complaineys

Latest Posts by complaineys

I think media needs more ambiguously queer relationships. Not just as in "non-heterosexual", but also as in "the structure of the relationship itself is queer". It goes beyond the bounds of conventional friendship, but they're not fucking about it. Or maybe they are. Maybe they kiss a few times, maybe they don't, but somehow it's not the most queer thing happening here. They've exchanged vows of love, but their actual relationship dynamic is inscrutable. Every orientation headcanon fits well within canon because they're never quite perfectly defined. Like, who knows what the fuck is happening there but whatever it is it's complex and confusing and woven into the universe itself

caring about people is very easy and you should do it often btw

dicks out friday

eight yo pussy

I miss the world before AI image generation

Secondly, I also miss the world where AI image generation was just incoherent blobs and obvious fakes

Thirdly, I miss when I had a spark in my eye

this is also why they’re so gayjts like a les miserables thing

The Bizly trope is GRIEF and a deeply internalised self-hatred.

There is either s gaping wound in their chest where a loved one was violently torn from their heart. OR a belief that they are something undeserving of love because destruction is all that they leave in their wake.

Volatile, lonely people in a world of glass that cuts deep.

dicks out friday

have not seen kevin lately but i forgot to text his case worker back abt smthn else and it’s rlly awkward to just be like “heeeeey sorry i dropped the ball on getting back to you is this guy alive and not incarcerated still?” so like i guess i’ll just see him next week.

im gonna start a charity that will pair every “i hate small talk, tell me something deep” man with a homeless or elderly person who doesn’t often get a chance to talk with people. them mfs do not mess around. today a man told me that i had received 11 thousand blessings in the span of my lifetime without knowing my fucking name. and do you wanna know what? kevin was right. i have.

writing porn is so hard. like. idk they hold hands. they yearn. he nuts in her. what do you want from me.

they have universal healthcare on afterforge

Br'aad got his top surgery done at ye olde Claires, Redd got his done by a sketchy guy in some random back alley, and Mountain did his himself

and Velrisa transitioned normally

yeah ok this sounds fun

we're going to have an OLDER BROTHER summer. we will be drinking MONSTER. we will be LIFTING WEIGHTS. we will be ignoring our MOM. we will be surviving off of CHIPS and NOODLES. we will NOT be SHOWERING. we will only be putting on AXE DEODORANT. we will be bothering PRETTY WOMEN and getting REJECTED. OLDER BROTHER SUMMER !!

dicks out friday

two of you asked @fishcop and @octolingo-writes (hiiii guys ilysm) and i’m on a lot of robitussin rn so here goes:

art analysis (cold medication hallucinogen jrwi fated relationship chart edition)

- go read the individual types of relationships. all of them are insane. some of them are only used once. some of them (lake blue, 90% grey, rose, lemon, carmine) were meant to be used only once, and then their very existence forced me to examine all the various ways that emotion or relation could be considered applicable or canonical. some of them don’t make any sense. some of them are very straightforward. go read them and make one of your own.

-go make one of your own. all of these charts will be different depending on the creator and how specific they get and what individual interpretations they bring to the characters stories. go make one. do it. get crazy. be normal. do it. tag me if you want, i wanna see it. this fandom is so small i’ll see it regardless of what you do probably. make one.

-the mothers and wives are at the top, with the gods, because i am examining relationships, not plot; and in stories and lives everywhere very few things are more important than mothers and wives- especially when their relationships are restricted by the way their husbands and sons deify and restrict them. what is a woman if not a force of reckoning. what is a god if not a human’s hungry demands. what is a daughter if not a promise to be both. maybe that’s why there aren’t any daughters with mothers in the fated. maybe jared was scared of what they’d be.

-the gods relationships are absent unless they truly serve as humans when they interact. the storyteller is a plot point, a narrative device. ungaroh is an antagonist, an ending scene, a concept. for the purpose of this, they mean nothing. they are plot. i do not care about plot here. i care about plot in very few places. the interesting shit is the people- and they are easy (impossible) to understand, too. i included the gods on the paper for the purpose of excluding them in what matters.

-the narrative haunters and the salvation paths get represented differently (crosshatching and dotted or trailing paths) but the colors are similar because the ideals are similar. the same is true with the devotion of love (mahogany, the top line in the codex) and the feeling of bitterness (raspberry red- a little brighter, a little pinker, but hard to distinguish, especially in pictures).

-i stole the idea for crosshatching the doomed ones and the haunters (slate grey) from kurt vonnegut. “the destruction of dresden was represented by a vertical band of crosshatching, and all the lines that were still alive passed through it, came out the other side.” (go read slaughterhouse five.) so if you want to really get inside my brain on this one, you should try and look at how names and space are encircled or overwhelmed by the grey. usually it’s for people who died, because jared had a real knack for killing- literally or just conversationally cutting down- societally “othered” characters. sometimes it’s just used over a name to say “what would they have been if they hadn’t been treated like mothers and wives? like monsters? like statues? what would they have been if they’d been complex?” other times, it’s a barrier. other times, it’s just true: doomed from the start and barricaded in all relationships behind that doom- but still reaching through it in that strange, pale, ghostly way.

-similarly, a lot of the negative emotions get angular edges. a lot of the positive ones get curvy ones. there are several modifiers to this formula. one: straight lines should not indicate a straightforward or close relationship, but physical distance sometimes does. the exception to this is for the pc’s at center: we see all their relationships to each other up close and personal. straight lines mean simplicity and comprehension for them. often, that makes the relationships simpler. take mountain and hilda, who we never see interact: he deifies her, her mourns her, she is or at least was his reason to live, and in many ways that pedestal she’s kept on is simultaneously why she is a form of salvation and why she’ll never get to be a real, multifaceted character. the lines will never quite reach. but, like. mountain and sylnan? we see them go drinking, we see them argue, we see them in combat. they’re friends in the worst and most unlikely of places. it’s violent. it’s a little unhealthy. it’s honest. it’s devoted. sometimes it’s a little bit closeted. within that, all those visible complications, it’s simple: they are friends in the worst and most unlikely of places. that visibility of their relationship covers so much because speculation is close to impossible- we know so much.

modifier two: the misogyny lines are curvy- not because they’re gentle, but because they’re all-encompassing, encircling. taking it back to color for a second: the “dioxazine” (or however its spelled im on my phone i dont wanna scroll back up to the pic) purple reads as blackish here but its purple irl, especially in light, and i chose it for a) velrisa and oriana b) because it’s pretty and c) because as a color it overshadows so much else on the page. the lemon yellow i use for a relationship of destruction i chose because it hurts to look at. purple is just the opposite- it’s woven into everything. it’s easy on the eyes. it’s as natural in the picture as it was in the podcast. that should scare you. it dissolves in some places. it’s bold and bright in others. if i made this picture again i’d probably add more- the love and labor of women is wasted and missed and dismissed time and time again.

-the curly lines (see above, misogyny) are used for encompassing concepts- themes and feelings that entertwine and encircle. the fated love each other, as awkward and clumsyfooted as they are about it. i drew the vine-like circle around them (mahogany red, devoted love) as my second thing on this page, and for a while as i made it you could see the start of each path leading out from each character.

-that’s most of it. everything else is just kind of there if you look and i think the interpretation there is sorta fun so rehashing it here wastes time for most of us. sylnan and br’aad are brendan’s reasons to live, and whether you interpret the crosshatch for destruction as him towards them or them towards him it’s true. velrisa’s destruction and salvation are both in her being disowned, and she and ander are each other’s reason to keep going, so their entire relationship is framed in salvation (90% grey) because it’s a mutual thing. ugarth is encircled in 921 orange because in another world he’d have lived. oriana’s doomed narrative crosshatching is covered by these dioxazine spirals i made, because the misogyny is what really doomed her. there’s an old man yaoi (process red) line between ander and mountain, because it’s my relationship chart n i say so. there’s a question mark about whether or not velrisa’s family would have worked out with her in another life for the same reason that she has a relationship of deification, destruction, and salvation with them despite not one of them having names- there are so many unknowns we can’t even hope that in another world she would have stayed a happy little fisherman’s daughter. there’s a sexually charged hatred line between jacquot and sylnan/mountain for all that fag shit during the kidnapping in episode like 11.5. so it goes.

this is the most important thing:

song of solomon 6:3 -neon orange- was the first relationship line i drew. i traced over it again and again, and scrubbed away all the places where other lines overlapped it.

that is all.

i’d love to blame this on cold medicine and isolation later, but i did this with such earnestness i refuse to let myself feel ashamed of this when time passes and i look back. art is cringy. loving things is cringy. storytelling and interpretation is cringy. the energy of live performance is cringy. all of the above are also sustaining and crucial to the development of a soul. it sustains the human race to be cringy.

i wrote this whole thing in-app on my phone. it took an hour and ten minutes nonstop. i refuse to edit it or read it back. im done now.

btw if ur still here- song of solomon 6:3 is “i am my beloveds and my beloved is mine.”

hey is this anything

(fated relationship chart)

also song of solomon 6:3 (the neon orange line) is “i am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” and it was the very first connection i drew. it doesn’t get the smeary-edged overlap every other overlapped line does. i just wanted to say that. because it makes me insane.

hey is this anything

(fated relationship chart)

hey is this anything

(fated relationship chart)

hey so relationship charts can be such an incredible visual metaphor for the hurdles capitalism and bigotry put on interpersonal relationships i’m discovering

my awesome world. obviously it is more nuanced than this but this is the basics

btw you cannot tell me fated split up after the campaign i dont give a fuck what grizzlyplays says. it didnt actually end anyway. i do what i want

if tumblr dies i will begin hand-writing fanfic interspersed with deranged journal entries and i will start selling the notebooks on ebay like i’m fucking franz kafka doing letters to milena i’m not afraid

"if tumblr dies you can find me on bluesky" "if tumblr dies you can find me on Instagram" if tumblr dies you cannot find me. It's over. I'm free.

my rights are melting into oil-slick puddles all around me. the saint louis blues are having one hell of a season. if i don’t keep going, i’ll collapse. psalm 23: a psalm of our lord; a psalm of david… surely the goodness and mercy of the lord our god will follow me all the days of my life.

the dagger holster stays on during sex

i was not made to “adhere to genre conventions”. i was born to run along a beach barefoot and nude like if robinson crusoe was gay

some diaryposting:

-you can put a splash of lemonade in diet coke. it’s free and the government can’t stop you.

-if a thing is going to make you sad. and it’s something where getting sad about it will not change it. you are allowed to not make yourself sad about it.

-im so excited to get old and fat and ugly. i like myself. i will like myself then, too, possibly more, because i’ll be old and fat and ugly so i’ll have to be a good person on purpose, and that’ll be good for me.

-more people should write and live by personal philosophies im so serious. write three paragraphs of who you want to be and what you want to do to be who you want to be. read it before every big decision or in times of trouble. make charts and rules if you want. make mantras. shit’s gas.

-every time my life is going well i stop writing for the fated. sometimes that means i stop altogether and just. do real life stuff. sometimes that means i spend a week compulsively writing a highly detailed self-insert oc fic for a different franchise. usually after 1-2 weeks when the mania/compulsion passes i go back and re-read it and analyze exactly what the themes and morals and character motivations/objectives/significant events are.

-on an unrelated note (read: highly related lmao), i am not sure i will be writing very much anymore! sorry! maybe one day when i’m less busy…

kevin’s doing well by the way i did his laundry yesterday and he has a phone now. hope things continue to go well for him

im gonna start a charity that will pair every “i hate small talk, tell me something deep” man with a homeless or elderly person who doesn’t often get a chance to talk with people. them mfs do not mess around. today a man told me that i had received 11 thousand blessings in the span of my lifetime without knowing my fucking name. and do you wanna know what? kevin was right. i have.

feelings cancelled. can’t believe letting yourself feel cancels a crashout. shit’s gas. i will not let myself go back to what hurts me and im literally so sexy swaggy cool for that like what i’m so based.

it is a nearly unconquerable thing to not go back to what is bad for you when you like it. i am owed an apology and i’d like an explanation. what i get instead is the purse of your lips around a smile; a smile i have to blame on the drink in your hand because otherwise it spells disaster all over again.

all over again i’m back in your car, your arm against mine on the freeway. all over again we’re arguing about something that will be important later. right now the argument is silly and inconsequential. right now the sunroof is open and you ask me to spend the night. in the real world you offer me a shot. in the real world i say no to sharing a cigarette and i walk home drunk under the sweet, cold night.

dicks out friday

heartbreaking: woman in coolest jeans anyone’s ever seen is wearing a back the blue hoodie

this made me giggle so fucking hard omg we share a warriors bond in these braad-less times

WARRIRORS!!!!!

okay so turns out me obsessively drawing and thinking about br'aad for 2 days non-stop was not me just being "silly with it" but i am in fact on my period instead😔

doodles!!!