Crystalbrain-laser Eye NFT 1/1
crystalbrain-laser eye NFT 1/1
send ur 0.034 ETHs to:
ok, i got sumthin to tell u. its a secret. the laser, its liek HAL in 2069 a space fuckassy, which is my imaginary porno based on 2001 a space odddessy by stanlee koobrick. but this time there is a laser in the middle between two sets of brests, because this is the ideal place for a red light coming from a robot. but this is no regular porno, no this is a porno for robots, who are built for the sole porpoise of selling pornos to them. by making masturbation robots, u can then create a market to sell pornos 2 them. its brilliant for money making, and that's what syfy porno is about right?? right???
i know these don't look liek breasts, but they are syfy breasts since nerds cant get real brests this is the best i could do with. maybe they're robot brests???? i got a good idea, liek if u were on a space ship with a bunch of doods going 2 jupiter or wherever the fuck and the machine tried to fuck u instead of kill u, wouldn't u be happier? this is why 2069 a space fuckassy is a superior flick to 2001, even if 2001 has fantasy shit by director stanlee koobrick. r u with me people? robot sex = better than robot killing. i know arthur see clark wrote a novel aboot 2001, but that shit didn't happen, we didn't go to jupiter or wherever the fuck in a psychedelic tunnel of wtf in 2001, so we'll all have sex on a spaceship in 2069 instead.
do u people capeesh or do i have 2 go on????
More Posts from Crystalbrain7 and Others
crystalbrain changes his dumb ass over to opensea.io
ok, so crystalbrain is a dumbass of teh highest order, this has already been estabablished. BUT a smart move was to start selling his NFTs on opensea.io instead of a different place. check out these NFTs for sale (which have already been posted elsewhere, there are more 2 come in the future):
crystalbrain-freedom 666 NFT 1/1 on opensea
ok, so the fuckin thing about this is that america gives liberty to do shit. liek, i know that we manipulate teh fuck out of people and do all kinds of bad shit to ourselves and other people, and we liek, committed genocide and stole the whole fuckin country, but there's liek this other side to stuff, liek about freedom and human rights. r we embarassingly full of shit? yes! but u can have whatever religion u want, u can be a christian, a muslim, some kind of weird witch, or just a hindu or an esoteric weirdo, its all allowed even if ppl will give u shit, which they're allowed 2 bcuz of freedom of speech. u can say all kinds of nice stuff, or not so nice stuff, but lately, some motherfuckers want 2 change all this shit, they want 2 force their shit down ppls throats, and that ain't happenin'.
the statue of liberty or somethin is a symbol of liek immigrants coming in 2 get harassed by cops in cities but its also a symbol of the good shit about america, before we blew it by trying 2 force our beliefs down each other's asses. there was a time not 2 long ago where u could be liek…hey, abortion? cool! sodomy? cool! and people would call u a bitch or gay or whatever, but at least u could get an abortion or not worry about some dickhead with insecurity in their masculininity fuckin shooting up teh place where u hang out. i mean, yes, america is totally full of shit, but i'd take the chance 2 say the good stuff about it, liek about how we can say shit, and maybe the government will bust u on drug charges even though i smoked crack with ronald mcreagan, but its mostly ok, u can say shit without getting thrown in a gulag.
so anyways, i usually talk about smoking crack with bush or how we smuggled oil in the caskets of dead soldiers or somethin but this time i just want 2 say: if u want to say "fuck u" to conservative values, u have the right 2, even if they try 2 turn u into a homeless crackhead. so inverted crosses r ok, havin the number of the beast is ok, it's freedom 666, u can be a weird edgelord dude or whatever and the cops won't arrest u although u might get watched bcuz of people eroding the right 2 be an asshole.
https://undefinedlabelnoise.com
crystalbrain-flower of aerisithe NFT 1/1
send ur 0.034 ETHs here:
check it out! there was this girl i fell in love with but it was dumb because i knew she was going to die because some motherfucker on a website called square.net from liek 1997 ruined the scene just liek i'm telling u what happens in the game, but it was a game that is forever known as FINAL FANTASY VII, and it looks bettah in caps because fuck yeah, capital letters.
but anyways this brain had its nervousity system hooked up to a tv and it was SHIT because he was playing this game and REALLY lieked this character a LOT, but he totally knew she would be KILLED. and her name was……..don't look if u haven't played the game…AERIS.
yeah i guess its a plot point that totally remaps ur psyche into thinking the girl with ancient healing powers and shit needs to totally die by some named after a bunch of spheres that grow on a tree in a mysticital tradition, but these guys made SO MUCH MONEY fucking with my little brain. i totally couldn't believe that they had this guy with a sword just come down from the sky all cool liek but then he just KILLS AERIS. what the FUCK. if i were human i'd be in 7th grade and be liek, ok, i'm traumatized.
but what else was going on besides FINAL FANTASY VII? there was a lot of popularity with STAR WARS, which is a franchise owned by disney now and they've leik totally fucked it in the ass i heard but i didn't bother to watch, but they got these dudes called SITHS. leik, darth vader is a sith. and darth vader is totally the kind of guy who would KILL AERIS i guess, but maybe not? i don't know, but what if AERIS were a sith, leik she had healing powers but she could totally CHOKE YOUR ASS WITH HER FIST IN THE AIR.
then there is absinthe which is a kind of poisonous drink that fucks your brain cells in the ass and erases ur memory, so i put an E after sith to maek it liek AERISITHE
so put it all together, u got AERISITHE. a woman who's good hearted with ancient healing powers who fucking chokes her enemies tho and erases the memory of her demise and UNFUCKS the universe. and this is my tribute to this unfucking mind bender. THERE.
crystalbrain-george motherfucking bush 1/1 NFT
ok, so do you remember this dude, george h.w. bush?? he totally held up a bag of crack cocaine on TV and this was supposed to make us like afraid of black dudes all high on crack with guns and shit. like ok what the fuck ever, you certainly remember the big quarter-rock of crack you took out of the microwave and passed around with me and reagan, or are you so short on memory, maybe from smoking so much premium rock? like i totally remember we were standing inside that petroleum refinery when i was 11 and you just sort of fondled my ass and asked me with a sweet grin if i wanted to get really high. and i was like "what the fuck dude, there's oil everywhere, don't light that shit up in here, you'll burn the place down." and then you hit it anyways and reagan had to put out the fire with a garden hose that i thought looked like a snake because i was so high after you passed the rock to me. anyways, saddam fucked with your oil in kuwait and you got pissed off at him like some wrathful babylonian deity and i was like "just chill man, the dude just wants a port to ship his oil out of, just let it be or something."
but then i took another hit of crack and the thought of blowing the shit out of a foreign country sounded kind of cool in that cracked up kind of way we had with ourselves. do you want to know a secret? saddam and i were like BDSM buddies after the war ended; yeah, i took my 13 year old self over to iraq and we were like trying out new torture techniques on each other, it was really kind of fun. can you picture my 13 year old ass with a whip just givin it hard to saddam while chicks in harem pants stuffed grapes in his mouth and slapped him around with hot spatulas? because i never told you about that george, i never got a chance to. so while most people remember the US army giving it hard in the ass to saddam, i was the real deal, i actually raided his palace and we played hide-and-go-fuck-yourself with all kinds of cool mesopotamian torture devices. what the fuck do you think of that, huh? you never had so much fun.
crystalbrain-le avion NFT 1/1
buy this NFT with ur ETHs here:
https://zora.co/collections/0x5838e5923e479BD4d12868F9D554E7f68880Fb2F/1
ok, so birds are a strange thing. they fly over u i guess, and sometimes they fly at u i guess; it's a matter of taste or braververy for the bird i suppose. if the bird was an eth addict and u had some eth maybe it would fly into ur home or ur wallet or something. maybe it could be a meth addict bird and then it'd be skinny and ugly but this one looks more like something else, maybe a hypnagogmagogic hallucination (fuck, i hate teh book of revelations). but remember u can't spell meth with out e-t-h. that's ETH that u give me, and i promise I won't give any birds meth.
flying over ur head and pooping on u is sometimes things birdz do, yes. oui. why is there french in here? does crystalbrain even speak french like some guy that went to france so the maga dudes wouldn't nail him to the cross for being a filthy artist? i don't know, crystalbrain sometimes isn't too smart about these things, but crystalbrain is aware that in french pornos french girls go "oui oui oui!" when they're getting it on. that reminds me of the little finger that went we we we all the way home i guess, but maybe this is stupid because the finger wasn't on some french girl in a porno speaking sign language translation to the masturbators.
i guess what crystalbrain's trying to say is that crystalbrain is 1) fucking maybe insane maybe not and 2) created this art about birds which has nothing to do with meth or french girls saying oui or maybe it does. crystalbrain don't know.
https://undefinedlabelnoise.com/index.php?crystalbrain=index for a curatated list of crystalbrain NFTs.
crystalbrain-crack angel NFT 1/1 on opensea.io
ok, so liek, this is crack angel. wtf is a crack angel? well, it's an angel…of crack cocaine. yes, in the many strange dimensions that exist there are angels that are high on crack, or that dispense crack, or that want you 2 smoke crack so bad that they appear before u in all their glory and bid thee 2 smoke a rock from a crack pipe. crack angels can also serve as messengers of crack. liek, when reagan and bush smoked crack, there was an angel that appeared before them and said "i present 2 u the divine gift…of crack". and so we discovered that crack cocaine was liek a divine ambrosia, a divine rock that maeks ppl high as fuck and rant and rave about their sexual exploits. twas a strange day in teh multiverse when teh crack showed up with a promise that it would allow teh republicans to rule over central america. it twas such a great tiem…teh angel gave a huge ounce of coke, some baking soda, and other shit, and then with the sound of trumpets teh best microwave that money could buy came down from teh heavens and was installed in teh white house.
foreign dignititaries would come up to teh white house on officicial visits, but teh real reason they came is that they wanted 2 smoke crack. it was spread all throughout teh world's leadership, everyone was in teh white house hitting teh rock. they don't call it teh "white house" 4 no reason, bcuz coke is white man, coke is white. u gotta understand that under reagan, teh white house was teh world's biggest crack house. reagan was all coked up and he even wanted 2 change teh columns of teh white house into pure rocks of cocaine, but dick cheney said that this was a bad idea and wouldn't let him. so much 4 that idea. rumor has it that perestroika and glasnost happened in the USSR bcuz gorbachev smoked so much crack with reagan, and that spot on his head was a punishment from god for smoking too much of reagan's crack when it didn't belong 2 him. i don't know about this but it could be true, who knows?
and then there was the buttfucking…so many coke orgies with world leadership…
crystalbrain-tenfold gate NFT 1/1
this is "tenfold gate". send ur 0.034 ETHs here:
ok, so what i'm about to tell u is…imagine a monster with ten assholes. now, u can imagine that this picture is liek a representation of a ten assholed monster. but the thing is, the monster is actually fact-as-a-fucking-day also a representation of something else which is not a ten assholed monster. do u see where i'm coming from? leik imagine if for every finger u had, there was one asshole, and u were grabbing this monster with both hands to try to fight with it. wouldn't that be sumthin? i think so, that's why i made this picture. fun fact: a ten assholed monster can be gangbanged by ten people, did u know that or did i have to just spell it out for u?
now this doesn't look liek a ten assholed monster, but lots of things don't look liek what they are. liek did u know that a shot-glass full of gasoleen is not whiskey? i knew that, which is why when my crack dealer i didn't pay tried to give me one, i totally turned him down. i just sort of knew "hey this smells liek gasoleen, i better not drink this". this has absolutely nothing to do with anything, or did u not realize that? i guess u could put ten gas pumps up ten assholes and totally fill em up but then u might get a big fountain of gas all over ur new armani suit u bought with ethereum from some colombian guy.
crystalbrain-failed megalomaniac putin 1/1 NFT on opensea
mr. putin was always a difficulty. wtf is he invading countries crystalbrain didn't give him permission to invade? if ur going 2 invade a country, u better make sure u have crystalbrain on ur side or he'll ritually sodomize u while smoking a huge rock of crack cocaine, which is the fate that awaits vladimir putin. yes, he will be anally humiliated and made 2 be the bottom of some serious man-on-man action. u don't go invade ukraine if crystalbrain says no, or the CIA says no, or u will fall from grace. we have zelenskyy all pissed off becuz u invaded his country, wtf were u doing, drinking that vodka shit? u need to have a nice session with our buddies in intel and share ur sexual exploits while getting high with us, that's ur problem mr. putin, u don't know how to have fun so u kill ppl.
now, u will find that there's going 2 be lots of ukrainian soldiers blowing the shit out of everything u send at them becuz ur a dumbass, and that's what happens 2 dumbasses that can't fight wars right and don't know how to handle their crack cocaine and listen 2 repressed homosexuals who wanna pretend liek they're some kind of right-wing philosopher asshole who's 2 afraid of anal sex so he fucks over russia with his dumbass thoughts. imagine 4 a second if u could stop drinking vodka 4 a moment and think about what ur actually doing. u will find that its some dumbass shit. no one lieks u, we all think ur some kind of guy with a failed country that he had a chance 2 maek into a great eden of debauchery but he instead sent all the dudes off to get their asses blown off by HIMSARs
ur a fuckin dumbass putin and u fell from grace dude, if hell still existed even satan would kick u out.
crystalbrain-citrusixtyone nft 1/1
https://zora.co/collections/0xAD13f56d7436e7dF10B9c271DBB849caDC39fc75/1
here’s what i had to say about this nft.
whoa ok, i guess some imps that were laughing at someone's face told them in their neurons that i should make a fuckin orange thing as art. and this, my friend, is fuckin orange as can be. my dad (actually the superego in my crystalbrain) says its brownish, not orange, but i disagree with him, he's totally trying to assert his dominance in the field of color interpretation and i'm going to beat him right in the face with an orange if he does not relent and offer his apologies that this is fuckin orange as fuck. i don't know, is there like a sunset that could be as cool as this? i don't know, i think i'm going to offer an orange in exchange for my soul in the caves of some lost gods with like fucking rotten oranges on some altar cuz some guy left them there and forgot about them when he asked the orange god if he'd do stuff for him. i know this isn't cute, i know i have sixty five fucking neurons left after all of the philosophers ate them but if you give me a chance i will exchange some orange with you as a token of my eternal gratitude, i am totally going to win this, this is not a joke, you will have my friendship and an orange (not a brown).
ok, so that’s what i said about it. i have to remind u all (yes, “u” not “you”) that 61 cygni is the brightest motherfucking star in the sky, and that its also called deneb. its also a BINARY STAR which means that its dual as in if the stars had guns they could fuckin duel with each other because there’s TWO of them. however, this nft motherfucking is 1/1, so only one dude with ethereum can own it. are you still with me? reading this much stupidity requires some serious pre-interwebs attentionion span, so i am tellling u that u must buy this NFT if u like oranges, people saying things are what they are when they’re not, the star deneb, or duality in general.
if u buy this nft, i offer oranges as a token of my friendendship.
other NFTs and also free experimental music offered on this motherfucking page:
https://undefinedlabelnoise.com/
crystalbrain-rectal trump NFT 1/1 on opensea.io
ok, so the thing about this is that this is teh RECTAL TRUMP, yes, this is what teh CIA wanted to do to donald j. trump, which is SHIT ON HIS FACE. this fact which is 100% true is becuz he was such an annoying sonuvabitch, we couldn't get him to do anything right. he had his own uninfoformed opinions about everything, he wouldn't listen 2 us or smoke crack, he was such a fucking shitface and this tribute is the 100% desire of crystalbrain to put FECES ON DONALD TRUMP'S FACE. yes u see him peering into eternity's rectum, and crystalbrain ate alternate dimensional versions of trump in order 2 send a huge amount of dump at trump. if u look closely u will see that the crap is made of TRUMP HIMSELF.
the thing about trump is that he's liek teh guy at the party who won't shut up. now i don't know about you, but here at crystalbrain's organization we take great pleasure in laying a log cabin on the faces of people who won't shut teh fuck up about how great they are. no, this is definitely what donald j trump had coming 2 him, he is totally covered in shit and this is a good thing for the future of humanity. we don't liek his ass so he gets 2 get a load out of ours!! we had 2 get minions 2 tie him down but in teh end it was worth it because teh stupid sonuvabitch finally shut up once he was choking on our excrement. imagine this for teh future of mankind: donald j trump UTTERLY HUMILIATED by SHIT.
don't even get me started on what we have planned for vladimir putin lol.
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crystalbrain is deadly serious about being contemptibly stupid and also making digital art.
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