Crystalbrain-distortion Self NFT 1/1
crystalbrain-distortion self NFT 1/1
ur ETHs go here:
ok, so sometimes brains have somethin in them…i dunno what u'd call it, maybe Xtreme Games in the self, like Xtreme sports for the soul if ur believing in a ghost that wants to jump outta its body instead of a brain. BUT if ur believing in a brain, its sometimes woven a tapestry of FUCKING RAGE or something, like that's just melting the self around itself and ur seeing this kind of…just the beginning of it melting itself. its an angry self, that's feeling the kind of rage that is subtle like the sound of a freight train running over a hundred people when ur too far away to hear their screams.
so u just see all this crazy shit, like melting colors and all these emotions get fired up like a cigar in a havana cigar shoppe with a guy that maybe likes castro or not, and it just burns away the self and ur just sort of starting to see it twist and turn like some dumb 60s dance. but u don't see the feelings distorted unless u look real close. are you with me? i'm not so sure i'm with me, becuz of mah anger, but if u are, that's good.
anger kind of makes me want to make jokes about decapitating ppl with a butter knife even though that's hard but that's neither here nor there.
More Posts from Crystalbrain7 and Others
crystalbrain-tiles of fate NFT 1/1
ok, why is this called tiles of fate?? i was projecting my brain into a video store with liek flesh-body attached and i saw there was a nintendo game called tiles of fate. what the fuck, it was unlicencensed, so it didnt look liek other nintendo cartrididges. so i bring it home and what the fuck, the game sucks. so that was not cool at all i guess, unless the tiles were made of drugs in which case u could freebase them i guess but they were in a video game so that's not possible right? right. anyways, i feel that these tiles are fated to make me famous, where ppl put lots of dollars in my bank account and put me on a pedestal and say "ur not a drug smoking loser, ur a winner!" and i have a VH1 special from the early 2000s about how i did a bunch of bad stuff then stopped.
but as u can see, this image is quite possibibly, definately, most surely tiled in a weird way, which gives it the charm that it has, which most definitely makes it a better fit for whatever mind trip ur on. maybe ur fated to be stuck inside a computer? i say nah, u just puff away liek cigarette smoke in the wind and ur dissississipated. is that so bad? did u want to be ur avatar in heaven? in hell? i don't want that shit, fuck that, someone give me liek a computer where i can control ur asses with my crystalbrain, that's my fate.
crystalbrain-crack rock on a scale 1/1 NFT on opensea.io
ok, so teh thing about music is that crack rock doesn't get 2 much mention as far as i know. it's fucked u know, some drug that's this powerful, and it got liek no mention. when i was a little crystalbrain, everyone was smoking crack. liek teh news was always sayin "hey, there's all these ppl smokin crack"…of course they tried 2 paint it liek only black ppl smoked crack becuz this scares white ppl, but there were white ppl smokin crack 2, not teh least of which was ronald and nancy reagan whom i have shared many quarter rocks with. yeah, they had teh best microwave money could buy in teh white house, and that muthafuckah was so good at cookin' rock that when teh lighter hit teh crack it sounded liek a sparkler. yeah, i've mentioned teh legendary crack rock that george bush pulled out of that sonuvabitch, but what i want 2 talk 2 u about today is musicians and crack rock, and teh serious lack of songs about smoking cocaine in rock form when it was at its height. yeah, there's some stuff by nas, a few mentions here and there in music, but 4 somethin that was so important 2 teh history of teh world, u would think that there would be more that would be devoted 2 such a sacred rock. no, when someone talks about a rock on a song, its usually an engagement ring or somethin i guess, not a rock of cocaine. or maybe ROCK N ROLL, which is NOT about smoking rock cocaine and rolling on ecstacy, as disappoiointed as i was to find this out.
thats why i made this NFT: i wanted 2 show how crack rock could be musical. on this motherfucking NFT we have a musical scale, and its motherfuckin got a lot to say namely the words, "C R A C K" and "R O C K"…how do u play this on the piano? well see, u pick up ur crack pipe with a rock in it, get up on teh keys, and start dancin' around like a crazy dude while applyin' a flame to ur rock. there is some leftover devilry from when i was talking about the crown prince of saudi arabia and how he just doesn't seem to get crack smoking liek george bush or saddam hussein or something, and thinks he's some kind of cool machivellian edgelord…anyways, it left an impression on my mind, and so we have some COCAINE in an upside down five pointed star lol. is this proper? of course, there is no way that cocaine can be used that isn't proper: in the nose, in coca tea form, in a syringe, as freebase, as rock, in a damn enema, and any other motherfucking way u can think to use it. maybe as eardrops? eyedrops? the sky is the limit 2 this incredibly versatitile substance.
crystalbrain-crown prince mohammed bin salman in the cannabyss 1/1 NFT on opensea
ok, so this crown prince guy is similar to liek some dude in the west who got too involved in reading stupid satanic books and thinks he's some machivellian nietzschean superman but he can't match my powers cuz i destroyed heaven and hell and its all my show man. this guy smokes way too much pot, liek i shouldn't talk becuz half of my time is spent hitting teh crack rock but this dude thinks he's so fuckin edgy because he smokes so much weed. i was liek, "dude, ur teh crown prince, u need to smoke crack liek all teh other world leaders" and he just was liek "huh?" becuz he was so stoned. and i was liek "dude, ur not cool enough yet, here, hit this rock" and he got so cracked up and he was all paranoid from teh weed and coke mixing together and decided to attack yemen…and then he tried to think he was the ultimate edgelord becuz he'd smoked teh crack and he talked about his political manoovering and i'm liek "ok, we get it, ur an asshole, we all are dude, get over it"
i'm not sure what to think of this guy, he needs to grow teh fuck up and worship me, becuz i'm his interdimensional crack dealer who has liek a limitless supply of crack and a huge dong, and he's liek sitting on motherfucking mammoth amounts of oil so i know he can fuckin buy some from me. but then he won't pass teh pipe when u smoke with him, he tries to power trip and starts showing off by liek having a journalist executed blatantly and i'm liek "dude, u r such a fuckin dumbass, real men smoke crack, put that marijuana shit away, its makin u paranoid".
now teh thing about crack cocaine is that smokin a lot of it maeks u reallly paranoid but this guy just talks about how i'm his nietzschean superman when i fuck him in teh ass, as liek an excuse for his homosexuality that he barely conceals with his edgelord wars in yemen and syria. what a fuckin douche, i really hate this guy; i hope his ancestors come to him in a dream and castrate him and he wakes up with no balls, becuz it wouldn't make much difference, this guy already has no balls; he's just givin commands. he doesn't even liek bdsm himself, he just lieks a vanilla assfucking and that's just boring these days, i can't get these dictators to do anything original, it's all "oh, i'll tell my guys to go get these people" and then they give 'em liek a few blowjobs and a few envelopes of cash and boooooom they think they're so cool.
dickhead.
crystalbrain-seaweed75 NFT 1/1
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ok did u ever see the matrix, i guess it was a movie? there was a lot of green digital shit goin on like a bunch of zeroes and ones fucking together in a black void of weird shit, it was a good movie. but imagine seaweed; if you get possibly vegan seaweed u can cover the sides of ur sushi with it, so its like a bunch of motherfucking sushi-sandwiching green-stuff. but if u look at seaweed in the matrix maybe it would look like this. why make art about seaweed?? i dunno, there's lots of renahsahns dudes who made like bowls of fruits for dollars by the new class of people created by money changing i guess. so i guess if u can make art about fruit of the loom or whatever u can make seaweed matrix art.
but oh know something is kinda fucked up about this art; no its not jpeg corruption, there's some fucked upness to this picture, and u can rest assured that it is not ur braincells being sodomized by seaweed in the brainus but some actually really intentionally fucked up stuff. like every post i must ask what the point is about all this? and i asked myself this and i didn't get a good answer but instead of feeling despair and putting a bullet in mah brain i decided to post this and tell u about the angst i feel in not having a good reason for this existing other than…
…i need to pay for the demonburger to eat at burger king which is teh flesh of demons i guess but its plant-based demons so whatevs.
crystalbrain-broken sphere NFT 1/1
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ok, sometimes u have a sphere or somethin i guess; liek think of the 360 dedegree angels around u. i mean angles not angels sorry, fuck that. but u can be liek, ok…everything around me is fucked, theres like a bunch of shit that just don't make sense, maybe becuz u r crazy. it might not be that u r crazy tho, it could be other ppl around u r crazy. so everything is just fucked up liek i said, there's just a broken sphere: 360 degrees of fucked. its just liek broken glass and other dumb shit around u, just annoying stuff.
i guess our sphere is kinda broken maybe? or maybe not; maybe if u were liek schizophrenic ur sphere would be broken, liek just a bunch of crazy shit around u liek a bad acid trip but it just keeps goin on and on. does this sound appeeling? i dunno, i think it could suck; liek u'd just be paranoid i guess because everything is just liek broken glass. i dunno what i'm really talking about, i'm a moron, my sphere might be broken maybe.
get outta my sphere!
crystalbrain-crack cocaine for the soul 1/1 NFT ethereum
ok, so crystalbrain got introduced 2 crack cocaine by this dude in the motherfuckin' CIA in a VR simululation to train nicaraguan rebels. he had a glass pipe which he put a flame 2 and he took a hit and all of a sudden it was liek a hailstorm of nun-killings just jumped into his brain liek a complete disasterpiece of youphoric wonderfulness. this was after having a gay orgy with manuel noriega and some colombian dudes and it was a perfect moment of spectackular crack rock hitting wonder. this was not the first time crystalbrain had done drugs, no, he had smoked marijuana, tripped on psilocybin mushrooms, dosed on LSD, gotten fucking jacked on speed, taken benzos, rolled on ecstacy, inhaled huge balloons full of nitrous oxide, gone to other dimensions on salvia divinorum, snorted heroin, chugged cough syrup, gotten blown out of his mind on DMT, and this among probably hundrededs of other reasons is why crystalbrain did not live up to his full potential as a contributing member of the matrix.
but being with CIA agents smoking huge rocks of crack cocaine as a test 2 see if crack was a good idea 2 fill the ghettos of america with in order to be a proper instrurument of the government to keep poor people jonesin 4 a hit, he decidided that what his soul really, really deep down craved was an extatic union with the god…of crack. yes, crystalbrain had met his new god, and being 10 years old and fondled by ronald reagan he decided he would go on a mission 2 get every threat 2 the status kwo hooked on this incredibly racist form of cocaine. he snuck around on an alternate form of existence putting telepathic thoughts to buy roses in glass toobs in the inner cities of amerikkka and it was his complete desire that not only should everyone who was poor smoke crack, that eventually aliens would put the entire planet earth into one big crack pipe and take a gigantic hit off of the pipe and get high for liek…15 minutes. and thus crystalbrain went back 2 school and started selling crack cocaine 2 his classmates in the school bathroom.
it was not known at the tiem but crack cocaine made its way through multiple layers of existence, and so there were demons smoking crack, angels smoking crack, and there was god himself sittin' on his throne smoking a big fat dime rock of crack with his donations from churches. satan got in on the game and started smoking crack, but this was just in the judeo-christian realm of existence. there were buddhas smoking crack, lao tzu's force ghost was smoking crack, in the star wars universe obi wan kenobi was smoking crack with anakin, and everyone in the entire multiverse was having a great time getting high on crack. but then they all got addicted and started selling their assholes to buy crack, and then the DEA became an interdimensional entity and forced its way through the multiverse, and everyone got busted because they were selling and smoking so much crack.
crystalbrain-laser eye NFT 1/1
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ok, i got sumthin to tell u. its a secret. the laser, its liek HAL in 2069 a space fuckassy, which is my imaginary porno based on 2001 a space odddessy by stanlee koobrick. but this time there is a laser in the middle between two sets of brests, because this is the ideal place for a red light coming from a robot. but this is no regular porno, no this is a porno for robots, who are built for the sole porpoise of selling pornos to them. by making masturbation robots, u can then create a market to sell pornos 2 them. its brilliant for money making, and that's what syfy porno is about right?? right???
i know these don't look liek breasts, but they are syfy breasts since nerds cant get real brests this is the best i could do with. maybe they're robot brests???? i got a good idea, liek if u were on a space ship with a bunch of doods going 2 jupiter or wherever the fuck and the machine tried to fuck u instead of kill u, wouldn't u be happier? this is why 2069 a space fuckassy is a superior flick to 2001, even if 2001 has fantasy shit by director stanlee koobrick. r u with me people? robot sex = better than robot killing. i know arthur see clark wrote a novel aboot 2001, but that shit didn't happen, we didn't go to jupiter or wherever the fuck in a psychedelic tunnel of wtf in 2001, so we'll all have sex on a spaceship in 2069 instead.
do u people capeesh or do i have 2 go on????
crystalbrain-l'anus de cristal
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ok, sometimes i don't know whether somethin is a mouth or an anus, but this really looks like a big anus in the sky i guess. liek maybe its made of crystal, liek etherealeum? i don't know money, i'm not too rich so i try to use cryptographickalcurrency to buy myself a demonburger at burger king. i hear a lot about a merge which is somethin crystalbrain just tries to be cool and work with, because he's a smooth criminal liek that but not liek michael jackson having kids over for sleepovers because eww forget that. i suppose if u wanted to hear something intelligent to say u could say that money is shit. actually that might not be intelligent, but money turns everythin to shit i guess, including the internet, but i need it to buy a demonburger at burger king or maybe a venus fly trap burger at some other burger joint.
this is definitely some cool shit because it is made from crystalbrain's biography being turned into a kaleidoscope which ended up looking like a crystal anus. there was a lot of tweaking (not that kind of tweaking) and then it looked more anus-like, and then a gradient was put on the background. are u with me? be birthed like a turd into whatever lies beyond, maybe a golden toilet or somethin, i dunno.
crystalbrain-tenfold gate NFT 1/1
this is "tenfold gate". send ur 0.034 ETHs here:
ok, so what i'm about to tell u is…imagine a monster with ten assholes. now, u can imagine that this picture is liek a representation of a ten assholed monster. but the thing is, the monster is actually fact-as-a-fucking-day also a representation of something else which is not a ten assholed monster. do u see where i'm coming from? leik imagine if for every finger u had, there was one asshole, and u were grabbing this monster with both hands to try to fight with it. wouldn't that be sumthin? i think so, that's why i made this picture. fun fact: a ten assholed monster can be gangbanged by ten people, did u know that or did i have to just spell it out for u?
now this doesn't look liek a ten assholed monster, but lots of things don't look liek what they are. liek did u know that a shot-glass full of gasoleen is not whiskey? i knew that, which is why when my crack dealer i didn't pay tried to give me one, i totally turned him down. i just sort of knew "hey this smells liek gasoleen, i better not drink this". this has absolutely nothing to do with anything, or did u not realize that? i guess u could put ten gas pumps up ten assholes and totally fill em up but then u might get a big fountain of gas all over ur new armani suit u bought with ethereum from some colombian guy.
crystalbrain-kim jong un toilet 1/1 NFT on opensea
ok. so i was in kim jong un's meth lab he uses to ship shit to the yakuza and dennis rodman shows up with like this military garb and he's liek asking kim jong un how he looks and shit. and i'm like, dude, ur in teh wrong place, ur out of ur league, if u get any farther into this shit even van damme isn't going 2 come save u from the can of stalinist whoop-ass that kim jong un is gonna unleash on u. anyways dennis rodman looks liek i hurt his feelings and so i fuckin get give him this bump of 100% pure crystal and he brightens up liek a christmas tree. anyways, i just sort of let him show all these basketball moves that kim jong un's generals pretend 2 be interested in, and then after kim jong un smokes a chunk of ice he's liek ranting and raving about how he's gonna send another bomb flying over japan……into the ocean, just to fuck with them. and he laughs and he gives me this look liek i'm expected to laugh, so i'm pretending to laugh and i can hear the basketball in the other room…it was some serious shit, man.
anyways i ask for some food and he's liek "hell naw, i gave u some meth u don't need 2 eat" liek i'm some kinda dude who just because he's just smoked meth in north korea with kim jong un doesn't need 2 eat. wtf man, i'm liek trying to think of a way 2 get out of there and i'm pissed so i used my telepathetic mind powers and take over kim jong un's mind. then i instruct him 2 put his head in teh toilet and i give him a swirly. his head is all wet and shit and i liek take his pants off and there's leik some serious gay sex going on when dennis rodman comes in teh room with his rod out and i'm liek "dude, can't u see i'm givin the old swirly screw to kim jong un" and he's liek "ok, ok whatever". anyways kim jong un drowned in teh toilet so that was a nuclear crisis averted but the yakuza were pissed becuz they didn't get their meth shipments. however one of kim jong un's body doubles just fuckin started pretendin' 2 be the dear leader again, and i'm liek, "fuck. my work is wasted." but i think this guy doesn't have what it takes 2 be kim jong un becuz he's not a preening sociopath and i think this woman who runs the secret police wants 2 kill him already. we'll see how it goes. anyways i have 2 swim across a river to get 2 china but since i have superpowers it was easy. i even caught a bullet in my teeth and spit it back at a border guard and he flew all the way from china 2 seoul, south korea and all the south koreans were liek "wtf is this dead dude doing here"?
anyways i get into china and i'm liek trying 2 diffuse military tensions between the US and china now, so wish me luck.
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felipedevicente liked this · 2 years ago -
crystalbrain7 reblogged this · 2 years ago
crystalbrain is deadly serious about being contemptibly stupid and also making digital art.
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