Crystalbrain-citrusixtyone Nft 1/1
crystalbrain-citrusixtyone nft 1/1
https://zora.co/collections/0xAD13f56d7436e7dF10B9c271DBB849caDC39fc75/1
here’s what i had to say about this nft.
whoa ok, i guess some imps that were laughing at someone's face told them in their neurons that i should make a fuckin orange thing as art. and this, my friend, is fuckin orange as can be. my dad (actually the superego in my crystalbrain) says its brownish, not orange, but i disagree with him, he's totally trying to assert his dominance in the field of color interpretation and i'm going to beat him right in the face with an orange if he does not relent and offer his apologies that this is fuckin orange as fuck. i don't know, is there like a sunset that could be as cool as this? i don't know, i think i'm going to offer an orange in exchange for my soul in the caves of some lost gods with like fucking rotten oranges on some altar cuz some guy left them there and forgot about them when he asked the orange god if he'd do stuff for him. i know this isn't cute, i know i have sixty five fucking neurons left after all of the philosophers ate them but if you give me a chance i will exchange some orange with you as a token of my eternal gratitude, i am totally going to win this, this is not a joke, you will have my friendship and an orange (not a brown).
ok, so that’s what i said about it. i have to remind u all (yes, “u” not “you”) that 61 cygni is the brightest motherfucking star in the sky, and that its also called deneb. its also a BINARY STAR which means that its dual as in if the stars had guns they could fuckin duel with each other because there’s TWO of them. however, this nft motherfucking is 1/1, so only one dude with ethereum can own it. are you still with me? reading this much stupidity requires some serious pre-interwebs attentionion span, so i am tellling u that u must buy this NFT if u like oranges, people saying things are what they are when they’re not, the star deneb, or duality in general.
if u buy this nft, i offer oranges as a token of my friendendship.
other NFTs and also free experimental music offered on this motherfucking page:
https://undefinedlabelnoise.com/
More Posts from Crystalbrain7 and Others
crystalbrain-liquid hollow rainbow NFT 1/1
ok, so the thing about this is that it sprungung right out of my heart liek an alien from alien or spaceballs jumping out of my solar plexus like just fucking bursting out of my chest like explosive diarrhea except its rainbow colored. are u with me? i am talking triple-dribble 3-point shooting, michael jordan slam dunking this shit right into your eyeballs liek bugs bunny in that movie space jam. what the fuck do u mean i'm crazy? naaaahh…
but this really did sort of come together like double double toil and trouble in a shitpot stew of rainbow goodness that just totally creams itself with a big nug of color that comes at u like an atom bomb of bliss.
so what do u think??? are ur ETHs ready???
crystalbrain-seaweed75 NFT 1/1
send ur ETHs here:
ok did u ever see the matrix, i guess it was a movie? there was a lot of green digital shit goin on like a bunch of zeroes and ones fucking together in a black void of weird shit, it was a good movie. but imagine seaweed; if you get possibly vegan seaweed u can cover the sides of ur sushi with it, so its like a bunch of motherfucking sushi-sandwiching green-stuff. but if u look at seaweed in the matrix maybe it would look like this. why make art about seaweed?? i dunno, there's lots of renahsahns dudes who made like bowls of fruits for dollars by the new class of people created by money changing i guess. so i guess if u can make art about fruit of the loom or whatever u can make seaweed matrix art.
but oh know something is kinda fucked up about this art; no its not jpeg corruption, there's some fucked upness to this picture, and u can rest assured that it is not ur braincells being sodomized by seaweed in the brainus but some actually really intentionally fucked up stuff. like every post i must ask what the point is about all this? and i asked myself this and i didn't get a good answer but instead of feeling despair and putting a bullet in mah brain i decided to post this and tell u about the angst i feel in not having a good reason for this existing other than…
…i need to pay for the demonburger to eat at burger king which is teh flesh of demons i guess but its plant-based demons so whatevs.
crystalbrain-zeitgeistxii
send ur 0.034 ETHs here:
ok. alrite…we have a sundial here i guess, but its a really fuckin abstract sundial, with a bunch of roman letters liek a clock i guess typed above it. it even says fucking "sundial" on it. hey u know what my favorite time is? when i get to eat food, or maybe when i punch myself in the face with a roll of quarters. u know why i do that? because a fist + money = -money - fist so its like not punching yourself at all and losing money. but this is bullshit because u still punched yourself and u have ur roll of quarters still.
time is a delicate subject 4 me, yes. i have always treaded on the topic of time with due caution, as it is definitely not something to mess with. time deserves respect! time is our friend! but did u know that time is just being split into three categories, the past, present, and future i guess. do i care or even understand such things? i do not, because i smoked so many drugs that i decided it wasn't worth thinking about anymore. did u know that time is a really complex thing, liek something that there's many views upon and scientific understandings of, and that its really hard to explain here because i'm limited by my crystalbrain 2 only 4 dimensions, but time is one of them, and time is on my side, yes.
people don't really get time, its a beautiful, beautiful thing that can be divided up however u want probably, but i wouldn't mess with it because its probably power itself or soemthing.
crystalbrain-distortion self NFT 1/1
ur ETHs go here:
ok, so sometimes brains have somethin in them…i dunno what u'd call it, maybe Xtreme Games in the self, like Xtreme sports for the soul if ur believing in a ghost that wants to jump outta its body instead of a brain. BUT if ur believing in a brain, its sometimes woven a tapestry of FUCKING RAGE or something, like that's just melting the self around itself and ur seeing this kind of…just the beginning of it melting itself. its an angry self, that's feeling the kind of rage that is subtle like the sound of a freight train running over a hundred people when ur too far away to hear their screams.
so u just see all this crazy shit, like melting colors and all these emotions get fired up like a cigar in a havana cigar shoppe with a guy that maybe likes castro or not, and it just burns away the self and ur just sort of starting to see it twist and turn like some dumb 60s dance. but u don't see the feelings distorted unless u look real close. are you with me? i'm not so sure i'm with me, becuz of mah anger, but if u are, that's good.
anger kind of makes me want to make jokes about decapitating ppl with a butter knife even though that's hard but that's neither here nor there.
crystalbrain-the treachery of reagan
ok, so ronald reagan was my republican gay sex partner when i was ten and he introduced me 2 teh fine art of smoking crack cocaine before he brainwashed me into victimizing ghettos in america wit the new form of freebase…we would hang out with dictators and the CIA and shit and just be taking huge hits of crack and we got so fuckin high and started talking about platonic philosophy or some bullshit liek that. i dunno, i was born when i was 9 in a TV but ronald reagan was the guy who fucked the TV in the ass and caused it 2 explode. anyways we were in a gay turkish bath and passing a pipe back and forth (it was the pipe u see in the picture) and we were discussing the fine points of enslaving people under a bullshit economic idea called trickle down economics or somethin when george bush walked in and he had this huge quarter rock that was fresh out of the microwave. we passed that baby back and forth and got so fucking coked up on that motherfucker that i actually thought that unsuccessfully voting for him even though i wasn't 18 yet would be a good idea. this was illegal though, much liek smoking crack or having nuns killed in third world countries.
anyways, it was a really good time. there was crack on the streets, the contras had their weapons and training 2 overthrow a democratically elected government, punk rock had already shot its wad, and no one could stop us until i turned traitor because HOLY SHIT these republican dudes are fucking insane! ok, so i stole all the crack i could and decided to go to another dimension where I buried liek $5 million dollars in individual vials of rock in teh arizona desert next to some atari games. i heard they exhumed the games but they totally missed the crack rocks that were liek 10 feet away. what the fuck, people? that's cash money right there. i don't know what to say except that i had a falling out with reagan because he liek got me addicted to crack when i was 10 and that just isn't cool man.
crystalbrain-circle of saddam NFT 1/1 on opensea
ok, so what u might not know about saddam hussein is that he really lieks his BDSM sex. liek, so much that he would totally do it involuntarily on people. i'll tell u somethin, smoking pipes of afghani opium and then hitting the crack pipe had a strange effect on saddam; he just sorta chilled out but became real detached about breaking peoples' ribs one at a time. i mean one time he had these dudes who were totally fucking sodomized with really sharp objekts, and i mean, do u really expect that guy to be able to shit after u shoved a cactus up the dude's ass? i mean come on, that's just fucked. but i mean, he lieked 2 torture ppl for fun, and since he was dictator he liek didn't need consent, he just had a bunch of dudes he randomly fucked in the ass secretly and they would round up ppl who were just tryin 2 mind their own business. then he'd offer them a crack rock and they would be too scared to turn it down; and so they'd be really high on crack while this dude is workin them over with all this medieval torture shit. he'd have his sons come over and we'd pass the pipe back and forth and take turns hitting dudes in the knees with a cricket bat. torture and crack cocaine really go well together; it's commonly known that crack makes u totally want 2 slowly kill a guy sometimes.
but dude, saddam had a total bottom side to himself, he was a switch, he'd be tied up with a ball gag and there was this special spot on his back he'd tell us to hit with teh blowtorch, and that was some grisly shit but he'd giggle liek a schoolgirl when u got it. he'd humiliate himself by watching the movie Hot Shots: Part Deux and then totally do the part where he puts his face on a bug zapper. in fact, they didn't do this in the movie but he put his penis on the bug zapper and he'd keep rubbing it against it until the flesh started melting off of it while we're hitting him on the back with a cat o' nine tails…dude was crazy. anyways, he was kind of a dangerous guy but i wasn't afraid of him, obviously he couldn't withstand my interdimensional superpowers. so anyways that's saddam, he liked his opium, his blunts with powdered freebase…he liked 2 kill the pain and then try 2 get the pain goin' as much as possible. dude never douched before we had our iraqi gay sex orgies tho.
crystalbrain-l'anus de cristal
send ur 0.034 ETHs here:
ok, sometimes i don't know whether somethin is a mouth or an anus, but this really looks like a big anus in the sky i guess. liek maybe its made of crystal, liek etherealeum? i don't know money, i'm not too rich so i try to use cryptographickalcurrency to buy myself a demonburger at burger king. i hear a lot about a merge which is somethin crystalbrain just tries to be cool and work with, because he's a smooth criminal liek that but not liek michael jackson having kids over for sleepovers because eww forget that. i suppose if u wanted to hear something intelligent to say u could say that money is shit. actually that might not be intelligent, but money turns everythin to shit i guess, including the internet, but i need it to buy a demonburger at burger king or maybe a venus fly trap burger at some other burger joint.
this is definitely some cool shit because it is made from crystalbrain's biography being turned into a kaleidoscope which ended up looking like a crystal anus. there was a lot of tweaking (not that kind of tweaking) and then it looked more anus-like, and then a gradient was put on the background. are u with me? be birthed like a turd into whatever lies beyond, maybe a golden toilet or somethin, i dunno.
crystalbrain-george motherfucking bush 1/1 NFT
ok, so do you remember this dude, george h.w. bush?? he totally held up a bag of crack cocaine on TV and this was supposed to make us like afraid of black dudes all high on crack with guns and shit. like ok what the fuck ever, you certainly remember the big quarter-rock of crack you took out of the microwave and passed around with me and reagan, or are you so short on memory, maybe from smoking so much premium rock? like i totally remember we were standing inside that petroleum refinery when i was 11 and you just sort of fondled my ass and asked me with a sweet grin if i wanted to get really high. and i was like "what the fuck dude, there's oil everywhere, don't light that shit up in here, you'll burn the place down." and then you hit it anyways and reagan had to put out the fire with a garden hose that i thought looked like a snake because i was so high after you passed the rock to me. anyways, saddam fucked with your oil in kuwait and you got pissed off at him like some wrathful babylonian deity and i was like "just chill man, the dude just wants a port to ship his oil out of, just let it be or something."
but then i took another hit of crack and the thought of blowing the shit out of a foreign country sounded kind of cool in that cracked up kind of way we had with ourselves. do you want to know a secret? saddam and i were like BDSM buddies after the war ended; yeah, i took my 13 year old self over to iraq and we were like trying out new torture techniques on each other, it was really kind of fun. can you picture my 13 year old ass with a whip just givin it hard to saddam while chicks in harem pants stuffed grapes in his mouth and slapped him around with hot spatulas? because i never told you about that george, i never got a chance to. so while most people remember the US army giving it hard in the ass to saddam, i was the real deal, i actually raided his palace and we played hide-and-go-fuck-yourself with all kinds of cool mesopotamian torture devices. what the fuck do you think of that, huh? you never had so much fun.
crystalbrain-anaeris dorisopen NFT 1/1
ok, so crystalbrain is not too smart sometimes, maybe because of all the crystals put in there like new age dudes.
crystalbrain posted an nft that they had already posted; dumb huh?
and in the post was something like the idea that someone had taken the nft onto an an anti-nft blog and posted it as free art and welll....
crystalbrain’s response was that, yes, basically, u can do that because these are just fucking images that people specoolate on but that you can buy the nft because...
uhm....
well....
uhhhhh....
let’s seee......
hmm....
buy crystalbrain’s NFT lol
now on to the descriptive text of this one:
ok, so i have a bunch of these freaking ghosts in my head i thought for a while. like u know those scientologists? well they're dumb i guess, but they think these alien fuckwad things called thetans attach to ur body like scotch tape or ticks or something. anywaaay, what i mean to say is that i am completely a lunatic, and thought that my memories were actually ghosts in my brain, like they had just wandered in and hijacked some neurons. then i started thinking, maybe these ghosts were actually just a joke, like all this stuff i remember, its actually a fucking joke like "why did the ghost cross the road? because it was haunting the chicken!" see? i just made that shit up, and maybe a ghost told me to do it. that would be really dumb new age bullshit wouldn't it? just being made of ghosts. like your 5th birthday party? just a ghost 5th birthday party? the first time u ever jerked off right? a ghost. like imagine just ghosts everywhere. like maybe u don't even have a body, maybe its just that a bunch of ghosts tell u that u have a body. see? i'm a smart thinker, hire me as ur cult leader and i'll tell u its ok to screw a lot of people.
https://zora.co/collections/0xb8642926904C3D27566e27A515971E2eacd65f5a/1
biography of crystalbrain
summary:
crystalbrain is a foolish idiot brain. they are composed only of the finest sugar, salt, and perhaps more illegal things, perhaps not…crystalbrain tries to maek a thought, but a thought owns them they think. they think to theirself "why do i exist" but then smells their armpits. crystalbrain sometimes says he, sometimes they, but 100% of the time is an idiot god brain. crystalbrain refuses to belieeve that the romans didnt pay their soldier dudes in salt, becuz crystalbrain doesn't want to admit they're wrong. crystalbrain rules over the entire universe and this is why the universe is so fucked. crystalbrain never got very far in parasite eve but thinks he's a "respect mah authority" on this game. crystalbrain has more video games than books in their brain. crystalbrain won't shut the fuck up and thinks stupidity is still stupid because he's stupid or maybe smart in that respect.
crystalbrain heard that if u took a piece of shit and threw them into space they would eventually turn into a crystal due to entropy, or maybe this is wrong. crystalbrain spent their youth doing speed enemas in their brainus. crystalbrain has never had a husband, a wife, or any kids that grew up to be little crystalbrains. crystalbrain has no electricity in their neurons but just really cool lightning shit that is the domain of enlightenened stupidity.
in the beginning…
…there was a tv. this tv got fucked in the ass and decided to give birth to a brain. this brain was in the fetal state inside the tv tube. after growing on disney, the maligignant semen created by priests who jack off in confessionals created quanantum shifts in reality that caused tv to explode, and one of these broken tv shards was crystalbrain. he was lodged in teh brain of an infant but no one ever knew, and having caused brain damage to this infant created a negative feedback loop of complete stupididity. the child didn't know it, but his subconscious did, that he would have to rise up and get revenenge on the priest who jacked off in the confessional and created the abominatation that is himself. this was a life-long task and there were all kinds of hurdles to complete, includuding not getting molested by anyone, learning how to avoid doing basic arithmetic, making sure that he grew up with proper non-heterosexual orientation, programming dick pics in QBASIC, and smoking copious quanitities of marijuana, crack cocaine, and meth.
part 2:
crystalbrain read the book naked lunch by william s. burroughs but he was 2 stoopid 2 understand it, even though it was written on drugs. he had hallucinations from the movie blade runner and modern society seemed to open up to him and make him a king in his own mind. the only problem was that he was aktually in rehab for going psychotic from doing lots of drugs. this was an unfortunate side effekt of being the kind of guy who smokes crack all the time, and he found taht the best course of action would be 2 make noise music. so he did this and set up a set of speakers 2 blast merzbow in front of the archdiocecese of some city or another. this caused priests 2 roll on the floor in agony clutching a knife and cutting off their pedophile genitals, but only a few boys were saved from being completely groomed and molested by catholic priest guys.
the nuns did not approve, but fortunately crystalbrain had artificial intelligence training on how to deal with nuns with machine guns. was it he that had the machine guns, or the nuns who had the machine guns in taht last sententence? it may have been both because the nuns advanced on him with machine guns and virginity on their minds but he totally wiped out like a squadron of nuns and they were black and white and red all over. this was a monumenental acheivment and he went on 2 become the king of the church for 2 minutes until the national guard arrived, but using telepathetic mind control powers he was able 2 maek the national guard become on his side, so they went rampaging through the cities leik a bunch of methed up guys with machine guns, which they aktually were since he gave them all glass pipes and huge chunks of crystal meth to smoke. anyways they were going 2 taek over whatever city but they ended up having homosexual intercourse instaed. this was expected because dudes with guns aktually want 2 fuck guys in the ass but they're too dumb 2 realize this so they shoot ppl i guess.
crystalbrain wandered the streets liek a manic preacher, telling people the gospel of drugs, but he really had kind of ruined his life because now everyone wanted him dead. so he sort of shifted down into an alternate dimension on the darkweb where there was a metaverse where dudes were selling acid and he met a dude with a bunch of cryptocurrency and they had lots of drugs. so now crystalbrain went into the school playground near the place he grew up and started telling ppl that taking LSD is fun becuz he felt bad about the idea of selling meth to kids so he just sold them acid so they would hallucinate lots of gaping maws of infininity swallowing their minds and sanity in a psychedelic void.
to be continued…
part 3:
doing hard drugs took its toll on crystalbrain but he had magical powers 2 heal his body and mind he got from a ghost in a graveyard. he had stayed up for 4 days and realized that reality was bullshit and that he had the power 2 heal his wounds liek a greek god or something. then he went 2 try 2 stop a train with his bare hands but no matter how much crack he smoked the train always knocked him out of the way. he decided 2 taek a bunch of thermite and melt the railroad tracks on a train in russia and this indeed caused a crash but it wasn't as satisisfying as making it crash by standing in front of it and punching it. he had a vision, a goal in his mind taht he would one day punch a train and it would fly into the sun and burn up. this was a dream he held on to for dear life.
one day he discovered pcp and this was indeed the cure for his ailment of not being abel to punch a train into the sun. he smoked some marijuana that was laced with pcp and suddenly he was the most powerful being in all of eternity and it felt really great. he found a train and punched it so hard that when it hit the sun it caused a solar flair that heated the earth by 10 degrees fairenheight for a couple minutes. if u ever felt hot maybe u were in his reality where this happened (in some other realities he did not succeed in stopping the train and got hit by it and died i guess but this is the good reality we're talking about where crystalbrain punched a train into the sun and maeks NFTs still).
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crystalbrain is deadly serious about being contemptibly stupid and also making digital art.
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