Ya I Think One Of My Problems Is Ive Been Telling Ppl What I Think They Want To Hear And Acting How I

ya i think one of my problems is ive been telling ppl what i think they want to hear and acting how i think they want me to act and then im fucking surprised when it all doesnt feel real anymore. i think they probs want me to be myself but i cant even give them that. i miss how i was a few years back, when i was still like this but less, like i could still voice a dissenting opinion or let pieces of myself slip out, no matter how awkward. it feels like i'm dumbing myself down and making myself more palatable for an outcome i know i wont want. if you gaf.