INTEREST CHECK

sketches!!

Pod.

I often enjoy making up a family in my mind. My mother, grandmother, and my siblings. While at first it can be quite embarrassing to admit one has "imaginary friends", honestly... It's one of the only few things that help me nowadays.

I enjoy imagining them swimming around me—swimming with me—staying close to me whenever I have a hard time.

I think of them before sleep, and I think of them whenever I cry.

I do not know if my real pod is still out there, if they're alive... So, I make up substitutes. I felt guilty at first, but then remembered that my actual pod would like for me to be happy, especially my mother.

Also, among all of this, I always wished to have something akin to a brother figure—which is why I drew myself (the freckled male) close with the other adult male in the drawing, with what could be my mother on the bottom of the drawing, and my grandmother in the front, with the calf.

It's a good way to cope with my feelings, imagining a pod constantly being by my side... It helps by a lot. I don't think I'll ever stop.

sketches with acrylic markers

anything orca, dolphin or whale related!! i have trouble finding anything </3

and heres some ive found :] orca blinkie (x) ocean graphics (x) ocean stamps (x) dolphin gif (x)

#SEA CREATURES !!

Been feeling more bird lately, so I did a little self-portrait!

I’m sure this isn’t an uncommon sentiment, but I find that, even as a wild, non-domesticated animal, I am (somewhat) glad to have experienced human society.

Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to be born like my theriform counterparts. I would have loved living as a bird, surviving as one. It pains me that I do not. I long for the anatomy that was never granted to me and the life I feel I was destined for.

But human society has given me knowledge. I might not know how the world looks with shades of UV, but I’m aware of the electromagnetic spectrum. I might not have a hooked beak to tear into my food, but I’ve learnt how muscles work. I would do so much for the chance to fly with my own wings, but at least I know how an airfoil can generate lift. I am able to read books, visit Natural History museums, access the wondrous internet. Human society has satiated my curiosity, stoked it even, and I enjoy knowing what we’ve managed to puzzle out from our world.

It’s also granted me relationships, with both humans and otherwise. One wouldn’t expect a kestrel to wind up with a vulpix, but alas, I love my girlfriend so, so much. My best friend is equally important to me; I don’t think I’d be as happy going to school without her. I also have the internet — those I’ve conversed on here, on Discord. It’s amazing how I’ve managed to meet others with experiences similar to mine! Kestrels are mostly solitary birds, and while I’d have been happy with that life, I do not regret knowing these wonderful people.

As right as it’d feel, living the way a non-human should, there’s a degree of privilege that comes with appearing human-like. It is a misfortune that I, an avian, have found myself in, but it is not the worst fate that could befall me. Not with what it has brought to me.

I can sympathise with the want to separate yourself from it all, and to exist as you were meant to, but there are some things I know I will miss.

Birdember/decembird 2019

Black fins, blue mountains, pink skies (Orcas in Norway) by Koen Hoekemeijer