THIS

I'd like to own my own house someday. In my dream scenario, I'd own a few acres of land, and I'd build a guest house for my pack to come and go as they please.

Me and my mate would build a cob house specifically and model it after earthship homes. We'd have a conversation pit and a sun room, and we'd make everything nice and cozy. We'd have kids, and we'd raise them in a strong and loving community of friends who treat each other like family. I'd get to sit on my front porch like any other old southern folk, and I'd watch my pack run around happily in the safe haven we have cultivated for ourselves.

I'd like to foster, if I'm able, and provide others with a safe space to live for a while while on their journeys. Maybe I'd also rescue animals.

I'd learn how to farm and work towards being more and more self sustainable (which is already a real goal of mine). I'd repair old clothes and harvest my own food, and I'd give back to my community the same way they give back to me.

Nonhumans of Tumblr, what is your dream as “human”, if you have one?

Personally, I wanna move somewhere north (probably Sweden), own a cabin in the woods with my own garden and a dog, and a partner. Embrace my nonhumanity. Make music but also home-baked goods in my free time. Ideally no job, but since that’s not how the world works, I’d wanna do something with canines, other northern animals, or something out in nature in general.

So I have this bit, right? It's been a while since I've done it, but if I bring it up with my friends, they can still easily understand or remember the joke.

It's called the Dan Rules. It's often comedically egotistical and vain and was made because out of our little group, it was a joke that I am (as an act) an eccetric (maybe enigmatic if I'm feeling fancy) person who does whatever the hell I want.

If people thought to question my behavior, it was often quickly followed with a "that's just Dan" from my friends and easily dismissed. Sure, some of my boldness was probably left over from my middle school years, where I felt I had to lean into my weirdness completely so people would see me more as a joke than a freak.

But then I found myself in a safe, accepting environment, one where the need to bite and snarl and run away never came. I waited a while for it to arrive for me to feel the need to play the part of the fool for my newfound companions entertainment. It shocked me when I was left with genuine love and compassion. I leaned out of self-deprecating humor and completely into the (very obviously joking and fake) role of an egotistical short and angry ruler. For fucks sake we still have the name of the group chat as "Dantopia". I still did the bit to entertain my friends, to keep them laughing at my antics. But this time, it was accompanied by my own laughter. I enjoyed a new sense of freedom it brought.

The Dan Rules came out of when we were messing around, and I'd lean into this foolish king role, and I would proclaim something insane or childish. A popular one was, "Dan is never wrong." Often followed by a warranted scoff.

But the second rule is a good one, I think, one that really shone through as a reminder that I am not now who I was before.

"I do what I want."

I hadn't had much freedom before I met my current group of friends. I was quiet and kept quiet at times. I felt muzzled and chained, and as if I was a dog because someone forced a collar around my throat and pulled me on a leash.

It wasn't only that I didn't have the choice of self-expression, though. I'd also seen what happened to people who gave too much into reckless. I grew up with the weight of their actions carried on my shoulders, and while I have always been bold in my identity and beliefs, I was quiet and still when presented the opportunities to escape from situations where people kicked me down for who I was. I feared what would happen if I left my old group. Ironically, this fear led me to be isolated.

I found myself almost completely alone in the pandemic, and my only saving grace was a new school with new people. New people who didn't tell me to shut up or that I was ugly or that I needed to stop acting like an animal or they'd treat me like one. Instead, I met friends who handled me gently and taught me it was okay to hug just as it's okay to bark, and they welcomed me. I felt at home. I felt as if I knew myself completely.

So, with the second rule, which I still follow to this day, I added a private note.

"I do what I want. Because I can trust myself to."

Know thyself

I can trust myself to bark or scowl or growl just as much as I can to love and kiss and hug. I can stay aware of what is and isn't good and how much or how little I can trust someone. I can be bold and loving all at once and welcome others with open arms and flashing fangs.

I am in complete control over myself, and even when I am doing something so I can see my friends laugh, I am also doing it because I can, and I do what I want.

Please, spread this for those who might need it right now

U.S. suicide hotline: call or text 988 (available 24 hours)

U.S. trans lifeline: (877) 565-8860 (when you call, you’ll speak to a trans/nonbinary peer operator. full anonymity and confidentiality)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – provides 24/7 confidential support and referrals for individuals and families facing mental health and substance use disorders, including panic attacks and anxiety.

LGBT National Help Center: (888) 843-4564

Trevor Project: Call (866) 488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat online.

Take care of yourself and each other. Please stay safe ♡

Babeee, babe wake upppp. It's cold outside we gotta go stand ominously in a foggy morning field babeeee

Felt very creature this weekend for the first time in a while. Like full-on, I need to roll around in the grass and guard the yard from possible threats. I wore my tail out in public for the first time in a while, too. It was nice :]

A fellow crowhearted!!!!

I'd love to know about your hearthomes!! :3 /nf

Aaa! Hello!

I'm usually pretty bad about writing about them, but I can try XD

The first one has to do with my dog theriotype. It's very post-apocalyptic. There aren't many humans left. It's lush and green, and most cities are flooded. The water usually isn't safe, though, and generally prompts a feeling of great unease. It's usually very hot and sunny. When it does rain, it's something worth celebrating. The TVs always play static, and strange creatures make their way out of the water regularly. There's something wrong with me here, too. It's where the whole radioactive dog part comes in. I've got this weird green tint, and I'm always parched. I look almost humanoid. Like a dog slowly morphing into a person. Usually, I'm walking through cities, either making dens or searching for something. There's also usually music everywhere, I constantly found different CDs or cassette mixtapes I'd listen to. For all its dangers, this world is also very beautiful. I usually see this world in memories or very familiar feelings

Fallout 4, particularly Far Harbor, is another one! I'm not sure what it is about the stinking island that gets me feeling such a deep longing, but it does. I have personal beef with any beast that makes it's way out of the fog, but still, home is home. It physically pained me to finish the dlc, I miss running around my home :/

Then there's Minecraft!

Specifically, it's the version that I and some friends have created over the span of 4 years now. It's got a really cool God system starting with the Multiverse who made the Goddess of life Melifera, as well as her counterpart, the God of death, Trigona. Then, it trickles down to things like the young Gods (such as Twine, God of architecture, and trade). And then there's even demigods, which are usually just celestial objects (the moon, the sun, a meteorite). There's also the deep history of all the inhabitants that make up the world. The sugargliders slowly dying out, the Nether hierarchy (and how it was destroyed), the skeleton hordes, the sniffers, etc.

While we made the server(s) as a place to just make a story, the entire world is based around a feeling of home and security. The overall realm is called Para Sanar, and there are two separate worlds that tell its history in different parts of time. There's also a bunch of other worlds we've made that also connect to it, though, in their own unique web.

Anyways, it's just become a very big second home to me in how much of a role it's played in my life. Anytime I play a new world, I find myself connecting it to Para Sanar, whether intentionally or not.

Alright, I'm done yapping. Hopefully, any of this made sense 😭

Sometimes I miss sleep

Not what I do every night, not what I'll continue to do for the rest of my life. I miss sleep.

I miss the slow process of laying down, with the buzzing noise of my childhood friend's TV or the distant sound of the train.

I miss my little sister telling me she could hear Rudolph on the roof or asking me for a story.

I miss the feeling of falling into sleep, and I say falling so literally, as I can still identify that familiar drop in my stomach before I succumbed.

I can still picture that same image of myself falling, not unlike Alice, into a never-ending tunnel of quilts, slowly until I headed off to my own wonderland.

I miss waking up in a sea of warmth, a hand, or a leg thrown across me, snores ringing through the room. Light hits my face from a window coated in dust. My pajamas are the same clothes I'd worn the night prior, that I'll wear again today.

I miss my childhood friend's mother softly asking me if I'd come with her to get breakfast for everyone. I don't have to put on my shoes.

I miss the feeling of falling asleep on the way to the donut shop while Green Day sings me a lullaby. The car shakes as we hit pothole after pothole, but it's still the best I'll feel for months.

I miss the way my friends mother will lightly hold a cold bottle of orange juice to my skin, the way she'll laugh softly when I shrink away from it.

I miss her asking me if I'm awake yet.

I miss answering that it's too early.

Me when mm cold.

When you live in a normally hot climate, but the weather is starting to noticeably get cooler

If you can't tell, I'm having a grand time

Realrealreal

Every time I get called a pup or puppy my heart heals a little bit

Be like me

Load up fallout 4

Play until I look around and my room is completely dark

Realize I have not eaten today (don't do this part)

Go into kitchen, find a hunk of smoked brisket in the fridge. Cut off a chunk and go to town on it. No sauce. Nothing. Just meat.

Heavily push down the urge to growl at the dogs because it's my food.

Also find a container of chopped up cucumber. Eat a handful of it.

Feel satisfied.

Go back to fallout.