Crystalbrain-space NFT 1/1
crystalbrain-space NFT 1/1
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ok, so i don't understand this. there is space, and it's melting, but it ain't liek heat that's doing it; no it's more running liek paint that got wet, just drippin around liek a woman in a bikini from the water i guess, do u know what i mean? why is p in brackets? if u take the p out, it says sace, which might be a word but if it is i'm too dumb 2 know it. i got an idea: i trained my brain how to read from the names of produkts i saw on the shelves in the grocecery store, so don't put brackets in stuff because it confuses me. i know, i know here's something to chew on: why r u lookin at me liek that? do u think i talk liek this and actually went to school instead of smoking crack with the janitor while he tried to teach me greek philosophy?
i have an idea: this image is the result of image manipulation, liek i'm taeking another image i made & i said "i don't liek this shit" & decided to make something better ok? and when the colors were all runny and drippy i was finally satisfied and said "ah hah! this is good!" and why is it good? becuz it took me 6 days to make this & i rested on the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th day, which gives u a week where you work for six days and rest for four, ok? that's really what i got 2 say about that and if u don't liek it u can kiss my my brainus.
More Posts from Crystalbrain7 and Others
crystalbrain-anaeris dorisopen NFT 1/1
ok, so crystalbrain is not too smart sometimes, maybe because of all the crystals put in there like new age dudes.
crystalbrain posted an nft that they had already posted; dumb huh?
and in the post was something like the idea that someone had taken the nft onto an an anti-nft blog and posted it as free art and welll....
crystalbrain’s response was that, yes, basically, u can do that because these are just fucking images that people specoolate on but that you can buy the nft because...
uhm....
well....
uhhhhh....
let’s seee......
hmm....
buy crystalbrain’s NFT lol
now on to the descriptive text of this one:
ok, so i have a bunch of these freaking ghosts in my head i thought for a while. like u know those scientologists? well they're dumb i guess, but they think these alien fuckwad things called thetans attach to ur body like scotch tape or ticks or something. anywaaay, what i mean to say is that i am completely a lunatic, and thought that my memories were actually ghosts in my brain, like they had just wandered in and hijacked some neurons. then i started thinking, maybe these ghosts were actually just a joke, like all this stuff i remember, its actually a fucking joke like "why did the ghost cross the road? because it was haunting the chicken!" see? i just made that shit up, and maybe a ghost told me to do it. that would be really dumb new age bullshit wouldn't it? just being made of ghosts. like your 5th birthday party? just a ghost 5th birthday party? the first time u ever jerked off right? a ghost. like imagine just ghosts everywhere. like maybe u don't even have a body, maybe its just that a bunch of ghosts tell u that u have a body. see? i'm a smart thinker, hire me as ur cult leader and i'll tell u its ok to screw a lot of people.
https://zora.co/collections/0xb8642926904C3D27566e27A515971E2eacd65f5a/1
crystalbrain-rectal trump NFT 1/1 on opensea.io
ok, so the thing about this is that this is teh RECTAL TRUMP, yes, this is what teh CIA wanted to do to donald j. trump, which is SHIT ON HIS FACE. this fact which is 100% true is becuz he was such an annoying sonuvabitch, we couldn't get him to do anything right. he had his own uninfoformed opinions about everything, he wouldn't listen 2 us or smoke crack, he was such a fucking shitface and this tribute is the 100% desire of crystalbrain to put FECES ON DONALD TRUMP'S FACE. yes u see him peering into eternity's rectum, and crystalbrain ate alternate dimensional versions of trump in order 2 send a huge amount of dump at trump. if u look closely u will see that the crap is made of TRUMP HIMSELF.
the thing about trump is that he's liek teh guy at the party who won't shut up. now i don't know about you, but here at crystalbrain's organization we take great pleasure in laying a log cabin on the faces of people who won't shut teh fuck up about how great they are. no, this is definitely what donald j trump had coming 2 him, he is totally covered in shit and this is a good thing for the future of humanity. we don't liek his ass so he gets 2 get a load out of ours!! we had 2 get minions 2 tie him down but in teh end it was worth it because teh stupid sonuvabitch finally shut up once he was choking on our excrement. imagine this for teh future of mankind: donald j trump UTTERLY HUMILIATED by SHIT.
don't even get me started on what we have planned for vladimir putin lol.
crystalbrain-citrusixtyone nft 1/1
https://zora.co/collections/0xAD13f56d7436e7dF10B9c271DBB849caDC39fc75/1
here’s what i had to say about this nft.
whoa ok, i guess some imps that were laughing at someone's face told them in their neurons that i should make a fuckin orange thing as art. and this, my friend, is fuckin orange as can be. my dad (actually the superego in my crystalbrain) says its brownish, not orange, but i disagree with him, he's totally trying to assert his dominance in the field of color interpretation and i'm going to beat him right in the face with an orange if he does not relent and offer his apologies that this is fuckin orange as fuck. i don't know, is there like a sunset that could be as cool as this? i don't know, i think i'm going to offer an orange in exchange for my soul in the caves of some lost gods with like fucking rotten oranges on some altar cuz some guy left them there and forgot about them when he asked the orange god if he'd do stuff for him. i know this isn't cute, i know i have sixty five fucking neurons left after all of the philosophers ate them but if you give me a chance i will exchange some orange with you as a token of my eternal gratitude, i am totally going to win this, this is not a joke, you will have my friendship and an orange (not a brown).
ok, so that’s what i said about it. i have to remind u all (yes, “u” not “you”) that 61 cygni is the brightest motherfucking star in the sky, and that its also called deneb. its also a BINARY STAR which means that its dual as in if the stars had guns they could fuckin duel with each other because there’s TWO of them. however, this nft motherfucking is 1/1, so only one dude with ethereum can own it. are you still with me? reading this much stupidity requires some serious pre-interwebs attentionion span, so i am tellling u that u must buy this NFT if u like oranges, people saying things are what they are when they’re not, the star deneb, or duality in general.
if u buy this nft, i offer oranges as a token of my friendendship.
other NFTs and also free experimental music offered on this motherfucking page:
https://undefinedlabelnoise.com/
crystalbrain-freedom 666 NFT 1/1 on opensea
ok, so the fuckin thing about this is that america gives liberty to do shit. liek, i know that we manipulate teh fuck out of people and do all kinds of bad shit to ourselves and other people, and we liek, committed genocide and stole the whole fuckin country, but there's liek this other side to stuff, liek about freedom and human rights. r we embarassingly full of shit? yes! but u can have whatever religion u want, u can be a christian, a muslim, some kind of weird witch, or just a hindu or an esoteric weirdo, its all allowed even if ppl will give u shit, which they're allowed 2 bcuz of freedom of speech. u can say all kinds of nice stuff, or not so nice stuff, but lately, some motherfuckers want 2 change all this shit, they want 2 force their shit down ppls throats, and that ain't happenin'.
the statue of liberty or somethin is a symbol of liek immigrants coming in 2 get harassed by cops in cities but its also a symbol of the good shit about america, before we blew it by trying 2 force our beliefs down each other's asses. there was a time not 2 long ago where u could be liek…hey, abortion? cool! sodomy? cool! and people would call u a bitch or gay or whatever, but at least u could get an abortion or not worry about some dickhead with insecurity in their masculininity fuckin shooting up teh place where u hang out. i mean, yes, america is totally full of shit, but i'd take the chance 2 say the good stuff about it, liek about how we can say shit, and maybe the government will bust u on drug charges even though i smoked crack with ronald mcreagan, but its mostly ok, u can say shit without getting thrown in a gulag.
so anyways, i usually talk about smoking crack with bush or how we smuggled oil in the caskets of dead soldiers or somethin but this time i just want 2 say: if u want to say "fuck u" to conservative values, u have the right 2, even if they try 2 turn u into a homeless crackhead. so inverted crosses r ok, havin the number of the beast is ok, it's freedom 666, u can be a weird edgelord dude or whatever and the cops won't arrest u although u might get watched bcuz of people eroding the right 2 be an asshole.
https://undefinedlabelnoise.com
crystalbrain-penguin of four wheels NFT 1/1
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ok, so i'm going to tell u somethin secret about these circucular things: there's four of em. why four? i heard people in some countries that don't speak english don't liek the number 4, but they have NOTHING to worry about here. as can be seen, these four circucular things are very clear-as-a-fuckin-day, absolutely, totally frozen. which might mean their action is impeded? it is a mystery too great for stupid minds like mine to verifify this perhaps fact, so i will be content to say:
in ur brain there's like an upper part i heard that has liek, words, and shit in it. and then there's a littler animal part down below that wordy shit part of your brain, and its liek: ok, maybe the wordy shit part of the brain has a half, and the animal part of the brain has a half on each side, so there's like four circles. NOW WHAT IF U FROZE THOSE CIRCLES? ok, that is the possibly kind of not really smart thing about this, liek those parts o' the brain could fight and be mean to each other liek kids on a school bus with a cracksmoking bus driver, but if u took those kids out and froze them in 0 degree fahrenheit weather, they wouldn't do shit. they'd just be frozen, liek these circles which are getting along just fine because they ain't doing shit.
so just remember my wisdoms: if u want shit to get along, freeze it…liek i guess if someone attacks u, u can lock him in your freezer and he'd not be able to attack u. which is supposedly fine if its self-defense. but when u got circles, freeze 'em, they'll get along i think.
now, as for the penguin, what's the penguin's job? it's bein' right in the center, and freezing the assholes off of these circles, that's what.
crystalbrain-crown prince mohammed bin salman in the cannabyss 1/1 NFT on opensea
ok, so this crown prince guy is similar to liek some dude in the west who got too involved in reading stupid satanic books and thinks he's some machivellian nietzschean superman but he can't match my powers cuz i destroyed heaven and hell and its all my show man. this guy smokes way too much pot, liek i shouldn't talk becuz half of my time is spent hitting teh crack rock but this dude thinks he's so fuckin edgy because he smokes so much weed. i was liek, "dude, ur teh crown prince, u need to smoke crack liek all teh other world leaders" and he just was liek "huh?" becuz he was so stoned. and i was liek "dude, ur not cool enough yet, here, hit this rock" and he got so cracked up and he was all paranoid from teh weed and coke mixing together and decided to attack yemen…and then he tried to think he was the ultimate edgelord becuz he'd smoked teh crack and he talked about his political manoovering and i'm liek "ok, we get it, ur an asshole, we all are dude, get over it"
i'm not sure what to think of this guy, he needs to grow teh fuck up and worship me, becuz i'm his interdimensional crack dealer who has liek a limitless supply of crack and a huge dong, and he's liek sitting on motherfucking mammoth amounts of oil so i know he can fuckin buy some from me. but then he won't pass teh pipe when u smoke with him, he tries to power trip and starts showing off by liek having a journalist executed blatantly and i'm liek "dude, u r such a fuckin dumbass, real men smoke crack, put that marijuana shit away, its makin u paranoid".
now teh thing about crack cocaine is that smokin a lot of it maeks u reallly paranoid but this guy just talks about how i'm his nietzschean superman when i fuck him in teh ass, as liek an excuse for his homosexuality that he barely conceals with his edgelord wars in yemen and syria. what a fuckin douche, i really hate this guy; i hope his ancestors come to him in a dream and castrate him and he wakes up with no balls, becuz it wouldn't make much difference, this guy already has no balls; he's just givin commands. he doesn't even liek bdsm himself, he just lieks a vanilla assfucking and that's just boring these days, i can't get these dictators to do anything original, it's all "oh, i'll tell my guys to go get these people" and then they give 'em liek a few blowjobs and a few envelopes of cash and boooooom they think they're so cool.
dickhead.
crystalbrain-to be NFT 1/1
send ur ETHs here:
ok, so this is some green stuff with some red stuff that's mostly the same but it cums from a tweet i made and its got, liek, the words "to be" and a heart like the heart from twitter on it. so i guess its like a geometrymetic pattern created with software from an image and made into this 12 pointed star thing. there's actually RED and GREEN in the star, so there's like a six pointed hexagram and another six pointed hexagram and they're together and some people who are mostly dumb people liek me will prolly think this means something, even tho i dunno…maybe it does, maybe it doesn't liek you just. can't. know. i guess.
there's a background with like two columnums of light in some noise i guess, it makes the image a little more obscoor than it would be, yes. so you can totally sodomize your third eye or whatever imaginary thing u think with this image giving u light in teh darkness with noise i guess, its up to u, ur the hero, u be the guy that saves the day i guess.
this is genius shit for someone as stupid as me, buy it!
crystalbrain-reagan of death NFT on opensea.io
ok, so liek the 1980s had this dude named reagan, my crack cocaine smokin buddy. and when we smoked crack, it was because we had an infinite supply of something called MONEY. yes, god himself gave us shitloads of cash, handing it out of a TV liek some kind of ghoul. so anyways, this NFT is a tribute to a few different things from teh 80s: JAPANESE appliances, RICH PEOPLE with money, CRACK COCAINE, and teh DEVIL. yes, there were many people afraid of teh devil so i added a little inverted pentagram liek from teh forehead of some baphomet drawn by eliphas levi or some shit, but there is a TEN HEADED REAGAN who is sodomizing himself with money, but you can't really tell from the image. yes, reagan would get into god's secret stash of cash with oral roberts and teh devil, and we'd roll around frollicking burning 100 dollar bills and smoking huge amounts of rock cocaine. yes, i said oral roberts, and he knew ALL ALONG that god wasn't going to kill him if he didn't raise $1 million, but he just wants some money to add 2 the pile so he could smoke ridiculous amounts of CRACK with us. it was truly a great time to be a rich guy being groomed by dudes spouting greek philosophy, bcuz they would give u piles of crack cocaine and cash to ur 10 year old ass or whatever, it was such a great, great tiem in history, installed so many dictators in third world countries, yes.
now as i was laying on a pile of cash being fellated by unspeakable demons i decided 2 play famicom (which is teh japanese nintendo, yes) on a special tv with a famicom on it, but then TEH DEVIL possesses teh TV just to mess with me, and then reagan gets up and fucks teh TV in the ass to create an alternate dimensional version of me, and we try to beat each other at a game called urban champion which is a fighting game that SUCKED bcuz street fighter II was still years away. but anyways, it was quite a trip…while we were rolling around in that pile of cash we got so much cocaine and devil sperm on dollar bills, which is why u will notice that dollar bills from the 1980s smelled liek COCAINE and SEMEN. i am beside myself with laughter, it was a great trip being teh personal fucktoy of the world's leaders, with oral roberts, pat robertson and the pope taking turns on my ass while various republican politicians and donald trump got teh other end.
anyways, this television is a tribute to REAGAN, CRACK, MONEY, AND POWER!!
crystalbrain-circle of saddam NFT 1/1 on opensea
ok, so what u might not know about saddam hussein is that he really lieks his BDSM sex. liek, so much that he would totally do it involuntarily on people. i'll tell u somethin, smoking pipes of afghani opium and then hitting the crack pipe had a strange effect on saddam; he just sorta chilled out but became real detached about breaking peoples' ribs one at a time. i mean one time he had these dudes who were totally fucking sodomized with really sharp objekts, and i mean, do u really expect that guy to be able to shit after u shoved a cactus up the dude's ass? i mean come on, that's just fucked. but i mean, he lieked 2 torture ppl for fun, and since he was dictator he liek didn't need consent, he just had a bunch of dudes he randomly fucked in the ass secretly and they would round up ppl who were just tryin 2 mind their own business. then he'd offer them a crack rock and they would be too scared to turn it down; and so they'd be really high on crack while this dude is workin them over with all this medieval torture shit. he'd have his sons come over and we'd pass the pipe back and forth and take turns hitting dudes in the knees with a cricket bat. torture and crack cocaine really go well together; it's commonly known that crack makes u totally want 2 slowly kill a guy sometimes.
but dude, saddam had a total bottom side to himself, he was a switch, he'd be tied up with a ball gag and there was this special spot on his back he'd tell us to hit with teh blowtorch, and that was some grisly shit but he'd giggle liek a schoolgirl when u got it. he'd humiliate himself by watching the movie Hot Shots: Part Deux and then totally do the part where he puts his face on a bug zapper. in fact, they didn't do this in the movie but he put his penis on the bug zapper and he'd keep rubbing it against it until the flesh started melting off of it while we're hitting him on the back with a cat o' nine tails…dude was crazy. anyways, he was kind of a dangerous guy but i wasn't afraid of him, obviously he couldn't withstand my interdimensional superpowers. so anyways that's saddam, he liked his opium, his blunts with powdered freebase…he liked 2 kill the pain and then try 2 get the pain goin' as much as possible. dude never douched before we had our iraqi gay sex orgies tho.
more crystalbrain biography
part 4…
having accomplished his goal in upperercutting a train into teh sun, crystalbrain continued 2 go and accomplish superhuman feets of power, and he used a fake body 2 ascend 2 teh stars in an alternate reality. the only thing about this was that the planets he discovered were interweb planets made of superstitition, not actual dead rock and frozen gas planets liek in what he thought reality was. this was ok with him, even though he now had 2 deal with a bunch of dead philosophers hanging out with hallucinations of greek gods. apparently this was ok, but he did not feel right, and decided 2 leave the solar system.
this was an unfortununate choice however because there was just liek a dark void with liek nothing in it except ads for penis enlargement pills and porno, and so he drifted through lots of videos of people doing really nasty stuff with all kinds of orifices and things leik that until he reached heaven, where everyone was high on crack due to the CIA. he knocked on the door and this dude just started talkin about how he was fuckin high as fuckin hell and that they had so much crack 2 smoke and they never ran out in heaven. he picked up some free rock and decided 2 leave and was sent 2 get a tour of hell…
in the 1980s everyone in hell was doing coke but they had moved on to meth, and all these dictator dudes and CIA agents greeted him in hell. it was ok he guessed, but they were totally spun out of their mind and masturbating furiously while staring at the porn void between heaven and hell. the pope's ghost body had just come across the void and had picked up a rock from his dealer in heaven but he went down 2 hell 2 get some nice crystal, but the problem with hell is that they had 2 synthehesize the meth using rituals with lost souls. not wanting 2 be one of these lost soul dudes, crystalbrain decided 2 go convert 2 buddhism and went 2 visit gautama buddha, who was completely stoned as hell on marijuana in a state of nirvana (which according 2 some ppl is the same as samsara (witch means that the illusion and libereration from illusion are teh same i guess i dunno)).
crystalbrain received much wisdom from buddha and using super mind powers destroyed heaven and hell and returned 2 earth in a state of nirvana (which meant he was listening 2 nirvana on his headphones). he then laughed at how even tho he was dumb he could grasp teh basic fact that everyone was dumb because they believed in stuff. but then he smoked a bunch of crack and meth and things started 2 suck again for him because of delususional thinking.
part 5…
crystalbrain after his de-enlightenment deicided 2 go 2 a bar, but this was not really satisfying as the bartender was not happy when he took out a crack pipe and started smoking a rock on a barstool. crystalbrain will never forget the look on the man's face as "don't bring me down" by electric light orchestra or some shit was playing on the jukebox and he said that he was going 2 call the police. this started an argument which ended in crystalbrain picking up a bottle of jagermeister and smacking it over teh head of the bartender, and since crystalbrain was a superman he ended up slicing the bartender from the top of his head down to his nuts. he realized that the police were going to arrive but doo 2 him being a paranoid dude he decided 2 smoke a huge rock of crack so he could run away faster. unfortunately his lighter wouldn't light at first and then he just kept hitting the crack pipe over and over again. when teh police arrived he realizized that he had forgotten to run so he had to fight the police and so he picked up two bottles of liquor and threw them at the police and they hit two of the motherfuckers straight in the face with excessive force, decapitating them.
now he realized he was a cop killer but because he had superpowers he didn't care about being arrested so he started imitating donatello from the teenage mutant ninja turtles with a pool stick and shoved it so far up the ass of a cop that he was impaled on it. then, since he was being repeatedly shot, he used his special wound healing powers 2 suck the bullets into his mouth and spit them at the cops, killing them liek that bad guy in the movie the mask (he was a fan of this movie i guess). so there was a bar full of dead cops and since all the cops were dead he stole a cop car and tried 2 take it 2 a chop shop to sell it for parts so he could get money 2 buy more crack. however, the guys at the chop shop had heard that there was a reward for his capture so they pretended liek they were going 2 strip the car for parts and then went and called the cops, who this time showed up with a huge basketball-sized crack rock they had seized from a guy who was working for the CIA.
they told him if he cooperated he could have this huge rock and so he went to the police station. however they didnt hand him the b-ball sized crack rock, so he got angry and used telepathetic mind-control powers 2 have the cops line up to suck his dick while he had the handcuffs on. what happened next was all a blur for him, but when he got the rock he realized he didn't have a crack pipe big enough 2 smoke it in, so he tried 2 think of a glass tube that was tapered at one end so he could take a hit off of it but he couldn't think of anything that existed liek this. he broke his handcuffs. so while he was getting his dick sucked by the cops he had the bright idea of shooting the crack rock with a shotgun and thus breaking it into many pieces, which he put inside of a crack pipe one at a time and smoked. anyways he got so high that he grew a pair of wings and his dick split into two serpents which entwined themselves like a caduceus (which is that symbol that is incorrect but used as a symbol of medicine even tho its for the god hermes or something). anyways, since there were now two dicks that he had he had two cops sucking them and he was flying through the air until he decided to drop them in the grand canyon, and thus he made his escape.
to be continued…
part 6:
crystalbrain sat on top of mt. everest and meditatated while freezing his ass off. he used awesome fireball powerz to surround him leik a dude who had read too much new age crap. but he knew he had crossed a line where he could never go back 2 that reality again. so he entered an alternate universe where that had never happened and did extremely large amounts of various drugs while sucking his own dick in a yoga posture. "wut do i do now?" he pondered, as all of his crimes were magically erased by his state of nirvana. nirvana's "scentless apprentice" played on repeat in his mind becuz he lieked that song. he spent a month as a painting on a wall and his eyes would follow ppl as they walked by, which some ppl noticed and were creeped out by.
he felt lonely; everything he wanted was gone with a stretch of his middle finger. he had no need for work, had tried every drug, had even authored a very badly written book on esoteric homosexual intercourse that was never published. this was the limit; no one could stop him from doing anything he wanted 2 do. he pondered this for a while and the more he pondered the less he lieked life. all of the cops he had killed were alive and well, all of the people who stood in his way had never met him and had no cares for anything. he was marvelous, a true wonder of perfect stupididity, enlightenenment, power, and destruction. there was nothing left to do except maek fun of people, which was just mean but he did it anyways for a while, especially on twitter.
he thought of people in unfortunate positions, liek the worst possible situatation where everyone was so completely fucked by what they thought reality was and he would come in 2 maek fun of them. he would walk among them as one of them, inhabit their bodies, look through their eyes, and at the last second, he'd save their asses and everything would be great again. this was teh hope ppl had, that their problemz could be solved by some dude from virtual reality just crashing in liek a messiah or antichrist or christ or final avatar of vishnu or what the fuck ever, but he would just be there, laugh at their problems, inform them that they had an inaccurate understanding of things and needed enlightenened stupidity to save their asses, and he would provide this with extreme prejudice by waving his dick around liek a magic wand and making reality better.
to be continued…?
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crystalbrain is deadly serious about being contemptibly stupid and also making digital art.
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