@tardigradetheking I Got You 😌

inaccurate Batfam quotes #16

Batboys going grocery shopping

Dick: In the cart

Jason: pushing the cart

Damian: Scowling at the two idiots he regretfully calls his brothers

Tim: Has a separate cart and getting the groceries, pretending to not know them

Everyone: Watching the two oldest people in the group be the most irrisponsible.

Dick: “Yeah, but we expect this kind of stuff from Jason. Not you. You’re the good one.”

Tim: “What? How am I the good one?”

Dick: “Well, it’s definitely not me.”

Damian: “What?”

Tim: “How is it not you?”

Jason: “All I know is that I’m the bad one.”

Damian: “No, I’m the bad one. Wait, do you mean bad kid or bad Robin? There’s a difference.”

Jason: “What’s that?”

Damian: “Well, I’m obviously the bad Robin. I killed people.”

Jason: “So have I, you’re not special.”

Damian: “But I’m the only Robin who killed someone while wearing the suit.”

Dick: *side-eyes Jason*

Jason: *looks directly at the wall, whistling innocently*

Tim: “Are we missing something here?”

Dick, completely ignoring him: “Anyway, that’s not the point of this. Tim is the good kid.”

Tim: “How?”

Dick: “You’re the only one of us who hasn’t killed someone.”

Damian: *stares at him*

Jason: *stares at him*

Dick: *looks anywhere but at his brothers*

Damian: “...Wait a second, when did you—”

Jason: “Who the fuck did you kill?”

Dick: *looks at Tim*

Tim: *shrugs*

Dick: “You, uh... you might want to sit down, Jay—”

Did you know cats have barbed penis’s along their shaft?

The Egyptian Mau is probably the oldest breed of cat. In fact, the breed is so ancient that its name is the Egyptian word for “cat.”

Idk the reason I always think of Bart with 80s wear but-

It fits for some reason

Well- yes, but also— yes.

i procrastinated on writing by making this quiz, pls take this to find out which phanon are you ✌️

REEEEEEEEEEEEE

OK i WANNA ADOPT THE BART PROSTHETIC LEG HEADCANON REAL QUICK

Y a l l, do you REALLY THINK that a gun shot wound of THIS CALIBER^ THAT C L O S E

Would have A N Y salvagable parts left of his knee??? LIke Speedsters heal fast but they don't grow back L I M B S. It shows the doctors doing surgrey and everything but in my mind it's like "WHAT KNEE, THERE'S NOTHING LEFT"

Do you KnOw how powerful that gun is?? I mean- you may not but IT'S PRETTY HECKIN STRONG

Listen. 100%, if Bart did get a prosthetic leg, like hell he's telling his team. This is Bart "I'm gonna bottle up all my emotions and then one day I'll die" Allen we're talking about. He's probably scared to tell anyone in case they think it'll cause problems and kick him off the team or something. Plus, he loves being pampered but he hates pity.

Tim: Pop quiz, what movie or book franchise would you join and why?

Kon: Game of thrones. I think you know why. *wink*

Bart: Harry Potter. I want to talk to snakes and ask for their opinion on the Ministry communism and supremacy of purebloods.

Tim and Kon: …

Bart: Additionally, I wanna know what they’re thinking in general, cause it doesn’t look like anything’s going on behind those eyes. I’m totally a closet Slytherin.

You spin me right round baby right.... you know what? I’m not even gonna do the meme. You already know it, I’m not gonna waste my time.

Tim: Alright, I hope you all payed attention to my presentation. Bart, how can you tell that one is a compulsive liar?

Bart: Assuming that their pants aren't on fire.

Tim: Bart, this is serious.

Bart: I'm being completely serious.

More info for JayBart, which is completely headcanon and can be platonic: For reference, cause I think a lotta people are confused about this,

Bart and Jason are canonically only a year apart of age, which is why I think a lot of you are questioning in case you thought it was bigger than that.

Bart, as we all know, had speed aging where he grew up faster than anything and chronologically speaking, he’s lived for 4 years. But since his perception of time is different than others, plus with the help of his Virtual Simulation growing up, he’s biologically 15 when he starts out as Impulse (According to secret origins 80 page giant #1). So he’s A year older than Tim.

Jason Todd is Two years older than Tim, also to reference. DC just doesn’t know how to draw the correct look for age gap. Bart just looks younger since he aged so fast, but he does shoot up in three years.

While their approach varies, they have very common morals when it comes to justice work and corrupt systems. (100% they both support ACAB, DC’s just too scared to bring up something “so controversial”) I mean, the amount of times Jason was failed by justice department and everything in between, on top of Bart unknowingly growing up in a system that’s run by the Evil President Thawne (HIS GRANDPA), the “science police”, that were just as corrupt as the president and constantly hunting him down, plus y’know, living in the apocalypse; both of them have strong views on the matter. (And Yes, I know Bart was a CSI for a year but Central City is already so far gone and morally depraved that he might as well be the one good thing about it.)

Yes, I think they would make a great couple, but I also ship them as platonic soulmates/platonic husbands, but really they just have an amazing dynamic (that has never been explored). I prefer my ships to have chemistry above all else, and you know, be in each other’s age range, and not siblings. Thing’s you shouldn’t ship characters for, but Chemistry is important to me at least.

Thank you for your time, if you’ve read thus far.