Reid : Life Is Just Like A Game Of Chess.

The BAU , on fire because of the adults-children

Random agent : You're so chill

Hotch, sipping his coffee : Thanks, I gave up.

Reid smiling at his phone, watching Bluey with headphones on

Emily, walking behind him : What are you watching ?

Reid, full panic mod, slamming his phone screen on his desk : P*RN. ADULT THINGS. BECAUSE I AM AN ADULT. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE WHY DON'T YOU TRUST ME EMILY

Garcia, trying to stop the unsub : Killing someone is really weird, like no one will like you if you do that

Emily : Contrary to popular belief, violence solves a lot

Reid : I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so let's go for 12 more.

Garcia : ...Hun, that's a coma.

Reid : Fancy name for a nap.

Hotch, feeling an emotion : who the fuck authorized this ?

The BAU having therapy. The psy's reaction :

To Reid : Calls two other psy, and ordered anti-d for himself.

To Morgan : Questions the existence of self-conservation.

To Garcia : Fills adoption papers.

To Hotch : Questions the existence of emotions and humour.

To JJ : Learn that someone can be a mother to the entire civilization.

To Emily : Calls the police.

Elle : Guess who's very upset about something very small, again

Morgan : bro be like "feb" because he can't spell februawary

Hotch, having in his office one "depressive thought jar" and one "threat jar"

Rossi, first coming at the BAU : You have very specific swear jar

Hotch, pointing to Emily and Reid : I have very specific children.