tongue. His favourites include waiyau/waiyauta and zhimata because they’re straight to the point. He knows that no one else aboard Deep Space 9 understands Dominionese, so being able to reveal that you’re his partner and lover in an indirect manner feels amazing to him. If anything, it’s the only way that he can openly admit you’re in a relationship. 

But if anyone asks what it means he just says it’s a term of respect. Nothing too suspicious.

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O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

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When he’s in love, Weyoun doesn’t seem so intimidating. As much as he would like to admit differently, Weyoun is a die-hard romantic. Instead of breezing by stores in boredom like he used to he now stops to peruse their inventory; hoping to find something that you might like. 

Ever since you came into his life Weyoun began to slowly loose the facade that he had previously held together so efficiently. People begin to notice him becoming less focused on manipulating them and more interested in seeing things from their point of view. This boosts his popularity with other people, but also makes their suspicion double. It isn’t until people start realising that he’s in a relationship that they slowly start trusting him.

With you, Weyoun is more carefree and curious. He is free to explore ideas previously foreign to him and feels safe enough to voice opinions that would have been deadly to reveal in a past life.

Weyoun expresses his love in every form possible: written word, physical touch, kind and loving words, and small, but meaningful actions. It provides a welcoming distraction to his hectic life and makes him content, aware that his actions will bring you immense joy.

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P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

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Given his past and current occupation, Weyoun is reluctant to release the status of your relationship to the public. His natural possessive instinct wants to show everyone that you are his and no one else's, but reality prevents him from doing this. If one of the countless enemies he made over the course of his lives decided that they wanted to seek revenge on him, what’s stopping them from using you as leverage?

As strong as he knows he is, seeing you get hurt would break him. Which is why he tries so hard to keep your relationship private. 

‘What other’s don’t know won’t hurt him’ is something that he lives by.

He is, by no means, shy to show you the affection you deserve, but he is scared of the repercussions it may have. So, instead, he does small things to show that he cares.

A smile when your glances meet across the room, a hand on the small of your back when he manoeuvres around you, pulling you into a dark corner to sneak a kiss- y’know, small things.

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Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship

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Weyoun is very direct and calculated with everything that he does, so your relationship is no different. His directness and decision making abilities aid in the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of you guys’ relationship; making it so that you two never get bored, upset, or unsatisfied. 

The conversations that you two have are heartfelt, interesting, and always honest. He never wants you to keep secrets from him, so why would he keep secrets from you?

Additionally, with him knowing almost everything about anything, he knows all the best places for you guys’ dates as well as the best locations to purchase things from. Which saves you both time and money in the long run (yet another important aspect of a relationship)

And when it comes to getting physical....well, at least you can rest easy knowing all your needs will be satisfied- in the best way possible.

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R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative? 

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There’s no doubt that Weyoun is one charismatic Vorta. He was a diplomat for a reason y’know. 

The man oozes a suave persona. (Albeit an infuriating one) But it’s one that captures your attention and keeps it over a long period of time. He knows just enough psychological techniques to keep you interested, and is unique enough to get you to keep coming back. And though he may not be an expert when it comes to being in a relationship, the little eccentricities he elicits from you by just being himself brings you back to a time where you were free to be your authentic self. Which is something that is far more lovely than a bouquet of flowers.

(Which is something that he also get you a lot of. what can he say though, you can’t beat the classics)

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S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

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If there is one thing that Weyoun respects, it’s ambition. While in the Dominion, Weyoun was exposed to some of the most driven and ambitious people in the galaxy. They had a goal and would do anything to achieve it. 

So if you have goals that you are set on achieving, he is all for helping and supporting you. Even if it means manipulating the system and the people in it to get you there faster.

He just wants to see his lover live their best life :)

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T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

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Weyoun, to a fault, is a man of deep caution and habit. Although he gives off the initial impression of being a people pleaser, Weyoun is actually very sceptical of anything that messes with the status quo. Especially when it comes to being vulnerable with another person. 

That being said, Weyoun does not require anything new to happen in your relationship to be satisfied with it, but isn’t entirely opposed to any ideas you come up with. You just need to work your way to those ideas in a slow and calculated manner.

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U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

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With the amount of lifetimes he had to live, added onto the importance of his job, Weyoun had developed an impressive memory. Which definitely came in handy in you guys’ relationship. 

Important dates? Memorised and planned for accordingly every year. Preferred love language? Picked up on and provided 24/7. Favourite foods? Given to you often and bought frequently. Having a bad day? Immediately sensed and dealt with with care. 

In summary, this man has the ability to not only the perfect companion and employee, but lover as well. 

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V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

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Having been in no relationships before you, Weyoun puts careful consideration into who he gets involved in. And, as a result of that, he holds his relationships in high regard. You have been with him for as far back as he can remember after boarding Deep Space Nine for the first time. Something that he does not take for granted. 

Before defecting, he respected and valued you as much as an associate could. After defecting though, he began to realize that his feelings were much more than just respect and admiration. Instead, he finds that he cannot get through most days without hearing your voice or seeing your face. All in all, your relationship becomes one of the most important things in his life. Even if he’s dying, the only thing that’s on his mind is you. Not his general safety or if he’s gonna be okay, but YOU.

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X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

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When it comes to public displays of affection, Weyoun is 50/50. If you two are in a relatively private area, he is all for slipping his palm into yours; caressing it while he thinks up strategies for new projects and assignments. Affection and flattery is one of his many skills- something that he prides himself for with you. When it comes to public areas though, he is somewhat hesitant. He has made a plethora of enemies through his various lives and it has made him cautious. There is no way to know if they will come after you, but all he knows is that he isn’t willing to take any unnecessary chances. 

With friends and acquaintances around though, he is slightly less afraid to praise you and show small bouts of physical affection. 

When alone, he gives one-hundred percent in affection. Curling up next to you, cuddling, holding hands, running his fingers through your hair, rubbing your back, literally no form of physical affection is left undone by this man.

His favourite way to show his love though, is cuddling. And while he claims to prefer being the big spoon we all know this man would absolutely melt if you held him.

His favourite position would have to be this one though:

He just feels so loved and appreciated- as if he is finally safe after all the years of stress and paranoia.

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Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

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Although he can maintain a very convincing facade, Weyoun has his occasional slip ups. Which surprises a large sum of people when it happens.

From the time he was still under Dominion rule to the time that he defected, you remained, unwaveringly, by his side. And when that sense of security and stability is taken away, he tended to get excessively antsy. 

To cope, he reminisces over the photos and videos you took together and by calling you whenever you are able. 

The poor boy just misses you so much and mopes around your shared quarters until you return. 

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Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

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Once given a chance to experience what being in a real, healthy relationship is like, Weyoun would not be that willing to give it up. Give you up. He’s lied, cheated, manipulated, and killed for less. So imagine what he’s like for the person that he’d risk dying for?

All in all, there are no depths that Weyoun wouldn’t stoop to in order to maintain your relationship together. Nothing left to say.

Kettleburn striding into the Hogwarts staff room: “For completely hypothetical reasons that bare no relation to any real life events, how would you react if i were to tell you that there might be a Chimaera loose in Hogwarts?”

Every member of Staff who’s known Kettleburn for more than 2 minutes:

Lucky Love (1/3)

Pairing: Cedric the Sorcerer x Alchemist! Reader

Word Count: Roughly  words

Warnings: Mental health mention 

Notes: Oof, this took longer than I thought it would; sorry about that. I ended up making this into a three part series in order to pan out the story with a tad more detail, so more chapters will be posted soon! Hope you guys like it :) Feedback and requests are always welcomed <3 This ones for my boi @queen-of-british-tea !!!

“The secrets of alchemy exist to transform mortals from a state of suffering and ignorance to a state of enlightenment and bliss.”

― Deepak Chopra

“He wishes he were a skilled poet, it would fit his chosen image perfectly; the poor, tragic, tortured artiste. But he has no talent for words, neither for paints nor music; his uselessness is tremendously total.”

― Curtis Ackie

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Being born the daughter of Master Erwin, there was never a doubt that your destiny would be written in the stars. His blatant adoration for the universe beyond Earth’s doorstep had been clear to you from an early age and, given you were his only child, he desired nothing more than to pass all of his knowledge down to you. 

The only issue that arose with that desire was that your focus wasn’t entirely directed towards space; your ambitions were more...Earth-based. 

Completely unbothered by this fact though, your father set out on a journey to find the most fitting subject he could study with you. Because, in his eyes, your interests were his interests; and having a relationship with his daughter was far more important than any of the mysteries the vast and never-ending universe could hold. 

The search didn’t take as long as he expected though, because your likes and dislikes fit surprisingly well with a subject he was very familiar with in his schoolboy years: Alchemy. 

By interpretation, Alchemy is a “sort of terrestrial astronomy” that deals with all sorts of human and worldly aspects. Which fit both of your interests to a “T,” thankfully.

When that was decided, he began to introduce you to the magical world of alchemy and what it entailed. Each day he would offer new texts on Alchemy, Magic, and the universe as well as provide fresh insights on the universe’s effects on the human body. What filled you with the most intrigue though, was how you could use the items the world offered you in order to heal, change, and create other living organisms. So much so that you ended up working together to create a spell and potion that turns rocks into ravens.

Sadly, your passion for contributing to the world around you was so blinding that you completely forgot about how you would go about implementing that knowledge and passion.

That is, until you had been told you were to be sent off to a real academy by your mother. The one place you did not want to end up going.

That fact had left you slightly heartbroken since you could no longer spend your days endlessly pouring into Alchemical books and having passionate discussions with your father, but excited you with the prospect of a proper education…….One where you would have to attend a school that had none of your friends. One where you would have to spend all of your days and nights toiling over the assignments your teachers assigned to you. One at Hexley Hall.

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After two hours of travelling to the esteemed ‘Academy of Wizardry,’ you had begun to feel stiff and in dire need of a decent stretch. Even if it meant standing outside in the chill September wind. 

At this point though, you were willing to do anything to rid your body of its mental and physical stress. Up until now, the only thing that kept you distracted from the bile your anxiety had been threatening to dispel from your body was reading the book your father gave you: “Distilling Nature’s Secrets: The Sacred Art of Alchemy.” But you had already finished that in the first hour of the ride and were now left with the gnawing feeling of dread that came with being thrown into an unfamiliar environment; one where you wouldn’t have the comforting words of your father to calm you down.

Before you could drive yourself further into a sense of dread, the sight of a tower looming over a hill stole all of your attention.

Pulling yourself to the carriage’s window, you saw the place that you would be spending the rest of your childhood at: Hexley Hall. 

The school that would teach you everything you wanted to know about the ancient art of alchemy. 

Its windows glistened with evening dew and its structure held a contrast you were not familiar with until now. Growing up in Enchancia’s castle, you had only known modern, sleek, and upbeat architecture. Hexley Hall though, defied all of those tropes. It possessed intricate designs, a soulfully picturesque look, and an eerie aesthetic. One that you felt you could get used to. Especially if the inside held a matching look.

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After making a swift landing, you thanked your coachman, acquired your luggage, and began to make your way towards the crowd of fellow newcomers. 

The entire entrance to the school was bustling with excited new students, and their confused glances and demeanors were beginning to ease your anxious mind. Maybe everyone else was as 'in the dark' as you were...Maybe you weren’t alone in your strife.

That discombobulation you all possessed didn’t last long though, and soon enough you were all ushered in by what seemed to be one of the teachers. After being brought into the Great Hall for a brief rundown of how the school worked and who would be teaching you all, schedules were floated to their respective owners and maps of the school were provided to each student. 

Looking down at the map, each child had a glowing mark on where their assigned dorm was located. Ironically enough, yours was in the area dedicated to potioneers, alchemists, and other magicians dedicated to the physical arts. 

Dinner commenced shortly after introductions were made and, after a bout of awkward shuffling, you found a quiet location to eat and began your trek to your new dormitory.

By chanting a wandless spell to the map, an arrow led to your room where you began to unpack. 

Given you didn’t bring many items besides books and clothes, you quickly laid yourself down on the comfortable mattress and ran through the events of the day. Although you still hadn't met any friends yet, you did gain insight into the place you'd be spending the rest of your teenage life at.

Putting aside those thoughts, you curled around your pillow and fell into a blissful sleep. 

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Schedule: Year One- Semester One

Student: (y/n) Erwin

Study: Alchemy

Study Order

Breakfast

Class One: Potions

Class Two: Intro to Alchemy: The People, The Places, and The Items

Class Three: Intro to Magic: Wands and Guidelines

Class Four: Gnosticism, Occultism, and Esoteric Beliefs

Lunch

Class Five: Magical Creatures and The Human Spirit

Dinner

Looks about right, you thought to yourself as you made your way down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Although you would have preferred Alchemy as the starting class of your day, potions was definitely a good choice as well. 

What bothered you more than the order or your classes though, was who would have to interact with during these assigned classes. 

But that’s a problem for later, you thought to yourself as you devoured the first of many breakfasts at the Wizarding School of Enchancia. 

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Being the first person to class, you had the advantage of picking the best seat in the classroom. At least, that was what you hoped to happen until a mop of multi colored hair caught your eye. 

Although you didn’t mind the place he had sat in before you could choose, he was sitting in the spot next to the one you DID prefer. 

that doesn’t matter you thought, maybe he could be my first friend….He couldn’t be that bad could he?

You decided to try your luck and hesitantly tapped the young boy's right shoulder. Whipping his head around he gave you a questioning look that you assumed meant: "??? Can I help you?"

"Do you mind if I sit next to you? I like the feel of this corner and you don't look half as bad as the rest of our class."

His startled, yet hopeful, look gave you the impression he didn't get approached much. Let alone get told that he looked welcoming. 

Despite that though, his face softened and he said, 

"Really?....I suppose I don't mind." 

He cautiously lifted his palm to you and said, "My names Cedric. I'm coming here to become the next Royal Sorcerer. What about you?"

With a firm grip, you shook his hand and settled down into your seat. Taking out your schedule you replied, "(y/n) Erwin! I'm studying to become the Royal Alchemist!"

Gripping your chin with an inquisitive look, you added a quick, "You wouldn't happen to be related to Goodwyn the Great would you? I thought I recognized you at first, but I couldn't quite place from where…."

"Uhm….Yeah, I am. D-did you live at the castle as well?"

You fiddled with your papers until they were straightened properly and looked at him, saying, "Yep. My dad's the Royal Astronomer, so we get to live with him at the castle…..I've seen you around you know….I always meant to say hi, but your dad and sister seemed to take up most of your time."

He rubbed his wrists anxiously and let out a, "yeah, they tend to do that…...but I digress. Do wanna compare schedules? I don't have any friends either, and you don't seem that bad as well…."

Looking down at the schedule he gripped in his hand, you noticed that it didn't seem so far off from yours. You were both new to the school after all, so it made a tad bit of sense. Luckily you wouldn't have to split up very much for the next couple of years.

Schedule: Year One- Semester One

Student: Cedric Goodwyn

Study: Sorcery

Study Order

Breakfast

Class One: Potions

Class Two: Intro to Alchemy: The People, The Places, and The Items

Class Three: Intro to Magic: Wands and Guidelines

Class Four: Intro to Magic: Practice

Lunch

Class Five: Magical Creatures and The Human Spirit

Dinner

Surprisingly, it seemed as though you would be seeing a lot of each other. Which didn't seem to bother either of you that much. After confirming your new friendship and planning your day out together, you both set up your supplies and began your first class of the day.

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After cleaning up your respective area of the shared potions table, you reminisced on how well the class had actually gone. Despite both of you being new, you and Cedric seemed to work in a sort of synchronized state. Even your teacher pointed out how good you two were together. This had made you both proud, but you noticed that it had made Cedric especially happy. 

Given the way that he had acted and responded to your questions, you inferred that his home life…..probably wasn't that great. Especially if the tiniest amount of praise made his day ten times brighter.

Which is why you had made a vow to yourself that you would do everything in your power to make him realize his self worth. After all, not everyone had a supportive father and family like you did. 

Picking up the last of your mess, you threw your bag over your robbed shoulder and asked, “Would you mind if I sat with you in our other classes as well today? I’m not really…..friends with anyone else here yet and we seem to make a good team. Plus, you seem really sweet.”

“I’d love to!,” he said in an excitable raised voice. His face broke out in a flustered blush at how desperate he sounded and quickly let out a, “I mean, if that’s what you want to do…”

To that, you chuckled and lightly punched his shoulder saying, “Of course I would you dork. Now let's hurry up so we can get the best seats in our next class."

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After that day, the two of you were like two peas in a pod. Whenever you both had a class, were going somewhere, or ate, you were attached to the hip. Even teachers knew that, if they couldn’t find one of you, they wouldn’t find the other either as well. 

For you two, there was never a subject left unstudied, never a prank left undone, and never a conversation left undiscussed.

It started off with you both teaming up in your shared classes, meeting for meals, and talking on the way to class, but soon branched off outside of school. 

With coaching from you, and years of positive reinforcement on your end, Cedric had been coaxed out of his hesitant and neglected shell. All it took was one fond look and a caress of his hair from you and Cedric was turned into mush. The love you showed him through the years made him see that not everyone was out to get him. And not everyone was untrustworthy. 

In summary, you brought hope in humanity back into his life. Something that he surely would have gone off the deep-end without.

To others, it seemed as though you had put him under a spell and transformed him into a new man; Cedric had never felt so confident in his life.

 Especially since he never had anyone to support him. Until you, that is……

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(Year 7 at Hexley Hall)

Flicking your wand in a cursive “J” formation, you pointed your wand at the painted black stone and whispered, “Avifors.” 

Within seconds, the rock morphed in size and began to take the shape of a sleek, black raven. 

Pecking the tip of your index finger, it cocked its head at you and turned to inspect Cedric.

Cedric, gazing back at the bird, looked absolutely stunned at the sight of this seemingly never-heard-of spell and immediately began to shift his eyes to you and then raven. He wasn’t sure where you had learned that, since you were only taking alchemy classes, but he was beyond interested in knowing.

“Merlin’s Beard! Did you make that spell up all on your own?”

“Not exactly,” you chuckled, “My father and I worked for days to come up with the correct spell and paint concoction when I was a child. But it worked out, and now I have a way to create any type of bird to do my bidding!”

Setting his chin in his palm, he began to gaze fondly at the scene in front of him and think about all the things he has yet to learn about you. 

“Would it be alright if you taught me that spell? I know it’s yours and everything….. but it’s too bloody brilliant to be left unpracticed.”

“Sure!.......I'll write it down for you by tomorrow.”

You blushed and stared down at your feet. Showing him you and your father’s spell had made you nervous at first, thinking he would find it childish compared to his studies. But his unwavering attention in it showed you that maybe it wasn’t that bad after all…..

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After that day, you knew that you were in love with Cedric. He had been with you at every step of the way through your years at Hexley Hall, and you knew that he would be there for you for days to come. Working at Enchancia’s castle wouldn’t stop the bond that you both had formed over the years. Especially since you two would be working close together. 

With each other until the end, that’s what you both had promised one another. 

‘If only it was in a romantic sense,’ you thought to yourself, gazing up at the great expanse in the night sky. 

With a huff of a laugh, you kicked the rocks in front of you. 

As if…………..

cringe compilation? no. cringe competition. and i’m winning.

Richard Hayden x Reader Playlist

Author’s Note: Just something I thought I’d throw together before posting some stuff I’ve been working on. I’ve been in kind of a writer’s block, and David Spade was the only person that could get me out of it lmao. Expect more Richard content as well as a Malcolm and Baileywick fic soon! 

Much Love :) xoxo

Superstar by Carpenters (How could I not include this???)

Back in Baby’s Arms by Patsy Cline

And I Love You So by Perry Como

Killing Me Softly With His Song by Roberta Flack

This Must Be Love by Phil Collins

Dance Me to the End of Love by Leonard Cohen

You Were Meant For Me by Jewel

I Love You Always Forever by Donna Lewis

No Myth by Michael Penn

Easy to Love by Sammy Davis Jr.

She by Charles Aznavour

Sex in the City by Hobo Johnson

Fic authors deserve more credit.

Story time: I started a book about 23 hours ago and just finished it. Also in that time I slept for 10 hours, spent time with family, was at work, etc. Anyway, I enjoyed the book (Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda). But it felt like it flew by, so after I finished I looked up the word count because what are pages? Pages are meaningless. I only function in word counts anymore.

The estimate I found was 58,580. My immediate reaction was “oh, that’s why. That’s nothing!” But what a shitty response. Because no. That’s not nothing. That’s a whole. Damn. Book. An entire novel! And Fic authors regularly bust out 30k, 50k, 100k, 150k words. AND THEY DO IT FOR FREE. WHILE WORKING AND LIVING THEIR LIVES.

So anyway, thank your favorite fic author today because they deserve it. Because they’re amazing. They’re the MVPs.