“here’s What We Know About The Uhc Shooter”

I thought this was referring to pirates at first

Every great ship has an absolutely /stupid/ gay person and a somehow /even more/ stupid bisexual.

I like how Jon's powers in Season 5 is basically this meme.

thinking about creatures.

Unless said detective is the literal devil in which him questioning you leads to you undoubtedly confessing for no god given reason that you can comprehend. Good luck

Here's a legal PSA:

If you've committed a crime and a detective gathers everyone involved in the room, especially if he's not actually a detective and is instead a novelist, puzzle-setter, psychic, fake psychic, dog, chess grandmaster, etc. ...

YOU SHOULD NOT CONFESS.

Every year, hundreds of people are put away by non-traditional "detectives" who have either inserted themselves into the case or are working with the police in a dubiously legal capacity as advisor. In 99% of these cases, the murderer gives a full confession even though the evidence against them is circumstantial at best and often requires a long just-so story which can only guess at motive.

If this happens to you, stay quiet, do not attempt to defend yourself or talk your way out of it, only say "I want a lawyer".

Now if you find yourself being investigated by a boy genius, magician's assistant, anthropologist, classics scholar, or philosopher, it's likely that refusing to talk to the police (or investigator with no legal authority) is merely the end of the second act, and by the end of the third act they will have you dead to rights.

YOU SHOULD STILL NOT CONFESS.

Make them take it to court. Force the eccentric detective and his straight-laced police partner to take the stand and explain their methods to a jury of your peers. Have your lawyer look at the chain of custody on the evidence, especially if you believe it to have been handled by someone who has only bumbled into detective work through their natural charm and/or unique set of skills and outsider perspective that come in handy more often than they should.

Know your rights. Don't let eccentric detectives put you away.

malevolent liveshow that's just harlan guthrie up on stage talking to himself while quickly changing hats

made another in honor of season 2. everyone sucks. i love them.

I had to wait for five seasons to hear Jon Sims tear up on tape and here Arthur is crying in my ears for 50 minutes straight

"the magnus archives sounds cool! what are the content warnings?"

New Bluetooth earbuds are named "John" in my phone now im way too proud of myself