Crystalbrain-the Treachery Of Reagan
crystalbrain-the treachery of reagan
ok, so ronald reagan was my republican gay sex partner when i was ten and he introduced me 2 teh fine art of smoking crack cocaine before he brainwashed me into victimizing ghettos in america wit the new form of freebase…we would hang out with dictators and the CIA and shit and just be taking huge hits of crack and we got so fuckin high and started talking about platonic philosophy or some bullshit liek that. i dunno, i was born when i was 9 in a TV but ronald reagan was the guy who fucked the TV in the ass and caused it 2 explode. anyways we were in a gay turkish bath and passing a pipe back and forth (it was the pipe u see in the picture) and we were discussing the fine points of enslaving people under a bullshit economic idea called trickle down economics or somethin when george bush walked in and he had this huge quarter rock that was fresh out of the microwave. we passed that baby back and forth and got so fucking coked up on that motherfucker that i actually thought that unsuccessfully voting for him even though i wasn't 18 yet would be a good idea. this was illegal though, much liek smoking crack or having nuns killed in third world countries.
anyways, it was a really good time. there was crack on the streets, the contras had their weapons and training 2 overthrow a democratically elected government, punk rock had already shot its wad, and no one could stop us until i turned traitor because HOLY SHIT these republican dudes are fucking insane! ok, so i stole all the crack i could and decided to go to another dimension where I buried liek $5 million dollars in individual vials of rock in teh arizona desert next to some atari games. i heard they exhumed the games but they totally missed the crack rocks that were liek 10 feet away. what the fuck, people? that's cash money right there. i don't know what to say except that i had a falling out with reagan because he liek got me addicted to crack when i was 10 and that just isn't cool man.
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crystalbrain-zeitgeistxii
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ok. alrite…we have a sundial here i guess, but its a really fuckin abstract sundial, with a bunch of roman letters liek a clock i guess typed above it. it even says fucking "sundial" on it. hey u know what my favorite time is? when i get to eat food, or maybe when i punch myself in the face with a roll of quarters. u know why i do that? because a fist + money = -money - fist so its like not punching yourself at all and losing money. but this is bullshit because u still punched yourself and u have ur roll of quarters still.
time is a delicate subject 4 me, yes. i have always treaded on the topic of time with due caution, as it is definitely not something to mess with. time deserves respect! time is our friend! but did u know that time is just being split into three categories, the past, present, and future i guess. do i care or even understand such things? i do not, because i smoked so many drugs that i decided it wasn't worth thinking about anymore. did u know that time is a really complex thing, liek something that there's many views upon and scientific understandings of, and that its really hard to explain here because i'm limited by my crystalbrain 2 only 4 dimensions, but time is one of them, and time is on my side, yes.
people don't really get time, its a beautiful, beautiful thing that can be divided up however u want probably, but i wouldn't mess with it because its probably power itself or soemthing.
crystalbrain-space NFT 1/1
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ok, so i don't understand this. there is space, and it's melting, but it ain't liek heat that's doing it; no it's more running liek paint that got wet, just drippin around liek a woman in a bikini from the water i guess, do u know what i mean? why is p in brackets? if u take the p out, it says sace, which might be a word but if it is i'm too dumb 2 know it. i got an idea: i trained my brain how to read from the names of produkts i saw on the shelves in the grocecery store, so don't put brackets in stuff because it confuses me. i know, i know here's something to chew on: why r u lookin at me liek that? do u think i talk liek this and actually went to school instead of smoking crack with the janitor while he tried to teach me greek philosophy?
i have an idea: this image is the result of image manipulation, liek i'm taeking another image i made & i said "i don't liek this shit" & decided to make something better ok? and when the colors were all runny and drippy i was finally satisfied and said "ah hah! this is good!" and why is it good? becuz it took me 6 days to make this & i rested on the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th day, which gives u a week where you work for six days and rest for four, ok? that's really what i got 2 say about that and if u don't liek it u can kiss my my brainus.
crystalbrain-to be NFT 1/1
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ok, so this is some green stuff with some red stuff that's mostly the same but it cums from a tweet i made and its got, liek, the words "to be" and a heart like the heart from twitter on it. so i guess its like a geometrymetic pattern created with software from an image and made into this 12 pointed star thing. there's actually RED and GREEN in the star, so there's like a six pointed hexagram and another six pointed hexagram and they're together and some people who are mostly dumb people liek me will prolly think this means something, even tho i dunno…maybe it does, maybe it doesn't liek you just. can't. know. i guess.
there's a background with like two columnums of light in some noise i guess, it makes the image a little more obscoor than it would be, yes. so you can totally sodomize your third eye or whatever imaginary thing u think with this image giving u light in teh darkness with noise i guess, its up to u, ur the hero, u be the guy that saves the day i guess.
this is genius shit for someone as stupid as me, buy it!
crystalbrain-crack rock on a scale 1/1 NFT on opensea.io
ok, so teh thing about music is that crack rock doesn't get 2 much mention as far as i know. it's fucked u know, some drug that's this powerful, and it got liek no mention. when i was a little crystalbrain, everyone was smoking crack. liek teh news was always sayin "hey, there's all these ppl smokin crack"…of course they tried 2 paint it liek only black ppl smoked crack becuz this scares white ppl, but there were white ppl smokin crack 2, not teh least of which was ronald and nancy reagan whom i have shared many quarter rocks with. yeah, they had teh best microwave money could buy in teh white house, and that muthafuckah was so good at cookin' rock that when teh lighter hit teh crack it sounded liek a sparkler. yeah, i've mentioned teh legendary crack rock that george bush pulled out of that sonuvabitch, but what i want 2 talk 2 u about today is musicians and crack rock, and teh serious lack of songs about smoking cocaine in rock form when it was at its height. yeah, there's some stuff by nas, a few mentions here and there in music, but 4 somethin that was so important 2 teh history of teh world, u would think that there would be more that would be devoted 2 such a sacred rock. no, when someone talks about a rock on a song, its usually an engagement ring or somethin i guess, not a rock of cocaine. or maybe ROCK N ROLL, which is NOT about smoking rock cocaine and rolling on ecstacy, as disappoiointed as i was to find this out.
thats why i made this NFT: i wanted 2 show how crack rock could be musical. on this motherfucking NFT we have a musical scale, and its motherfuckin got a lot to say namely the words, "C R A C K" and "R O C K"…how do u play this on the piano? well see, u pick up ur crack pipe with a rock in it, get up on teh keys, and start dancin' around like a crazy dude while applyin' a flame to ur rock. there is some leftover devilry from when i was talking about the crown prince of saudi arabia and how he just doesn't seem to get crack smoking liek george bush or saddam hussein or something, and thinks he's some kind of cool machivellian edgelord…anyways, it left an impression on my mind, and so we have some COCAINE in an upside down five pointed star lol. is this proper? of course, there is no way that cocaine can be used that isn't proper: in the nose, in coca tea form, in a syringe, as freebase, as rock, in a damn enema, and any other motherfucking way u can think to use it. maybe as eardrops? eyedrops? the sky is the limit 2 this incredibly versatitile substance.
crystalbrain-web spider 1/1 NFT on OpenSea
ok so this is some real motherfucking shit dropped down from god's asshole like an asteroid of feces.
it says "web" and it could be construed as a web, i guess. but its motherfuckin' got a spideer on it! yes, spideers are par for the course for crack-smoking interdimensional reaganites. i mean every time we'd see one at the white house reagan would push a button and dudes would come up with these fuckin hoses full of bug killer yeah? and then we'd get to see a spideer die a horrible death. whut are my cocksucking, cunt-kicking thoughts on green spiders? i say those motherfuckers are radioactive and i don't want them uraniuming up my shit, capeche? even if u bring in some plutonium-proof suit or some shit near me just keep the motherfuckin green spider away from me, do u understand?
i haven't even addressed the question of "why" there's a green spideer there, what the punctuation marks are doing on it, and what the fuck the point of this all is. i guess the point is that green spideers are kind of like pop culture, and they can grow on u liek a cancerous tumor. see we get in ur head with pop culture, we're not jacking off or joking that we've got lotsa shit we need to control ur minds with, and that's our green spidierman. peter farker, spidier man.
see, back in the the 1980s we had a bunch of shit we could use to get people to be cool with us doing things. we had tv, radio, the music industry, the media. they pumped out this notion of some super-dude called a superman or some shit and it was cool like a college campus in antarctica. but then some people didn't liek this superman, and that is what we need teh motherfucking green spidiers for: to hunt these people down and turn them into peter farkers to our cause of money-making.
a 6x6 square of crystalbrain
yeth, eye have made enough NFTs 2 cover 35 squares, witch leaves one square to put my name in (it's in teh bottom right and says "crystalbrain"). eye am proud of my work, witch comes as easily as female ejactulation 2 women in videos when u search "squirting" with safesearch off.
there is much crack cocaine 2 be smoked, so i will be short. the CIA has used interdimensional listening devices in the molecules of crack rocks in this city, so i have to be quiet or they will pick up on my voice and seventeen different types of aliens will show up and try unsuccessfully to vaporize me as i bat away their UFOs with my enormous gay penis toward the galaxy andromeda. eye am not fucking around, eye have played cat and mouse with teh CIA for 2 long.
anyways, buy my NFTs.
crystalbrain-laser eye NFT 1/1
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ok, i got sumthin to tell u. its a secret. the laser, its liek HAL in 2069 a space fuckassy, which is my imaginary porno based on 2001 a space odddessy by stanlee koobrick. but this time there is a laser in the middle between two sets of brests, because this is the ideal place for a red light coming from a robot. but this is no regular porno, no this is a porno for robots, who are built for the sole porpoise of selling pornos to them. by making masturbation robots, u can then create a market to sell pornos 2 them. its brilliant for money making, and that's what syfy porno is about right?? right???
i know these don't look liek breasts, but they are syfy breasts since nerds cant get real brests this is the best i could do with. maybe they're robot brests???? i got a good idea, liek if u were on a space ship with a bunch of doods going 2 jupiter or wherever the fuck and the machine tried to fuck u instead of kill u, wouldn't u be happier? this is why 2069 a space fuckassy is a superior flick to 2001, even if 2001 has fantasy shit by director stanlee koobrick. r u with me people? robot sex = better than robot killing. i know arthur see clark wrote a novel aboot 2001, but that shit didn't happen, we didn't go to jupiter or wherever the fuck in a psychedelic tunnel of wtf in 2001, so we'll all have sex on a spaceship in 2069 instead.
do u people capeesh or do i have 2 go on????
crystalbrain-aids 666 1/1 NFT opensea.io
ok, so wait a minute. hold the motherfuckin phone 4 a minute, just chill. this is some grade A, serious, government inspected shit. and that's this motherfuckin idea that u create ur own reality, and i have to say that even crystalbrain is smart enough to know that in the 1980s, the 1990s, the 2000s, and shit liek that, this meant u CREATE UR OWN AIDS. becuz lets put our stinking thinking caps on 4 a second. what is the first thing, after u've smoked a big rock of crack cocaine and ur really confident as fuck and u swallowed some new age shit about creating ur own reality, what is teh first thing ur going 2 do? ur going to stick ur dick into some orifice without a condom on. and unfortunately my friends, even with super ultra multiverse interdimensional powers, i'm not gonna stop u from gettin' HIV INFECTED if u do this.
one point of contention i had with reagan is that he thought it was cool 4 ppl 2 get AIDS, and as i smoked huge rocks of crack with him i sort of had a debate with him, a real heart-2-heart, and he was of teh opinion that the solution 2 overpopulation was 2 just not give a fuck about AIDS. and me, i thought about this and decided that even for me, this point of view was 2 fucked up and i just sorta looked at my lighter and said "let's talk about somethin else" with reagan as he fondled my balls. and so i just took probably the biggest hit of crack of my life becuz i just wanted 2 cry 4 teh fact that u couldn't have unprotected sex with ppl anymore without risking getting ur ass killed by this AIDS bullshit.
now this picture, i know what ur thinking…its evocative of some serious shit, liek a metaphysical conspiracy, but that's what this shit really was. i mean the metaphysics were bullshiet but that's the point, u believe in bullshit, and these beliefs are problematic as fuck becuz they can get u AIDS. so maybe just have a moment of silence with urself, just put teh crackpipe down and decide which side ur on: do u want ppl 2 get AIDS, or do u think that's fucked up? becuz with reagan, even though he was my crack-smoking buddy and bought me cool things liek a japanese famicom tv by sharp, i decided i was on teh side that said gettin AIDS is fucked up, and giving ppl AIDS through bullshitting them is fucked up too.
in teh picture there is a T-Cell, and u fuckin need these 2 survive i guess. but this occult bullshit, its liek upside down jesus, which is dumb right side up or upside down, but its got a inverse pentagram over it which signifies matter ruling over consciousness or 2 put it a different way: thinking with ur dick. anyways this is some seriously dark shit, so maek sure ur selective with who u do the nasty with.
crystalbrain-wings of seven NFT 1/1
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what can i say about seven??? it's such a cool number! if u were a man with wings leik an angel or some shit liek that, u would have seven limbs right?? i'm going to say that this picture gives u wings because the salesman who sells crack in my brain said to promise this to my buyers. beware i can't verifify if this is actually true, so DISCLAIMER: i am full of shit possibly but maybe not. but what else can i say about this??? it's green, liek dollar bills i guess, which is kind of a neat thing if ur looking to buy a house or eat or have some fuel for ur rich guy fireplace. so as for the number seven, i can't possibley say enuff good shtuff. yeah the bible has some dumb shit going on in sevens but u can forget about this, because this is a non-christian seven, leik if u were a buddhist and u wanted this seven, u could have it without any of that bowls of gods wrath stuff.
what else can i possilby say about this? it looks liek it grew from an ancient civilization that exists on a leaf or sumthin, i can say that. wouldn't it be cool if ancient civilizations possibly with aliens grew on leaves? i would totally freak out and spooge if that were the case and i'd use my two wings to fly to the moon or something to tell the people on the moon about it. i mean no one on earth would believe me except for those dudes that take too much LSD or mushrooms, but on the moon, I dunno, maybe? or maybe on neptune because its the 7th planet from the sun, that would work cool i guess.
so if u want complicicated patterns in sevens u can totally take out ur ETHs and buy this NFT which i offer to ur brain.
crystalbrain-skull illusion NFT 1/1
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ok, so i don't know what to say about this except that it's cut up. crystalbrain confused. is crystalbrain in the skull? it could bee baaaaad, becuz the skull is being split! by what? maybe the indigo aura of new age bullshit wafting onto the scene like some patchooooooli and incense; crystalbrain hates that smell as its communicated to its crystalbrain. there is (plaguing the eyes) some darknessness, its not too much i guess but its split up like everything else; its some weird shit yo, i don't know what to say.
speaking of shit the encroaching horseshit is just beyond the darknesses i guess, all split up into sizable edible chunks of shit to woof down like when you're grazing on cheerios in the night (or maybe the day since the encroaching bullshit is beyond the darkness). there's "just grass" i guess; and i don't mean cannabis like some couchlocking thing where u always end up watching shitty tv in your teenage years in some loser's basement; at least that could be what it is for dudes in the 2000s.
maybe the desertification is of something outside the self, like the fucking land i guess? i don't know, i don't know about the environment, it's all greek, latin, sanskrit, and mandarinian to me. there is the desire to reproduce, and when u look at this art crystalbrain has reproduced it into your eyesockets like a moneyshot i guess. and this is what crystalbrain has to say about this image. the water grass is self explanatory, or rather will not be explained.
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crystalbrain7 reblogged this · 2 years ago
crystalbrain is deadly serious about being contemptibly stupid and also making digital art.
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