Crystalbrain-l'anus De Cristal
crystalbrain-l'anus de cristal
send ur 0.034 ETHs here:
ok, sometimes i don't know whether somethin is a mouth or an anus, but this really looks like a big anus in the sky i guess. liek maybe its made of crystal, liek etherealeum? i don't know money, i'm not too rich so i try to use cryptographickalcurrency to buy myself a demonburger at burger king. i hear a lot about a merge which is somethin crystalbrain just tries to be cool and work with, because he's a smooth criminal liek that but not liek michael jackson having kids over for sleepovers because eww forget that. i suppose if u wanted to hear something intelligent to say u could say that money is shit. actually that might not be intelligent, but money turns everythin to shit i guess, including the internet, but i need it to buy a demonburger at burger king or maybe a venus fly trap burger at some other burger joint.
this is definitely some cool shit because it is made from crystalbrain's biography being turned into a kaleidoscope which ended up looking like a crystal anus. there was a lot of tweaking (not that kind of tweaking) and then it looked more anus-like, and then a gradient was put on the background. are u with me? be birthed like a turd into whatever lies beyond, maybe a golden toilet or somethin, i dunno.
More Posts from Crystalbrain7 and Others
crystalbrain-kim jong un toilet 1/1 NFT on opensea
ok. so i was in kim jong un's meth lab he uses to ship shit to the yakuza and dennis rodman shows up with like this military garb and he's liek asking kim jong un how he looks and shit. and i'm like, dude, ur in teh wrong place, ur out of ur league, if u get any farther into this shit even van damme isn't going 2 come save u from the can of stalinist whoop-ass that kim jong un is gonna unleash on u. anyways dennis rodman looks liek i hurt his feelings and so i fuckin get give him this bump of 100% pure crystal and he brightens up liek a christmas tree. anyways, i just sort of let him show all these basketball moves that kim jong un's generals pretend 2 be interested in, and then after kim jong un smokes a chunk of ice he's liek ranting and raving about how he's gonna send another bomb flying over japan……into the ocean, just to fuck with them. and he laughs and he gives me this look liek i'm expected to laugh, so i'm pretending to laugh and i can hear the basketball in the other room…it was some serious shit, man.
anyways i ask for some food and he's liek "hell naw, i gave u some meth u don't need 2 eat" liek i'm some kinda dude who just because he's just smoked meth in north korea with kim jong un doesn't need 2 eat. wtf man, i'm liek trying to think of a way 2 get out of there and i'm pissed so i used my telepathetic mind powers and take over kim jong un's mind. then i instruct him 2 put his head in teh toilet and i give him a swirly. his head is all wet and shit and i liek take his pants off and there's leik some serious gay sex going on when dennis rodman comes in teh room with his rod out and i'm liek "dude, can't u see i'm givin the old swirly screw to kim jong un" and he's liek "ok, ok whatever". anyways kim jong un drowned in teh toilet so that was a nuclear crisis averted but the yakuza were pissed becuz they didn't get their meth shipments. however one of kim jong un's body doubles just fuckin started pretendin' 2 be the dear leader again, and i'm liek, "fuck. my work is wasted." but i think this guy doesn't have what it takes 2 be kim jong un becuz he's not a preening sociopath and i think this woman who runs the secret police wants 2 kill him already. we'll see how it goes. anyways i have 2 swim across a river to get 2 china but since i have superpowers it was easy. i even caught a bullet in my teeth and spit it back at a border guard and he flew all the way from china 2 seoul, south korea and all the south koreans were liek "wtf is this dead dude doing here"?
anyways i get into china and i'm liek trying 2 diffuse military tensions between the US and china now, so wish me luck.
crystalbrain-anaeris dorisopen NFT 1/1
ok, so crystalbrain is not too smart sometimes, maybe because of all the crystals put in there like new age dudes.
crystalbrain posted an nft that they had already posted; dumb huh?
and in the post was something like the idea that someone had taken the nft onto an an anti-nft blog and posted it as free art and welll....
crystalbrain’s response was that, yes, basically, u can do that because these are just fucking images that people specoolate on but that you can buy the nft because...
uhm....
well....
uhhhhh....
let’s seee......
hmm....
buy crystalbrain’s NFT lol
now on to the descriptive text of this one:
ok, so i have a bunch of these freaking ghosts in my head i thought for a while. like u know those scientologists? well they're dumb i guess, but they think these alien fuckwad things called thetans attach to ur body like scotch tape or ticks or something. anywaaay, what i mean to say is that i am completely a lunatic, and thought that my memories were actually ghosts in my brain, like they had just wandered in and hijacked some neurons. then i started thinking, maybe these ghosts were actually just a joke, like all this stuff i remember, its actually a fucking joke like "why did the ghost cross the road? because it was haunting the chicken!" see? i just made that shit up, and maybe a ghost told me to do it. that would be really dumb new age bullshit wouldn't it? just being made of ghosts. like your 5th birthday party? just a ghost 5th birthday party? the first time u ever jerked off right? a ghost. like imagine just ghosts everywhere. like maybe u don't even have a body, maybe its just that a bunch of ghosts tell u that u have a body. see? i'm a smart thinker, hire me as ur cult leader and i'll tell u its ok to screw a lot of people.
https://zora.co/collections/0xb8642926904C3D27566e27A515971E2eacd65f5a/1
crystalbrain-kaleidospiral sun tunnel NFT 1/1
ok, sometimes if u see a light at the end of a spiral, u don't know if the spiral is a womb or an asshole. maybe its both??? but at least u see the light, like you're wonderfully in the light totally freaking out liek "holy shit, there's some light wtf am i gonna do" and i don't really have an answer for that. u could just have a sandwich instead i guess. there's no need to go toward the light, didn't u learn anything from really shitty medical shows? or maybe u want to go to the light, maybe its nice and warm but personally i'm afraid of light because…..fire man, fire.
but birth! yes, ur born and the light is kind of liek, ok. gimmie my womb back, so ur tryin' to get back to the darkness but the light is tryin' to take u too, and this whole life its liek "AAHHHHH LIGHT GET ME BACK 2 THE WOMB MAN!" but is this smart? i don't know how to tell because i smoke my thoughts liek crack rocks in my neurons. its a losing game to think about the light; why not look at the cool patterns and shit? they're spiral, and squarish, and kind of magenta-pinkish; it's more of a winning proposition i guess, liek when u try to get a hooker and they say yes and u give her liek some money for sex or something.
gettin back to that light though; oh man, i dunno what i'd do about that, i'd prolly try to fly around liek some disembodied dude and possess some guy liek an evil spirit. maybe i'd find my body in an alternate reality and be liek "hey i'm taking this" and commandandeer it leik a fucking helicopter. yes. that is what i would do if i were forced to choose in this situation. then i'd just be chilling with my alternate reality body liek "look at me, i'm alive still, hahaha death fuck you"
crystalbrain changes his dumb ass over to opensea.io
ok, so crystalbrain is a dumbass of teh highest order, this has already been estabablished. BUT a smart move was to start selling his NFTs on opensea.io instead of a different place. check out these NFTs for sale (which have already been posted elsewhere, there are more 2 come in the future):
crystalbrain-liquid hollow rainbow NFT 1/1
ok, so the thing about this is that it sprungung right out of my heart liek an alien from alien or spaceballs jumping out of my solar plexus like just fucking bursting out of my chest like explosive diarrhea except its rainbow colored. are u with me? i am talking triple-dribble 3-point shooting, michael jordan slam dunking this shit right into your eyeballs liek bugs bunny in that movie space jam. what the fuck do u mean i'm crazy? naaaahh…
but this really did sort of come together like double double toil and trouble in a shitpot stew of rainbow goodness that just totally creams itself with a big nug of color that comes at u like an atom bomb of bliss.
so what do u think??? are ur ETHs ready???
crystalbrain-distortion self NFT 1/1
ur ETHs go here:
ok, so sometimes brains have somethin in them…i dunno what u'd call it, maybe Xtreme Games in the self, like Xtreme sports for the soul if ur believing in a ghost that wants to jump outta its body instead of a brain. BUT if ur believing in a brain, its sometimes woven a tapestry of FUCKING RAGE or something, like that's just melting the self around itself and ur seeing this kind of…just the beginning of it melting itself. its an angry self, that's feeling the kind of rage that is subtle like the sound of a freight train running over a hundred people when ur too far away to hear their screams.
so u just see all this crazy shit, like melting colors and all these emotions get fired up like a cigar in a havana cigar shoppe with a guy that maybe likes castro or not, and it just burns away the self and ur just sort of starting to see it twist and turn like some dumb 60s dance. but u don't see the feelings distorted unless u look real close. are you with me? i'm not so sure i'm with me, becuz of mah anger, but if u are, that's good.
anger kind of makes me want to make jokes about decapitating ppl with a butter knife even though that's hard but that's neither here nor there.
crystalbrain-dan quayle, savior of democracy 1/1 NFT on opensea
say what u want about dan quayle, he didn't get shot by jim jones and he didn't smoke our crack cocaine either. yeah, this guy believed our bullshit. i mean, he would be liek "no, no i don't want to cheat on my wife" but reagan and bush and I would insist, saying stuff like "well, this cock ain't gonna suck itself" 2 him and i guess he'd reluctantly comply. he was a real boy scout, and belieeve me, teh boy scouts are no strangers 2 sodomy. but this guy, we couldn't believe it, after bush would pull his dick out of his ass quayle would feel guilty about cheating on his wife, so we mostly kinda kept him away from teh dark shit we were doin', liek filling heaven with crack cocaine. yeah, he was a real moral kinda guy but he wanted that power, u know, 2 be a great leader and all that…fuck that, we were just about the money, crack cocaine, and hardcore, man-on-man anal sex.
but it turns out dat this guy coulda saved the illusion of democracy in america. yeah, i know, what the fuck are you talking about? i mean we ran the show with our three letter agencies, but this guy wanted ppl 2 be elected fair and square, so when that ass-clown donald trump had his brigade of neckbeard horse-porn masturbators march on teh capitol, vice president mike pence was supposed officially say that teh president was joe biden, and donald trump was reeeeally gonna throw him under the bus for that shit, becuz even tho it was teh democrats turn to unfuck things up that we'd fucked up, quayle was at teh certification during teh capitol riot and told mike pence 2 suck it up and say that joe biden was president.
so this guy, this fuckin boy scout, is one of the reasons u don't have trump as a dick-tater. so u have to give him credit for that.
crystalbrain-tenfold gate NFT 1/1
this is "tenfold gate". send ur 0.034 ETHs here:
ok, so what i'm about to tell u is…imagine a monster with ten assholes. now, u can imagine that this picture is liek a representation of a ten assholed monster. but the thing is, the monster is actually fact-as-a-fucking-day also a representation of something else which is not a ten assholed monster. do u see where i'm coming from? leik imagine if for every finger u had, there was one asshole, and u were grabbing this monster with both hands to try to fight with it. wouldn't that be sumthin? i think so, that's why i made this picture. fun fact: a ten assholed monster can be gangbanged by ten people, did u know that or did i have to just spell it out for u?
now this doesn't look liek a ten assholed monster, but lots of things don't look liek what they are. liek did u know that a shot-glass full of gasoleen is not whiskey? i knew that, which is why when my crack dealer i didn't pay tried to give me one, i totally turned him down. i just sort of knew "hey this smells liek gasoleen, i better not drink this". this has absolutely nothing to do with anything, or did u not realize that? i guess u could put ten gas pumps up ten assholes and totally fill em up but then u might get a big fountain of gas all over ur new armani suit u bought with ethereum from some colombian guy.
crystalbrain-broken sphere NFT 1/1
send ur ETHs here:
ok, sometimes u have a sphere or somethin i guess; liek think of the 360 dedegree angels around u. i mean angles not angels sorry, fuck that. but u can be liek, ok…everything around me is fucked, theres like a bunch of shit that just don't make sense, maybe becuz u r crazy. it might not be that u r crazy tho, it could be other ppl around u r crazy. so everything is just fucked up liek i said, there's just a broken sphere: 360 degrees of fucked. its just liek broken glass and other dumb shit around u, just annoying stuff.
i guess our sphere is kinda broken maybe? or maybe not; maybe if u were liek schizophrenic ur sphere would be broken, liek just a bunch of crazy shit around u liek a bad acid trip but it just keeps goin on and on. does this sound appeeling? i dunno, i think it could suck; liek u'd just be paranoid i guess because everything is just liek broken glass. i dunno what i'm really talking about, i'm a moron, my sphere might be broken maybe.
get outta my sphere!
crystalbrain-failed megalomaniac putin 1/1 NFT on opensea
mr. putin was always a difficulty. wtf is he invading countries crystalbrain didn't give him permission to invade? if ur going 2 invade a country, u better make sure u have crystalbrain on ur side or he'll ritually sodomize u while smoking a huge rock of crack cocaine, which is the fate that awaits vladimir putin. yes, he will be anally humiliated and made 2 be the bottom of some serious man-on-man action. u don't go invade ukraine if crystalbrain says no, or the CIA says no, or u will fall from grace. we have zelenskyy all pissed off becuz u invaded his country, wtf were u doing, drinking that vodka shit? u need to have a nice session with our buddies in intel and share ur sexual exploits while getting high with us, that's ur problem mr. putin, u don't know how to have fun so u kill ppl.
now, u will find that there's going 2 be lots of ukrainian soldiers blowing the shit out of everything u send at them becuz ur a dumbass, and that's what happens 2 dumbasses that can't fight wars right and don't know how to handle their crack cocaine and listen 2 repressed homosexuals who wanna pretend liek they're some kind of right-wing philosopher asshole who's 2 afraid of anal sex so he fucks over russia with his dumbass thoughts. imagine 4 a second if u could stop drinking vodka 4 a moment and think about what ur actually doing. u will find that its some dumbass shit. no one lieks u, we all think ur some kind of guy with a failed country that he had a chance 2 maek into a great eden of debauchery but he instead sent all the dudes off to get their asses blown off by HIMSARs
ur a fuckin dumbass putin and u fell from grace dude, if hell still existed even satan would kick u out.
-
industrial-1 liked this · 2 years ago -
yusuphaircut liked this · 2 years ago -
crystalbrain7 reblogged this · 2 years ago
crystalbrain is deadly serious about being contemptibly stupid and also making digital art.
50 posts