Bart: I Learned Some Very Valuable Lessons From This.

It’s funny, the way I imagine JayBart working. They aren’t one of those cute couples/friendships who get each other gifts and shower with affection. No, they call each other assholes and get into arguments about seemingly nothing, they find pleasure in each others discomfort and even more so if they are the ones to cause it. They fight over the remote and kick each other off the couch, chase each other around when the other goes to far with the playful taunts. Point out each others weaknesses but know when to call it quits. They aren’t cute or fluffy or something to coo at, they’re so much better than that. They’re just two people with asshole/sarcastic personalities that trust each other and will most likely wrestle on the living room floor in their form or affection.

Also this? This called me out cause you can guess who’s who in this scenario.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #17

Can we all agree it’s canon that Bruce and Jason have this weird competition of T-shirts to talk shit about the other? Like... Bruce walking around one day and the paparazzi take a picture of him in a “proud father of a great kid who’s sometimes an asshole” shirt. Jason sees it and retaliates by wearing a “Wonder where I learned to swear” shirt to an informal party and they just kept going.

inaccurate Flashfam quotes #9

Bart: Wally, you are now Australian.

Wally, sighing deeply: Why is that, Bart?

Bart: You know what a Wallaby is?

Wally: ... *Another heavy sigh*

Bart: *goes onto explain what a Wallaby is*

Heyy!! You got any.. headcanons for the batfam..? Gives us all your ideas!

oh there’s too many.

jason played little league baseball

dick legally has to be the shortest and the youngest of the fab five bc he was baby when he was a baby

damian has a pet hamster named hercules that colin and maps helped him sneak into the manor because of a one-off joke from jason about putting tim in a human-sized hamster ball to protect him from covid

Ace the Bathound was originally just Jason’s service dog he got to help deal with his pstd as a kid pre-death and now he’s usually 90% of the reason Jason comes home as often as he does

the family finds out Jason and Roy are dating bc Dick was babysitting Lian this one time and she blabbed to him about it

As a kid, Dick literally would not shut up about elephants. Like they are his favorite animal you can’t change my mind. One time when he was a teenager he was on a mission with the fab five in Africa and they saw some elephants and Dick almost cried

Jason and Dick watched Psych like, religiously back in the day

Jason got Damian into Pokémon by accident and it was his biggest mistake

Jason still doesn’t know that Clark’s the reason Bruce didn’t kill the Joker after he died and everyone is too scared to tell him. They’re also too scared to tell him that Dick DID kill the joker

I think it would be funny if the speedsters claimed Duke as their own. Barry hears "light manipulation powers" and is like "Oh! So he's one of mine then :) thanks for looking after him Bruce, but I've got it from here :)"

Bruce is like no, you don't have it actually, he's just a meta, not a speedster, hey, give him BACK-

Meanwhile Duke is having the time of his life because speedsters are so much less intense??? And actually talk to each other most of the time? And AREN'T nocturnal (thank God)??? Duke's still a Gotham vigilante, sure, but he can get used to living in a city that isn't cursed. And help with his photokinesis because, as it turns out, it's very similar to some speedster traits. He appreciates Bruce’s help with everything non-powered, but it just feels nice to have this part of him actively cultivated by people who get it.

Like, sure, sometimes Bart can't bear to wear anything that covers his neck and talks at superspeed about unimaginable horrors of the future he came from with tears streaming down his face and a pained smile. Sure, some days Wally doesn't stop moving, dipping in and out of the Speed Force, because he says feels like if he stops, he'll fade away. Sure, every now and then, Barry can't bring himself to run because he fears that his speed will overwhelm him if he does.

Duke isn't perturbed. Just because it's a different flavor of trauma than the one he's used to doesn't mean he'll forget the basics. Speedsters talk a lot, eat a lot, and smile even more, but he can deal. Iris is amazing and kind and brave and warm and yeah, he cries a bit when she asks him what he's wearing for the family photo.

Duke shuffles nervously, "You know, you don't need to be so...nice to me. I get it if you don't want the kid your husband, nephew, and grandson took on as a joke."

Iris looks at him, smile utterly fond and tinged with mild confusion, "Duke, I'm not doing this because they like you- or, rather, it does play a part in it. But you're an amazing, kind, brave young man, and we're honored that you chose to stay."

"...oh," Duke's eyes are watering a bit. It's probably allergies—he didn't have any in Gotham, but he isn't used to fresh air yet. Not emotions. Nope. Not him.

"Yeah, oh," Iris says, giving him an amused glance, "now, the picture isn't going on the Christmas card because we aren't that white, but it'll be up on the mantle, if you don't mind."

Gotham's underworld whispers, it asks, "what did the Bat do to turn away his newest Bird?"

Gotham's upper class mutter with false sympathy, "did Brucie manage to turn away another one of his children? It really is a pattern with him, poor boy."

Dick's happy Duke is finally branching out to other heroes and not staying in the little Gotham-bubble. Tim reassures Bruce that it's just Duke growing up, and that he'll come home eventually like they all did.

Maybe it's because Tim and Dick both trust their speedsters with not only their lives, but their family's own as well, but they're unbothered by Duke choosing the Flash as his favorite hero.

Damian hates being the only kid constantly in the house again, so he overcompensates by loudly going to the Kents whenever he can.

Duke didn't even abandon them; he still lives in the Manor and goes to school in Gotham. He just spends most weekends and a night or two during the week in Central. He assumes nobody cares because nobody complains to him until one night at dinner when he mentions that Wally wants to take him for a week-long trip at the start of summer break, and Damian slams down his fork.

"You aren't going," Damian seethes.

Duke raises an eyebrow, looking to Bruce. Bruce looks pained. "You've been spending a lot of time with the Allens lately, Duke."

"Yeah, 'cause they're cool."

"Oh, so we're too incompetent for you, Thomas?" Damian snaps accusingly.

"Woah, woah, woah, I never said-"

Tim groans, having being bribed to attend Sunday dinner, "can we not do this now? I promised I'd help Kon with something before patrol."

"I agree," Dick cuts in, "just let Duke go-"

"HE'S NOT GOING!"

"Old man, just let the kid go," Jason sighs wearily, eyeing Damian, "it's just a week. I'm sure you'd enjoy the peace and quiet 'round here."

Duke throws his hands up in the air, "thank you!"

"Been a lot of that lately," Cass mutters, poking at her food. So she's not all that excited another one of her little brothers is growing up. Can you blame her?

"Oh my God," Steph says, realization dawning with a near-wicked grin, "are you guys jealous?"

"I am not so juvenile as to-"

"Jealousy is a strong word-"

"Yes," Cass says.

Duke finds it absolutely hilarious that they're jealous of what is essentially just hanging out at a friend's place and with his family.

"They could've just told me," Duke rants, incredulous.

"They're Bats," Wally wiggles his fingers in a vague motion, "not communicating is their thing."

"Not me this time," Dick says cheerily, "take care of my little brother, West."

"Or we'll break both your legs," Tim adds.

Barry mock-salutes, "yessir."

Just another Bart headcanon

Bart has no idea what boundaries or gender roles are and that includes what it means to cover skin.

Great fashion sense. All really bright colours. Like neon green fishnet shirts. Baby blue bows in his hair holding it up in a ponytail or messy bun. A bright yellow skirt with kneehigh mismatch socks. Occasionally some eyeshadow of pinks at the corners of his eyes. He likes wearing things that will bring out his yellow eyes.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #25

Damian Wayne has often been depicted for his uncharacteristicly mature and strikingly violent behavior, but he 100% always participates in childish games like "tag" or "hide-and-seek" because, and I quote (His non-existant quote, this is a headcanon don't @ me) "I will not be bested by you imbiciles"

In the end he always has a good time with his brothers (because Dick is normally the one to drag him into it) and if anyone were to point out his smile, he would immediatly deny any and all accusations of having fun.

where does it say bart has an alabama accent?

It never had to be said, the implications are all there. Bart was raised in Alabama with his mentor and father figure Max Crandall. To fit in better, Bart acclimated his speech patterns and accent to sound like everyone else in town as shown here.

In the first three Impulse comics, he has the usual speech of an american accent, or as far as we can tell, but Issue 4 and after he starts cutting off some words like the to th’ and suppose to ‘spose, you to ya— as minor examples. As well as using more generation acquitted terms like “outta” instead of out, “gotcha” instead of Got ya. Stuff like that that tell us he’s grown into using an accent.

Hope that helps!

it’s ween

Tim: I forgot to charge my phone last night. Sometimes I think I’m stupid.

Damian: Don't worry, I do that too.

Tim: Forget to charge your phone?

Damian: No, think you’re stupid.