"At That Moment, I Got The Terrible Feeling That I Was Never Going To See Shinichi Again."

don't look at me with those eyes..

saying I miss a character is so funny I don't even know what I mean. I could engage with the media anytime. i could even read or even WRITE fanfic. but man. i miss the character

haibara and her ayumi shaped blind spot

tsujimura not only sharing the same name as her mother, but also her birthday. like every part of her life being a part of her mother, one way or another, she can't escape it—following her legacy, chasing to know who she was even after her death, sharing the same name, bearing her ability, one she cannot control, and her birth date. does she sometimes ponder how her mother reacted when she was born? does she think of her, too, on that day? does she wish her a happy birthday, too? how many birthdays has she spent, wishing she could spend her special day with her mother? when did she give up on that hope?

conversations in secret

now with a chapter 2 :)

Chapter 1: to be close to her is to be vulnerable

~ ♡ ~

‘Tough case, I hear.’

He sighed as he took a seat opposite the woman, and she continued to flip through the file. He had a long week, with Tsujimura constantly on his back about reports and endless case requests. 

They had a serial murder case at a Tokyo restaurant: guests had been dying mysteriously. Initial reports couldn’t find traces of any poison in any of the dishes, and combined with the fact that the guests had all previous health problems, it had been ruled out as natural causes and coincidence. However, the latest victim had ties to the government, and that meant they were called in. It turns out that the maitre d’ had been poisoning guests that looked down at him; years of anger had led him to take such drastic measures. Of course he had ended up dead at the end of it all, his prize swordfish being his undoing. 

‘Yeah, well,’ he took out his kiseru and lit it, ‘we got him in the end, so what difference does it make?’ 

After the whole Kyogoku ordeal, he had promised to visit occasionally. To keep her updated on her daughter’s situation. She seemed to look forward to their meetings; she obviously couldn’t have too many visitors. Considering she wasn’t technically alive, and even though Ayatsuji pretended it annoyed him, she knew better. 

‘I heard she threatened to quit.’

‘She does that from time to time,’ he leant back, blowing smoke, regarding the pattern on the ceiling. ‘She never has though.’

Tsujimura has her phases; he’s not sure what brings on these mood swings, but they are quite entertaining. She had accidentally fallen into the fish tank attempting to retrieve a possible piece of evidence, blaming him for not holding her. He had warned her that he had only been contracted to solve mysteries, not entertain wild goose chases. He had also apparently deliberately kept her out of his plans, leading her to once again be thrown at a wall. So still damp and in pain, she told him that if he kept up with this, she would quit.

‘I’m sure you would regret it if she actually did quit,’ she chuckled at his recollection of events. She had already read both of their reports, and Tsujimura’s one had clearly been written with bitterness, her writing looking extra scratchy when it came to his name.

‘Yes,’ he took another long drag from the pipe. ‘No one else in her department is quite so easy to control.’

She shook her head, disappointed but not surprised. She knew her daughter’s character, her stubbornness, her strengths, and her weaknesses. She could be partnered up with worse people; she knows the department is full of them.

‘And?’

He shot her a confused look, ‘And?’

‘How much longer are you going to deny it?’ She’d read about the Kyogoku incident in detail. Details that her daughter was never made aware of, like how he had made the choice to let Kyogoku go in order to save her life—of course that was before he knew the whole truth. Or how initially he had chosen her life over his. It was exasperating to watch him put on this performance of not caring.

‘Deny what?’

She shut the folder and sighed. She forgot how difficult he could be. With that sharp tongue of his, ‘Aren’t you tired of this?’

‘Again, I’m not sure what you’re talking about,’ he sat up, making eye contact with her. ‘Mizuki Tsujimura-dono.’

She shook her head, the lengths he would go just to avoid talking about things he didn’t want to. She could see why her daughter struggled to take charge of him; she was much too insecure in her own strength. And perhaps unaware of just how much power she had.

‘After everything you’ve done for her, are you still going to deny what she means to you?’

‘Ah,’ he went quiet for a second, choosing to look away. ‘You seem to forget that your daughter isn’t like us.’

‘Meaning?’

‘In this business you have to keep everyone an arm’s length away,’ more cryptic nonsense. He went back to leaning, choosing to smoke instead of elaborating. He just couldn’t admit it, could he? Even though they both knew what he was thinking. However, what was clear was that he had put a lot of thought into this; how anyone could forget he was human was beyond her.

‘I fear you might be past that now.’

His response was almost immediate and almost too quiet for her to hear: ‘She doesn’t know that.’

‘You underestimate her, Ayatsuji-kun; she’s grown so much,’ she smiled fondly, recalling all the reports she’s read about her daughter over the years.

‘I don’t disagree,’ he remembered the first time he had seen her. It had been soon after she received the news of her mother’s death. She had just started at the military academy, and Ango was offering her a job after she graduated, courtesy of her new ability. To everyone’s shock she had requested to be placed near him, usually people requested the opposite. ‘Tsujimura-kun has changed considerably, but I—I don’t know.’

'Don’t know what?’

‘I don’t see a future where it will end well.’ Their lives were in constant danger. His is in the hands of the government; what happens when they decide they don’t need him anymore? Tsujimura didn’t take the last kill on sight order well. Well, she didn’t listen at all, choosing to risk her life instead. Would she do that again? More importantly, he didn’t want her to, nor did he want to hear her cry like that again.

‘You forget Ayatsuji-kun, that even you cannot predict the future.’

‘Well forgive me for being a realist,’ he stood up to leave, dusting his clothing and tucking in the chair before turning away.

‘Leaving so soon?’ Of course he would leave like nothing important had been said.

‘She’s going to chew my ear off about being late to some meeting or other,’ he gestured noncommittally; at least this time he was attempting to lie.

‘Think about it, Ayatsuji-kun,’ she called out to him as he walked away.

He didn’t bother turning back to answer, just waved as he waited for them to open the doors again.

He’d thought about it enough.

~ ♡ ~

Chapter 2: your feelings amongst the rubble

~ ♡ ~

Tsujimura dusted off the debris on her blazer, struggling to get up off the floor.

‘Tsujimura-kun!’ She heard her name being called from somewhere nearby. She tried to reply, but all she could do was cough.

The last thing she remembered was Ayatsuji-sensei identifying the killer in their latest case. Then the guy tried to use her as leverage to escape. Unfortunately for him, she tackled him to the ground, and he began crying quite pathetically. Sensei revealed that his ability would soon kill the man, and he screamed something along the lines of, ‘It’s not fair!’ Before activating a bomb of some kind, how she hadn’t noticed it was beyond her. It was supposed to destroy the exits to the building, trapping everyone in so that he could kill them all one by one. Due to the frailty of the older structure, the explosion caused cracks to form in the ceiling above where Tsujimura was disarming and handcuffing the man. Ayatsuji yelled out for her to move or she would be crushed. 

She looked up, there wasn’t enough time to move. Someone, or something shoved her out of the way just in time, knocking the air out of her lungs as she collided with the wall.

She must’ve been out momentarily, waking up to dust and debris everywhere. Her head was throbbing, and her muscles ached; she must’ve hit her head. Using the wall to get up, she tried to make out where everyone was. There were multiple other people in the building as Ayatsuji-sensei pointed out the killer. She saw a hand from under the rubble, the watch on the wrist told her it was the culprit, getting what he deserved.

‘Tsujimura-kun!’ The voice was closer this time, and she was almost sure it was Ayatsuji-sensei calling out her name. She tried to make out where he was, but her vision was blurring, and when she touched her head, she felt blood. Using the wall as a guide, she tried to take a couple of steps towards the voice, though it was useless as she felt her knees buckle.

In the rubble, on her knees, she felt a sense of dread fill her. Was she going to die in this building?

The last thing she remembered before waking up in the hospital was Ayatsuji-sensei crouching next to her, telling her that she would be okay. He seemed to have suffered some slight injuries in his attempt to reach her. He was never going to shut up about that.

~ ♡ ~

‘I see you didn’t make it out of this one unscathed either.’

He shot her a glare as he made his way across the room. He had a bandage on his face and scrapes on his arm and back. He sat down in his usual chair, leaning back slowly so as to not aggravate the healing skin. She watched as he lit his kiseru as usual and relaxed for a bit before continuing. 

‘So?’ She was stifling a laugh as she took in his slight wince as he moved around. ‘Shocking to see the supposedly indestructible homicide detective injured.’

‘Why are you surprised? Isn’t it part of the job?’ His eyes were shut, and he was breathing carefully; his ribs must hurt. ‘Injury and pain?’

‘Yes, but it has been a while since you sustained significant injuries in any case, correct?’ If she remembered correctly, even during the waterfall confrontation, he had a few bruises from falling into the net with force, but that was the extent of it.

He nodded, 'It has indeed.'

‘Reigo Island, I believe,’ she chuckled, clearly amused by the memory she was recalling.

Ayatsuji seemed less entertained. ‘That ability of yours has no sympathy.’

‘In my defence, I was acting under orders.’ She had been instructed to kill the ability user when she was assigned there. ‘You held your own against us, even if it was for a short time. You must have been trained well.’

‘You still seem shocked about it,’ he was sitting up straighter now. Facing her as she continued to reminisce.

‘I was informed that despite your powerful ability, you lacked any combat skills. Imagine my shock when you tried to parry Shadowling with a nearby stick.’

‘I do not wish to talk about that time in my life.’

‘Which part? The part when I nearly killed you? Or the time you learnt to fight?’

His face soured when she brought up the fighting. ‘I think you know what I’m referring to.’

‘Fine, you’ve been through enough; I'll leave this conversation for another time.’

‘Bold of you to assume we would ever have that conversation.’ His face remained unchanged and slightly horrified.

She laughed, ‘Yes, yes. I know you have no inclination to discuss your past.’ She’d tried to bring it up before, having read all the files the government had on him. He’d shot her down then too. 

‘So? Is that all you wanted to discuss? Seems pretty mundane, even more than usual.’

‘What did you expect? You haven’t done anything of national importance lately.’

‘You haven’t enquired about your daughter once. Isn’t that why you wanted to meet? You could at least ask how Tsujimura-kun is,’ he folded his arms.

She smiled, he had an of way saying he cared, ‘And how is she?’

‘Well.’

It would seem he was being bratty for her earlier intrusion, ‘And is that all?’

‘Her injuries, like mine, were minor; she is fine.’

‘Fine? Was she not put under strict orders to rest because of a concussion?’

‘Miraculously,’ he seemed to be throwing some sort of tantrum, continuing to be petty. ‘She recovered.’

‘Well,’ she laughed, he could be such an annoyance sometimes. She felt it was her karma for not spending enough time with her daughter when she was a child. ‘That’s good.’

They lapsed into silence; he seemed to be out of things to say, or be sassy about.

She spoke first, ‘And how are you?’

‘Like I already said, I’m fine.’

‘No, I mean, you saw her in quite a bad state,’ she studied his expression, and although it remained largely unaffected, there was a flicker of something in his eyes. ‘I imagine that was not easy.’

~ ♡ ~

He was shaking her as she lay limp on the floor. ‘Tsujimura, wake up!’ He had watched her try to walk before collapsing. Running towards her as fast as he could.

Now, he was sitting against the wall, pulling her into his lap so she wouldn't be on the cold ground anymore. She was still breathing, so he felt her pulse; it wasn’t as strong as usual. He wasn’t expecting this to happen when he caught the criminal; the man wasn’t supposed to have bombs. He tucked the hair out of her face, taking in her pale countenance. He should’ve noticed the explosives in the building. Why didn’t he?

How was he supposed to get her out of here when the exits were blocked? She desperately needed some medical attention to check the head injury wasn’t serious. 

Thankfully, he knew Tsujimura and trusted she had contacted the division already, as was protocol whenever they’re sent on cases. They were the ones who clean up the messes left by his ability and make sure the others on the scene are questioned about the situation. They were already on the way, but they needed extra support.

He pulled out Tsujimura’s phone and tried to turn it on, but the crack on the screen was telling. He threw it aside and pulled out his own, contacting Ango, ‘Sakaguchi-kun, we need ambulances and the fire department now.’

‘Sensei?’ He motioned for Aoki and Murakoso. ‘What happened?’

‘There was a bomb; the exits have been destroyed. I don’t know how many people are hurt, and Tsujimura-kun is unconscious.’

‘Understood.’

He ran his hand through his hair; this was all his fault, and all he could do now was wait. He looked back down at the woman in his lap; she seemed so cold. Taking off his cape, he wrapped it around her. ‘And you called it pompous; who’s benefiting from it now?’

~ ♡ ~

‘Like I said, she recovered.’ 

‘But somehow that’s not what I asked,’ she had struck some sort of nerve, but what didn’t annoy him? Any mention of her and he seemed to clam up. 

‘I’m tired of this conversation,’ he stood up from the chair. 

She reopened her book, accepting that today wasn’t the day. ‘How many conversations will you just simply refuse to have?’

‘As many as necessary,’ he headed towards the exit.

He may act indifferent, but she had read the reports of the responding agents that day. How he had carried her out of the building, covered in injuries himself. Or how he had been insistent she receive medical care immediately, pushing her into the arms of the nearest EMT. Refusing to be seen until she had.

One day he was going to have to face facts, and she knows he’s not going to enjoy it one bit.

~ ♡ ~

Please help me. My daughter’s condition is bad and she needs special care and some needs. Donate to me what you can please save her from here🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🥺🥺🥺🥺

Please, my friend, donate me to buy the medicine for my daughter. Please, my friend, 🍉😭

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i meant to post these onto here when i finished drawing kunikida, tsujimura and tecchou but alas. i have not been able to borrow my friend's tablet for a long while now

📢 Help Rebuild Our Lives: A Family's Fight for Survival in Gaza❗🚨

🚨Urgent 😟👇🇵🇸🚨

Hello everyone!!

My name is Lena Khames, a 27-year-old wife to my husband, Mohammed, and a proud mother of three beautiful children: our daughter Yasmmen and our two sons, Ali and Adam.

We come from Al-Zahraa in the Gaza Strip. I have a diploma in e-commerce, but our once stable and hopeful life has been shattered by the devastation of war, leaving us struggling to rebuild.

Our world collapsed when a missile targeted our home, reducing it to rubble in an instant 💔. The home we had built with $40,000, a place where we had hoped to raise our children in peace, was completely destroyed. We have been left homeless, with nothing but memories of what we once had.

Our family has been forced to move repeatedly 💔due to the conflict. After being displaced from our home by military force to a supposedly "safe" area, we quickly learned there is no safe place in Gaza. Each time the danger intensified, we had to flee again, struggling to protect our children from the violence that surrounded us. Today, we live in a tent under unbearable conditions, without even the most basic necessities.

In one of the many attacks, my husband, already suffering from a previous injury, was seriously wounded in his leg 💔. He now requires continuous medical care and a special device to help him walk again. To make matters worse, my husband lost his brother Mahmoud in the conflict—his brother died in his arms while they were inspecting the ruins of our home. The emotional and physical pain has weighed heavily on him, and on all of us.

Adding to our burden, my husband also lost his car—the sole source of income for our family— 💔 which had cost him $20,000. This loss has left us without any means of financial support, making it nearly impossible to care for our children and ensure their safety.

How Your Donation Will Help Us 🙏:

We are seeking to raise €100,000 to help secure a temporary place for our family, as we are currently living in a tent and our children desperately need a safe and stable environment. The funds will also allow us to begin rebuilding our home, which was destroyed, and restore the stability and hope we once had. Additionally, we need urgent financial support for my husband’s medical treatment and travel to find safety and proper care, as we try to escape the ongoing nightmare of war and genocide that we are forced to endure.

👉 Donation Link: https://gofund.me/c17aa129

Please share, like and donate this campaign with your friends, family and colleagues to help us achieve our goals. I would appreciate your assistance. Any amount, even if small, will make a difference in providing assistance to my family in our hour of need.

Thank you for taking the time to read this message and consider making a difference in the lives of those affected by the ongoing crisis in Gaza

With gratitude,

Lina & Her Family

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Donate to Help me save my family and travel to treat my husband, organized by Lina Khames

Dear friends and supporters, I hope this message finds you in good … Lina Khames needs your support for Help me save my family and travel t

A Constant

super short and written at like 3 am

Working as he had for these couple of years meant he was always on his toes waiting for something to go wrong. Waiting for his secrets to be discovered.

Of his three faces he didn’t know which life he liked best, Rei Furuya was an agent waiting for orders and protecting the country he loved most. Bourbon was a dangerous criminal who annoyed even the likes of Gin and was often forced to work with Vermouth.

Amuro Tooru on the other hand was tame in comparison to his other lives. He worked at a small but busy cafe in Beika, with a steady stream of regulars and a cute colleague.

They were constants in his forever changing life.

A peaceful alternative to his normal.

A way to relax.

He was also a detective trainee of sorts, though he’d surpassed that stage ages ago.

Love drawing her ♥️