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Insecure - Blog Posts
Over thinkerShoto todoroki x reader
☁️Fluff
You’re in your room studying for exams listening to music when you hear the doorbell ring. You wonder who it could be, as you walk downstairs and open the door to find your boyfriend Shoto standing with an umbrella in the cold rain. He looks like he's been crying for his eyes are red and puffy and he keeps sniffling, ”Shoto! W-whats wrong?!” You practically yell bringing him inside “ are you o-okay!!?” You panic..He shakes his head not saying a word as you pull him inside, shutting the door behind him and he sets down his umbrella. He continues to sniffle and whimper softly as he stands there dripping water all over the floor….
“Oh shoto…”.. “I’ll be right back” .. you go into your room and grab a towel and a pair of your biggest clothes for him, returning towards him you hand him the clothes and towel “ change when you come out we can talk or if you stay like that you’ll get sick..”, “Okay…” He nods and replies as he grabs the towel and the clothes you give to him. He goes into the bathroom nearby and changes out of his completely soaked clothes that stick to his skin showing his complexion and into your dry ones. He was drowning in your hoodie but the pants seemed to fit him well, they were just a little short. He walks out of the bathroom looking a lot better than he did before but still looking upset.
“What wrong sho?..” you question him, “come on let’s sit on the sofa..” you tell him worryingly.. He nods once again doing as you say and sitting down on the sofa. He looks down at his lap for a few minutes as he wipes away the last of his tears and before finally speaking “…Can I ask you something?” He questions, “Anything sho!” You hold onto his hand, “You promise you won’t be mad?” -He looks at your hand holding his and grips it, squeezing your hand feeling its warmth.
He lets out a shaky sigh and grips your hand tighter while looking down “You don’t…have romantic feelings for anyone else besides me right?..”, “W-what?!” “What makes you think that?!” You exclaim shockingly, tightening your grip on his hand He lets out a shaky sigh and bites the inside of his cheek, “…There’s this boy in my class, he’s…well he’s pretty or whatever.. and I heard a few people in my class say that you two talk sometimes. I’m just overthinking it…I’m sorry..” you look at him with a confused look and ask “what do you mean? Sho the only pretty boy in class i have my eyes on is you..” you smile at him , He looks up you and gives you a shaky smile. He feels stupid now for even bringing it up and thinking such things “I didn’t mean to upset you I just…I got scared..I love you a lot and I’d be destroyed if you left me…I know I’m stupid for thinking things so easily it’s just…” he sighs..
“Oh sho.. I’d never leave you babe..” you look at him sadly, it pains your heart knowing he thinks this way… does he think you’d leave him for a “pretty boy” everyone finds attractive hell no that’s for sure.
His heart flutters slightly at your words, he lets out a shaky sigh and grips your hand tighter “Really?..You promise you won’t leave me for the pretty boy from your class?..” you scuffed “sho your the only pretty boy in my class… I don’t know any other boy that you could be talking about..” you giggle at his words, He looks away, realizing how stupid he sounds. He lets out a huff and puts his head in his free hand embarrassed “ I feel like a dumbass now..”
You laugh “ Dont say that babe… you’re the only person I’d ever lay my eyes on your my pretty boy…” you smile looking deep into his eyes, “Honestly sho don’t overthink it pains me knowing you think that way..” you kiss his soft lips .. licking your lips in hunger for more kisses.
He lets out another shaky and relieved sigh as you press your lips to his. His free hand rests on your waist and pulls you to sit on his lap. He breaks the kiss for a moment and buries his head into your neck, nuzzling it against your skin
“I’m really sorry for thinking such things…I love you so much…”.. “You should be knuckle head..” you state while playing with his semi wet hair. shivering as you touch his hair a bit wet from the rain. He gives a slight laugh at you calling him a knucklehead, knowing that he kinda deserves it and then nuzzles his head further into your neck as he speaks “I know, I’m sorry again…it’s just the people in my class keep talking about it…about how you and that boy are always talking and stuff…”.
“It’s just school work plus I didn’t want to tell you this but..” you slowly get closer to his ear and whisper “I show you off to him” you smile and you giggle in his ear. He listens to every word carefully and his cheeks turn a light pink. He takes a moment to process what you said, slightly confused at first “Huh? What do you mean you ‘show me off to him’?”, realizing what you had said but not was too late it had to be said “Oh nothing I just ramble about you a lot telling him how much of a good boyfriend you are sometimes I even get off topic on the project we do …” He can’t help but smile a bit, picturing you rambling about him to the boy as you work on projects together. He lifts his head up from your neck and looks up at you, “You really do that?” He questions “I do..”..” it’s kinda embarrassing now that I say it..” you cover your face He smiles gently at how embarrassed you are admitting it.
He gives you a satisfied smile seeing your beautiful face and moves one hand to cup your cheek. “You’re cuter than you give yourself credit for. You know that right?” You blush bright red “S-Sho!!”.. “Don’t say that” you bury yourself in his neck, He laughs at your actions and lets you bury yourself into his neck to hide your embarrassment. He brings his other hand up and runs his fingers through your hair as he smiles and speaks “Why not? I’m just saying the truth…”
You start kissing his neck softly bitting and licking into certain spots.. “Mhh.. I guess..” you breath heavily You immediately tell he’s enjoying the soft kisses on his neck, even letting out a small and shaky breath when you start biting into some special spots. He takes a moment to speak and when he does his voice is shaky and slightly strained… “Keep doing that and I’m…I’m not responsible for what happens next…”
You start kissing his neck softly bitting and licking into certain spots.. “Mhh.. if you say so..”
You continue on to leave him hickeys moving onto his lips.. He immediately melts into you as your lips move from his neck to his lips. He lets out a small hum of pleasure at the feeling as well as from the hickeys you leave. He closes his eyes and slides his tongue out a bit, gently licking over your lips as if asking for entrance into your mouth,You slowly let him inside your mouth moaning from his flavors mouth inside you… He lets out a noise of satisfaction as he slips his tongue into your mouth, immediately exploring every inch of it as he takes the lead of the kiss. The hand holding your waist suddenly grips onto you tighter as his tongue moves against yours, desperate to taste more of you.
You moan as you deeply kiss him passionately describe for his touch, He continues to dominate the kiss, holding you pressed against him as his other hand moves your hair back and out of your face so he can see you. He lets out another shaky breath as he devours your mouth, wanting this moment to last forever. He breaks the kiss for a moment, only to whisper the words, “I love you so much… ” in a soft and shaky voice before delving back in for another deep kiss…
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aaaaaaah
"do you hate me ?" "No" he said. "why ?" he soflty smiled and responded "why would I ?" "you're lying" and that was it.
With these last words, i decided to break up with him. Why ? I don't even fucking know but god how i fucking hate myself for it. But he was gonna leave me one day, i juste... Kind of made it happen quicker. Yeah, i'm an asshole. But i'm the one crying right now, he's probably living his best life, now. Without me. I always thought i was the kind of people who preferred to be alone, or at least, i always forced myself to believe that.
I'm not really... Pretty. In fact, i have nothing for myself. I'm quite stupid and not funny. But hey, that's alright. If someone like him could have loved me, I may not be as dumb as I thought I was. Well, if he really loved me in the first place.
I do not have friends, i do not go out like others peoples do. I'm just... Here. Staying all alone by myself. But that's okay, i'm not feeling anything anymore. So hey, i'm cool. Well, i think i'd be if i could.
Tomorrow, i'll have to go in class. I'll see him. I just know it. Since our breakup, i did not went back to school. It's been two months now. Aha, i'm so fucking dumb, so so so fucking pitiful. I'll probably won't even graduate this year. But that's alright, I've already disappointed my parents, they won't be surprised.
Despite the fact that I left him, i think that if i see him with somebody else, my body will not support it. I'll probably die right away before his eyes. But that's alright, he won't have to deal with me anymore in the future.
I miss him, really really much.
HOW LOVE IS MAKING ME FEEL: Day 3
I feel like total shit, not pretty, not skinny, not cute not anything, sometimes i get scared people will know we are together because lf how i look and make fun of me, i get scared and insecure everyday and sad and disappointes everynight, but just for a momento, only for a beautiful momento, i feel pretty and cute when you say to me how gorgeous i am, how you like my body, my makeup or my accesories, how you just love me, and for that tiny second, i feel that u actually love mysel.
30-09-19