Coffee's First Fics Circa 2023

Vulnerable Hannibal Fic Rec List

New addition (located @ the bottom of the page) as of 9/24/2024!

On my previous post, people were interested in finding fics where Hannibal is touch-starved and or dealing with separation anxiety post-fall. So here is a small list of some that may fit that theme! The first five fics are mine, but the rest are some of my favorite fics I’ve ever read that feature vulnerable Hannibal in various seasons, AUs, and post-canon. This list will be updated intermittently!

The Ache Against The Wind (Rewritten): He’d sustained a substantial amount of brain damage throughout the last eleven days, Will had been told. Resulting in Post-Traumatic Amnesia. (Hannibal is tortured in the BSHCI via beatings, laxatives, enemas, starvation and the “water curing” method after his toilet is removed. Will saves him).

Pareidolia: Six weeks post-fall, Hannibal suffers from a seizure during dinner.

Je Te Laisserai Des Mots: Six months have passed since Will pulled them over the cliff. Even in light of their progressing relationship, much of Hannibal still remains a mystery to Will. For reasons unknown, he’s begun to pull away. (A sequel to Shrike; my housewife Hannibal fic!)

Between The Hour Of Reprieve:

At the cliff house, Hannibal receives a much-needed-hug. (features crying, touch-starved Hannibal).

Shrike (To Your Sharp And Glorious Thorn): Hannibal feels anxious about the prospect of Will abandoning him one day because he isn’t at all capable of being like Molly. His anxiety only heightens when Will gets a job. (features crying housewife Hannibal speaking Lithuanian).

A Cabin In The Woods by KoolJack1: Hannibal is thirteen and runs away from the orphanage when he feels that a fate of the elements will be better than the fate of abuse. He finds a small cabin in the woods, thinking warmth will be all he finds. He also finds Will. But who changes who?

Recipricol Alchemy by Scifibabe: In the silent echoes of his dreams, Will Graham treads a line blurred between control and chaos, each step drawing him inexorably towards claiming Hannibal as his own. It's a perilous dance on the edge of darkness, where the thrill of possession whispers of a transformation too profound to resist.

Hold Me, Don’t Let Me Go by sourweather: It's a few months after the Fall when it finally hits him. Hannibal has barely been touched in 3 years. And Will won't let it go on for another moment.

Hosanna In The Highest by sainthannibal: During the fall, Hannibal receives the brunt of the injuries, which leaves him unable to care for himself. Will discovers how much he enjoys taking care of him.

You Made Me Soup by itsybitsylemonsqueezy: Hannibal comes down with pneumonia while incarcerated. Will decides to make him some soup. Absolutely no one thinks it's strange that Will comes to give his ex soup when he finds out he's sick. No one at all finds this suspicious. At. All.

The Boy Under The Monster’s Bed by Wr4tttttthh: There were deep wounds that needed healing, new and old, physical and otherwise. (features crying, vulnerable Hannibal).

Delicate Ghost by hannigramcracker & TimmyJayBird: She was different- not the ghost of his memories, but something about this bloodied child ripped right at Hannibal's chest, and left him drowning in a cold snow he thought he had left in his childhood, that he had locked away within his skull. Drowning, with only one hand to grasp at, one body to cling to. One man to work him through the trauma and remind him what life was.

You With Those Nails, Me With This Cross by TheBitterKitten:

Will goes too far.

The Distance Is Quite Simply Much Too Far For Me To Row by softhan: Hannibal is having a rough time recovering from his injuries post-fall, and retreats into himself to avoid confrontation with Will while he's still weak and ill. Having to play happy husbands hardly helps.

Silk and Lace by jonnimir: Bedelia leaves Hannibal and Will a gift at the house on the cliff.

*sniffling into my sleeve and wiping tears from my eyes* STOP ILYSM YOU ARE SO SWEET AND TALENTED AS WELL 🥹🩵

reblog if you have skilled writer friends and you're damn proud of them

Post-Fall Hannibal and Will are at a gathering (to blend in), and Hannibal's stomach is still sensitive. They've just finished dinner and Hannibal's stomach is gurgling and bloated. They're standing around, sipping on wine glasses. Hannibal sets a half-empty glass on the nearest table. He's desperate to find a bathroom yet doesn't want to cause a scene, mostly because it may upset Will. He excuses himself and scans the room in hopes of finding a bathroom; all the while barely able to breathe past the sharp pain burrowing beneath each rib. He knows something is bound to come out one way or another. Each step becomes less stable. His pulse is thrumming loud enough to drown out the rest of the world and Will's footsteps. He gasps when a set of fingers curl around one wrist.

"Where are you going?" Will asks. He notices rising panic wash over Hannibal's features--a foreign sight.

Hannibal's stomach clenches, wrenching free a whimper. "Bathroom, please." He won't be able to control it much longer. He knows and doesn't want to cause a scene, much less shit himself in front of Will. He blinks past a sting of fresh tears, accent thickening. "Will, I-I need a bathroom."

Then, Will softens in understanding and leads Hannibal away from the crowd (first, asking a waiter where the nearest bathroom is; unfortunately, upstairs). Hannibal is sweating now, palm sliding against Will's own and finger's trembling in their squeeze. He's gentle when the need arises; when Hannibal's footsteps begin to slow and whimpers become a constant background noise; when Hannibal needs to brace himself against the nearest concrete wall, and wrap an arm around a swollen and aching belly; when Hannibal's knees begin to shake.

"Will," Hannibal rasps, voice curling around an emerging sob. "I won't make it. Too far."

opening my AO3 inbox with a brand new (1) and finding out it's a scammer trying to commission fanart is so disheartening 😭💔

"They also psychologically torture each other but it’s mainly just for enrichment in their cage. Will knows hannibal will go crazy and start eating the drywall if he’s bored even a second so he deliberately instigates shit and causes situations just so hannibal has a project."

LMFAO THAT IS SO TRUE

god, i loved everything you shared and touched on!!

"I do honestly think it’s touchy as hell right away too. On the cliff a dam is definitely broken and there is a kind of physical contact and intimacy there hasn’t been before, and I think once they start touching there’s no reigning that back in. I definitely think a first kiss would be initiated by will because funnily enough even though he doesn’t have it early on, by that point hannibal almost has a strange insecurity with him-he is deeply vulnerable to rejection from him and I think would be afraid of pushing especially now. That being said, I think it would happen very quickly, within the first day, and it’s as natural as breathing. They’re already in each others space, clinging to each other for warmth, survival, coming down from the high of everything, treating their wounds, at some point it goes from just breathing in each others air to being connected. They’ve begun to blur. I’m extremely soft about them showering together, sleeping intertwined, in the days after. There’s just such a peace after the hollow ache that has been there for both of them for so long. I do think it is an interesting stretch for will to spend with hannibal because he starts to see him in a much more vulnerable light. He starts to be more of just a man to him, a man that he loves, that wakes up from nightmares or has flashes of insecurity he starts to recognize, that has strange little fussy habits and preferences that make will feel fond."

WAILING MY BOOTY OFF BECAUSE SAME 😭🩵 Helping each other shower post-fall and Will seeing Hannibal in a new light (when he's feeling vulnerable or insecure or when Hannibal's severe touch starvation is made apparent) is my bread and butter <3 also i agree about the amount of murdering they would do, because it would be so fun for them to do together, but at the same time, their freedom and ability to be with each other would be more important. ALSO ALSO HANNIBAL BURNING FOOD BECAUSE HE'S DISTRACTED BY WILL IS SUCH A SCRUMPTIOUS HEADCANON!!!

i would love to hear more of your thoughts on Hannibal and Will's post-fall relationship (and maybe even Hannibal being more emotional in contrast to how most of fandom sees him, because i very much agree with you on that)!! honestly, feel free to ramble to your heart's content because i love all your takes on them <3

Yippie!! Wahoo!!

Okay on Hannibal being more emotionally driven than people think. The thing is I think he’s actually basically in emotional overload at all times. This is a man that feels everything INTENSELY at any given time. Art is life changing and euphoric to the point of sitting by it and recreating it every single day. Good music brings genuine tears of emotion. Love is akin to devotion for him, it transcends everything. He has very specific coping mechanisms and ways he has learned to be BECAUSE of this, the way people learn to mask the aspects of themselves that they feel are deficient.

So much of his hedonism is a combination of intense love of everything life has to offer and the fact that it’s a double edged sword. Feeling everything intensely equally makes it so he is unable to sit with unpleasant feelings or things. Having gone through the early years of his life with the constant of fear, pain, loss, hunger, cold, discomfort, magnified by 1000 in someone who everything is exceptionally intense for, there is a clawing hunger for only the best of everything, to not be having a bad time ever for even a second. He will not suffer boredom, humiliation, indignity, without a disproportionately volatile and impulsive response. He’s a ticking bomb easily set off, he’s just learned to hide it. Anyone truly apathetic wouldn’t care about the whole rude thing, it would fly completely over their head.

It’s a through line in every version of media made about him that one key component of his character is that he is very capable of love and that it’s a driving force for him. I think he has a much greater depth of feeling for people than average, and those he does love and consider family are on the receiving end of absolute devotion and adoration, but again, it is a double edged sword. With the ability to love that deeply there is also the ability to feel intense disappointment, alienation, disgust, etc about people. His love is above and beyond the average persons, but his feelings of dislike and therefor apathy are disproportionate as well.

Many of his kills aren’t completely random or unfeeling- they are people that inspire negative emotions such as politicians that try to destroy the nature and beauty in the world, doctors that are cruel and derogatory to their patients, academics that are deliberately exclusionary and condescending, in general people that in his eyes actively make the world a worse place. He cannot stand ugliness because what is a minor inconvenience to the average person is blindingly unspeakably ugly to him.

This isn’t to say he doesn’t still kill people that don’t fit in this category- there’s very much two types. Those he kills because they make the world a worse place and in his eyes don’t deserve the beauty of life, and those that are just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I think the second category falls into a weird place in terms of his empathy- I’m just spewing thoughts here but I think he has this weird thing going on that he has suffered about as much as a person can and still finds life joyful and even feels that he’s better for it, is even excited and compelled by the idea of his own death, that he just genuinely doesn’t think what he’s doing is that bad. He’s the boomer parent going “well back in my day I walked 50 miles through the snow to school” except it’s back in my day this this this and this happened and I’ve seen the ugliest the world has to offer and I’m keenly aware of it, so getting your arm chopped off and being gaslight really isn’t that bad, maybe you’ll even be better for it and see the world through new eyes/become something more beautiful for it! Isn’t that exciting! He even thinks death is exciting and a beautiful change in its own way, so it doesn’t phase him. The smaller fish is eaten by the bigger fish and the bigger fish will someday get got by the shark and as the bigger fish he is perfectly capable of empathy for the smaller one, even does see himself in its shoes, but sees it just as a beautiful cycle of life that will happen to him someday too and it isn’t at all a bad thing to have experienced it and been a part of something. How wonderful, for it all to have meaning. But in general I don’t think he does anything he does without empathy-he just does it anyways. “Extreme acts of cruelty require a high degree of empathy.”

All this isn’t to say that he doesn’t have times that he does shut off his empathy at will, or behave deeply apathetically, but it’s very much a learned skill. There is a feral dog, a volatile child, an open wound of a person deep down but age and rigidly practiced self control have given him the ability to repress things and control his reactions in a way someone who does not struggle with that simply never would. In the way someone who struggles deeply socially might practice and overcompensate to the point of becoming excellent public speakers and social butterflies, he has crafted himself a person suit that is calm, always rational, collected and emotionless to serve him as he makes his way through the world. He’s almost a matryoshka of person suits. The first layer the world sees is the charming kind social butterfly that is perfectly normal. The second, the unfeeling sociopath, the monster. But that’s just another suit intentionally stitched to serve him. The third, further down, as I said, is the emotional burn victim whom every metaphorical breeze is a severe sensation. He is a master of repressing pain- whether it be no reaction to physical torture or violence, or over a decade of repressed memories, he takes pride in being able to control the volatile beast within and letting it out just enough. He actually is pretty successful with this for a long time! But of course will bursts his way into his life and breaks down those walls just enough that it’s like dominos and his grip on all of it starts to loosen.

SO. Pivoting onto post fall relationship.

I do think there’s a total acceptance of that vulnerability at that point. Some people see him as still having walls or even being resentful towards will but I really don’t think he is. I think he’s just genuinely euphoric that they are together and that there is family and peace and unconditional love at last. I think one of his biggest driving forces is a desire for genuine true all accepting-unconditional love. If I did the worst will you still love me. He’s definitely the bitch asking if you’d still love him if he was a worm. That was really the whole thing with Abigail in season 2-if you think I killed her will you still be able to love me and accept me. The tragedy of it is without Abigail will probably would have been able to forgive everything else but Hannibal needed to know even if he did the worst, that nothing would be enough to sever them. So now that he really does have that I see him as a deeply content cat purring and basking by wills side.

I do honestly think it’s touchy as hell right away too. On the cliff a dam is definitely broken and there is a kind of physical contact and intimacy there hasn’t been before, and I think once they start touching there’s no reigning that back in. I definitely think a first kiss would be initiated by will because funnily enough even though he doesn’t have it early on, by that point hannibal almost has a strange insecurity with him-he is deeply vulnerable to rejection from him and I think would be afraid of pushing especially now. That being said, I think it would happen very quickly, within the first day, and it’s as natural as breathing. They’re already in each others space, clinging to each other for warmth, survival, coming down from the high of everything, treating their wounds, at some point it goes from just breathing in each others air to being connected. They’ve begun to blur. I’m extremely soft about them showering together, sleeping intertwined, in the days after. There’s just such a peace after the hollow ache that has been there for both of them for so long.

I do think it is an interesting stretch for will to spend with hannibal because he starts to see him in a much more vulnerable light. He starts to be more of just a man to him, a man that he loves, that wakes up from nightmares or has flashes of insecurity he starts to recognize, that has strange little fussy habits and preferences that make will feel fond.

I was talking the other day that I feel like Will will sort of enjoy getting things for him but he’ll be so particular about how hannibal gets only the best. He’ll grumble all the way about it but go out of his way to get exactly the right coffee beans, tea leaves, flowers, etc for him. And it’s not even that hannibal cares, he would love anything from will! But it’s important to will that his beloved has exactly what he wants and likes. Of course will is ridiculously possessive, we know that, and it’s only amplified post fall. Hannibal is the most precious thing he has and of how he treats his dogs is any indication, he is VERY particular about what hannibal gets. I also think he’s spent so long wanting/trying to hurt him, there’s a particular delight in wanting to please him, to see him delighted and it’s because of HIM. Oh and if he gave something that hannibal could wear, the fucking power trip of that kind of claim on him.

I think they teach each other things a lot too. I love will teaching him fishing, and loving Hannibal’s undivided attention and how much hannibal wants to be involved in wills interests, and in turn will dabbles in cooking and music and such. They often cook together, although hannibal starts burning things more often than he ever has in his entire life because will gets very randy about him in the kitchen. And there’s absolutely nothing to unpack there, no sir!

Of course they do murder stuff, I mean. It’s them. But I think less and less as the life they’ve carved out together is too important to risk drawing attention, so it’s a special date night treat rather than Hannibal’s manic look at me come catch me flurry in Europe.

They also psychologically torture each other but it’s mainly just for enrichment in their cage. Will knows hannibal will go crazy and start eating the drywall if he’s bored even a second so he deliberately instigates shit and causes situations just so hannibal has a project. There’s a lot more honesty though when it really matters, the mind games and lying are mostly just a weird sex thing for them, they know where they’re at at the end of it. Hannibal also is running Pavlov-esque experiments on whatever dogs will gets just as something to do and will is begrudgingly okay with it as long as it’s harmless.

Hannibal’s social life is bad because will acts like a deranged lunatic going “you know other men????” Anytime he mentions like. The mailman. But he’s okay with it because will is all that he actually needs and the only person he actually cares to talk to-as long as will still goes with him to parties and operas because if he doesn’t get his little nights out on the town he will kill everyone and then himself. Relationships, it’s all about balance.

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ “To the truth, then… and all its consequences.”

mutuals. c'mere. this is a checkpoint. i am checking in. i am wrapping you in a blanket and giving you a nice warm drink. also some pretty flowers. it will be ok.

a year or two post-fall, Will and Hannibal are content and married. one morning, Will time travels a few years in the past due to universal magic and ends up at Hannibal’s dining table, prepared to experience their last shared meal during Mizumono. though this time, Will notices the telltale cracks in Hannibal’s veneer because he can read his husband’s every tell better than anyone else—even Hannibal himself. Will realizes Hannibal must've dabbed on concealer to hide the fact that he's been crying. all it takes is a gentle murmur of “have you been crying, cher?” from Will and Hannibal is a goner—snot-nosed and sobbing into Will's shoulder.

Oh my God can I first off just say how much I LOVE your writing, I’m so happy to have found someone else who likes to write and read about vulnerable Hannibal. I look forward to your fics so much, seriously they make my entire week (even if they make me really sad, I usually hope for some sort of a happy ending with your fics even with all the work it takes them to get there. Love vulnerable Hannibal, but also love even more seeing him get the care and love he deserves!!)

Anyways, I can’t stop thinking about Hannibal keeping himself covered up around Will post-fall, and Will doesn’t understand why until he one day walks in on Hannibal changing, and seeing he’s become so skinny from his time in the BSHCI. It makes Hannibal feel dysmorphic because it reminds him of when he starved as a child. Will misses when Hannibal had some softness on his stomach, and promises (either out loud or just to himself) that Hannibal will never want for anything when it comes to food.

oh my god!!! ILY WHOEVER YOU ARE!! first,

*wipes tears from my eyes*

omg thank you so much for your kind words!! you are so sweet and i am so glad you enjoy my fics, that is the sweetest compliment ever. <3 also omg if you write fics as well, i'd love to read yours, too!!

second, the prompt??

I AM AAAHHHHHCKTUALLY SCREAMING THIS IS EVERYTHING!! God, the thought of Hannibal feeling dysmorphic after becoming skinny in the BSHCI is making me weep and I haven't even written it yet. 😭 Then Will realizing Hannibal is feeling dysmorphic because of it?? I wail. I weep. You are on some genius-level-thinking for coming up with that prompt.

The only question I have is: do you want the reason for Hannibal's weight loss to be because he grew disinterested in eating because of depression or because he was deprived of food? 👀