Ok But Give Me One Good Reason Why You Wouldn’t Date Kermit The Frog Besides That He Is A Puppet And

can you guys watch my squab for me im gonna go on my smoko

... peace on planet bottom, then there's whatever this is

starting a collection

horny purgatory… one of them has to make the first move, but neither of them want to. dante doesn’t want to presume that olivine wants his help. olivine doesn’t want to presume that dante would help him.

and also like. dante is respecting the practices of the church by not questioning olivine’s rather… open scent during his heat.

they both think they can muscle through it (which they probably could!!!), its just. miserable. and they’re both so polite to each other too OTL… they’re friends, but they’re officials first.

so they’re having Intensely Normal and Polite conversation over lunch while olivine is trying to make sure slick doesnt leak through his robes and dante has to meticulously position his shawl so His Holiness cant see his massive boner through his stupid tight pants. dante definitely doesn’t have any feelings about how deeply olivine drinks his water or the flush across his face.

also!!! like!!! olivine wouldn’t even let himself masturbate. he’s a guest at dante’s home; surely, dante would be disgusted if he saw him or heard him being so shameless. he can’t spoil dante’s hospitality to him…

meanwhile, dante has no such reservations about pleasuring himself in his own home, but!!! he thinks jerking it to olivine, an ally who is in vulnerable straits, is weird! it’s not bad, persay. he just!! feels a little weird about it. (he probably does it anyways because, at a certain point, he can’t help himself. he’s strangely stiff with olivine later and olivine thinks dante might have cottoned onto the fact that olivine is having ~thoughts~ about him.)

i think. eventually. there has to be some kind of tipping point. like they keep making horny compromises to themselves. dante jerks off to olivine. olivine likes bathing after dante because he noticed there was cum left on the tile one time and he can allow himself just a taste of shameful intimacy, can’t he? perhaps some laundry stealing, but they’re both such tightly controlled individuals that it’s hard to imagine they’d allow themselves to do that, hehe.

one path to endgame banging is olivine premptively apologizing and confessing his indecency to dante (esp. if he feels like dante caught him and felt disgusted)? like… he’s not usually such a prude about his own instincts, but he can’t help falling back to feelings of shame when he’s acting so improperly. and dante is like (blink blink). because, if dante did catch him, dante definitely just ran away to jerk off shamefully himself.

so dante, reluctantly, drags his own admission out that he’s wouldn’t mind helping olivine and anyways, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about because they’re allies. (and then they fuck and scent each other crazy style.)

thinking about the omega priests post and olivine. as you do. but more specifically thinking about olivine going to solaria on official church business and coincidentally the scheduling of the trip means that he's going to go into heat during it. which is fine, kind of. it's going to suck a lot going through a heat alone when he's been so thoroughly spoiled by eiden and the clan, but he's had years of practice.

except solaria is really fucking hot. downright unbearable when in heat, especially when you're used to cooler temperatures like resident white boy olivine. and also dante ISN'T used to being around omegas in heat because he's been so isolated for so long. and dante offered to house olivine at his residence because there's a lot of rooms he's not using and what, is he going to make an acquaintance stay at an inn? do you doubt the sun lord's hospitality??

so they're both slowly going insane in close quarters because. olivine can't make the first move. and dante can't make the first move. and they're slowly roasting in horny fumes

this event rocks

theyre feeding my candy ass to the great serpent later

all tied up...

nothing scarier than being a fan of a fic and then becoming mutuals with the author. like hi shakespeare. big fan of your fake dating au

Do not go gentle into that good knight. He likes to be fucked much harder than that.