Sorry Freaks I Saw An Owl On The Walk. Gotta Owlpost

Hey how come the truck automatically locks when it explodes and bursts into flames

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Trying to frame pro-Luigi "punks" negatively by sharing that they *checks notes* hate pedophiles is hilarious

Percy: so let me just get this clear, Leo speaks three languages, he's super tech savvy, and he's in AP math classes.

Leo: pretty much, yeah.

Percy: and Solace over here is like number one professional doctor with years of training and actual practice.

Will: I'm kinda cheating with the magic, but I read the books to make sure.

Percy: meanwhile Reyna, Jason, Hazel and Frank were/are a teenage war general. That must had required something.

Reyna, jason, Hazel and Frank: way too much leadership skills.

Percy: Calipso can make clothes from scratch, and how to grow her own food.

Calipso: I do.

Percy: Nico knows like six languages. And had years of playing video games.

Nico: I know Italian, Latin, Greek, English, and a little bit of French, so like, four and a half.

Percy: Annabeth gained architectural experience when she designed the fucking Olympus.

Annabeth: that was awesome.

Percy: Piper have a famous father, and she speaks French.

Piper: I don't like to talk about it.

Percy: all of you people are actually useful in the mortal world. I am wanted for arson.

I can’t stop thinking about the uhc shooter and what a wild experience he must be having right now. Idk how much you can look at the news or scroll the internet while on the run for murder, but man. Imagine. You spend who knows how long planning a brazen public assassination, cleanly pop a dude in the middle of one of the busiest downtowns in the world, bike away fueled by nothing but the thrill of vengeance and some Starbucks, and spark one of the largest manhunts in recent history. And when you finally go online to see what you’ve wrought, the entire world is laugh reacting NYT headlines and has collectively decided that you’re off the hook this time, king.

Then pictures of your face get released 24 hours later and everyone is like actually this guy did nothing wrong AND he’s hot.

Source: poeticalphotos

Will Solace calling Octavian an anemic loser as if his boyfriend hasn’t like 50 undiagnosed conditions

people keep trying to make "ladies and gentlemen" more inclusive.

I think we should go the other way around.

make more and more weird false dichotomies in greetings. "gamers and pianists". "oil painters and swordsmen". "vexillologists and entomologists". "chess masters and diamond artificers". "accountants and gendered individuals".

we need to be dropping shit into formal meetings to make people say "wait what? which one am I?"