Cheater

the beard looks really good on him

HI IM KINDA TO SHY TO ASK THIS BUT- can i request for some headcanons with ghost, soap,price,gaz, Alejandro and maybe add könig with a male reader who has childhood trauma and social anxiety and when things get really quite reader starts to cry or have a breakdown and gets bad memories of something like that? Idk if it makes sense sorry bout that (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) haha anyways bye love ya sm! <33

[A/n:Love you to man. Thank you for requesting]

Summary:Due to your trauma and social anxiety you will have a break down and get flashbacks if something too bad happens

Type:Hcs: Ghost X M!Reader: Soap X M!Reader: Alejandro X M!Reader: Price X M!Reader: König X M!Reader

Version:Mw2

Price

Dad mode actived

He'll try his best to not put you in stressful situations but since your in the military that's kinda hard

He makes sure that everyone knows you can't handle stressful situations all to well

and if you ever need a break his room is always open

He's there to help you, don't forget that

König

He understands

He also deals with social anxiety so he can't help much there

But since he has it, he knows what helps him do he'll use that to hopefully help you

If not all he can do is put his hand on your back in hopes it'll help

But he panics and thinks that due to his size that he might stress you out

Ghost

He's horrible at comforting people

I'm sorry to break it to you but he can only watch

He doesn't know what to do, due to his trauma he can't help you. The best he can do is awkwardly hold you

Afterwards he'd feel like shit, cause he'd remember ways to help you

In the moment he can't do anything

Soap

He's like Price, great at this

He's on a role, gets you to an isolated place, some water, rubs your back, gently talks you

All the good stuff

He had experience with this kind of stuff so he knows it all

Just comforter unless you catch him by surprise

Alejandro

Along with Ghost, he's not really good at this

He panics and trys to get Rudy to help you, if he can't find Rudy he'll awkwardly pat you on the back

He does his best though, will get you some water and if there's some ice cream, he'll take a second to get you a bowl of it

Seriously, he knows ice cream helps

You make Alejandro panic more than missions make him panic

[A/n:I hope you enjoyed]

cant believe i’ve never shared arguably the funniest dms i’ve ever gotten in my life

being on team 141 and being one of the youngest people in the team HCs [p.02]

𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐢. ✦ 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞!!

𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺: 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒃𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒋𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒔, 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆 141, 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒎𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈,

𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹'𝑺 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑵𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑺: 𝒖𝒏𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒅

𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹'𝑺 𝑪𝑨𝑳𝑳𝑺𝑰𝑮𝑵: 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒑𝒆𝒓

back at it again, its another fatherless rapscallion😭

100% believe you and soap call people bestie if you dont like them

ex: "soap come hither, i have tea on bestie chloe" and he comes barreling down the hall to hear the tea

lmfao speaking of soap

SOAP=WHINY MAN BABY

this man whines when you give him the silent treatment fo sheezy 💯

ghost thinks its really funny when soap watches you with a '☹' face evrry time you ignore him

gaz always knows everything because you know everything so you tell him its hilarious asf

anyways

you and gaz always be talkin about topher fr

(i dont have the of so an edit will do:)

HELLA INSIDE JOKES

price is highkey tired of your humor

"is there anything you need?" price "other than a father/mother? nope. thanks, tho" you *insert gaz laughing from the other room*, distressed price leaved the room, clutching at his sussy goofy wacky little hat

if you are fluent in spanish i strongly believe ghost will be scared of you

as i have been trading my spanish for german, i wont put anything else involving spanish, thanks 😍🙏

screaming judas in tge shower

ghost yelling at you to shut up

soap joining to annoy his babygorl

gaz humming along because lady gaga is goddess

price needing to leave the room

l m f a o

ok so like what if you're really good at card games, savvy?

you and 141 are laying low in a safehouse somewhere

soap finds a deck of cards, and everyone plays and/or watches

anyway you suggest playing manipulation

price immediately agrees, he hasnt played in a while but still thinks he could beat everyonr

ghost joins in, but gaz watches

what if you sat in his lap

no sorry my bad im in love

anyway

the first, like, three rounds everyones drawing like five cards

and price somehow ends up with two cards while everyones drawing cards

hes getting cocky, thinking that he'll go out first because of his amount of cards

HOWEVER

he had an ace

so that was virtually impossible to get rid of lmfao

anyhow,

price had on his poker face, and surprisingly, so did you

no one could tell you were able to get rid of the five cards in your hand only in the eighth round

bada bing bada boom you served the team their ass when you quickly arranged your cards into their appropriate piles

and then you look at everyone's flabberghasted expression

price is 😯🙁ing so hard

not only did price lose, he lost to one of the youngest people on the team

ghost is a sore loser tbh

"fuckin' hell, reaper. the hell you learn to play like that?" ghost "around" you shrug

price thinks about that all the time tbh

LETS TALK ABOUT THE TIME 141 FIRST SAW YOU SMOKING

after a somewhat rough mission, you go MIA

everyones worried; you generally let someone know whenever you go somewhere

but its hour 4 of you being gone and price is worried

you did this when the whole situation with alex went down, so price has limited experience with your MIA bouts

highkey feels bad he can't protect you emotionally :(

it was well below sun down when price found you

poor captain almost had a stroke when you saw you

you were outside sitting cross legged facing the direction which the sun had set, indicating you'd been there for a while

you had a lighter in your hand, lighting up cigarette number unknown

"what are you doing, kid?"

you had heard him coming so you didnt jump or anything you just shrugged

"do you want to talk about it?"

a mocking laugh fell from your lips, spewing out with smoke "nah."

price was at a loss. you had never acted like this before- cold and sharp

he moved to sit by you though </3

soon ghost trailed out, wondering where price was

an inky black mass caught his eye

but as he was making his way over, he saw a cigarette get smushed into the ground and a knew one being pulled from a pack

price didn't smoke cigarettes, he smoked cigars, so who would that be?

but then ghost heard your voice and an exhale and you had the cigarette

ghost: 😯

"hell's goin' on out here?" ghost grumbled, sitting on the other side of u, eyes widening at the amount of boxes at ur side

price answered when you didnt "getting some air"

ghost blinked at the cigarette hanging from your lips. okay

the guys tried to get you to talk but couldn't get anything out of you but a scoff or two

even when ghost offered to let you sleep in his room you said no :(((

after that you gathered your shit and left for the base leaving ghost and price concerned </3

whoa who broke my heart i sure am angsty today 😟💯

you didnt get any sleep that night btw

on another note

MOVIE NIGHTS WITH THE GUYS BUT GAZ INSISTS INSTEAD OF YOU

obviously he goes to you first

"hey y/n" :))) "do you wanna" :)))))) "watch a movie" :))))))))) "with us?" :))))))))))))

i'll be damned if you say no. 😐🔪

so you said yes 😍❤

he smiled so big </33

went to soap next

then pulled up the movie

with everyone ( minus ghost ), price couldn't say no 🙃

ghost pulled up, ffs 🤯

gaz chose either a horror movie or a horror movie

so you watched a horror movie 😁

gaz was probably clinging to you the whole time

so was soap probably

ghost was somewhat interested, but price fell asleep

his goofy snore is so loud bro im not even playing 🤧😭😭

if you have migraines you best believe everyone has midol/typenol for you

never ibuprofen tho bc after a mission if you had a headache, 141 might think you possibly had/have a brain bleed and wouldn't give you ibuprofen bc thats a blood thinner and could start another bleed

you and gaz have playlists for everyone

you both follow each other on EVERYTHING

if you were too poor (like me HDJSNEHDJEUZ) gaz would let you and only you on his netflix acc ❤

im sorry im a gazlvr

will probably edit later tbh

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞!!

@shadylilac

🤍

Gf and legion sketch i forgot to post

Ghost x Soap x Male Reader (Part 2)

Part 1

Sorry it took me quite long lmao TToTT School and work deadlines are killin' me.

Summary: Male Reader is traumatized and refuses to open up to 141. Soap found out something horrible going on with him and told Ghost about it.

Word count: 1910

Warnings: Smoking. Mention of attempts to self-h@rm.

The next morning you woke up with a throbbing headache. It was so bad that you felt like hundreds of needles were jabbed into your eye sockets and every time you blinked, those needles plunged into your brain, sending a sharp and chilling pain to the crown of your head. This was by no means a strange occurrence for you though, given the fact that every night the base celebrated a party you always indulged in this self-sabotaging habit. 

Still, no matter how bad the situation was, you still had training to attend to, tasks to get done, reports to compile, and a miserable life to live. You turned your head to look at the clock, silently praying that it wasn’t too late. 

It was 13:00 in the afternoon already. 

“Shit!” You threw an arm over your forehead. Nice, you missed the morning training session. It was your responsibility today to train the new recruits and now you messed up the whole Task Force’s schedule once again just because you could not handle your pathetic emotions properly. The thoughts of giving up flooded your mind yet again since it was no use in waking up anyway, it was too late to do anything useful. The other team members were already aware of how irresponsible you were as you continuously failed to be on time for training the newbies. And what about the newbies’ impression of you? Probably an unreliable man who was no longer fit to be a member of a special Task Force that was particularly famous for its efficiency. Or maybe you were never fit to be one to begin with. 

Why didn’t the others wake you up? You had worked here long enough to know how scary and irritated Ghost could get when people missed his training session. There were even times when he immediately had the unpunctual soldiers pack their things and get sent to another department because he couldn’t fuckin’ stand people disrespecting his schedule. 

“Maybe they forget about my existence. Maybe I wasn’t that big of a part of this Task Force.” You mumbled to yourself, trying to pull your tired body out of the heavy blanket. As much as you wanted to give up, the desire to be important to someone, something, or some organization, …just anything, urged you to wake up and keep trying. You wanted yourself to be seen.

Upon opening the door of your stuffy room, you instinctively covered your eyes as they were attacked by rays of blinding sunlight. Your room was too dark and gloomy, doors and windows tightly shut all day and night, no wonder you would react so unfavorably to the bright sunlight that is often associated with positive moods by most people. 

The base was unusually quiet. You didn’t meet a single soul on your way to the kitchen to fill your hungry stomach. No Soap cracking stupid jokes with his heavy Scottish accent and laughing loudly to them himself, no Gaz cursing at his jokes, no Roach laughing at the two dumb manchildren, no Price sighing and telling them to at least be less raucous. You tried to shrug the nasty nagging feelings off, but it soon became unbearable when you walked into the kitchen and saw all the dirty dishes in the sink. 

“They have finished their lunch.” And they had it without you. The people you considered to be your own family, much closer than the biological family that you had cut all contact with, didn’t wake you up from your drunken sleep, totally forgot your existence, and enjoyed a meal together like there wasn’t anything missing. You knew damn well that you were overexaggerating the seriousness of the situation, but you just couldn’t help it. 

‘What am I to them?’ That question kept spiraling inside your brain, worsening the headache that you were already having. In a brief second, all the nagging feelings were anthropomorphized into a disgusting creature with multiple heads and mouths by your ailed mind, shrilly screaming out your deepest thoughts that were fraught with insecurities. Your legs were rendered weak and you collapsed on the floor. Supporting your weakened body with all four limbs, you took heavy breaths, trying to calm yourself down.

A few minutes later, you managed to put yourself together enough to stand up and get out of the base, on the way you didn’t forget to grab a pack of cigarettes. You felt stupid to resort to nicotine as a way to fight against all those feelings, but you didn’t know a better way. There were times when things were so bad that you had no energy left to hide your conditions from your teammates, and Price was concerned. He used to have you talk to some therapists, and not surprisingly to you at all, they could not handle you for long. No one ever could. 

You were now standing in the parking lot with a cigarette in your mouth. You sighed, clearly satisfied with how strongly its bitter taste stimulated your taste buds. When you first arrived here as the newest member of Task Force 141, Soap and Gaz always joked that you’d become Price’s smoking buddy, but that did not happen. The image of you standing with Price awkwardly because you two couldn’t find a mutual topic for a conversation made you feel too uncomfortable to even try, so you kept avoiding the older man or pretending to not hear his offer until he just stopped inviting you. It was so obvious that the men wanted to get closer to you, they wanted to earn your trust, to make you feel at home and be yourself among them, yet you kept pushing them away. And now perhaps they had stopped trying all together. It was not their fault. It was yours. 

But why it was so painful? You were supposed to feel relieved that they had given up so that you didn’t have to blame yourself every time you turned their kind offer down and saw the sadness drawn on their faces. ‘Why do I keep feeling like shit no matter what I do?’

Feeling that the intense emotions that were barely suppressed by the nicotine started to get out of hand again, you cupped your head with both hands, the half-burning cigarette fell to the ground. Suddenly, your eyes caught the red burning tip of it, together with how the paper wrapping around the nicotine was slowly burnt to black. At that very moment, a dark but familiar thought popped up in your mind. You bowed down to pick up the cigarette, blankly staring at it resting between the two fingers of your right hand. Then, your eyes turned to your left hand, examining your spotty lower arm. It was full of the small round scars that were caused by burning your arms with the burning tip of a cigarette. You had noticed Ghost looked at these scars of yours many times; luckily he never asked about them. The army was a place filled with people who had different background stories and bore numerous scars, so it wouldn’t be abnormal for you to have some that were a bit funny-shaped.

‘Should I do this again?’ 

Maybe you should. It helped with the emotions. Well, temporarily, but that was good enough.

Just as you were about to press the burning tip into your lower left arm, someone threw their whole weight into you. You were hugged by two strong arms and the cigarette was again dropped to the ground.

“There you are! I’ve been finding you everywhere!” It was the Scot man. “Are you smoking? Gosh, I hate this smell! Price’s cigars are much better!”

‘The ones that smell good are never bitter enough.’ You thought to yourself.

“Have you had lunch, pretty boy?” Soap pinched your dumbfounded face.

“Not yet.”

“What? Unbelievable! Get to the kitchen with me right now, Sergeant.” The man literally manhandled you straight from the parking lot into the base, leaving you no time to object.

As you two arrived at your destination, Ghost was already sitting there, sipping some coffee. Soap forced you to sit down right next to him while he proceeded to walk to the fridge and pulled out a dish, putting it inside the microwave oven. 

“Here you are, babyboy~” He put the hot meal in front of you. You chose to ignore the pet name and his flirtatious voice simply because he had started doing it to you ever since you start working here. It was just one of his signature thing, you should not fall for it and mistake it as a sign of interest that could develop into romantic feelings. 

“Thanks, Soap.”

“Aw, don’t be so all worked up and formal, babyboy. Ya’ welcome~”

Silence fell over the three of you, until you just felt so awkward that you had to speak up, “So… how was this morning?”

“It was fine. Ghost stepped in your place and took care of the training.” Soap replied.

You carefully glanced at Ghost, just to find that the man already looked at you, which made you tremble slightly. The skull mask on his face made him too difficult to read, you couldn’t tell whether he was annoyed or he just gave up on expecting something greater from you. 

Soap laughed at your reactions, “It’s okay. You were drunk so Price agreed to let you sleep. Also, Ghost volunteered to help you with the training so he probably doesn’t hold a grudge. Am I right, Ghostie?”

The masked man didn’t answer; instead, he turned back to his cup of coffee.

You quickly finished your meal and left, saying that you should do training by yourself. The truth was you couldn’t stay there any longer, you didn’t want to disturb Ghost and Soap’s rare peaceful time together. You had already made too terrible an impression on Ghost, it’s best that you did not mess up again. As a result, you also missed their conversation. It was not intended for you to listen to anyway.

“You’re right. He did it.” Soap’s voice was solemn, with no sign of flirt or unseriousness like a few minutes before.

“You mean the scars?” Ghost looked up at him from the cup.

“Yeah, the round scar marks that you’ve told me many times.”

“It was just my guess. How do you know he really did it?”

“I found him in the parking lot. He was holding a burning cigarette and about to press it into his left arm.” 

A few minutes of silence passed until Ghost spoke up, “Fuckin’ hell.”

“I asked Price about his past, I know it’s a nosy thing to do, but I wanted to help. Unfortunately, Price knows nothing either. Y/n… the boy never opens up to us.”

The two men sat quietly, exchanging worried looks with each other. If only you could know how much they cared for you, maybe you would find it easier to accept their love and help. Yet, even if they told you, even if they desperately showed you so many times that they cared and loved you so much, would your brain allow your heart to welcome them just like how it used to welcome other people you had met earlier in your life, the ones who left you wounded and made you the way you were today? 

If someone asked you that question, you’d just offer them a weak smile and simply say: “No”. You're now too tired to hold on to any crumbles of hope left in your broken soul. You'd like to give up.

to be continued i guess :")

Taglist: @aphroditeslovr @prestigeghoul @edgyboi10000 @c0nny3917 @peter-the-pan @lovecats123451

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The Most Humane Monsters

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (WIP)

Yandere!Mold Ethan Winters x GN!reader

EDIT: I was going to do this as one massage oneshot but after checking the word count (5889) I think it would be better to break it down, don't want a repeat of Stay With Me. Therefore this will be the first part.

Summery: Childhood friends of Ethan Winters you watch as the blond man grow into a fine adult, someone caring and devoid of any malicious capabilities. As time grows you soon realize that you love the adorably dumb man, Ethan was everything in your eyes. So when he marries another person by the name of Mia it tore you to pieces, especially when you come to learn her true nature. Cruel, manipulative, and cold, safe to say you hated her in every way. Regardless, Ethan loved her whole heartedly and you did your best to support him. One day Mia goes missing from her "babysitting job", days turn to week, and week to months, Ethan was a wreck from the anxiety. And despite all feelings for Mia and for Ethan you buried them alive, stepping in as the supportive friend Ethan always knew you as. Apparently that was not enough as without any notice Ethan was gone, out on an adventure to save his wife. This left you alone with no idea of what happened to the man you loved, left alone for weeks and months. Just you and your thoughts.

That is until Ethan returned, changed by the experiences in more than just emotional trauma.

Tags: Heavy Angst, some fluffy moments, yandere themes (lighter side), Ethan being turned into a mostly mindless mold monster, character violence, mentions of abuse, jealously, mentions of depression and eating disorder, slow-ish burn, friends to lovers (?)

Please don't like my posts, if you like and want to support me as a writer do not like. Instead reblog, comment, or just leave a nice message in my inbox. Likes are discouraging writers from writing; there is more info for people who are interested here.

Late light illuminated the hallow room of your bedroom, an auburn colouration of the dim light painted the side of your face as you stared at the celling. By the Gods so much has happened, you don't even know how it all arranged in the way it did. Like the natural chaos of pulling threads of a rug, it unfolded everything taking the neat patterns and pristine image made of a thousand little strands carefully weaved.

The slight pull of a inky black arms grounds from your thoughts, encasing your waist in a comforting matter you turn to face the man who owns them. Sound asleep, like a delicate angel despite his current... disfigurement.

Ethan Winters could never be dirtied in your eyes, he was always beauty to you.

Many months earlier, news of the greatest misery for Ethan cursed his ears. Mia was missing, all the man knew is that she went overseas to 'babysit' some rich spoiled brat. You didn't buy that bullshit story for one second, Ethan on the other hand the story was a hook-line and sinker. It blackened your light heart even more than this blood-feud of jealousy Mia caused you. How could such a perfect man end up with such a horrible woman?

How cruel were the gods?

You thought that Mia was going overseas to sleep with other men, sugar daddies or something along those lines. It seemed to fit her character, especially when she would 'work' for days on end and not even tell Ethan. The amount of times he'd call you in an anxious panic asking for your advise.

"should I call the police?", "What if she's hurt and not contacting me because of that?!". The echo of the fearful words reverberated in your mind like a hollow cave, every time you would have to calm down Ethan from jumping off the rails. Ethan was never the fearful or anxious type, but there was one thing about those he loved and that was protective and giving to a self-sacrificial fault. The perfect combination for someone who was manipulative and the 'taker' in a relationship. You hated every time Ethan retelling the newest issue with Mia, how even before they got married there were so many issues. And despite all of that he stayed with her, Ethan was so forgiving and blind with 'love' that he didn't see the countless red flags or your disapproval. You tried your best to gently lead him to his own conclusion of how abusive Mia was but Ethan never did, for a man so smart he was also so fucking stupid. The breaking point was when Ethan called you about Mia being cold and snappy at him again, this time she worked for an entire week without ever coming home or telling Ethan where she went. Then when she got home avoided Ethan completely like he wasn't even there, you were reminded of how Ethan could barely articulate himself through snot-filled tears.

Full ugly crying, hick-ups included.

She wouldn't even let Ethan touch, hug, or kiss her. This, as unfortunate as it is was "normal" behavior, what finally pissed you off is when Ethan told you when he went to hug her anyways because he was so thankful Mia was back unharmed, she scratched him across the face. Years, upon years broke out in less than minutes as you finally spilled out all the hate you had for that woman. Going from a silent ear that listened to Ethan occasionally offering physical comfort and advise, to spouting how abusive Mia is and how she has been taking advantage of Ethan for YEARS! No longer could you try to delicately allow Ethan to come to his conclusion, he needed a reality check. Now.

But as fate has it the opposite affect happened than what you were aiming for, Ethan became defensive which caused you to become for offensive and reticule Mia even more. Ethan dug his heels and defended her actions tooth and nail, which caused you to get more frustrated and angry. This soon turned into a full argument where the both of you were crying as you yelled at each other, you desperately wanting Ethan's safety- emotionally and mentally, while he wanted you to stop slandering his wife!

In hindsight you should have seen this coming, of course going out with teeth and claws was going to cause Ethan to become defensive and therefore do Mia's work of legitimizing her abuse. Regardless of innocent intentions the actions had consciences, negative ones. Ethan yelled at you to leave his house at once, heart broken and frustrated you obeyed out of respect of your friendship. Ethan didn't talk to you for weeks, what used to be a bright and bubbling friendship with the two of you talking almost every break turn into agonizing radio silence. You waited by the phone just hoping he finally understood what you mean, harshness and all, and come to... say anything. Apologize was not the right word, just validate your words or at the very least say he didn't hate you.

But Ethan never did.

Weeks turned and passed like breaths in the vastness of unwavering time, taken and gone.

You knew what you had to do and you fucking hated it, but it was for Ethan. Always for Ethan. Picking up for your phone after another sleepless night you opened and started texting him,

Hey, 8:34am

Do you have time to talk? 8:35am

You stared into the screen as the moments passed by, moments into minutes. Minutes that made another string of silent tears slipping through your closed eyes, pressing your forehead against the glass screen of your phone silent praying to every deity you know by name for something, fucking anything.

Nothing.

There was nothing else you could do, nothing but wait. You didn't want to get up out of bed, you didn't want to get dressed, and you most certainly didn't want to bother bathing or eating anything. But this would be the fifth time already if you ignored all basic needs, with lead in your heart and tips of your limbs you swing your body into action, using their own heavy weight to start the motion. Groggily you start to move towards the bathroom, turning the water to a boiling hot temperature before removing your clothes and standing under the water. The hot water felt like it was melting the matts and knots inside your flesh and bone, leaning your face right into the stream stung but felt nice at the same time. Your phone played music as you washed yourself, taking the scrubby trying to get the weeks worth of anxiety sweat and depressive neglect out.

The music is interrupted for a moment which you didn't may much mind to, engrossed in the enveloping sensation of warmth of your ever-cold soul. However, once you did step out you check your phone and saw a single message from Ethan.

I don't want to talk. 9:15am

Quickly your fingers start typing as water still dripped of your naked body.

Please Ethan, I want to apologize 9:17am

In person 9:17am

You bit your lip in anxiety as you waited for a response, you just got his attention and if you lost Ethan now you would never forgive yourself. Losing Ethan because of your lack of control when it came to Mia, if your friendship ended this way you would never forgive yourself. Your phone pinged.

Okay, I can talk 10am before work 9:19am

You collapsed by the sink as tears of joy started to fall, water pooled around you as you stayed down. So much anxiety, relief, stress collecting and releasing all at the same time. You were going to set this straight or at the very least try.

10am rolled around and you stood in front of Ethan's house having the same dread building inside since the text, this was it. You already wanted to break down and cry but you can't, not yet. You needed to be strong and face this, for Ethan.

Three strong knocks to the door echoed out and the silence was painful as you waited, slowly the sounds of footsteps came muffled from inside until they were at the other side of the door. Slowly the door opened to a solemn looking Ethan, you smiled meekly before greeting him. He didn't respond, obviously Ethan was still pissed at you and it shattered you more. Already so close to breaking,

He steps aside and allows you to come in, taking your jacket in the process you set it on a chair before speaking. "Don't worry, I wont stay long. I just need to apologize and I'll be out of your hair."

Ethan didn't respond, just stood where you could only see his back. You mind echoing and circling with all the most negative thoughts, like a stream that couldn't end. A dam with a crack that turned into the tsunami that came crashing on the unexpecting town, unable to do anything but watch and death approached with a speed that was impossible to outrun.

Ethan sat down on the couch and stayed silent, you cleared your throat and opened your bag to uncover your gift. A loaf of bread.

"It the rosemary garlic sour dough you like, I figured I'd have to come with a peace offering at least." You smiled timidly again as Ethan's eyes scanned you again, there was something going on behind then and the worst part was you had no idea of what it was.

Awkwardly you set the still warm loaf on the coffee table and sat down, "I came here to apologize, that much is obvious so I'll just start."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry being an asshole of a friend, I'm sorry for slandering your wife and worse yet in a time that's already so stressful for you." You start the long winded apology, staring at the ground too scared to see what Ethan is expressing during it all.

"I know you know I don't exactly have the best of feelings towards Mia, and as your friend I should be setting that aside because she's your wife. If she makes you happy then that's what matters." There was a moment of silence as that same anxiety burned black in the bottom of your heart, you knew the next part wasn't going to be easy.

Ethan went to say something but stopped as you continued, "But that's not the only thing I came here to say, I feel like you deserve a little more than that. You deserve an explanation."

"I've known you for so long Ethan, and the truth is I've had a crush on you since graduation of highschool. As the years went by that crush turned into love." You finally turned to face the man, he had this vacuumous look on his face.

"When you married Mia I was bitter, jealous. Still am. I did my best to support you while hiding my feelings and well, you know how well that went." Your voice started to waver.

"The point of telling you this is not to guilt trip you or make you feel worse but rather to just get it off my chest. I know how awkward it is to have your friend around when you know they have feelings for you, especially when your wife is not far away. So if you want to end our friendship because of it I won't blame you, I won't fight it, I'll go and you don't have to feel any guilt."

"But its your decision, I just ask you do me the common curtesy of telling me."

Silence screamed between the two of you.

"That's all I wanted to say," You start to stand, pull your coat and bag from the chair you set it on and opened the door. For some reason you stopped and almost turned back to Ethan but you stopped yourself halfway, one part of you wanted to say goodbye knowing fully well this might be the last time you ever see the man you loved. Another part told you already said enough, to say anything else would be more cruel.

So, you didn't.

You silently closed the door behind you and walked down the pavement back to your car, got in closed the door and drove off. Silence filled the air and nothing beyond the constant rubble of the vehicle was heard, only by the time you were halfway home did the tears start.

And they did not stop.

There was nothing on your end for weeks, you assumed Ethan took the logical conclusion and ended your friendship.

Only he didn't tell you anything,

'That's fine, its understandable' you lied to yourself. The deep depression you fell into begged otherwise, it was the only voice of truth in your ever-spiral of lies. You woke up, got dressed, sometimes bathed, ate the most pathetic breakfast, went to work, got home, and stayed in bed until you fell asleep. Often skipping dinner you lost a lot of weight, quickly, unhealthily. Other people at work complimented you on that unhealthy habit, saying you look so good because of it and that you weary complexation was just a 'adjustment period' of you diet. Because clearly you were on a diet and not starving yourself because you were in the deepest depression you have ever been in your life. One part of you was so bitter at the at the mouth-breathing morons around you, all praising your clear withering body because of their equally abusive mindsets. The other part so engrossed in your misery that you can't even expend the energy further than a rough sigh through the nose before going back to that chaos.

Meanwhile with Ethan he thought about your words, all the little puzzle pieces that he never bothered to look at before finally fell together to finish the image. It all made sense suddenly. He wanted to say something, talk to you and tell you he still likes you. Ethan still wanted you around and be with him, but he couldn't say anything yet because his own guilt eating himself alive. This entire time you supported Ethan with his issues with Mia and never once spoke of how you felt, his own best friend in love with him and he was talking about his relationship issues. Ethan wanted to punish himself for all the years he made you suffer in this misery, in silence. What was it, since highschool? That means you've been suffering for thirteen- fifteen years?

Gods, Ethan felt horrible.

Thinking of your words during the argument made so much sense now, and the worst part was that Ethan was finally starting to understood what you meant by Mia 'not being the best person'. This entire time Mia was mistreating him and Ethan was so engrossed with having the 'perfect' life that he never saw it, he just wanted to have a happy family he willingly ignored it. Tears started to pour out but for a different reason,

More time passed as weeks grew longer, that was went he finally received a message from Mia. At first he was so thankful but then Ethan reminded himself of everything he learnt- or rather finally discovered, but she was in trouble. It was an email with nothing more than a video where she talked to the camera clearly dirty and terrified, despite everything Ethan still felt a little love for her. He didn't want to see this woman suffering, he wanted to save her. Ethan finally came to a conclusion, he would go out to help Mia with whatever is going on. Once things settled down he'd devoice her and then talk to you, Ethan didn't know what else after that but he knew that he wanted to still be with you. Not that he had much time to think about it as Ethan quickly packed his bags and got ready to return to Louisiana.

Things never went as plan did they, being captured by the Baker family, Mia going psyco on him, the infection, the mold. The entire time though all Ethan could think about was you, how you were always there. When he was sick and Mia was out 'working' you'd come over and offer some soup you made, it was always delicious. When he was bed ridden you stay and help out so he could recover, listen to him mope and whine, then sleep on the couch. You were always there to celebrate his promotions as a software engineer, take him out drinking and do what he wanted to. Be the shoulder for him to cry on.

Ethan wanted to make things right again.

@thatgoblin @piers-wifey @starblazer124 @sebbytheraccoon @chaoticlovingdreamer @notgalaxii @germvity @sirpeanutthethird @clusterfuck-yandere @frogge-lol

am i odd for thinking biblically accurate angels are absolutely cool looking 😭😭