Therapist : And Remember, You Are Your Own Worst Enemy.

Emily : I'm so upset.

Morgan : Why what happened ?

Emily, raising her index menacingly towards him : Shut the fuck up, fuck you.

Morgan : Okay girl, you stay upset, actually I hope your day gets worse !

Emily : I just want someone to take me out

Spencer : Like on a date or with a sniper ?

Emily : Surprise me.

Reid smiling at his phone, watching Bluey with headphones on

Emily, walking behind him : What are you watching ?

Reid, full panic mod, slamming his phone screen on his desk : P*RN. ADULT THINGS. BECAUSE I AM AN ADULT. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE WHY DON'T YOU TRUST ME EMILY

Rossi : I have a bad feeling.

Emily : What do you mean ?

Rossi : Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if something is going to get you into trouble and not to do it ?

Reid : ..No ?

Emily : I have a little voice, but she says the contrary.

Rossi : ..That actually explains so much.

Garcia : If I blended Red Bull, five hour energy, monster, coffee and hot Cheetos into an energy smoothie, would it kill me ?

Tara : I mean, only if you die.

Garcia, getting the blender : Imma do it

Rossi : Garcia nO-

Garcia : Okay I have a riddle. What's green, red, and spins really quickly ?

Emily : A frog in a mixer.

Garcia : That's right ! An elf on a merry-go-round-

Garcia :

Emily :

Garcia : Emily, I don't say this often, but what in the actual fuck-

JJ : An apple a day keeps the doctor away

Emily : Slowly bites into an apple while menacingly looking at Reid

Reid :

Reid : Emily what the fuck

Reid : What doesn't kill me makes me wish it did

Reid : I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so let's go for 12 more.

Garcia : ...Hun, that's a coma.

Reid : Fancy name for a nap.

JJ : Why is Morgan hiding in my office ?

Reid : He broke his spaghetti before putting them in the water.

JJ : ..And ?

Reid : He did it in front of Rossi.

Rossi, bursting into JJ's office : COME HERE STRONZETTO-

Morgan : screams sharply and terrified