current fan creation landscape is kinda like if you went to a party with a homemade cake and everyone takes a slice and silently thumbs up at you with no attempt to start a conversation except for occasionally some guy sits in the corner with a tape recorder critiquing the cake as though he was a restaurant critic and another guy is handing the cake to an uber driver like "yeah i need you to find a restaurant that makes cake like this so i can have more of it" and the only person that's talked to you in 30 minutes is a very sweet little guy who was like "hey i liked your cake" and then ran away apologizing for bothering you the moment you said thank you.
(Hi, I am still alive! Working on some longer posts but for now have this mini one..)
Go to a meeting of a club in your community/school/neighbourhood
Actually attend one of those events your campus throws, even if you have to go alone
Attend a festival
Do that thing you’ve always wanted to do that your parents never let you do
Don’t be afraid to go to places alone if you have no one else to go with
If you are able to—travel, apply for your uni’s study abroad program, apply for field school
Volunteer!
If you don’t have a job, try out a job you think might be interesting or that will give you a skill you want
Change food brands from what you usually buy for one week
Look up the events going on where you live. Commit to going to two.
Go out hiking, to the beach, to the lake. Explore nature.
Take a class or attend a lecture on a topic you’re interested in
How fucking annoying is it when you feel so restless with creative energy but you can’t decide what to do with it and when you finally try to create something it comes out shit so you just give up and sit there being all creatively annoyed and jittery.
Late diagnosis is realising 90% of the things you were yelled at, bullied, abused, punished, mocked and ridiculed for were actually symptoms or traits of your disability, and neurodivergence.🪐🚀🌌.
as my mom once said to me:
"forget hard work! at least do work"
please, for some of us, talking about "hard work" is far away for us. so forget about working hard. what about just working? not working hard, just doing at least something for your future, yourself, your family. or are you okay with being a huge disappointment to others and yourself?
just doing the bare minimum at least for yourself! you don't have to go over the top or make it so hard for you. at least put in the bare minimum so you don't have to live the worst life. okay?
doing at least 5 pushups + 5 squats a day
studying a bit for exams
saying one affirmation of self-love a day
if someone talks to you, don't try to run away from the convo.
all this isn't hard. its just what every human being should be able to you (not talking about anyone with disabilities, thats a different case). okay?
the first step to this would be to reduce the amount of screentime everyday. i don't care if its "educational" or "self improvement", thats all bs. whats actually gonna make a difference is that instead of tricking your brain into thinking you're doing something or telling yourself "i'll work my hardest tomorrow", you don't work your hardest today but you work.
putting in little effort is still putting in effort.
i know that a lot of you are gonna be like "no but i believe in myself that i can put hard work into something i care about!" so okay. good job for believing in yourself, love that. but... are you actually gonna do it? or are you going to continue to sit and watch "educational" "self improvement" videos because it distracts and tricks you into thinking that this is hard work?*
*don't get me wrong, of course if you used to be a person who scrolled a bunch of nonsense, the first step would of course be to change what you consume into something better. but there comes a limit where you have to actually get up and put in the work. simply changing what you consume isn't all you need to do. theres more steps to improving your life. just like when you start with a new skill; in the beginning you may start with something very simple and easy for you to do. but once that becomes your "comfort zone" (as in very/ much easy to do), you need to move to something that challenges you more. otherwise, you never grow.
sure, believing that you are capable of doing it is certainly the first step of almost anything, but believing isn't just enough. you gotta actually do it. you don't earn my respect by "believing you can do it" (what are you, a toddler?) but by actually executing your plan. and for most of us, it turns out that our definition of "hard work" is actually just watching "self improvement" all day.
so what am i implying here? :
if you believe you can actually do the hard work, then do it. do not waste another second on self improvement videos (remember; those are just meant as a guide, a starter. a place for advice). if however, you find that you finally realise that hard work isnt just watching self improvement videos and having to actually do something, then shut up with the hard work. at least do work.
sorry guys for the breif break, but school got out and I decided to allow myself a bit of a break. for the past two weeks I have had the luxury of being a slug, but i start my job in two days and decided to begin to acclimate myself to being a functional human. throughout my break i was proud of myself because i wrote every day, weather that was journaling or working on something publishable, and i read daily.
being home was an unwelcome change, me and my mom don't get along, and thankfully she had been working in office the past 2 weeks, but now that shes working from home I've decided to spend as little time as possible at home. my mom is generally unsupportive of anything that she doesn't seem as valuable, and sees my hobbies as a waste of time unless she can brag to her friends about it.
in other good news, i've found a new eq barn and am trying it out tomorrow, I've been drinking water consistently and i found my bracelet and necklace that i thought i loss. they belonged to my dad before i 'stole' them, and have become very important to me, despite my hatred of working retail, i am excited to have some structure in my life, i find that when i have appointments or schedules it makes me more productive so working again should be good for me, anyway here's to what i did today
whay i did today:
wahsed hair
oiled scalp
read only the brave washed and put away clothes
washed dishes
cooked
journaled
went through storage bins
drunk a crap ton of water
hey guys, sorry for being flaky, i really have no excuse or reason, but last night I had the thought that I missed the little community I created on here. This blog doesn't have to be an obligation or anything at all, but what I want. I enjoyed documenting my progress works and accomplishments and enjoyed helping others do the same, so I guess I'm back
please please please please reblog if you’re a writer and have at some point felt like your writing is getting worse. I need to know if I’m the only one who’s struggling with these thoughts
I'm working on it, I swear!
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