Another Masked Man Added To My Collection...

Things I head-canon Gaz would do in a relationship bc everyone makes him so basic and I’m sick of it

Every-time he wants to take a nap with you he send that “the missile is very eepy and wants to take just a small sleeb” and says “me fr” under it

Such a cuddle-bug, loves being able to hold you and keep you close

Likes to drive around/to a secluded spot with you in the passenger seat with music blasting, he forces you to be a passenger princess

When you two go to a secluded spot after driving around for a bit you just make out for awhile

Uses your perfume/deodorant when he’s away from you, bought another bottle of whatever you use to take with him when he’s deployed

In return he likes to rub himself all over you and put his shirts on you to make you smell like him. A little weird yeah but he loves it

Please take care of this man if he’s had a bad day :(

But if you’ve had a bad day he’ll hold you until you force your way out of his arms to go to the toilet or something

Loves kissing

Loves when you fall asleep in his arms/on top of him

I can imagine he’d be kinda insecure about his scars so if you kiss them he’ll melt

Chronically stressed so loves when you give him massages

Before he asked you out and he was crushing he was like a nervous teen boy, constantly glancing at you and trying to impress you before he gave up and just asked you out

If you’re not there to sleep with him he uses a pillow either with your shirt or your perfume/deodorant on it so it smells like you and he cuddles it

Ok that’s all for now, I’m still working on requests just tired

that one csm bit

Incorrect quotes pt.4

Mw2 x male reader

Genre: crack

Characters: soap, price, gaz, soap, Alejandro, graves, Rodolfo, ghost

Warnings:

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Y/n: dad.. I have something to tell you..

Price: 🤨.. go on

Y/n: I’m gay..

Price: I knew that- I mean, thank you for telling me

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Y/n: I was put on this earth to do one thing.

Y/n: Luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever I want.

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Graves with a gun to y/n’s head*: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven?

Y/n: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.

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Y/n: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

Soap: Well, that would such because you can't microwave metal.

Price: Good morning to everyone except these two people.

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Graves: Where's 141?

Y/n: They're playing hide and seek.

Graves: Where?

Y/n: I don't think you get how this game works.

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Soap: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Ghost: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Alejandro: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.

Gaz: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Price: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Y/n: I have emotional scars.

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Graves: I will find the missiles.. AND I WILL-

Y/n: Could you maybe just like… stab me… right in the gut. Just REALLY twist it in there. ‘Cause that honestly seems less painful than this conversation.

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Y/n: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

Ghost: No, that's not how you make cookies.

Soap: FLOOR IT!!

Y/n: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?

Ghost: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-

Y/n: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!

Soap: DO IT!

Ghost: NO-

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Y/n: I'm not doing to well.

Rodolfo: What's wrong?

Y/n:I have this headache that comes and goes.

*graves enters the room*

Y/n: There it is again.

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Y/n: look at us… who would’ve thought? Not me

Soap: what

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FEM ALIGNED DNI

Reblogs are greatly appreciated:)

THEY NERFED HIS ASS

Excuse me...look at he. Thank u

Choices have consequences

Alejandro Vargas x reader (GN)

Warning: light angst, culinary crimes, talk about past food insecurity.

Summary: There is an unwritten rule that you assumed Alejandro would have learned by now, after three years of committed relationship: don't anger the cook. You were wrong.

On AO3

A/N: I'm like, five vodka cocktails in. If there are any mistakes I'll fix them when I'm sober. Also I got inspired by @ragingbookdragon 's badass reader because I just know Alejandro is. So. Whipped.

When you had decided to move in together, an arrangement was made: all household chores would be shared when he was present, but you would be in charge of meal planning and cooking.

It was a convenient set-up for the two of you; you wouldn't be burdened with all the chores when he was off-duty, and would only look after your own load of housekeeping when you were by yourself. Besides, Alejandro was by no means an incapable man when cooking, you were just better than him in that regard - by a lightyear.

To you, cooking wasn't just a means to an end - it was an act of service, a declaration of love. And to date a passionate man as Alejandro, you showed the same passion for your culinary art.

The kitchen was your realm, and you were the regent. No matter whoever was going to be the recipient of your hard work, you always chose the finest ingredients. You loved to experiment with flavours and aromas. You had transformed an unused closet at the far end of your kitchen into a walk-in pantry - your spices occupied nearly an entire wall in there.

You put your heart and soul into every dish, it didn't matter if it was for Alejandro and you, a house full of guests, or just yourself. Those close to the both of you knew that a dinner invitation to your house meant a culinary experience that could rival that of a Michelin star restaurant.

And you were damn proud of yourself for that. You nurtured yourself on the faces of your guests when their head tilted slightly backwards, their eyes closed, and a soft moan escaped them as soon as they tried your meals. Alejandro himself had more than once interrupted himself from eating to cup your face in his hands and kiss you to thank you for your efforts.

Which is why the very words that came out of his mouth hit you like a train dead on.

Granted, he didn't say them to you directly, you overheard him on accident the previous day while he was talking on the phone. You didn't mean to eavesdrop, but he wasn't being secretive either. He was sitting in the living room, and the conversation was quite light-hearted, so you assumed that the topic was nothing related to his work. You still kept quiet, sneaking behind him to grab a book you had meant to start reading for a while.

The conversation had shifted to meals, somehow, and it caught your attention immediately when he mentioned some of the meals you often made. It never failed to warm your heart when he gushed about your culinary skills.

"...I mean, I appreciate the effort because it's such a hassle to cook and they do it all from scratch, but a few times it felt like I was eating rations in the field."

...What?

He couldn't be talking about your food, right?

...Right?

He ended his sentence with a chuckle, and you just stood there, fingers grasping the spine of the book. Your eyes were fixed on the shelf as his conversation moved on, his voice fading from your perception.

There was a weight on your chest that expanded to the bottom of your stomach and to the middle of your head, settling right behind your eyes. Knowing what was to come, you left the book in its place and walked back to the room you'd come from, just as quietly as you'd arrived.

After twenty minutes or so, you emerged from your hiding place, face freshly washed and - hopefully - no traces of the little angst marathon you went through. Alejandro still sat in the living room, this time he was watching a rerun of some fútbol match, completely unaware of the beast he had unknowingly set loose.

You walked straight to the kitchen with a newfound determination, a mission if you will. After gulping two cups of water to rehydrate yourself - and a quick prayer to your late abuela for forgiveness for the crime you were about to commit - you put your hands to work. You usually took about two hours to cook, but you were sure that you would be over much quicker than that.

You carefully washed, sliced, and prepared the main ingredients, making sure that the meal would have everything necessary to look absolutely normal. You were akin to an explosives expert assembling a bomb, every step carefully calculated to achieve your goal.

The light scent of that escaped from the pot caught Alejandro's attention, and he robotically moved to set the table. You stole a glance at him, finding him eager and looking forward to dinner with a tiny grin on his face.

Estúpido mimado.

A few more minutes passed and the rice stew was ready. You looked at it, quite bland and lacking some colour, and knowing exactly how it would taste. Memories from a time long past flashed in your mind and you forced yourself to shoo them away. Carefully, you brought the pot to the table and filled two plates - Alejandro's, like always, had a extra spoonful.

You both sat down and started eating. You kept your eyes on your plate as you heard him chomp down eagerly, then quietly slow down until pulling to a stop. You tried your best not to break into a devilish smirk as he finally spoke to you.

"... Mi amor?" He sounded confused, if not a bit concerned, "the food tastes... Uh... Different than usual."

"...Yeah?," You quipped, knowing exactly what was wrong with the food, it wasn't just bland. It was sick dog level of blandness. No spices at all, no herbs, not even salt. "I tried a new recipe today."

"Uh, okay?," He frowned a bit, slowly pushing the food around with his plate, wondering how to tell you that he didn't like it one bit, "it just... It has no spices...?"

You can't contain your smirk this time, it felt like getting away with a crime. It was a criminal masterpiece.

"Pues claro, mi amor," your voice was sweet, but the mirth in your tone couldn't be hidden, and ran a shiver down his spine, "I wanted to emulate the flavour of the rations you seem to love so much."

Alejandro blinked once, twice, and felt his blood run cold. Had you heard him?

"Mi amor-" he began, but you interrupted him, pointing your spoon to his face.

"Escúchame bien Alejandro Vargas," you scolded him and he gulped and shut his mouth, sitting straight in his chair, "this kind of food would've been a banquet for me growing up. The sort of food I so lovingly dedicate myself to prepare everyday is the result of my dreams and desires from when I was a kid, and you disrespected that by acting como un estúpido mimado."

"Pero claro," you pitch raised and Alejandro had flashbacks of his own mamá whenever he got a scolding, "el señor put my meals at the same level of the rations he gets from the army, which I know how they taste like and don't you forget that," you accentuated every syllable with the spoon, which was still pointed at his face. Alejandro gulped as he watched you, and you continued on, "so I decided that you will eat this meal - all of it - and be thankful for every meal you receive from today on, mine or the army's, because making fun of the meals I so lovingly make for you is the same as making fun of me as a kid who got this only when there was something to celebrate. Entendido?"

"...Si, mi vida," Alejandro stated with a nod, feeling like a little kid under your harsh glare, "cada palabra."

"Good," you nodded, and carried on with eating your own meal, "que sea la última vez."

Alejandro took a few seconds to carry on with his meal, making a mental note to bring you a bouquet of flowers in the morning with your breakfast.

more like Dilf by Daylight am i right fellas

Stick with me solider

I’m feeling very angsty today bc of a random thought i had and also ive just really in my feels listening to sad music lol

Also there will be no shipping, just a worried 141

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Basic summary: WAHHHHHHHHHH DJSJSKKDKD SOB SOB VERY LOUD SOBBING HEAD BANGING ON WALL NOISE

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Your leg bounced as your mind raced, you were trying so hard to keep your composure but it was so difficult.

Today was your first day in 141 and you were already experiencing extreme anxiety and stress, you were out with the top dogs and you want to scare them away with thinking your a fucking baby?

You took a deep breath and looked to the right side of you, looking for some sort of comfort in the harsh blowing wind.

You felt a hand on your shoulder which made you jerk out of your unconsciousnesses, you looked the left to see Sargent Mactavish with a concerned look on his face.

“You ok bud?” “Oh, uh yea.. yea I’m ok..” “you sure?” “Yea it’s just the nerves y’know?” “You’re one of the best shooters we have! What has you so nervous?”

You sighed again deeply, “it’s just..” “Alright this is it boys, get the fuck off my helicopter” a gruff voice commanded.

You took off the restraints and hopped off the helicopter. What an absolute save. You walked behind the group.

Just not wanting to be in their way, “alright, this is where we spilt up boys.. ghost and y- wait where’s y/n?”

“Right here sir” “alright, ghost and y/n, you two will take the left, me n soap will take the right. Got it?”

“Yes sir” you and ghost said in unison. Holding your guns to your chest, you and ghost jogged off to the left.

You and ghost both reached a house, an eerie silence falling between the both of you. ”stick close c/n” (i personally think that ghost would give you a simple nickname like what he did with soap).

“Yes sir”, you two slowly walked inside the building. You made sure that there was nothing hiding in the corners of every room.

After a bit of looking around, ghost finally have the “clear” signal and led you out of the house. The sudden sound of bullets being shot made you quickly turn your head to where they were coming from.

Ghost grabbed you and pulled you down for cover behind a large rotten fallen tree. Ghost pointed his gun to where he thought the shooter was at.

You quickly understood what you had to do, you too pointed your gun to where you remember the shots came from.

Through your scope, you managed to shoot directly towards one of the shooters. Ghost once again grabbed you by the shoulder and pulled you to a different location.

A stray bullet from one of the enemies made their way and dug into the side of your chest. You grabbed onto ghost’s forearm for dear life. Not wanting to let go of reality.

Slowly, your eyes drooped and you grew weak. You lost sight of everything and the last thing that you could hear was ghost telling you that you guys were halfway there.

“STICK WITH ME SOLDIER”

You quickly opened your eyes, consuming as much air as you could. Once you relaxed a bit you looked around yourself.

You were in a bright, endless void. You looked down, you were awfully pale. You seemed like a ghost almost.

This was it, this was the start of your new life. In an endless void, alone. Just as a singular tear was about to fall from your eye.

A voice called out to you, you sadly looked behind you only to see your mother in a the distance. (If you have a bad relationship with your mother then I’m really sorry)

She was also awfully pale, her face was blurred to the point where you almost didn’t recognize her.

“Mom?” You asked, after 7 years of not seeing her, this was your chance. Your eyes filled to the brim with tears, you watched as your mom (ha) opened her arms.

Waiting for you to embrace her, you finally broke down and embraced her love. Your loud sobs echoed throughout the void.

You wrapped your arms around your mom, holding onto her like she was going to leave you. She let you sob onto her shoulder, letting you take out all your frustrations in the form of tears off your back.

After a solid 30 minutes had passed, she pulled you away. You looked at her with tears covering your up your vision.

“I love you so much y/n, but it’s not your time yet.” You sniffled, you knew what that sentence meant.

“I love you momma” “i love you too sweetie”

In just a blink of an eye, you were back in reality. The sound of loud yelling caught your attention. You sat up with a slight pain in your chest, you groaned but pulled yourself together and walked out of your room.

You peaked into the room next to yours, ghost and soap were arguing about something while gaz was absolutely sobbing his heart out onto Price’s shoulder.

You knocked on the open door, wanting to get the attention of the 4 guys who were all having emotional rollercoasters going on in their head.

They all turned their head to see.. you.. alive :D !!!

They all pounced on you and hugged you as tight as they could, not ever wanting to let go of you. You quietly suffered in the tight embrace of all of them but didn’t complain.

You were happy you were able to see another day..

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I was listening to become the warm jets while writing this and started crying

Anyways..

THIS ISNT GHE HUGE POST I WAS TALKING ABT

There is another post coming out abt 5 guys railing one guy (aka you) which is the huge post i was talking abt

ALSO I WANNA THANK YOU ALL FOR MAKING ME GET OVER 290+ WTF

YALL ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Alrighty: no beta read we die like Horangi x König ship posts on Twitter

I made a story and for those who do not like small angst or are not comfortable with illness can read that lol

Warnings: Mention of schizophrenia, small angst

You cursed as you ran towards Price‘s office. Soap had pulled a prank on you by turning back your clock…by 3 fk hours. Price had been in a very bad mood lately Duo to you failing at a mission that had been very important. The entire task 141 hated you already and you cannot really say that anyone else liked you. Price had called you to their office today but ofc you were late. Your illness has been catching up on you.

schizophrenia

You got it diagnosed but refused to take your pills often since they were super expensive. You took one half a day ago and wanted to get this over with soon. You did not know how much longer it would work.

You knocked on the door only to be greeted with a stern voice. “Come in. Now.” That definitely was not a good way to start.

You entered making sure the door closed silent. You looked at price him only pulling up your file. Ghost was next to him he gave Price some more files. You could see others faces on it. _He is going to replace you_ You shrugged that one off hoping it was just your inner voice.

Before you could even say anything Price suddenly screamed at you, you even saw Ghost flinch a bit. ( you and ghost are neutral in this storyline bc I said so. Also the 141 does not actually hate you that is just c/n telling themselves)

“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PROBLEMS YOUR STUPIDITY CAUSED ALL OF US?!”

“I-“

“I AM GIVING YOU ONE LAST CHANCE! DO NOT DARE TO FACE ME AGAIN UNTIL YOU EITHER DECIDED I COULD BRING IN SOMEONE MORE USEFUL THAN YOU OR YOU BECAME USEFUL.”

You would have lied by saying that you were ok. Hell you were sure Ghost could see you shivering. You had to do smt so you just ran out. You just ran. As fast and as far as you could.

“Look who is running.” “The fuck.” “Hey what are you doing crybaby.” Suddenly 13-15 voices started talking in your head. You wanted to scream at them. You suddenly felt watched. “C/N wait!” You heard Price. “Soldier!” Ghost’s voice spoke.

No. Not now. You cannot face them. Stupid voices. It was all too loud and too scary. You wanted to take a step back only to noticed you were on the edge of a cliff.

A few minutes back into Price’s office:

“Fuck.” Price just said. He knew what he just did was terrible. He knew you were not useless but he was too stressed and was not thinking about what he was saying. “I will look for him.” Ghost said before making his way to the door. Price noticed a white box( package whatever you would keep pills in) on the ground. Ghost picked it up and read out loud- “schizophrenia- Price!” Never had the Captain ever jumped off his seat so fast. Chasing after you.

Now back to you

You heard every voice in your head telling you to still take that step. You started hallucinating. Small but duo to your situation convincing enough to make you step back. You already felt arms wrap around you, pulling onto safe grounds. The next pair of arms wrapped around you. They held you tight. So very tight. “Y/N…”

No words were needed that day.

141 took notice of your illness and made sure to help you out.

Price and Ghost would make sure there was always one person with you.

They also made sure you got more time of.

Or different scenario for people who are not comfy with small Angst:

You were new and small and ofc scared

Price trained some Rookies, you included

He was a rather rash teacher so when you failed at doing something duo to you being so small( or at least not a fk giraffe. ) he got mad

He screamed at you for not having trained enough

It would be no lie if you said you avoided him to your death

Even when you passed each other you would make sure there was a huge space between you two

Price would later realize why you avoided him and most definitely would give a flowers as an apology

Old man would scream at the others

Ghost would cover your ears and then calmly explain you how to do it right.

I got a Wesker bean in the mail today he’s so shape