It's Time Again For The ✨#ADHDCosmicTakeover!✨ My Comic This Year Is About Pinballing Helplessly

I've never been terribly active here but I've returned to share my favourite patterns that make me slightly uncomfy and/or ready to star in an absolutely CRACKING sci-fi miniseries, please enjoy.

DEGEN ADULT EYES SWEATER by Lindsay Degen

Who WOULDN'T want this Biblically accurate sweater? The perfect attire for every horrifying occasion.

#22 Raglan Sleeve Pullover by Laura Zukaite

The rather staid naming of this sweater belies its Mad Max energy. After the apocalypse comes for us I hope we can at least dress like this.

Open Waters Shawl by Melanie Berg

A good shawl to wear to a duel to the death with your mortal enemy, if your mortal enemy has trypophobia.

Romanesco Jumper by Ranti Ehinmola

Honestly, the number of variations shown in the project photos for this pattern is amazing. Not only can you fulfill your dreams of looking like a 5th Element villain, you can do it your way.

DEGEN HOLE SWEATER by Lindsay Degen

This is a practical pattern for people like me who are in denial about living in a desert and stubbornly insist on wearing knitwear despite ample evidence this is a bad idea.

Wilderness by Martin Storey

I absolutely adore the 1950s farmhouse vibe of this photo and the beauty and poise of the model juxtaposed with the fact that she looks like a human bittermelon and she is fucking KILLING it

# 17 Patterned Sweater with V-Yoke by Sabrina/Sandra team designers

An unassuming mass-produced pattern from the 90s that, just coincidentally, looks like something you'd wear to head an intergalactic delegation.

Blume by Norah Gaughan

Speaking of space sweaters, here's another that wouldn't look out of place on the bridge of a starship.

Mullion by Martin Storey

This one, on the other hand, looks more like attire for a... space council?

Space Odyssey by Anna Strandberg

This pattern is literally called "Space Odyssey". The author definitely knows.

Dark Moss Pullover by Teti Lutsak

Bringing things back to Earth, the way these broad cables fade into the fabric reminds me of my desire to be buried in one of those mushroom suits after I die. Your interpretation may vary.

Waterbender by Yiğitcan / Pufido

The ultimate in dramatic sleeves.

Day Dreams by Stacy Collingham

Finally... I think the Power Rangers fought this sweater.

Another commercial I would produce as an advertising executive:

A husband and wife eat a bland dinner together in a dimly-lit kitchen. They don't speak or look at each other. The meal: a pathetic Salisbury steak.

Cut to their bedroom at night. The wife lays sleeping in the bed while in the background the husband is putting on her dress, pantyhose, pearl necklace, heels, makeup, and a wig. When he's done he quietly leaves the room. The wife opens her eyes as soon as she's sure he's gone.

Now we're in a seedy dive bar. A small crowd of mustachioed men wearing leather jackets, black boots, and sunglasses sip beers and puff cigarettes while the "show" unfolds. Camera pans down, then pans to the side. Between the black boots we see the husband on his hands and knees, greedily eating a Chipotle Chorizo Burrito Bowl with Cilantro Lime Rice from a plastic dog bowl on the floor. His makeup is ruined, face smeared with sour cream and hot sauce.

A man steps forward. The husband looks up, and his expression changes to that of a deer in the headlights. Cut to reveal that the "man" standing before the husband is none other than his wife, in elaborate drag as a Tom of Finland biker, false mustache and officer cap and all. She smiles warmly, and nods. The husband smiles too, and resumes his meal.

Chipotle: Own Your Fantasy

After two rounds of ordering many many tiny 8g viles of number 11 wisteria lined crystal toho sead beads, I gave up and looked for bulk.

So for about $77 or about 15.5 cents a gram,

I am now the proud owner if half a kilo of these beeds

Behold! The riches of the third house!

And please ignore the state of my rug

Last night, after work I ran downstairs with my 8ft of strung beads, 7 silver rings, medium weight cord and a box of safety pins to try and figure out the proportions of the 7th house lung necklace.

And I created a monstrosities that would have turned off any shabari enthusiast and horrified any punk.

But after an hour of fiddling, I created this.

Which allowed me to create this

The first colum is the label for each strand so I don't get confused. The second colum is the number of beads in each stand. As measured by a single strand of size 11 seed beads. And the third colum is that length in centimeters. It turned out that there are 20 size 11 sead beads in 5 centimeters so the math was easy.

I also created the strand with a 5, 10, and 20 could pattern so they would be easy to count.

Anyways, I did some math the sum of one side of lung is 259.75cm so the whole thing will be 519.5cm or a little over 5 meters....

I'm very excited!

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”

Remember that the right person will never get tired of you even in the worst times

I found the flicking pattern I've been trying to recreate for 2 months.

This is the technique for the 7th house

I should start work on it once I get back on meds and and able to concentrate on things

The teeny tiny roman numeral charms have arived!

And it's perfect! I'm about to mess up a perfectly good necklace by adding these little fandom flourishes.

I'm so excited

Edit: I just dropped it on the floor. I should have done this on the floor . But to be fair this is not the first time the second has had some trouble on a table

I am nothing if not crafty.

Finished my first row of this project. It's about a yard long. I need to figure out where to buy size 11 wisteria lined crystal beads in bulk. Because 100 grams isn't going to get me more than a few rows deep. I'll try to post a picture buts about 3 feet long

This is the start of my third house "necklace"

Its technically going to be a triangular scarf mare than a traditional necklace. I wanted the most extra thing possible and since cloath of gold was outside the brief, I settled on cloath of glass.

It also sort of reminds me of ancient Egyptian bead garments.

It's really southing to make

Sadly I ran out of beads. Luckily they are relatively cheap seed beads but it will be days till more arive.