Me, Physically Shaking: Don't Make Another Divorcee, Don't Make Another Divorcee

best part about being a 4 most of the time is that i know how to clean up into a 9 and then everyone is surprised and i get enough compliments to fuel me for a year

bitches be like “this is the best piece of literature i have ever read” and it’s either a book that took them six weeks to finish or a fanfic they read at 3 AM

i remember in my 7th grade English class we were doing poetry about a personal experience and i took the trauma route and wrote about how i felt when my father was stationed but from my mother's perspective and used they/them to convey how i felt like i didn't know him until he finally came home and my English teacher gave me a full lecture about being clear about my character's appearances and attributes and i gave me a 95 when i changed all the they/them pronouns to he/him

anyway im nonbinary now

oh wow so many pretty woman are liking my posts and following, i must be irresistible

me: aw yeah look at me i learned how to use chopsticks in under three minutes im so smart :)

me four minutes earlier: ooooo look, two day old sushi leftovers!!

live laugh love ao3, just muted someone for having the worst take on a character i've ever seen ❤️❤️❤️

me, writing: how many vowels can i add before this sound ends up summoning something

just applied to my first actual job ever and a bitch is STRESSING. like- realistically i know that hey won't respond right away and might not respond at all because i literally have no resume, but another part of me is losing its shit. i really want to have a job at this point but at the same time i'm terrified because that means i'm an actual adult and work a literal 9-5. spooky

me, leaning across the bar and twirling my hair: so, you come here often

en dash: you've used me 47 times in this one document– please just let me die

idk whats with the fanfics tonight but this shits hurting man