Inhale Warmth

PASSIONATE AND CARING TEACHERS ARE THE CLOSEST THING WE HAVE TO ANGELS ON EARTH!!!!

some mr todd wisdom for the blr

“recognition vs knowledge” - mr todd

preaching about how our brain teaches us to recognize something and send out happy chemicals when we do and it’s the same ones that get sent out when you actually KNOW it. it’s one thing to recognize it’s a whole other thing to know it and be able to teach it. AMEN MR TODD AND MS FUNDY B I NEED AFTER SCHOOL PEP AND KNOWLEDGE TALKS EVERYDAY.

@countthefighters

I’ve lost so much of my fervor for life in such a short amount of time, and I was already grasping at straws for hope.

I find myself feeling so devastatingly numb and defeated, and if I don’t feel anything, I feel everything that’s wrong with me. Something happened these past few weeks, something set off something inside of me, but I have no idea what could have caused this.

I still love those around me, I will to the grave, however I am so exhausted. I’m trying so hard, and I’ve completely given up at the same time.

I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know

What I’d give to feel anything but this

I’m waiting for a savior that will never come

I wish Jesus was real so badly

I live for passion bro

Genuinely I love the art of passion with my whole heart. To love, or be so devoted to something that is makes your whole body light up with the spur of the soul, is so intimate and so, so beautiful.

For a long time I thought passion lied in romantic relationships, but as I grow older I realize that it is so much bigger than that. Romance is not even in the forefront of my passion. However, I do love passionately. I love my friends, I love my family, I love the arts, and I love them so, so intensely. My drive for life is simply my passion for connection, and learning more about myself and the world around me.

I love everything I think. And I am so grateful for the opportunity to be able to do so.

Am I even that mentally ill though lowkey

Like maybe it’s in my head

My eyes sting from crying I just want to sleep

“We never believe we’re beautiful, no matter how many times we hear it. We never believe it until someone says it in the right way.”

— Francine Prose

I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BEING BRAVE! I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF SURVIVING! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME? AM I BEING TOO QUIET OR HAS MY WHINING BEGAN TO SOUND LIKE WHITE NOISE? I AM TIRED OF BEING BRAVE. I AM TIRED OF FEELING INHUMAN AND CALLING IT SURVIVAL. I AM TIRED OF BEING BRAVE. DID YOU HEAR ME? CAN YOU?

so insanely fucked up that i have to spend the rest of my life working like. ten times as hard to function as a normal person because of shit that wasn't my fault. wdym i have to spend the rest of my life medicated and in therapy just because my parents were mean to me and then died?????????????? like at what point is that shit worth it because i'm medicated and going to therapy and i still have absolutely zero hope for myself. nothing has changed except the fact that everything has gotten progressively worse and it's my fault but i don't know how to end the cycle i genuinely can't take this

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

My friends gift to me a glimmer of hope occasionally; and when they do, all I can think about is how badly I want to see and know the adult versions of them. I think about how nice it would be to have an extra room, or maybe a pullout couch, at the disposal of any friend looking for a warm bed and an ear to listen. I think about them coming to my house just to ask for a cigarette, and to talk about their troubles while we sit on the porch. I think about how I’ll attend (and cry at) their weddings, and I think about how I’ll be with them through messy breakups, and all the inbetweens. I think about how I’ll have their favorite snacks in my cupboard, and how I’ll make sure there’s always an extra toothbrush for them. I think about how I’ll have toys stored away for their potential kids when they visit, and I think about how I’ll get to watch all of us grow up.

I often times think the only thing stopping me from ending it is fear, but I think a little harder about the people I love, and suddenly it feels like my heart is trying to claw through my chest, and grasp onto any hope for the future.

I want to be there to love those around me until I can no longer leave my bed, and my last breaths are be spent cherishing their names.

“And at my own suggestion, I will ask no questions”

underneath everything that is deeply wrong with me is snoopy. he is me. i am him. he is the only reminder that the child whose life i once lived continues to live through me now