One Topic I Feel Like Doesn’t Get Talked About Enough In Hetalia Is Weird Deaths. Like Since They Have

HETALIA OFFICE MASTERPOST

Lol you know The Office? Its good but what if it was like,,, H e t a l i a?

ALLIES

America: Baaaaasically Michael from The Office. He likes leading and cares about the team, but can be a little… out of hand… sometimes. Canada: He sits in the corner and no one knows he’s there, but he’s always pulling his weight in projects. China: Always calling for tech support. Always. It annoys the heck out of whomever’s sitting next to him. France: Is the one who “accidentally” sends an email around to the people at the office which has “inappropriate” content.  England: Getting up in arms because either America’s being incompetent or he’s fed up with France’s nonsense. Russia: “It’d be a shame if something were to happen, da?” (he doesn’t work well with other people, too many HR complaints).

AXIS

Germany: He isn’t the boss but he is the annoying backseat driver who isn’t even second in command. Italy: “Lets go to a ✨𝒌𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒐𝒌𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒓✨ after all this guys and someone else can pay!!!11!!” Japan: Forgets about the work and is watching anime with his screens turned away from everyone else.

BALTICS

Estonia: Guess who’s 𝓣𝓮𝓬𝓱 𝓢𝓾𝓹𝓹𝓸𝓻𝓽 👁️ 👄 👁️ Lithuania: “Okay you want me to do that? I’ll do it just dont fire me pls dont” Latvia:"Hey boss what about the fact that you’re doing it wrong?”

EASTERN EUROPE

Romania: Actually does the work but doesn’t tell anyone when he’s done so he can sneak off and do whatever Bulgaria: Microsoft paint obsessed Ukraine: Cares for everyone like the epic mom friend she is Belarus: She doesn’t work there. She’s just there. And so far no one’s had balls enough to tell her to go.

MEDITERRANEAN EUROPE

Spain: "Hey guys I know you didn’t ask but ill make you all lunch! It’s going to be pasta! For the fifteenth day in a row!” Romano: RAGEWORKRAGEWORKRAGEWORKRAGEWORK- Greece: That one person with the “hang in there bby” poster as well as countless cat photos in frames. He also does his work but he’s real quiet about it. Turkey: Likes to hang out by the water cooler and gossip. Cyprus: Best friends with Greece but works surprisingly well with Bulgaria (or, he does, after an incident of him stealing his yogurt). Vatican City: Keeps a bible with him but follows most things he’s told to do. Monaco: She’s a seceratary but only because she’s able to get out of more work that way.

NORDIC EUROPE

Denmark: Keeps a little box of “creativity legos” on his desk which he plays with. He works in Human Resources and loves it. Sweden: Takes orders for the company’s product and is very organized. Keeps a little picture of his family on his desk which he’ll talk to anyone about. Finland: Has his headphones on all the time and sCrEams at anyone who dare interrupt his work. He also coordinates all of the holidays around the office, as well as parties. Norway: He has a thing for the cute guy in HR and keeps trying to meet him “causally” over by the water cooler. Has a plasma ball on his desk because it looks cool. Iceland: His brother got him an unpaid internship (which he hates) and so he spends a lot of time complaining and texting Norway angry gifs while he goes and hangs out with others his age in the breakroom.

LOW COUNTRIES

Belgium: Brings in cookies for everyone every Monday.  Netherlands: Works with Sweden and the two of them have desks next to each other. He helps Sweden when he’s having a prank war with Denmark. Luxembourg: Some higher-up executive who comes down every once in a while to flaunt his awesome-ness and dole out orders.

CENTRAL EUROPE

Austria: Plays classical music off his computer but without earbuds b/c he doesn’t know how. He’s low-key annoying but doesn’t know it. Slovakia: Has the coolest mousepad ever. He also contributes a substantial amount to most meetings. Czechia: Set her space up to be the neatest in the office. She’s one of the more successful members. Hungary: Made a pinterest board of house ideas in her spare time which she makes Austria look at. She doesn’t really care about the work, she’s just there. Switzerland: Financials. He also calls home at 12pm every day to check in on his sister and make sure everything’s okay.  Poland: Decorated the fuck out of his cubicle. Prussia: Has a whole collection of weird-ass ties which he switches. Some say he’s never worn the same one twice!

ASIA

Hong Kong: Also interning, but he doesn’t hate it and takes it instead as an opportunity to take photos of people and make them either cursed or into memes. Macau: Is the second-in-command in the office and basically controls everything since america isn’t great at it. South Korea: Water cooler? He likes to hang out with Turkey. Thailand: Keeps a cool and ornate whiteboard which he likes to take notes on. Vietnam: “What do you mean I have to work with someone else?!?!?!” Taiwan: She works under Denmark in human resources and often has to resolve conflicts. India: Sometimes invites Vietnam to play chess with him online on their monitors.

AFRICA

Egypt: Stole some of Denmark’s legos without his knowledge so he could build too. He’s pretty bored even though he does everything. Seychelles: Sits by the window and doesn’t get her work done since she’s distracted. Cameroon: Playing pranks on Australia when he gets bored, mostly after he’s finished his work.

OCEANIA + CARIBBEAN

Australia: “OY MATE SO YA WANT TO FOIGHT??!!” (he’s on for that prank war) New Zealand: Sits next to Cyprus and sometimes falls asleep, but Cyprus thinks he’s *kinda* cute and doesn’t wake him. Other than that, he’s really good at running meetings. Cuba: Brings fancy chocolates or other things which he takes out to share with special people on special occasions. He’s pretty nonchalant but comes off as intimidating for some.

Happy new years from Greece! The ships are honking, fake guns are shot and fireworks are still going on.

I keep on forgetting that the first Olympics were in hetalia, but there are some weird ass stuff that have happened at the Olympics. For instance, the marathon in St. Louis (1904? I can’t search rn but I will later) there were so many people that died and one guy took a car and won but then he was disqualified.But in the first Olympics there was this one Greek who managed to win but he wasn’t even trained to run a marathon, he was just a water bearer who wore Traditional Greek clothes (wooden shoes and about 20 kilos amount of clothes) and I would really love to see the characters reaction to this. Or maybe when an Australian won a medal in Winter Olympics games because everyone else fell down.

europe is geniunely so funny i love you all

I feel like America is a shit driver mostly bc of one stupid moment in history. Back in 1895 in Ohio there were only two cars, in the whole fucking state the 2 cars managed to crash. And it’s not like they could go very fast back then, no you could walk faster than those cars. Literally every nation that drives makes fun of him but he doesn’t mind.

Just thinking about how psychotic Canada would be in Hetalia but especially in war.I’ll just give an example, in WW1 they used to take the small amount of POWs they had and dress them in goat skin and wool and send them to South America (I’m not sure if it’s correct but eh). Another one is that they invented the night trench raids and killed everything that breathed and stole everything. I’m just imagining a Canada covered in blood and shit he stole and England is looking at him like “This ain’t the dominion I raised”.

What language do the Nations speak in Hetalia?? Do they speak a common language that only Nations speak or a language that has or had influence many countries? Like do they speak Latin or something? I’m guessing they speak English, but it wouldn’t be shocking if they spoke any other common language.

I'm back, somewhat. I didn't post for a long time because I have been busy with school and I had no clue what to post. It isn't like I have many ideas now, but Whatever! I have been silent for so long, so why not bring it back now?

As an Athenian myself, I feel scared too. Like I live near the port of Pireaus as well so during the summer its a fucking nightmare. Nobody deserves a drivers license here-Like I have never felt safe in a car. 

completely random observation/recollection: Italians, specifically the ones living in Rome, were the least likely to follow traffic laws and yet also the least likely to have a wreck. like I'm dead serious, as far as skill goes, the Romans were easily the best drivers I've ever seen. WILDLY reckless and illegal, but in four months no one ever came close to hitting me even when I was being a fucking idiot.

meanwhile I was in Paris for an hour tops when someone nearly killed me as I was using the crosswalk while it was my turn to walk. then I saw a fenderbender happen down the street as one car very very veeeeery slowly tried to parallel park and just like methodically plowed into another car lmaoooo

Berlin's drivers were perfectly courteous and lawful, and never came close to hitting me even when I was being stupid (and they seemed to appreciate my pantomimed apologies, ty). The exception was one dude determined to drive his fucking Lamborghini or whatever it was despite being drunk off his ass; he was deeply offended that the police would take issue with this and was, for some reason, yelling "Do you know who I am?!" in heavily accented and slurred English. I have no idea why English was the chosen language here but I presume he was not local.

The Athenians... they scare me.

For Greece as well there are some weird surnames. Like my surname means lettuce if you translate it from greek to english. For some reason there are a lot of surnames in Greek that are just Fruits or Vegetables like Πεπόνης(Melon),Πατάτας (Potato) and so many more. I seriously forgot that Egypt has Gupta as part of his name like. HUH?? And also Belarus and Russia have names, why hasn’t Hima given us one for Ukraine? And lets not forget Denmark and the shitshow of a name that the fandom has given, like Hima has given a list of names and last names for him none of which are Matthias Køhler.  

Names in Hetalia are weird.Like I’m fine with some like Matthew Williams(Canada),but some others I’m confused. Ex. Alfred F. Jones. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THE F STAND FOR??Also we know that certain nations are related to one another, so why don’t they have the same last name? Is it bc of the different cultures, or something else? Also some names and last names are spelt wrong, for example Greece’s last name shouldn’t be Karpousi it should be Karpouzis (Καρπούζης). The one that annoys me the most Lithuanias. is it fucking Tolys or Toris. Most likely Tolys but I want to hear people tell me why it may be Toris.