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Relationships - Blog Posts
me, physically shaking: don't make another divorcee, don't make another divorcee
the hind mind, chronic divorce trope lover: but they always wanted children together and split amicably because love doesn't always mean devotion
hey guys im back! it only took a failed relationship and falling in love with a guy who has to go back to german who "doesn't want to hold me back with a long distance relationship".
what did i miss?
Sooo true
The only man worth chasing this summer is the ice cream man.
Ways I develop character relationships in my writing
This is just a small list of things I do to add a little bit of coziness into my writing through my characters! Relationships (both platonic and romantic) are notoriously hard to write, so here are some of my tips!
Characters picking up on each other’s mannerisms
Characters finishing each other’s sentences
When one character trips/falls/slips and their friend(s) make fun of them before helping them up
Inside jokes
When a group is laughing together, characters who immediately look at each other to see if they found it funny also
Friends who can’t keep it together in serious situations when they’re together
Platonic touching (hugging, hand holding, high fives, etc.)
Characters discussing future plans
Intentionally making fun of each other in front of their crush/partner
For an art request can you please draw one of your headcanons?
I’m not entirely sure if this would be considered a headcanon or not but I like the thought that Aizawa is more emotionally open around Mic and that he values him a lot.
[Long wall of text of my thoughts and opinions incoming]
Like, I understand the comedy aspect of Aizawa being somewhat of a dick towards Mic seeing as that is how their dynamic is often portrayed as in the show, i.e. Aizawa being annoyed/putting up with Mic’s shenanigans. Their relationship does get more expanded upon in the Hospital raid arc but even then, Aizawa being more of a fan-favourite because, among other things, he’s part of the main cast gets more fleshed out than Mic despite Oboro having been both of their friend. In the hospital after the raid, Aizawa shows a certain degree of dismissiveness of Mic’s feelings, which yes, I can understand may be because he didn’t want to talk about it and that was his way of coping, but remember that they are alone and it has been shown that he is often more open with his feelings and opinions when it’s just the two of them, not to mention that Mic is now his only surviving friend from back in their days at U.A. At least maybe show the audience Aizawa having some kind of emotional reaction to the fact that Midnight, a close friend of theirs, who has impacted his life a lot, ex. with sending in an application to U.A, has just died.
And like I said, I do understand and actually like the more teasing side of their relationship but what I don’t like is when it’s just Aizawa treating Mic poorly and Mic is depicted as the stupid comic relief when his character is a lot more nuanced.
As previously mentioned, however, Mic is just a side character which means the show and the creator won’t bother making him more complex than necessary (often to further Aizawa’s story) which means that the fanbase who don’t think too much about him as a character will just staple him as the comic relief (which I want to make clear is totally fine because we all have characters we focus on more than others, be it a comfort character or simply just caring for one character more than another).
What I don’t like is when it’s clear that someone favours Aizawa more than Mic in the Erasermic relationship and portrays Mic as “inferior” to Aizawa and bases his character off of his stereotypes (ex. being loud all the time and acting immature) and won’t look past that. Fortunately, I rarely stumble upon this sort of interpretation and I want to once again make it clear that it’s fine if you like one character more in a ship, my point is that I personally dislike when the other character in the relationship isn’t given at least some of that focus and is more like an accessory than anything.
For me with the Erasermic dynamic, I like when a clear balance is shown. I personally am a big fan of Mic and I like breaking his character down to its bare bones and giving him more depth than the source material does…so basically making my own headcanons about him lol. But I also like Aizawa a lot and I guess my guilty pleasure is portraying them in a healthy and equal companionship where Mic isn’t the only one who openly shows his appreciation.
So, uh, yeah. That was a lot lol. Apologies for the long wait, I had an exam a few days ago and finally had some free time to work on the request. I hope the drawing is sufficient and correlates to the wall of text above.
On another note, here’s an extra little headcanon of these two being two of the smartest characters in the show, yet not hesitating to egg each other on when it comes to dumb ideas (I drew this in like 5 seconds and barely put any effort into it lol)
i dont know if i’ve made a post about this yet but i wanted to go over my views on relationships and sex as i was rambling about it to my brother the other day
personally, i view sex as just another part of your relationship with somebody. like i will casually sleep with friends, but not all of them. some of them i will casually cuddle and stuff, but again, not all of them. it just depends on the relationship you have with them.
and when it comes to dating, again, i just view that as your unique relationship with somebody. i understand that not everybody views dating this way, and it’s a conversation to have with any future partners, but i personally would want to still sleep with and date other people while in a relationship, and would be fine with my partner doing that too. i don’t like the idea of devoting my entire body to one singular person.
what relationships should NOT be:
filled with anxiety, self-doubts, extreme jealousy
a one-way thing
never stepping out of your comfort zone
blantantly forces you to do something you don’t want to do
hostile atmosphere is ever-present
lack of autonomy
uncomfortable, stagnant, undermining, empty
forgetting that you have a life outside of your relationship
make you feel limited, inferior, confined, always exhausted, insufficient
compromise your mental health and growth
what relationships should be:
promotes your welfare
filled with trust, honesty, and a stable communication
freedom to choose and speak
mental health is considered a priority
two-way thing
a safe, supportive space for both of you
empowers and fulfils you
might be filled with both the good stuff and sometimes bad stuff
^ but only because it helps you grow
a constant journey of self-discovery
Funny story (not really a story or funny but whateves) at my house ever since I was a small child we have never celebrated valentines day with a boyfriend or girlfriend until around six years ago because my siblings boyfriends birthday is on valentines day. We buy or make gifts for each other and make them look all pretty and give them to each other on valentines day. We like to also include friends in this sometimes and in eighth grade I bought a dress a whole bouquet of orange roses chocolate strawberries and a couple stuffies and gave them all to my best friend and we had a whole day of fun! I like my tradition a lot because we include friends family and lovers. To us valentines is a day for relationships and love, that includes all types of relationships and all types of love.
if i see anyone posting about being “forever alone” on valentines day they’re getting instantly blocked. i don’t want to hear it from alloromantics again this year
I know this is like,, a Bellarke thing but can I also just put Klance out here real quick
raise your hand if you have ever had to wait 7 seasons for your ship to become canon even though they are the least platonic pairing in the history of tv
love freely - E.C. - oct. 2020
the most optimal partner is someone who shares a lot of your interests and personal philosophies and lifestyle choices but HARD opposes you on things like favorite candy flavors. knowing i can just dump all my white chocolate on my bf to take care of and he dumps all his dark chocolate on me in turn for the same reason has fully convinced me that soulmates are real
Tips to Write Best Friends- Authoring advice 💕
There are many types of best friends. Some besties are complete opposites, others would have hated each other’s guts without their experiences together. Some are childhood buddies, and some met much later in life. But each one has similarities and are important.
For me, writing the relationship between two characters is the best part of writing, but for others… it may be difficult.So here are some tips!
Good Moments
Each friendship should have a few good moments in the book. This helps show why their friends and how their relationship works, also provides some clarity on their personalities.
The moments could be bantering between one another. Perhaps teasing, or helping the other cope. It could be anything that isn’t negative. They could be doing an activity together, even if it’s silent. They could be having a meaningful conversation; this is useful for explaining exposition to readers as well 😉.
But be careful. You can’t just be sprouting meaningful conversations out of nowhere.It’s best to give hints at their relationship in the first or second chapter you meet them. Build the base of their bond.
The good moments should be consistent with their personalities or situation. Character A maybe should not be teasing their bestie a chapter after their dad died.
Arguments
Disagreements between friends are inevitable. Its bound to happen, therefor conflicts are needed in your story. Your characters are people, and have their own opinions. And those opinions are not identical to their companion’s.
But, unless there’s a good reason and its believable, they should always make up. You chose how to do this, their your characters.
Reading Each Other's Mind
I do not mean literally. And it may not be constant, but best friends (especially if they knew each other for years) should be able to predict each other’s emotions, actions (some if not most of them), and reactions. These buddies should know when not to cross the line, (of course people always make mistakes so take that into account.).
Maybe the besties know each other so well they can synchronize. I am thinking of a team, fighting on the battlefield, fortelling eachothers moves and working together. This can also work for sports teams, charades, and attempting to not to die.
Relationship Development
This does not go for everyone. Some people and their relationships don’t change. But growth never hurts, and can in fact help your story to have some development.
Example: say if character A realizes she does not appreciate character B, in some form. This changes their relationship because now character A listens to character B’s thoughts.
People and their bonds change. They grow and evolve, so it’s realistic to have growth to you story.
This is all I got! Thank you for reading, and have a FANTASTIC DAY! I’m posting soon!
Tips to Write Best Friends- Authoring advice 💕
There are many types of best friends. Some besties are complete opposites, others would have hated each other’s guts without their experiences together. Some are childhood buddies, and some met much later in life. But each one has similarities and are important.
For me, writing the relationship between two characters is the best part of writing, but for others… it may be difficult.So here are some tips!
Good Moments
Each friendship should have a few good moments in the book. This helps show why their friends and how their relationship works, also provides some clarity on their personalities.
The moments could be bantering between one another. Perhaps teasing, or helping the other cope. It could be anything that isn’t negative. They could be doing an activity together, even if it’s silent. They could be having a meaningful conversation; this is useful for explaining exposition to readers as well 😉.
But be careful. You can’t just be sprouting meaningful conversations out of nowhere.It’s best to give hints at their relationship in the first or second chapter you meet them. Build the base of their bond.
The good moments should be consistent with their personalities or situation. Character A maybe should not be teasing their bestie a chapter after their dad died.
Arguments
Disagreements between friends are inevitable. Its bound to happen, therefor conflicts are needed in your story. Your characters are people, and have their own opinions. And those opinions are not identical to their companion’s.
But, unless there’s a good reason and its believable, they should always make up. You chose how to do this, their your characters.
Reading Each Other's Mind
I do not mean literally. And it may not be constant, but best friends (especially if they knew each other for years) should be able to predict each other’s emotions, actions (some if not most of them), and reactions. These buddies should know when not to cross the line, (of course people always make mistakes so take that into account.).
Maybe the besties know each other so well they can synchronize. I am thinking of a team, fighting on the battlefield, fortelling eachothers moves and working together. This can also work for sports teams, charades, and attempting to not to die.
Relationship Development
This does not go for everyone. Some people and their relationships don’t change. But growth never hurts, and can in fact help your story to have some development.
Example: say if character A realizes she does not appreciate character B, in some form. This changes their relationship because now character A listens to character B’s thoughts.
People and their bonds change. They grow and evolve, so it’s realistic to have growth to you story.
This is all I got! Thank you for reading, and have a FANTASTIC DAY! I’m posting soon!
I got good at leaving; but I'm asking you to stay.
These words have been with me for so long they aren't easy to say.
I'm afraid if I speak them to the empty air there won't be anything left of me.
I haven't tried before; I just watched them leave.
So I'm hoping this time, if I give these words to you.
You'll take their place in my chest and say you love me too.
Note To Society #21
You don’t owe anyone sex. No one owes you sex. Just because someone likes you doesn’t mean you need to have sex with them if you aren’t comfortable with it. Same goes for dating. You can’t force anyone into dating you, or participating in sexual interactions, just because you feel entitled to it. Sex and relationships are mutual agreements made both BOTH parties, and any differing decisions should be respected.
Note To Society #15
The people you choose to associate yourself with are the people others will look at when judging your character. If your ‘friends’ are bad people, you will also be seen as a bad person. Be careful who you hang out with; they help to shape your personality.
Therapeutic Rants
Ranting here because a) real therapy is expensive b) we need to stop treating friends as therapists, and c) if I keep this internalized, it might just eat me alive.
Being alone again.
Well, officially, it is over. After two long years of friendship, one year of a relationship, I've lost them. Dare to say that it was a peaceful ending as I continue to sharpen the blades they left and patch the oozing wounds. Dare to say it was hell for even trying to be with them.
I have a savior's complex; I know it well. You see, when I was a child, my parents weren't emotionally stable. I had to learn how to regulate grown adults behaviors to maintain the peace in my house. So, in relationships, I suppose I do/did the same. Keeping the peace only delayed, not prevented, the war.
At first, with my phone now silent, I thought I could ignore the feeling. It's so weird to constantly check for notifications and then remind yourself, "it's over". I suppose this is the right thing to do. To turn off my phone for a couple weeks and take a walk outside. But that would only delay and mask the feelings.
Why did I end that relationship?
Well, I could no longer simply ignore myself in it. When we first met, we connected by stories. They saw a talent that I had hidden away and encouraged me to write. I was finishing a brief story for my English class and decided to send them the draft for them to read. And that sparked our relationship.
They would always ask if I had a new idea ready or if I ever finished my thousands of 'work in process' pieces. Every time I had a story done, I would send it and they would read it almost instantly. Over the time, they told me how much I've improved and I slowly gained myself back. I felt real once again.
We would analyze our favorite parts and character scenes. It was so much fun to connect with someone without weird glances and judgmental comments like in previous relationships. I could be weird with someone!
Fun until one moment.
I was scrolling, as one does, when I came across a drawing of a old ship and accidently fell in love with their story again. So much so, that I had to write my thoughts on them and draft an idea. I was so excited to share and tell the other about all the details I've researched: their connection, they people believed they were together in game, why they made sense, and then filled them to prepare them with my idea, a brief 1,000 word or so story.
So, armed with fan arts and my story, I sent them first some fan arts for the characters and then the draft, excited to see what they would analyze. I already had my favorite parts outlined on my printed out version. I made a little board for the pictures, too.
And then, there was a sudden change in tune. The "shoe dropping" moment.
At first, they claimed that they were busy or had other projects to get done. They have mediocre responses to the fan arts (like saying, "oh, cool" vs "omgg, they are so adorable! Who are they?) They never claimed those excuses before but hey! Different days, different times. It's fine.
But then their true nature reveal itself.
The sudden issue was the fact that the story had two male characters in a relationship. None of my previous ideas/stories had a relationship like that. I was simply expanding on my horizons and trying new things. Mind you, there was no details in the story unlike the stories I could find on A03 (yall are crazy). Heck, I don't even think they kissed! They cuddled or something. But with the fan arts, that was enough for them to pause and stare at me.
But because of their family issues and upbringing, they couldn't bring themselves to read it. At first, I didn't see it as homophobic, I saw it as preferences. Everyone has them! But over time, I realized it wasn't a preference.
I deleted that idea out of "respect" for the other and only sent them stories I knew that they would like, the ones that we've analyzed and talked about before. But there was a change, too, every time I sent a story. It was like they were looking for a gay scene after I reassured them that I didn't include it. Granted, I also began writing those relationships on the side because I just like two characters falling in love with each other. Forgive me.
But that only boiled and boiled until one day that I couldn't take it anymore. No longer did they read my stories with the same joy that they once did. Rejection is a feeling I've felt since a kid. No one likes the weird. It got to a point that I felt I was hiding myself in order to keep a relationship going. Sacrifices are made together not separate.
After first talking about it to them, they assured me that they would try again. They were sorry and explained their family situation which, again, is fine. But we live in a world in which gay people exist. So, simply ignoring or treating them differently doesn't make sense.
So, I sent them one of my other stories to try again out of good faith. And I waited. And waited. Reminded them. And waited.
Until we broke down again. They said that I would hate them if they revealed something. I told them that I wouldn't. They, at first, said they tried. But only reading five pages of a thirty page story in one hour? Really? I know I have my moments, but over an entire month, you couldn't have read more? The opening scenes were just the world they lived it! lmao. I tried to understand why they would say one thing and do the other. I really liked our conversations, but I couldn't ignore that anymore.
So, I called it off.
Still, it hurts because you half way expected them to prove you wrong and half way expected them to prove you right. Regardless, you can't change someone's mind.
Hopefully someone can relate to this. This is fun, you should try this, too.
Best.
HOW LOVE IS MAKING ME FEEL: Day 3
I feel like total shit, not pretty, not skinny, not cute not anything, sometimes i get scared people will know we are together because lf how i look and make fun of me, i get scared and insecure everyday and sad and disappointes everynight, but just for a momento, only for a beautiful momento, i feel pretty and cute when you say to me how gorgeous i am, how you like my body, my makeup or my accesories, how you just love me, and for that tiny second, i feel that u actually love mysel.
30-09-19
Exactly yaaar....ladka nibhane wala hota hai to ladki galat milti hai ladki nibhane wala milti hsi to ladka chutiya hota hai....Bhagwaan do sahi insaan ko mila kyu nhi rahe ....🤔khair mera to ab bharosha uth rha hai inn sabse....😐
Jo mohabbat nibhane ki himmat rakhte hain unhe kabhi mohabbat milti hi nahi hai
Totally True yaar.....
This generation really makes the most loving people never want to love again.
Interest hai par time nhi hai..busy rhti hu.. bc ye sab chutiyapanti hai interest hoga to aayegi baat karegi time degi...
Don't be afraid to lose them. Because if they truly care about you, they're not going anywhere.
You're an angel, I'm a dog. Or you're a dog and I'm your man?
sickens me to my stomach. how dare this guy get to live my dream.
you know when you're talking to your friend who you also used to date and they're talking about their new love interests and it's all you can fucking do not to lose your shit and split on them and just listen and congratulate them because logically you love that person because they are your best friend and they also love you but shit just didn't work romantically between the two of you but now every time they talk about it you wanna put scissors in your ears because you feel so fucking lonely and disgusting and unworthy of the thing that everyone else has but you don't??
no me neither
these are my thoughts on the matter, as usual, expressed through ugly comics
assuming both partners have fully developed frontal lobes, what is an appropriate age gap (i am asking in context of my parents)
From a teen to the adults (And others)
Forcing people do do things is wrong. It doesn't matter the person or the cercumstances. Its wrong. My own parents somehow don't understand that. People have their triggers, their dislikes, certain things that bother us more than the person standing beside us. Some people aren't afraid to jump head first, some are. Example, a couple years ago I went to this.... Swimming area? A natural pool where people would swim and hang out at. You would climb the slope up to a drop, where then, you would jump. When I got up though, it was muddy and slippery, I was going to do it even when I slipped. The people down below started trying to encourage me. Despite the good intentions, it didn't help. I got overwhelmed, I turned back around thoroughly embarrassed. My father getting onto me for it wasn't exactly helping either. The people had good intentione, I wasn't mad at them. Like my parents, they try and break me out of my shell all the time. Its the way those people do things though. Shoving people into it or getting hostile about their preferences and fears doesn't help. Be patient, see if they work themselves up to doing whatever it is. See if they ask you for help. If they do, be easy and understanding about it. Remember, people have borders, pushing those until they break or build higher is not the things you want to do. This isn't just to parents, but also to my age group. For anyone and everyone. Its an important piece of knowledge for life, for friends, siblings, communitys, even strangers. Don't try and pull them out of it. Reassure them, let them know they aren't alone. Separated from others in their struggles. Hated for something they try and 'fix' even when people can't see it. That they aren't broken or shoved away because of it. At least that you won't treat them that way, even if others do. Now, this isn't just for people to recognize but for the people that read this and know that it's for them. That somebody knows and others will as well.
I hope enough people see this, for enough people to be affected by what I just shared.
Reblog this if you agree or want to help.
@panromanticturtle
@leafiles
Love this, Scollace is cute.
But also, same question. I love the fake-relationship-that-turns-real trope. It's funny, cute and dramatic, but like how do you get "fake married"? Like are the documents the never-weds sign not legally binding? Or when the authorities say "you have to prove you're actually married or you'll be fined and thrown in prison!” Like they got married for convenience/personal necessities sure; but how would the authorities actually be able to prove that? Not all couples are physically affectionate or live together.
marriage fraud with your best friend — such a scollace coded audio lmao
(I have no clue why young neil is randomly there and this is probably OOC for him and stacey but whatever)
(audio is by @ lyleforever on tiktok)