And In The End I Seriously Don't Think I Could Actually Kill Myself. When It All Boils Down, I Truly

Doesn't matter how much effort I put in, right? It's hard to love me.

I’m hoping for an outcome like this :)

they tell you about school and they tell you about work and they tell you about taxes and responsibilities and ideals you have to reach. they don’t tell you about baking chocolate cookies from scratch at the ungodly hours of 11 at night and sitting on your kitchen floor while watching a home decor competition show while you get to munch on a cookie that tastes like the hot chocolate you used to make when you needed a reason to live as a teenager. they don’t tell you about getting to eat another cookie while you think about capturing this moment in a mason jar and shipping it through time to your younger self who gets scared so easily by school and work and taxes and responsibilities and ideals. your younger self who wonders if there’s still comfort, still good things, and if you get to claim them for yourself at some point or if comfort is always a question of dependence. they don’t tell you about that, when for years we do nothing but dream about moments like these

Why am I always going out of my way to be loved? Can’t I just be loved as is?

"it gets better" - but i've been this way since i was a child.

trying not to get attached

having BPD n DPD is rough..

trying not to get attached

Memories Made In Moonlight

Watercolor on Black Cotton Paper

2024, 9"x 12"

Blue Forget Me Nots

Private Collection

splitting is just

no one will ever get to know me like you. you never even knew me at all. i don’t want to see you again. i miss you more than you’d understand. let me give you everything you need. why do you only take from me? i wish we could go back to how we were. it didn’t mean anything to me. you’re my world. i fucking hate you. maybe i’ve been the problem. all you do is fucking tear me apart. the distance has been hard on me. i’m thriving without you here. i know you always care. you don’t even think of me.