Crystalbrain-skull Illusion NFT 1/1
crystalbrain-skull illusion NFT 1/1
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ok, so i don't know what to say about this except that it's cut up. crystalbrain confused. is crystalbrain in the skull? it could bee baaaaad, becuz the skull is being split! by what? maybe the indigo aura of new age bullshit wafting onto the scene like some patchooooooli and incense; crystalbrain hates that smell as its communicated to its crystalbrain. there is (plaguing the eyes) some darknessness, its not too much i guess but its split up like everything else; its some weird shit yo, i don't know what to say.
speaking of shit the encroaching horseshit is just beyond the darknesses i guess, all split up into sizable edible chunks of shit to woof down like when you're grazing on cheerios in the night (or maybe the day since the encroaching bullshit is beyond the darkness). there's "just grass" i guess; and i don't mean cannabis like some couchlocking thing where u always end up watching shitty tv in your teenage years in some loser's basement; at least that could be what it is for dudes in the 2000s.
maybe the desertification is of something outside the self, like the fucking land i guess? i don't know, i don't know about the environment, it's all greek, latin, sanskrit, and mandarinian to me. there is the desire to reproduce, and when u look at this art crystalbrain has reproduced it into your eyesockets like a moneyshot i guess. and this is what crystalbrain has to say about this image. the water grass is self explanatory, or rather will not be explained.
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crystalbrain-l'anus de cristal
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ok, sometimes i don't know whether somethin is a mouth or an anus, but this really looks like a big anus in the sky i guess. liek maybe its made of crystal, liek etherealeum? i don't know money, i'm not too rich so i try to use cryptographickalcurrency to buy myself a demonburger at burger king. i hear a lot about a merge which is somethin crystalbrain just tries to be cool and work with, because he's a smooth criminal liek that but not liek michael jackson having kids over for sleepovers because eww forget that. i suppose if u wanted to hear something intelligent to say u could say that money is shit. actually that might not be intelligent, but money turns everythin to shit i guess, including the internet, but i need it to buy a demonburger at burger king or maybe a venus fly trap burger at some other burger joint.
this is definitely some cool shit because it is made from crystalbrain's biography being turned into a kaleidoscope which ended up looking like a crystal anus. there was a lot of tweaking (not that kind of tweaking) and then it looked more anus-like, and then a gradient was put on the background. are u with me? be birthed like a turd into whatever lies beyond, maybe a golden toilet or somethin, i dunno.
crystalbrain-broken sphere NFT 1/1
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ok, sometimes u have a sphere or somethin i guess; liek think of the 360 dedegree angels around u. i mean angles not angels sorry, fuck that. but u can be liek, ok…everything around me is fucked, theres like a bunch of shit that just don't make sense, maybe becuz u r crazy. it might not be that u r crazy tho, it could be other ppl around u r crazy. so everything is just fucked up liek i said, there's just a broken sphere: 360 degrees of fucked. its just liek broken glass and other dumb shit around u, just annoying stuff.
i guess our sphere is kinda broken maybe? or maybe not; maybe if u were liek schizophrenic ur sphere would be broken, liek just a bunch of crazy shit around u liek a bad acid trip but it just keeps goin on and on. does this sound appeeling? i dunno, i think it could suck; liek u'd just be paranoid i guess because everything is just liek broken glass. i dunno what i'm really talking about, i'm a moron, my sphere might be broken maybe.
get outta my sphere!
crystalbrain-crack angel NFT 1/1 on opensea.io
ok, so liek, this is crack angel. wtf is a crack angel? well, it's an angel…of crack cocaine. yes, in the many strange dimensions that exist there are angels that are high on crack, or that dispense crack, or that want you 2 smoke crack so bad that they appear before u in all their glory and bid thee 2 smoke a rock from a crack pipe. crack angels can also serve as messengers of crack. liek, when reagan and bush smoked crack, there was an angel that appeared before them and said "i present 2 u the divine gift…of crack". and so we discovered that crack cocaine was liek a divine ambrosia, a divine rock that maeks ppl high as fuck and rant and rave about their sexual exploits. twas a strange day in teh multiverse when teh crack showed up with a promise that it would allow teh republicans to rule over central america. it twas such a great tiem…teh angel gave a huge ounce of coke, some baking soda, and other shit, and then with the sound of trumpets teh best microwave that money could buy came down from teh heavens and was installed in teh white house.
foreign dignititaries would come up to teh white house on officicial visits, but teh real reason they came is that they wanted 2 smoke crack. it was spread all throughout teh world's leadership, everyone was in teh white house hitting teh rock. they don't call it teh "white house" 4 no reason, bcuz coke is white man, coke is white. u gotta understand that under reagan, teh white house was teh world's biggest crack house. reagan was all coked up and he even wanted 2 change teh columns of teh white house into pure rocks of cocaine, but dick cheney said that this was a bad idea and wouldn't let him. so much 4 that idea. rumor has it that perestroika and glasnost happened in the USSR bcuz gorbachev smoked so much crack with reagan, and that spot on his head was a punishment from god for smoking too much of reagan's crack when it didn't belong 2 him. i don't know about this but it could be true, who knows?
and then there was the buttfucking…so many coke orgies with world leadership…
crystalbrain-penguin of four wheels NFT 1/1
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ok, so i'm going to tell u somethin secret about these circucular things: there's four of em. why four? i heard people in some countries that don't speak english don't liek the number 4, but they have NOTHING to worry about here. as can be seen, these four circucular things are very clear-as-a-fuckin-day, absolutely, totally frozen. which might mean their action is impeded? it is a mystery too great for stupid minds like mine to verifify this perhaps fact, so i will be content to say:
in ur brain there's like an upper part i heard that has liek, words, and shit in it. and then there's a littler animal part down below that wordy shit part of your brain, and its liek: ok, maybe the wordy shit part of the brain has a half, and the animal part of the brain has a half on each side, so there's like four circles. NOW WHAT IF U FROZE THOSE CIRCLES? ok, that is the possibly kind of not really smart thing about this, liek those parts o' the brain could fight and be mean to each other liek kids on a school bus with a cracksmoking bus driver, but if u took those kids out and froze them in 0 degree fahrenheit weather, they wouldn't do shit. they'd just be frozen, liek these circles which are getting along just fine because they ain't doing shit.
so just remember my wisdoms: if u want shit to get along, freeze it…liek i guess if someone attacks u, u can lock him in your freezer and he'd not be able to attack u. which is supposedly fine if its self-defense. but when u got circles, freeze 'em, they'll get along i think.
now, as for the penguin, what's the penguin's job? it's bein' right in the center, and freezing the assholes off of these circles, that's what.
crystalbrain-veryveryveryveryvery nft 1/1
Take ur ETHs here to buy this NFT:
https://zora.co/collections/0xc243E1C80aEC8b7229F586d54a4880CF074eA38F/1
now this is some grade a, no government inspected, blue energy looking shit that looks like its caressing your neurons like some "massooose" at a rub and tug. this looks like its straight out of some void or some galaxy that a telelescoper saw with its electric eye, and its exciting and calming at the same time. i don't like to use the word "energy" like some new age kool-aid drinker but its fuckin got a great energy to it, no? if i were stranded in space and i had to pick only one direction to go into and i saw this, i would totally point my dick in the direction of this blue thing. yeah maybe there's a blue star or some shit in it, but at least i would get to look at something cool before i fizzled into a star like a fuckin skydiver into fire.
i like this thing because i am crystalbrain and i make digital art therefore i am i think or maybe not, all the philosophers ate my braincells like i said before. but this is pretty neat, for you to have and you can mos def take your eths to it and be like "hey cool this is mine".
https://undefinedlabelnoise.com
crystalbrain-trump micropenis
ok, donald j. trump just doesn't understand teh whole CIA thing, which is that we have constant, orgiastic, cocaine-fueled man-on-man sex orgies. we didn't know why, but evenentually we figured out why donald trump has no fuckin gay sex with us: he has a very, very, very small penis. eye think that trump paid stormy daniels money 2 say that his penis looked liek toad from mario kart becuz this is actually a compliment compared 2 the reality of trump's incredibly small penis. it is really small, at first i thought i was looking at a clitoris but it was not the case becuz there was a nutsaq underneath it, and it was liek just a tiny little dick with two gigantic balls that apparently maek him act even dumber than me. he was really bitchy about cocaine acting all holier than though about it but we eventually got his ass to do a line. he wouldn't smoke crack becuz his two gigantic manballs made him a testosterone filled racist but since cocaine is for rich ppl he thought, we were able 2 convince him 2 at least try it. all i gotta say is that donald trump out-assholed everyone, every CIA agent was completely baffled as 2 how someone could be such a grandiosose asshole and i for one did not want him near teh cocaine again. he didn't know how 2 be a world leader, becuz he couldn't handle his cocaine.
so anyways, he doesn't listen 2 our coke-addled advice and then the fucker turns on us and tries 2 get rid of teh legislature we control, leik hello? we're teh CIA, we were on to your ass the second u wouldn't show us ur penis, did u not know that we used interdimensional superpowers 2 keep u from overthrowing our cool little circle of rich cocaine heads? u think ur a real machivellian but ur not realistic enough, ur just leik a really dumb schoolyard bully who's mad cuz he got a D minus on a math quiz and his dad fucked him in the ass as punishment. seriously, what can i say that hasn't been said about u? oh, i know, u call hentai "japanese cartoons" but these are actually sex demons that ur penis will never experience.
because its too fuckin' small.
crystalbrain-space NFT 1/1
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ok, so i don't understand this. there is space, and it's melting, but it ain't liek heat that's doing it; no it's more running liek paint that got wet, just drippin around liek a woman in a bikini from the water i guess, do u know what i mean? why is p in brackets? if u take the p out, it says sace, which might be a word but if it is i'm too dumb 2 know it. i got an idea: i trained my brain how to read from the names of produkts i saw on the shelves in the grocecery store, so don't put brackets in stuff because it confuses me. i know, i know here's something to chew on: why r u lookin at me liek that? do u think i talk liek this and actually went to school instead of smoking crack with the janitor while he tried to teach me greek philosophy?
i have an idea: this image is the result of image manipulation, liek i'm taeking another image i made & i said "i don't liek this shit" & decided to make something better ok? and when the colors were all runny and drippy i was finally satisfied and said "ah hah! this is good!" and why is it good? becuz it took me 6 days to make this & i rested on the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th day, which gives u a week where you work for six days and rest for four, ok? that's really what i got 2 say about that and if u don't liek it u can kiss my my brainus.
a 6x6 square of crystalbrain
yeth, eye have made enough NFTs 2 cover 35 squares, witch leaves one square to put my name in (it's in teh bottom right and says "crystalbrain"). eye am proud of my work, witch comes as easily as female ejactulation 2 women in videos when u search "squirting" with safesearch off.
there is much crack cocaine 2 be smoked, so i will be short. the CIA has used interdimensional listening devices in the molecules of crack rocks in this city, so i have to be quiet or they will pick up on my voice and seventeen different types of aliens will show up and try unsuccessfully to vaporize me as i bat away their UFOs with my enormous gay penis toward the galaxy andromeda. eye am not fucking around, eye have played cat and mouse with teh CIA for 2 long.
anyways, buy my NFTs.
crystalbrain-anaeris dorisopen NFT 1/1
ok, so crystalbrain is not too smart sometimes, maybe because of all the crystals put in there like new age dudes.
crystalbrain posted an nft that they had already posted; dumb huh?
and in the post was something like the idea that someone had taken the nft onto an an anti-nft blog and posted it as free art and welll....
crystalbrain’s response was that, yes, basically, u can do that because these are just fucking images that people specoolate on but that you can buy the nft because...
uhm....
well....
uhhhhh....
let’s seee......
hmm....
buy crystalbrain’s NFT lol
now on to the descriptive text of this one:
ok, so i have a bunch of these freaking ghosts in my head i thought for a while. like u know those scientologists? well they're dumb i guess, but they think these alien fuckwad things called thetans attach to ur body like scotch tape or ticks or something. anywaaay, what i mean to say is that i am completely a lunatic, and thought that my memories were actually ghosts in my brain, like they had just wandered in and hijacked some neurons. then i started thinking, maybe these ghosts were actually just a joke, like all this stuff i remember, its actually a fucking joke like "why did the ghost cross the road? because it was haunting the chicken!" see? i just made that shit up, and maybe a ghost told me to do it. that would be really dumb new age bullshit wouldn't it? just being made of ghosts. like your 5th birthday party? just a ghost 5th birthday party? the first time u ever jerked off right? a ghost. like imagine just ghosts everywhere. like maybe u don't even have a body, maybe its just that a bunch of ghosts tell u that u have a body. see? i'm a smart thinker, hire me as ur cult leader and i'll tell u its ok to screw a lot of people.
https://zora.co/collections/0xb8642926904C3D27566e27A515971E2eacd65f5a/1
crystalbrain-bull mitosis
[1/1] nft on zora.co (eth)
ok, so i feel like there is a strange, strange, eerie thing about this...like a god of bullshit or something is trying to reproduce his profits after putting his sperm in a bullshit egg. is this acceptable? we have become a society of bullshit, it's not hard to imagine that bullshit itself could be a subject of art. but this isn't just any bullshit, this is a really cool looking fractal representation of bullshit which begs to be traded among investors like the nest egg of a dude who bet all his money on TwatCoin or whatever shit people came up with. Is this acceptable for us who have to live with the financial fallout of a dude with like zero ethics sticking his dick in the ass of an obscene bull? I do not know. What was I even talking about, i have like seventeen psych meds to turn loose like ballerina dancers in my neurons, so pardon me while i take a chill pill. i guess you could say that i have a love-hate relationship with bullshit. it sometimes seems like our universe is made of bullshit, but it is not so, it is only the job of the bullshitters to make u think this so they can make u drink like, mandrake tea or something like that. are you still with me? i'm not still with me...bullshit has won this round.
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crystalbrain7 reblogged this · 2 years ago
crystalbrain is deadly serious about being contemptibly stupid and also making digital art.
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