(there is No consistency here btw) If you talk to me about a Thing I Like I Will scream passionately at you I have a phd in being really annoying about things I like
147 posts
smoke and mirrors
I need to rant about Ivan guys guys I neeed to rant about Ivan (<--- keeps trying to write fics of him but Never finishes him) like God this man is so gay and so in love it genuinely hurts it Hurts and I am Injured by it and the imagrey is Sooo Good (and Yes this is probably me just parroting stuff Everyone has already said before but shut up it's my turn now!! (aka please I've been holding in these thoughts for Months now I must let them out of their cage before one of them Dies)) [Edit I am Not fucking proofreading this I spent 2 hours on it if there is a mistake you Imagined it </3]
Just like,
You can see it in the way he sees the stars in Till. His own hopes for freedom and the only real light in this world that he lost sight of in Till. He is the hope and wish for freedom that he has shut away and repressed and it makes him fall So Hard
Or how you only really see that red in his eyes (after. Almost Dying) when he's with or singing/thinking about how Till has Inspired him, like a fire has been lit inside him. A fire lit in the darkness. . hmm...
even at the end of the song, where he knows full well that he absolutely Crushed his opponent and also knows full well that Till is his next one. I'm sick. I'm so sick.
Or like. When he frees Till and everything is just Engulfed in that red now. How Till has that same fire in his eyes, he and Ivan are on the same page now. They see that same hope for freedom and they both share it. They're running towards the light (like the sky's lighter there, more on that in a sec), hell, the corners of the right side of the screen are literally tinted in LIGHT GREEN. Till's color. God dammit the whole scene is tinted in red and green. They are literally Complementary Colors. I'mmm soooooooo (God these scenes are soo pretty too I was genuinely Stunned when I first saw this)
DID YOU EVEN NOTICE I ONLY NOTICED NOW the Stars are fucking green. You can see it better in some of the Later Images but they are Literally Green because Ivan sees the stars in Till and uuuughsdfbshb
OR LIKE WHEN TILL TURNS BACK?? AND. And that red is no longer in his eyes and before The Realization hits Ivan his eyes are just Glowing with red. Because he was just Filled with that hope. Freedom was, potentially, Right There
Did you guys even notice in that like. 5 frames in the half-second animation of Till turning away he's totally engulfed in his shade of green. Like of Course. That's such a Till thing to do because of Course he's running back he never actually liked Ivan that way in the first place.
And also the lighting of the sky Flips. Because the light has always been with Till. And Ivan's left in the darkness. In the. Haha. Ha. Black Sorrow. Aha *sits down cries*
And Again with this mf's stupid eyes how they revert to just black because that hope's been stripped away again, how it's even reflected in his present self singing as he reminisces on it. Fucking. Ivan's Expression when Till runs away.T here's so fucking much like the irony. Like did he even see Till hesitate or did he just see him turn and run away.
Like the irony that the guy who's always breaking the rules and fighting and defying and clearly hating living in a world like this won't run away with him, who has always been passive and obeying the rules and just accepting captivity and has been repressing his desire for freedom is so Bitter and Awful but also he always Knew this would happen what the Hell was he thinking this was such a stupid idea like
this man gets No Breaks No Breaks Ever oh yeah btw they're facing off against each other in a literal Death Match. That they might've had a Chance of avoiding if they ran away. Ahah. Hh *sob*
Also this art brings me so much Joy as much as it hurts me on a visceral level like. Ivan Always has his eyes on Till but it goes from a fond smile. Like So Fond flat out lovestruck affectionate gaze because he loves this man and loves spending time with him to a grimace once they're on stage. How Till never really changes or really Has Changed, and that's why Ivan loves him as much as he is resentful towards him. How that's what brought them here, to the stage. How Ivan changed for Till and Because of Till but still Till is like a god damn immovable object with how he stubbornly sticks to his ways. There's such resentment but isn't he himself also stubborn for always sticking to Till anyways? Hell, he's singing all about him in Round 3 and loses control over his own emotions and expressions during it I'mmm Guhhh
Also the first image is titled Observation while the second one is titled Decision(? I think). Like mf What are you deciding. What happened Last Time you decided to do something I'm going to punt you into the next planet
Speaking of observing,
Just. How Ivan's Always Observing. I saw one person point out he's like a background character and it's like he sees himself as one too. He is a passive observer in his Own Life. How he watches all the other children in Anakt garden play. How his childhood leading him to Anakt Garden just kind of. Happens around him while he watches indifferently.
How he's always trailing behind Till. Or how he tends to just. Observe quietly and is portrayed as such.
Not to mention how he doesn't appear in the memories of Anyone else's rounds, not even Till's, even when he literally (temporarily) freed him from the city. He doesn't even appear At All in Luka's round even though we get a clear shot of Till getting his hopes and dreams shattered (though it Does parallel another shot of him from Round 2)
And then the One Times he tries to take action. Or start something. It gets rejected and he's resigned to just. Trailing behind again. Because of Course he'll always follow after Till. And of Course he's fucking bitter about it and bitter about himself because he Knew this would happen and Till is Always looking at someone else and that Never Changes but. He just thought for a moment that he could change something. Man.
Oh I forgot to talk about the competitions themselves huh? Wellll, (and I'll Attempt to keep it brief because I've been writing this post for Much too long but)
Till spends his first round singing completely devotedly to Mizi. Hell, his song wasn't even in the program, it's likely- no, almost definitely something he wrote entirely for her, and Ivan has no part in it, just watches bitterly as he passes out after his, er, stunt at the end
And continues to be passed out for almost the entirety of Ivan's song
Oh but he woke up for the emotional/musical climax at least, going over Ivan's most important memory of them together, that's cool at least right?! Surely Till felt something from that
Maybe they can talk something out, or at least acknowledge their relationship in Some way. Maybe Ivan could at least be seen by Till-
Aaand Till's Actual love interest Supposedly gets shot and now he probably thinks she's dead. His attention is turned to her once again, like it's always been from the start. He never really changes huh?
Better luck next time Ivan--
Just. This mf Never Wins and it makes me Laugh as much as it makes me So Sad
Gets hopes and dreams and future crushed by aliens (standard stuff). Sold off in an auction. Put in prestigious singing school and up to that point he hasn't really cared about Anything and has simply been going through the motions.
Meets boy that basically embodies the freedom and hope he used to have. Falls badly in love. Boy loves someone else. Tries to free him and give him the thing he'd surely want most. Rejected. Back to school you go loser.
Oh btw this school is to train you for a competition to the death. Btw you're facing off against that boy you love in the semi-finals of said death competition. And you might kill him or he'll kill you. Because you didn't run away when you had the chance.
Also he didn't sing or think about you at all during his round. In fact I'm pretty sure he wrote a whole ass song that wasn't even registered in the Alien Queue or whatever for someone else. Also he probably has hardly looked at you. Also he was unconscious for almost the entirety of your song. Except for the part where you lost control of your emotions.
Oh but that doesn't matter now because now he thinks the person He likes was just killed. So he's kiiinda gonna be distracted by that. And that might fuck up your round with him. Sorry man
This was Originally a rant about how much I love Black Sorrow's imagery and the portrayal of Ivan's love because this man clearly has Complex Emotions and then Kinda derailed into me just ranting about how many L's he's being handed before getting the executioner's blade. Uhhhhh oops. Congrats on sticking to the end though?
I just love Ivan very much. He is So Bitter and so Horribly In Love and looks up to and is inspired by Till So Much and I wish people explored him on a deeper level/more personally.
I wish I saw more deep looks at Ivan/Till, there's clearly Complicated Things going on there. Hell, we don't even know what Till's pov on the whole thing is aside from that One scene of him hesitating before running away from Ivan. As much as I love fluffy interpretations of them, I (did I mention that I'm an angst addict btw. Could You Tell) wish all their Complexities could be acknowledged. Like how Ivan Clearly puts Till on such a spotlight and it is Such a downfall for him through and through and he Kinda knows it but also What Else does he Have and he really looks up to him Sooo Much (just. Look at them in that official art of them in Anakt Garden !!!) and deep down just wants to run away from this horrible place and wants to run with Till, the Light of his life the fire in the darkness the fucking stars the universe his black sorrow just. Oh My God I need to end this post already I was supposed to be studying but spent those 2 hours Writing instead
But anyways yeah uuhhh long story short? This guy is a gay loser. He tries to look sooo cool and smooth but he is suuuch a gay lovestruck loser and his rose tinted glasses are so thick he can't see shit (I'm pretty sure I quoted that from something (but also no genuinely when I first got into alnst after just watching the first 3 rounds videos and saw Ivan in official art I was So Surprised like "Oh he's actually That kind of mf that tries to look Cool and Hot but is actually just Pathetic and Sad and Gay I thought he was Just Sad and Gay")) he's probably also touchstarved as hell idk and his love is doomed by the narrative (unless Hyuna saves his and Till's asses. Buuut we'll see </333)
Love ya Ivan keep taking L's <3333 mwah
Live slug reaction
Live Til reaction
I just realized that since Ivan and Till are facing off against each other they're also going to be wearing matching outfits
I'm going to be so illllll oughhh
if ur not arospec do NOT vote in this poll thanks :] i'm curious to see how many aspec people like vs. don't like shipping considering we don't experience romantic attraction. i'd also love to hear your thoughts in the tags!!
Milgram fans on tumblr will never know the absolute insanity of Mikoto twitter during his interrogation.
oh dear it appears I went a Little Off the Rails with that Kano post,,, oopsie daisy
I suddenly got hit with Kano Brainworms and now I have this Completely Unorganized post and it's gonna be your guys' problems now !! Just saying there is no flow to this whatsoever I just slapped all my points on and called it a day
Just. god I will Never stop thinking about the Tateyama siblings relationship with their younger selves and changing and growing and learning to accept themselves and Kano's. Not doing that. Remaining stagnant.
Like it's Everywhere . (Unfortunately it's been Sooo long since I've read light novel 5 so I don't have any sources to pull from there but I'm sure there's a ton okay)
Yobanashi Decieve is spent tearing down Kano's layers throughout the entire song and what do you find at the end? When he finally admits that he hates all this? Hates himself? What do you find at the center of the Kano Onion? His crying child self. At his core he still believes he is that crying boy, even says it himself "Ah, you never change", he's sneering at his current and past self, because they're the same, they're all the same. He's never moved on from his past habits and weakness. He looks at him and all he has to say is "Ah, you never change" and "Whoops, I screwed up"
Oh but we're not Quite done peeling the Kano Onion yet !! There's still a liiitle more left...
Close-up shot time !! Now you can see in its fullness his weakest moments, he's mocking his own suffering. He smiles and mocks himself, closes his eyes to his own pain and just bows. Throws my laptop
There's also this official art !! I think about this a lot but have never voiced it out before so here we go~
Just. Everyone showing off the wounds that led to their deaths, either with a smile/some enthusiasm or indifference at worst, with a pretty character-telling pose as well. And then fucking Kano, not even focusing on the photoshoot but staring directly at the evidence of his weakest moment, holding it limply, detachedly. Maybe saying that he's starting at it with scorn is too strong a word, his face looks slightly bitter at best, but I'd bet everything that that's what he's feeling.
I don't know just. Everyone around him, whether it's his siblings or the whole god damn Dan, being shown with some form of acceptance of their pasts and traumas, meanwhile Kano's still staring it in the face. Damn, you really don't lie when you say you haven't changed huh?
God my favorite example though, the one that makes me Scream.
Thank you Sidu for this art! I am now on the ground crying.
I'm too lazy to grab them right now but Kido and Seto also have art of themselves with their past selves. Kido fondly pats the head of her younger, insecure self, having growing confident and comfortable in her own skin. Seto holds his past self's hand in something liks solidarity. He doesn't have to be scared anymore. He's becoming the stronger person that he wanted to be.
And Kano?
Ah. well~. He's clinging to his past self, sobbing into his lap while his past self attempts to comfort him. Hm. With growing up you should become someone that your younger self can be proud of, right? Like Kido and Seto. They overcame their shortcomings so they could become proud of who they are today, right? Kano's collapsed in front of his past self.
Guess he didn't really do that, huh?
If anything, he's putting himself even lower than his past self. Maybe he hasn't grown, maybe not even stagnated but rather became worse, just with the same flaws that he had in the past. He didn't change at all, he just sank lower.
Your younger self can attempt to comfort you but didn't you hate yourself back then, too? So what does that make you now? Your younger self looks hunched over and dejected. He's probably just as disappointed as you are.
Ah, and there's text too, right? What does that say?
Mm. (I might have written an incorrect character but this sounds about right I think?) I feel like this was said somewhere else in kagepro, also in regards to Kano, but to be completely honest I totally forgot where. Still though. Uh.. fun! Kano says to himself not words of comfort but assurance that the future will only be more miserable, that he will only hate himself more as time goes on. As if you couldn't already tell with the art itself.
In Yobanashi Decieve, present Kano sees his other self suffering and jeers scornfully. They never changed. Here, past Kano and present Kano suffer together, with present Kano openly suffering if only to himself, clinging to his past hurt for comfort. Together they think, they never will change, they'll only get worse. It'll only get more painful.
Ahem. Just. Ugh! This one piece says so god damn much, and even more when you put it next to Kido's and Seto's. It killed me when I first saw it and still kills me to this day !!! God !
Also I don't have any funny images for this one but. Thinks about. (And I might have some details wrong because again, it's been a while since I've read light novel 5) How he thought he was useless as a child, wondered why he wasn't discarded like a functionally useless object (pretty sure he thought this while his mom threw away a broken tv remote or something?). And then in manga route 2 how he gives his life away as a tool to preserve the others' lives. He has a "use" and he's expending his whole life on it. Like I mean they're gonna die anyway but do you Really have to be like that I Hate you I hate you I h
Like once he has an objective purpose like that he faces it with an easy smile on his face. Bittersweet, yeah. But he does it so god damn willingly. Maybe he's just pretending to take on the role so easily, but still, I can't help but think that he found some comfort in having a direct "use" like this. Even if it just meant his death, for a hopeless cause. If he could just fulfill this purpose, then....
Just the way he smiles at his own demise during that Whole Sequence, even when the remainder of the Dan is Right There.
Just man. Collapses.
Kagepro is all about change and growth and growing up and realizing change and the future really isn't too scary. Meanwhile Kano's stagnant, still sees him as unchanged from his younger self, is too scared to change his manners even if it may help him. No wonder he hates himself. I'm just. Guh, shoves the themes of the narrative in his face Kano Please I'm begging
Like mf he looks content like everyone else in Summertime Record but Are You Really. Are you Really happy yet. Have you really found it within yourself to accept change. Accept yourself. Accept Everything. Do you really think that you'll be able to finally make your younger self smile?
Buries my face in my hands God this man will never Not haunt me for the rest of my days. Get him therapy. I'm normal about him.
I was supposed to be working on assignments but here I am, with my stupid little Kano essay at 1 in the morning. I doubt anyone's gonna read this but if you did I hope you enjoy? This man is very silly in all the worst ways. I love him, I hate him, I want to shove him into a microwave. I want to put him under a microscope. I have multiple times. This man is like a fundamental character that will never Not be a part of my life even when I thought the kagepro hellhole was somewhat behind me for the meantime. He just. Man! He's a lot. And I hope you're in pain with me now too over it ! Okay that's all bye byee~
shuuya kano aka the character that has issues and has a whole song about his issues and said issues never really get resolved
grrrrr i wish I had more than 3 cents to my steam account.... I would buy nso in a Heartbeat i don't even care that i've already seen the game
only way to satiate my hunger is to inject internet yamedo directly into my veins
OP YOU HAVE OPENED THE FLOODGATES (do I look normal about Shidou Kirisaki yet please say y
for context for a few of the following days after triage dropped I started working on a google slideshow compiling my thoughts and several analysis and theories (both mine and other peoples') but I never actually finished it,, this might just brainrot me right back into it though but I have two whole slides dedicated to just this scene I'm norma
I hope I look super normal to you btw :)) <- Just a Normal Guy
I'm going feral over these half-smile-half-grimace frames combined with him gasping "I want to live"
Otome dissection is a portrait of an empty person entering a relationship not because it makes them happy or it makes them better, but to have someone be the dump of their problems with no intention of actually solving it. The person is empty, and she is desperate to feel something, hence the first lines,
Let's play maiden dissection!
Don't we all want some excitement to get our hearts pumping?
She (the pov person) calls their partner, trying to connect to them without actually wanting to say something.
Good evening, is now a good time?
I didn't really have anything specific to say, but
Now there's this and that and an "it's alright" comes to mind
Without you, none of that matters
But the last line is offputting. If one is in the company of a person they cherish, the conventional phrase is "with you, none of that matters." Almost as if the purpose of connecting with their partner is merely to dump problems to them.
She is asking to be "dissected" because she would never open her issues herself. The first prechorus establishes it clearly.
This disease, the whole package
I'll send it to you as an attachment
I don't wanna go so far as to share all the things that cause me pain
I just wanna run away from this love
The lyric 「いきたくない」 in the chorus is already unclear in itself, being written in hiragana. It is left to us if she's saying she does not want to live (生きたくない), does not want to die (逝きたくない) or does not want to climax (イきたくない). On its own, いきたくない could also mean "I don't want to go." I think it was purposely ambiguous because she wants us to dissect what she wants to say.
The music video shows us the girl dancing with a skeleton. Some interpret it as her dancing with death, but I think it represents the partner who she dumps her problems to.
Only the skeleton remains of the partner because they've given everything to the "singer." Not only does the partner's bones remain, the bones are even fragmented.
They've opened themselves up while she remains fully human because she would not risk being vulnerable. She keeps the skin, the mask, not even a layer coming off.
At some point, the partner eventually distances themself from her and she takes it badly. The music video shows a progression from her making a phone call,
To holding a stringed cup (where it is unsure if the partner even receives the message),
To a mere hand acting as a telephone.
She is desperate on maintaining the relationship even if it does no good.
Returning to the skeleton representing the partner's state, a blink-and-you-miss-it moment happens near the end that shows the skeleton as a whole figure and witnesses all her self-destructive behavior.
However, being with her broke the skeleton (the partner) apart.
Now without a person that could make her feel - pain, shame, or anything, she succumbs to emptiness and decides to end herself. Lyrically, nothing changes and she goes back to the shell of void that she is. Visually, the music video ends with her in a body bag with a peaceful expression.
Redoing poll due to poor wording
new and old
I'm going feral over these half-smile-half-grimace frames combined with him gasping "I want to live"
now that I think about it maybe I should separate my blogs for art and my silly reblogs and tag-ranting... that's a thing people do, right..... hm I might do that
sincerest apologies to anyone following for funny art posts btw I just have Not had the time to make anything and my art has been in Horrible condition lately 🙏 🙏 🙏
This is my coming out as a Mushiango enjoyer 🫡🫡🫡 I just think they’re neat. Silly bbygirls.
THIS ENDED UP BEING MY HUNDREDTH POST HELP
has Anyone Else been getting just a huge increase in bot follows or is it just me
like I kid you not I’ve gotten like at least five today and it’s getting a bit annoying helppp
has Anyone Else been getting just a huge increase in bot follows or is it just me
like I kid you not I’ve gotten like at least five today and it’s getting a bit annoying helppp
More people need to talk about Katya and the color red and the subtlety of her expressions and how I am totally not a simp for her
did some doodles in black and white as warmup/practice, it was fun :))) might try doing that more often
finally decided to change my user/url to a not shitpost-name yayyyyyyy ((oh man it looks so weird to have it normal; at least it matches my other socials now though))
unlike the flower of death, the seasons will continue on without you coming back
unlike the flower of death, the seasons will continue on without you coming back [alts under cut]