Cryptic-calling-card - Feast

18 knees good to know

Is anybody up for giving me their kneecaps I need bowls

Random pigs giving out weapons in mazes is not a legitimate way to pick a leader

Yo what the fuck

A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer.

He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine’s day cards, write inside them and stamp them with “Love” stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope. The bartender finally can’t contain his curiosity and approaches the man. “You must have 500 or more cards there,” the bartender says. “I’ve got to admit I’m curious what you’re doing.” “Oh, every year at Valentine’s Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed ‘Guess Who?’” the guy says. “But why?” the bartender asks. “I’m a divorce lawyer,” the guy replies.

It’s the truth why are you mad

Are candy canes just bloody elf bones?

you should be punished for this probably

*Sweats* well that’s one way to go around a divorce

A man runs into a bank, pulls out a gun and robs the teller. He then turns the gun on the on the first man standing in the tellers line and asks, “Did you see me rob this bank?”

The man stammered, “Yes.”

Bang!  The robber shoots him.

He then turns the gun on the married couple next in line, points the gun at the wife and demands, “Did you see me rob this bank?” The wife quickly responds, “No….but my husband did!”

:)

Could we crash tumblr if we all posted the word "crash" on the 1st of april 2022, 12:35 EST?

Someone start the Apocalypse, which ever one you can. Just start it.

Person A: Well you know what they say

Person B: No I don’t know what they say

Person A: Yeah me neither.

Potato