Today I

I will succeed. Not immediately. But definitely.

STOP BEING SELF CONSCIOUS ABOUT YOUR CREATIONS STOP SECOND GUESSING WHAT YOU REALLY WANNA DO STOP DEBATING IT'S WORTH. LET YOUR ART SERVE YOU INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND

[4.25]

sorry I went kind of awol... been having some trouble finding the time for this, dove headfirst into a knew writing project and exam season is kicking my ass. i also fucked up my neck pretty bad, litterly getting out of bed or some reason.

what i did today did laundry filmed speech wrote took notes studied

The most frustrating experience as a writer is having a clear vision in your mind of the story you want to tell but being too afraid to put pen to paper for fear of failing to do the story justice. I’m so scared that my actual execution will fail to meet my expectations that I’m paralysed to even start.

the commodification of friendship is the most annoying thing to come out of the internet in ages. like actually i love to break this to you but you're supposed to help your friends move even if it's hard work. or stay up with them when they're sad even if you're gonna lose sleep. you're supposed to listen to their fears and sorrows even if it means your own mind takes on a little bit of that weight. that's how you know that you care. they will drive you to the airport and then you will make them soup when they're sick. you're supposed to make small sacrifices for them and they are supposed to do that for you. and there's actually gonna be rough patches for both of you where the balance will be uneven and you will still be friends and it will not be unhealthy and they will not be abusive. life is not meant to be an endless prioritization of our own comfort if it was we would literally never get anywhere ever. jesus.

horrible news: you have to practice to level up your skills because it's unrealistic to think you'll be good at everything first try

I'm working on it, I swear!

[04.29]

hey pookie bears. i'm actually very proud of myself despite the fact that i didn't do much. I did a lot in my mind though. Little life update, I started talking to a man (Ik its gross), and I thought we made a connection but then he invited me over to 'watch a movie' so I guess not. I started lifting weights, and my thighs are sore but in a good way. I kind of want more internet friends so dm and tell me about your day if you want :)

what i did today: annotated a secret history oiled my hair finished taking notes ate lunch went to the gym played badminton drink 3 bottles of water from my nalgene wrote 1000 words

i want more friends, so if you like horses or books or anime dm or just need someone to talk to hmu