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10 Tips For Coping With Emotional Overwhelm as a Highly Sensitive Person

April 2, 2019

For the past five months (after the sudden loss of my partner), I have experienced an intense state of grief. Due to a variety of factors, I have actually been experiencing what is considered to be complicated grief as an already highly sensitive person (HSP).

This profound grief has been the most difficult and painful challenge of my life. Since my sensitivity is at an all time high, this experience has felt beyond the usual state of overwhelm I have been accustomed to.

At first, the grief and emotional overwhelm was debilitating. I was barely getting out of bed and basically losing my will to live even though I was not planning to die. I would go days without sleeping and was in shock. This may be a normal reaction to grief. However, experiencing this as an HSP can feel like the worst form of torture, especially being a highly romantic /sensitive soul. I knew I was desperate to seek peace and willing to do what it took to get out of my emotional rut. I knew that i couldn't keep living like that and I needed to heal and find coping strategies to gradually start living my life again.

Over the years, I have learned about a variety of healing methods and coping strategies. I have noticed incredible results from implimenting new coping tools, but my lack of consistency has often blocked my capacity to thrive.

The healing process has been gradual and I am still in the process of navigating my grief. However, I have found that implementing certain coping tools consistently has been an important factor in managing my emotions.

The following tips include some of the coping strategies I have used to aid in my healing process and manage my emotions more effectively...

1. Calming Activities

I know it is common knowledge to engage in calming activities when feeling overwhelmed, but I have noticed the difference when not practiced regularly. During my recovery, I have found it beneficial to regularly do activities such as deep breathing exercises, prayer, meditation, receiving massage work (can help release energy blocks and can promote relaxation).

2. Mindfulness/ Awareness

Because a vast amount of stimuli (both external and internal) can overstimulate an HSPs highly sensitive nervous system, HSPs can easily feel stuck in the mind/feelings and not present in the body and moment. I have noticed that consistent mindfulness practices and body awareness exercises have been a crucial aspect of my own personal healing and growth.

3. Reminders

Because practicing new behaviors may require a degree of focus and practice, it can be difficult for some people to follow through and form a new habit. I find it helpful to have reminders such as Sticky notes or an accountability partner to practice new habits. Being aware and reminded about healthier thinking patterns can also be helpful.

4. Self Care/Acceptance

I find that self care practices and acceptance of myself and the reality of a situation can be a key factor regarding emotional stability and life itself. Whether it's taking care of basic health or buying yourself a small gift, it can really make a difference! I am learning self acceptance and relinquishing self shame can take some work and time, but I lean toward the belief that it is worth it!

5. Support System

I don't know where I would be without a solid support system. Having a support network, whether it be a support group or getting professional help, it can help with healing, self isolation and help realize you are not alone. Many support groups or therapists may also suggest helpful coping strategies to help regulate ones emotions more effevtively.

6. Removing/Reducing Triggers

For the longest time, I subjected myself to various people, places, and things that triggered emotional overwhelm. Removing emotional or otherwise overwhelming triggers doesn't always mean completely avoiding all your triggers. It can sometimes be more about knowing ones triggers/feelings, self awareness, and responding in healthier or more tolerable ways (i.e. Limiting how much time you spend around a triggering person, place, or thing). Sometimes avoiding some situations all together is best though.

7. Boundaries

Reducing triggers and setting boundaries go hand in hand. I have learned that setting and enforcing boundaries for yourself is actually a very important and a way to love yourself! I think having internal as well as external boundaries is important to note. I plan on discussing more about boundaries in a future post.

8. Processing Feelings

I know processing emotions is not always fun and can be exhausting, but I have learned that feeling and expressing my emotions is an important element in healing emotions. While I don't believe one should torture themselves into an emotional rut, I have learned that sometimes, in order to release what is going on within a person's mind and body, it can be a relieving to release whatever built up emotions and tension one might be experiencing. Their are a variety of ways to express or relieve emotions. For some people that may include physical activities such as exercise. For others this may include expressing oneself through artistic endeavors such as painting, drawing, writing, or singing etc... Sometimes it can be a relief to talk it out with someone you trust or to have a good cry. I'm not suggesting getting stuck in feelings. It is more about acknowledging, feeling, validating, and releasing the feelings without getting attached to the the thoughts and feelings.

9. Retreating Alone

Because many HSPs can easily get overwhelmed by the massive amount stimuli in the world and in the mind, many HSPs tend to retreat alone to relax, energize, and sometimes even function in the world. While I believe HSPs need more alone time than most of the population, I have learned the importance of not isolating myself as well. Self isolation can lead to lonliness, more feelings of not belonging, and more emotional overwhelm.

10. Change Your Focus

Certain coping strategies such as meditating, changing perspectives, and replacing negative thinking with positive thinking can be beneficial for HSPs. I don't believe it changes the way you think over night but with a certain amount of practice and belief can make it easier. I also find it helpful to focus on some thing that can create joy or laughter. Seeking out inspiration has been helpful for me because I find that not only does it help me feel inspired but it has helped improve my mood, focus, and motivation.

This post is only a brief description about my struggle with emotional overwhelm and 10 tips that have helped me go from debilitating emotions to my current status. Although it hasn't been easy, I can honestly say that I am currently working full time, back in school taking more advanced classes, and persistently working on my revovery. The key has been faith, willingness, and consistency in my growth.

Hopefully these tips will be helpful in some way to others as well! Feel free to let me know in the comments what has helped you with emotional overwhelm or about your experiences. As always, thank you for taking the time to read my post!

With Love,

Dahlia

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Holiday Hacks For The Highly Sensitive Person

• Embrace the art of kindness (i.e. Practicing random acts of kindness). 

• Ground yourself and practice deep breathing to center yourself on a regular basis. 

• Create a gratitude list including 5 things you are grateful for each day. 

• Simplify the holidays (i.e. Decluttering items, writing shopping or grocery lists). 

• Pamper yourself and rejuvenate. 

• Embrace your creativity by making DIY gifts such as bath or baking products. There are many resources that include a variety of DIY gifts such as YouTube or Pinterest. 

• Don’t be hard on yourself. 

• Get yourself a gift. 

• Embrace old traditions that you love or cultivate new traditions. Do which ever one works for you. 

• Take time and space to recharge at holiday events (i.e. Bathroom breaks, taking a walk outside, etc)...

• Avoid over indulgence. This may include foods, compulsive spending, alcohol, and other toxic substances.

• Exercise regularly if possible. 

• Seek out inspiration to help motivate you during the holidays. 

• Create a budget if you plan on spending money during the holidays. 

• To avoid sensory overload, it may be helpful to shop when it is less crowded. This may include mornings or before the holidays. Shopping online may also be a helpful option. 

• Get cozy and find time to relax. 

• Help create someone else’s holiday. 

• Know your triggers and have a plan that includes healthy coping strategies. 

• If you are low on cash, swapping trades with someone such as babysitting or cooking can be a great gift idea on the holidays.

• Attend support groups. There are a number of support groups such as 12 step meetings on the holidays that may provide support as well as holiday celebration. 

Wishing you all a happy holidays!

With love,

Dahlia

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Ethereal Rose...

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5 Reasons Highly Sensitive People Struggle With Loneliness

June 26, 2019

For the past month, I have debated on whether or not to post about loneliness as it can involve various factors or perspectives. I would also love to elaborate on this topic in my next article post as I am exploring ways to dissolve my own feelings of loneliness.

As humans, we are wired to connect with others and I believe it is an important need to be addressed. Without healthy connections, people usually try to meet these needs in a variety of unhealthy (self destructive) ways.

Although most people experience loneliness at some point in their lives, this feeling seems to come with the territory of being a highly sensitive person (HSP) on a chronic level.

Why Do We Feel Lonely?

The following list includes five common reasons HSPs may struggle with loneliness...

1. Self Isolation

Most highly sensitive people require plenty of alone time to process things (especially introverts). Although solitude is needed to recharge and protect our sensitivity, we can easily take our alone time too far without realizing it. Too much solitude can lead to self isolation. Experiencing overwhelming emotions may also lead to isolation.

2. Feeling Misunderstood/ Invalidated

Feeling misunderstood also seems to come with the territory of being an HSP. I believe one reason is that many of us want to be true to ourselves and express ourselves authentically in a society that encourages the opposite.

As HSPs, we tend to experience our emotions intensely and process things deeply. It can be difficult to express ourselves in ways non HSPs may understand and (often is misunderstood) as a result, many HSPs may feel invalidated. The HSP may have difficulty finding people that understand or validate their feelings or ideas.

3. Fear of Rejection/ Criticism

Along with feeling misunderstood, HSPs are prone to fearing rejection. Many of us struggle with social anxiety and may feel inadequate.

I believe that many people don't realize that HSPs tend to be highly self conscious and can be hard enough on themselves. The added pressure from other's criticism can simply be too much to process for an HSP. This can lead to withdrawal and loneliness.

4. Vibes

Hsps are often intuitive empaths that can pick up the energy from the environment or other's. We can also easily pick up on social cues, expressions, intentions or the underlying motives of other's.

HSPs may also feel super uncomfortable around "fake" people and want to avoid surface level friendships in general. HSPs tend to prefer deep and meaningful connections and conversations and may avoid certain people or situations if an uncomfortable vibe or feeling arises.

5. Rumination

Highly Sensitive people are known for having abundant inner worlds and a natural talent for creativity (which is amazing)! Unfortunately, this trait can also make HSPs more prone to rumination (overthinking/feeling about situations).

Rumination can also be linked to anxiety, depression, trauma, various forms of addictions (All can be isolating experiences).

The heightened state of anxiety associated with rumination may lead to a fight or flight reaction causing an HSP to either avoid social situations or negatively react. This can lead to more feelings of isolation, invalidation, and avoidance.

You Are Not Alone!

If anyone can relate to this article, please know that you are not alone in this world and your feelings are valid! There are others (including myself) that can relate and care!

I plan on writing more about this topic and my journey to dissolving my chronic loneliness.

If you can relate to this post or need to reach out, feel free to share in the comments! Thankyou very much for your support!

With Love, 

Dahlia

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